Habits & Life Focus

[Chanda]

I created an accountabilibuddies group called Habits: Life Focus... for those of us whose main focus at the moment is on getting our life sorted out. Mostly building good habits. Feel free to join... lets do this!

[Eridian]

That sounds like a great idea. I signed up for the group.

[Spider]

I signed up, too! Looking forward to working with y'all!

[SpazzyMal]

I'm in. I really need to focus on this right now. Strong habits are the backbone of life, right?

[Victoriaoke]

That sounds like what I'm doing this challenge (focusing on getting enough sleep, walking, eating consistently, and meditation). Haven't figured out the "groups" yet, though. :-\

[TigerTiger]

This is perfect, plus you need an assassin in the pack. I'm in!

[Jacqui]

I'd like to join also but I can't figure out how.

*nvm, figured it out*

[Rebecca150]

I'm all about building good habits! Just read a book about them, as a matter of fact.

[Heidi]

Looking forward to it.

[Chanda]

Looks like we have a full team! Glad you all joined!

I will be back in the next day or so to get things kicked off with our team. Trying to get a handle on my challenge at the moment.

For now... please complete the following sentence:

What is holding me back from living a full life is...

Give it some thought and if you feel comfortable share it with the team. I think I know the answer to mine but will sleep on it tonight and share it tomorrow.

[Jacqui]

Hi everyone! "What is holding me back from living a full life is..." My first thought was laziness, however, that was quickly countered with "I'm not lazy!" So, I've been struggling to define what exactly it is that's holding me back. I thought about insecurity and just being comfortable. This morning I think I found the answer...fear. I'm just not sure what I'm so afraid of that it's holding me back. Maybe it's because it hasn't been defined and confronted. Some initial thoughts are:

- fear of making some of the same mistakes (financially) that I did in the past (i.e. spending more, saving less)

- fear of being held accountable to something greater than I feel I can accomplish

- fear of failure

Well, I added Aristotle's quote to my sig. It's been on a post-it on my desktop for quite some time and Chanda used it in her challenge intro. I want to start building the habits I need to push past the fear and start living a full life. I'm really excited about this challenge and this group. I've subscribed to everyone's challenge and I'll start posting soon. Know that I'm thinking of and praying for you guys every chance I get.

Happy adventuring!

[Rebecca150]

Very good question. I had to dig deep with this one.

What is holding me back from living a full life is...lack of resilience in the face of change. I am capable of many great, and grand things. This I know. But I have a hard time maintaining progress. I don't do well in difficult situations and I have a hard time bouncing back from things. It's hard to articulate exactly what is going through my brain here.....But the gist of it is I need to practice maintaining progress through the whirlwind. I have to make my changes stick by focusing on little bits at a time, and making my new habits so automatic that I won't have a choice but to do them!

[SpazzyMal]

What is holding me back from living a full life is... a lack of the backbone it takes to claim my life as my own and not live my life solely to please others, or more specifically not make others angry or disappointed with me. I would rather let others dictate my life rather than push to do things that will truly fulfill me. I don't like to stick my neck out and potentially embarrass myself, either. I also think I am already seen as a bit of a weirdo by the majority of the people I know in real life, and I have a fear of being seen as even more strange. I was also taught from a very early age to do as I'm told far more than to think for myself, and that all ties together in multiple ways that hold me back.

[GallantNerd]

Final member here! Gallant Nerd, at the ready! Lol.

What's holding me back form living a full life is how I prioritize. I make time for things that are unhealthy or just pointless and don't put healthy things like exercising, eating healthy, etc. I also need to strengthen my willpower, as I find myself eating that extra few hundred calories because I love food and can't bring myself to resist, or play those extra hours of video game when I have work I need to do, and so on. If I can prioritize things better and have the willpower to actually follow through with them, I'm sure I'd live a far healthier life.

[Jacqui]

Hey guys! I think I need to add a stretching routine or sequence to my challenge. I walk a lot at work in addition to the morning mile. In the afternoons, my legs get pretty stiff (I have an hour to an hour and a half where I can sit and read but it's tough to get going afterwards ). I wanted to get some advice from my Druid buddies. I thought of trying the Sun Salutation after my mile in the morning. Do you think that's a good one or is there something better? I took a few yoga classes and I really liked them but haven't done much on my own. Also, do you think once a day's good enough or should I do something when I get home from work? Thanks a lot for your help!

[GallantNerd]

I tend to do a lot of walking as well. What I do is try to do the splits for a bit. I'm nowhere near able to actually do them, but trying does get the inner thighs stretched. I then adjust so that I bend one knee and put my weight on it while keeping the other straight (then alternating) which helps me with my inner thighs. I also try and touch my toes with my legs together for my hamstrings, and then stretch my quads by lifting a leg then (using the hand on the same side as the leg) grabbing it and pulling my foot to my rear-end.

I've done some Yoga myself, but I'm a far cry from an expert on it.

[Jacqui]

Thanks Gallant! I got up and tried it right after I read it (I'd just finished my mile). I think I'll try and sneak that in at work too!

[GallantNerd]

Glad to hear it!

[Eridian]

Sorry, I'm a little behind on this, but I wanted to catch up.

