GraceM's uphill battle

[GraceM]

Accountability is good and something that I need. So here we go:

Day 1:

Diet: Mushroom risotto, hummus and pita chips, and a handful of pumpkin seeds.

Exercise: I walked my dogs about a half mile twice today. My knees are killing me and it hurts to bend them or even walk up the stairs to my room.

Sleep: 8 hours last night of nice peaceful sleep (until the cat stepped on my face)

[GraceM]

Day2:

Today I am still feeling strong about doing this.

Diet: 1 large coffee with skim milk (no sugar or sweetener), 1 egg cheese and bacon wrap (considering I usually don't eat breakfast or go for a doughnut thats pretty good)

I also remembered to pack lunch... Lentil soup (no gluten and all vegan)

Exercise: I chose to park further away from the office today (baby steps right?) And I am thinking about going to the gym later, not sure if my knee is up for it though.

Sleep: 6 hours, but I really need to get off sleeping meds.

[GraceM]

So I didn't eat the lunch I packed... whoops.

I did however sign up for the gym today. I even went inside. But I got so overwhelmed and had no idea where to start so I left....

[Ghost]

The key to gyms is get in, get it done, get out.

At my Gym I always do my thing in the back room, so as soon as I walk in I disregard everything else.

Just focus on what you have to do.

Best of luck!

[GraceM]

Quick update:

Exercise: I walked the dogs for 20 minutes 2x, and I did 10 minutes of ab work to make up for being scared of the gym. (I also looked up a map of the gym and made a plan for next time so I know where to go)

Diet(ish?) I am attending a mindful eating/meditation group every Monday. It is helping me tune into my body more and understand what is good for me and what isn't. I had pita chips and humus as a snack and I am off to have some carne asada and shrimp tacos (One of each should be good, with guac that is mostly avocado).

Side note, too bad I didn't join the site sooner, I want to try one of these challenges....

[GraceM]

Day3:

Oops... I had fried cheesecake last night....

But today I am no beating myself up, I am just stepping forward.

I had butternut squash fries for breakfast (not fried, just tossed in olive oil with fresh minced garlic, cayenne pepper, black pepper, kosher salt, and topped with parmesan cheese). And I am about to heat up that soup from yesterdays lunch.

I also brought my gym gear with me and am heading to the gym to hit up the elliptical and then the sauna (the real reason I am going).

And dinner tonight: stir-fry with chicken (marinated in hoisin sauce) squash and zucchini, broccoli cauliflower, and bean sprouts.

[GraceM]

Exercise:

I did 15 minutes of the elliptical and 10 of stretching yesterday. 5 pushups (okay so my hands were on my bed and my feet on the floor but its a start) and 5 reverse dips. And I am about to head to the gym for an aquatic fitness class.

Diet:

I had that stir fry last night and a handful of chocolate chips. And 2 apple toaster strudels.

This morning I had a medium dark roast coffee with skim milk and a wrap with egg cheese and sausage (from dunkin donuts)

[GraceM]

Yesterday I spent 20 minutes in the pool doing leg exercises, for once a squat didn't hurt...

Today I am fighting the urge to eat everything in sight... I really just want something sweet, or cheesy... mmm truffle mac and cheese.... but I am not doing it.

I had black bean soup (vegan & gluten free) for lunch and a blueberry (real fruit no added sugar) Popsicle. Still hungry, not sure what I am going to eat.

[BeigeTurtle]

Grace, I found that I started wanting more food when I ramped up exercising, as well. At a certain point I decided my body just needed more fuel, and that as long as I was eating healthy foods - especially fruits and vegetables - I could make some allowances. Eventually that feeling leveled off in me.

[nemo]

Well done Grace! You're dead right, accountability is a big thing in fitness and I think that's one of the great things about the NF community. I also love your honesty, this lifestyle-change stuff is really hard sometimes and you're so right about starting small. Here's to little victories every day!!

[GraceM]

Okay, so Thursday's dinner was dried beef in a gravy over toast. (I know not very healthy, but I needed comfort food for a bad day) I did however eat half as much as I usually do and left some in the bowl (which the dogs loved). I did 10 pushups ( hands on my bed still but I was focusing on form and going slow) and 10 dips.

Friday: I had 1 bowl of cereal with soy milk, 6" ham sub from subway with spinach, pickles, cheese and light mayo, a hot dog, a crunch wrap supreme from taco bell, and 3 whiskey sours. I did however go line dancing for 5 hours and worked up one hell of a sweat and can barely walk today!

Today: I had a blueberry Popsicle and have been drinking water like its my job. And a stoffers tv dinner with mac and cheese and Salisbury steak. (oh hangovers.... how I hate you).

I am working on planning my meals for the week and I have decided to be much healthier during the week and let the weekends be my cheat days (just Friday after 5- Sunday morning). So lets set up my rules... by "healthier" what do I mean?