What is holding me back from living a full life is... lack of confidence. I'm quite pessimistic and very critical of myself. I always tell myself I'm going to suck at something before I even try it. Sure, constructive criticism is good, but I really think my self-talk falls in the destructive category. (Me: "I'm going to exercise and get fit!" Destructive tendency: "Oh sure. I've never heard that before. Why bother? We both know you'll be on the couch eating Fun Dip in a week." Me: T.T) I've been trying to work on it, but my destructive side tends to tear down any progress I've made whenever I run into a trigger.

[GallantNerd]

Eridian, I know how that can feel. I used to have zero confidence, and the person who put me down the most was myself. I can't really give you too much advice for overcoming that as I'm not even sure how I did it. For me it felt like a switch had been flicked and suddenly I started working on doing things like making better friends, getting into shape, and so on. I think I had hit the point where I was just put up with bullying myself and stood up to the bully.

Anyway, I wish you luck!

[GallantNerd]

I'm a little confused. Isn't this where we go to talk and support each other and the like? How does this work? Do we follow each others challenges?

[Chanda]

I'm a little confused. Isn't this where we go to talk and support each other and the like? How does this work? Do we follow each others challenges?

Sorry, I have been missing in action... it looks like I took on a bit more than I was expecting with my challenge. However, I am committed to this little group. So here is what I am planning to do (and I suggest that you all do the same if you can and have the time):

1. Get as much of your stuff done before you come online, focus in particular on the stuff you want to become a habit. (I have been doing this and I can not tell you what a difference it is making).

2. Follow each others challenges and provide support (I will take the time to go visit each of your challenges tomorrow evening as well as read through this thread a bit more closely).

3. Share what is working for you or ask for advise regarding habits... on this thread.

Now to answer my own question: What is holding me back from living a full life is that I procrastinate. I procrastinate because my expectations for the outcome of any given action are so high that I get overwhelmed and just don't get started. The other reason I delay doing things is when I know exactly what needs to be done and in my mind it is so easy or can be done so quickly that I end up leaving it until the last minute.

And this is where point 1 listed above is really helping me... I am forcing myself to just do it!

[GallantNerd]

Sorry, I have been missing in action... it looks like I took on a bit more than I was expecting with my challenge. However, I am committed to this little group. So here is what I am planning to do (and I suggest that you all do the same if you can and have the time):

1. Get as much of your stuff done before you come online, focus in particular on the stuff you want to become a habit. (I have been doing this and I can not tell you what a difference it is making).

2. Follow each others challenges and provide support (I will take the time to go visit each of your challenges tomorrow evening as well as read through this thread a bit more closely).

3. Share what is working for you or ask for advise regarding habits... on this thread.

Now to answer my own question: What is holding me back from living a full life is that I procrastinate. I procrastinate because my expectations for the outcome of any given action are so high that I get overwhelmed and just don't get started. The other reason I delay doing things is when I know exactly what needs to be done and in my mind it is so easy or can be done so quickly that I end up leaving it until the last minute.

And this is where point 1 listed above is really helping me... I am forcing myself to just do it!

Ah, okay. I wasn't sure, I was starting to think that maybe we signed up as a group so we could follow each other and this thread was just to introduce ourselves. Glad I was wrong

For #1, that's what I've been doing. Unless I know for sure, without a doubt, that I'll do something after posting, I'll wait until it's all finished or the next day

2) Sounds good.

3) Will do

"Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow?" - Jecht, Final Fantasy X.

Procrastination is so hard to overcome. I find, personally, that if I do it first, before I do the fun stuff, that I'll have a much higher chance of doing it. For instance, my 2-mile walk is far easier to do almost right after I wake up, otherwise I'll push it off and may not do it. It's like eating my broccoli before eating my dessert, lol.

Glad to be on board and I look forward to getting to know everyone and working together to achieve our goals

[Jacqui]

Hey Gallant, it turns out I subscribed to the wrong thread for you...lol. I'm subscribed to the right one now and I'm all caught up. I like your goals and it appears you're doing well keeping up with everything.

I know what you mean about replacing bad habits with good ones. I used to play WoW, kind of got bored with that, turned to GW2 and don't even get on there often. I find myself surfing the internet, or checking Facebook 100 times, or email...lol. I still don't know what to do with myself. I just got done with one online Bible study and start another Sunday. I'm enjoying those but find I really need the small-group option to keep focused. I'm glad to see you figured out what you're going to concentrate on.

I'm still using your suggestion on the stretching too. It makes such a huge difference! I really appreciate it.

Well, I'm going to get off here and work on catching up on some magazines I've been ignoring. Have a great night guys!

[TigerTiger]

Whew! Crazy week, just coming back into the forums to reconnect. Boy can I relate to everybody's 'holding back' focus: procrastination, fear (this is a big one for me too), doing things to please others not self, prioritizing well, lack of confidence (often another big one for me). Right now, what's holding me back in my life is energy. Rather, lack of energy. I have lots of great things going on, lots that I want to do, lots that I'm all lined up to do (and worked really hard to line up), and to do it I have to move. Generally, once I'm in motion, I'm good and can focus well and get things accomplished. I used to thing this was a depression thing, but it's not - I'm a pretty happy person. But there is this avoidance thing that happens which derails me. Could be fear. Could be lack of self confidence. Could be sugar. Probably sugar. So I need to maintain this Paleo practice. I'm much more in motion from Paleo. So we're back to the whole 'habits' thing. For me the first step may be a simple as when I get out of bed to stay on my feet. This could then evolve into exercise first thing. But waking up and moving to the couch is a very bad habit of mine that needs fixed. I'll have to ponder this approach today and post some things to try out this week.