1. no fast food (wendy's, taco bell, all of that is gone).

2. Fruit or vegetables in every meal.(I know this is normal for most people, but it isn't for me).

3. Portion control.

4. No tv dinners or frozen meals. Fresh things only (including what I cook on sundays and store)

5. (and most important) DO NOT WAIT TILL I AM STARVING. I always do this and that is when I eat the crappiest food.

Also thank you to those of you posting on my log. It helps to know someone is looking at this, and makes me keep going!

[GraceM]

Sunday, my dad was in town so I spent the day with him. I had a large iced coffee with skim milk and caramel sauce, and a wrap with egg sausage and cheese for breakfast. For lunch I had an iced salted caramel mocha (tall) french onion soup and a few nachos covered in bacon and two types of cheese sauce (so not healthy or worth it). I noticed after that I felt like crap and disgusting.

Yesterday, I had a spicy tuna roll and an avocado salad for lunch. For dinner I made a blackened shrimp alfredo with asparagus. I at half as much as usual and made sure to have more asparagus than pasta in it. I also made it to the gym and did 16 minutes on the elliptical ( a minute longer than last time!!).

Today, I had a medium iced coffee with skim milk for breakfast, and nothing else. I know its bad. I am going home now to eat one of the portions of dinner I made last night. I am also going to make a steak marsala over mashed potatoes for dinner and portion it out again. I am not going to the gym tonight but I will be doing pushups and dips again, nice and slow focusing on form. I am aiming for 11 of each (still elevated on the bed).

[Ghost]

Mmm, that food sounds delicious!

Bulbasaur approves.

[GraceM]

Tuesday, I managed 12 of each (elevated pushups and dips).

Wednesday, I had another portion of the blackened shrimp alfredo for lunch and a portion of the steak marsala with mashed potatoes for dinner.... and then my room mate came home with halloween candy.... 1 pumpkin reeces and ~25(ish) peanut butter m&ms. I didn't go to the gym but I did clean the house for an hour. I did make salsa verde for tonights dinner though.

Today (Thursday) I had a egg white omelet on flatbread with a bit of turkey sausage and a latte for breakfast. For dinner I am making chicken enchiladas, rather than the usual flour tortillas I am using spinach tortillas. And rather than smothering it in sour cream, I will be using the fresh salsa verde I made. As for exercise, I have no clue what I will do, but I will be doing something today. Maybe the elliptical or swimming...

[GraceM]

Grrrr... my room-mate just ruined my plans to go to the gym. She called and gave me 15 minutes notice that I have to be home and wait for the cable people to show up (as I am on my way to the gym). So rather than skipping my workout like I usually would I looked up the video on how to do a perfect squat. I tried a few and managed 4, but they still hurt my knees. I am not "knee squatting", I am sitting back, keeping my weight on my heels and not letting my knees pass my toes but still no go. I will do my resistance band exercises for my legs instead but I really wish I could do a squat without pain....

[GraceM]

Dinner plans for yesterday didn't workout. Some sort of stomach bug got me and I am having issues keeping food down. I had a cup of broth last night and 2 pieces of toast and some toast with raspberry preserves today.

I am also going to start keeping track of some specs:

Body weight: 153 lbs

Body fat %: 27 %

Measurements:

Bust: 38 "

bicep: 11 "

waist: 30 "

hips: 38 "

butt: 42 "

thigh: 25 "

calf: 13 "

[GraceM]

Good news: stomach bug is gone. I finished Friday off with some butternut squash soup. Saturday I had 3 pieces of french toast with powered sugar and syrup and 3 pieces of bacon for brunch. For dinner that night I had a bacon portabella melt and junior bacon cheeseburger from Wendy's. For desert I had a weight watchers toffee crunch ice cream bar. Sunday consisted of an Iced coffee with skim milk and a bacon egg and cheese roll up for breakfast, and from dinner I finally made those chicken enchiladas. I only had 1 instead of my normal 2. Today I did a crappy job remembering to eat. I had an iced coffee this morning and a toffee crunch ice cream bar for a snack. Dinner was 2 shrimp tacos, guacamole, a cat 3 hurricane (rum drink with lots of sugar), and half of a fried banana cheesecake.

I haven't really gotten in the workout I want. Things came up work that put me off my normal schedule but I will make up for it. I have been parking farther from work so I actually have to walk 1/4 mi to get in and out. I have also been doing some of the leg resistance band exercises nightly so I can strengthen it for squats.

I did however get at least 3 people telling me that I am looking a lot better, I have lost weight and I am looking really really hott. Made me feel awesome.

[GraceM]

So I have been lazy lately, and I know it. I didn't really do anything this weekend and I have been eating whatever. I have been super tired lately and not able to motivate at all. I did just do one set of resistance band exercises for my legs and I am going to finish 2 more sets today and 2 sets of 12 elevated push ups.

Motivation-- I need it now.

[GraceM]

I finished all of the resistance band exercises and did an hour of dance cleaning. But I never made it to the pushups.

Today I started my day with a non fat venti caramel brulee late and some grapes. I had miso soup and half a shrimp tempura roll for lunch along with a few bites of salad. I am now snacking on some more grapes and apples and I will have some more of those chicken enchiladas I have left in my fridge.

I went to the gym and did 20 minutes on the elliptical, 10 minutes of stretching and 2 sets of 15 sec plank (knees and elbows). Now I am icing my knee and feeling good.

New stats for today:

weight 147 (down 6 lbs)

body fat % 25.5 (down 1.5%)

bust 38"

bicep 11"

waist 29.5" (down .5")

hips 38"

butt 43" (up 1", seriously how did this grow???)

thigh 24" (down 1")

calf 14" (up 1")

[Evicious]

Doing great! Keep it up

[GraceM]

Hmm I seem to have lost track of time. Okay so Thursday: I started with a caramel brule late and a cheese and apple plate. I did 20 minutes on the elliptical and I honestly have no clue what I had for dinner... And I walked a mile or so later in the day.

Friday: caramel brule late and grapes and apples to start, and taco bell for dinner.(Hey its the weekend) Plus an hour or so of cardio work.

Saturday: Three mushroom and spinach omelette with bacon and an iced coffee. I snacked on some sugar snap peas and pomegranate seeds. And then I ordered Pizza, cheese sticks and a cinnapie. But I only had 2 pieces of each. I also spent a few hours or so washing and doing body work on my car. My arms are killing me today, (and my car looks awesome)

Sunday (today): I had another 2 pieces of pizza, cheese sticks and the cinnapie. Also some more pomegranate seeds.

I did weight myself and I am down to 143, and 24.5% body fat (even with the pizza)

[GraceM]

Well after a successful first challenge, and a not so successful second challenge I am going to start my log here again.

 

I am wavering in my resolve and I am falling back into my old habits.  Add on top of that a worsening depression (actual clinical depression, not just "i am sad" depression) and the stress of grad school and this all adds up to way too many days of me staying in bed, eating fatty empty calories, and procrastination.  I wasn't really seeing how bad it has gotten until this week.  My advisor was giving me direction on what I need to do and I felt like my mind was fighting through a fog.  It was so hard to even concentrate on what she was saying.  Later I went to my room-mate/friend/co-worker and she basically belittled me because I hadn't been working out or even leaving my room lately.  Last night I went out to see a concert with a friend and I was just so uncomfortable in public.  She hit it off with the guys we were next to so while she was flirting and we were waiting on the way too late performer to start, I stood there like an idiot realizing my skirt barely fit, and all I wanted to do was climb back in bed and sleep for ages.

 

So obviously something has to change.  This isn't healthy and isn't good.  Not at all.  However as much as I know things have to change I am also scared by that change.    I know everything that I should be doing, but it is so much at once that I have no clue where to start.  I need to find one thing and work on that.  Focus on it and keep on that change till it is routine and part of my life and add another.

[GraceM]

Hmph....

 

Well I am back.  Things have been crazy.... well okay lets not lie.... I have been lazy and haven't done anything lately. (FYI depression sucks!)  However I have sprained my ankle by falling down the stairs and chopped off the tip of a finger while cooking....

 

But now that I am healing (as in I can walk again and actually ventured into the kitchen again... and then ran back out to avoid hurting myself) I am back and trying to log my activities and get some motivation again.

 

I have been looking for a gym buddy but I haven't found one.  Its hard when you don't really know anyone and its a big gym. 

 

I am also thinking about getting a bike and cycling into work.  A lot of people here do and that would be a good way for me to get exercise (if I don't hurt myself).  But I am not sure what type of bike to get (I think something with city/road wheels not mountain bike) or how much this will run me...

[GraceM]

So I have taken a year or so away from this site (whoops) I really don't know what happened.  I guess life got in the way and I was gone quite a bit.  Plus that whole dissertation thing (yeah school sucks right now).  But the good thing is that I took quite a few of the things I learned here with me.

 

While I haven't lost weight I haven't gained any either. I still eat my sweets and have my morning coffee(s) but I do make other healthier choices for my meals.  I am also eating more regularly than I was, but not as regularly as I should.  Breakfast, yeah that rarely happens.  I snack 3-4 times a day and eat one larger meal around 5 or 6 pm.  I am no longer late night snacking which is good.

 

As for exercise, I really need to get back on that.  I think my goal right now is my arms.  I am starting to get that arm fat bludge.. 

 

So my goals:

*To eat regularly, the main focus is starting the day with something (besides coffee). I will have to start slowly but ya know baby steps and all.

*Arm workouts, wide arm and close arm push-ups would be a good thing.  For every episode of anything I watch, 10 of each.

 

Yes, lets start there.