gillygirl Posted December 1, 2012 Report Share Posted December 1, 2012 Said over the phone: "Matt, I know you can't see it, but I'm using my girly jedi powers on you, convince mom to let me stay home from school""Baby, your magical portal is glowing again, turn it off" She plays skylanders."Why do they call it clam chowder if its made with chicken?"(not meant to be offensive, her dad is Jewish by descent and I am a Christian, we are divorced. He doesn't practice.) My youngest, she is twelve: "I think when I grow up I'm gonna be a Jew" I say "If you want to hun, that is awesome, let me know we will find someone who can tell you more about it" my oldest daughter says "You know Jews don't believe in Jesus Christ" the youngest replies with "Well screw that then!!!" Eventually I did stop laughing long enough to explain more..."Will you two STOP steeling my spinach!! Make your own." Same goes for artichoke hearts and asparagus.What is heard in yours? 1 Quote [TABLE=width: 500, align: left] [sIGPIC][/sIGPIC] GillyGirl, level 1 Adventurer STR 1|DEX 1|STA 1|CON 3|WIS 5|CHA 4[/TABLE] Link to comment
Maj. Bloodnok Posted December 21, 2012 Report Share Posted December 21, 2012 Son: "What's zero plus zero plus zero plus zero?"Me: "Zero."Son: "Wrong! It's CHICKEN RINGS!"(That's my boy. Weird as snake shoes, but sweet as a stolen kiss.) Quote "If you get into trouble, you can always eat something, blow something up, or throw penguins." - Jim Henson Link to comment
MPK Posted January 11, 2013 Report Share Posted January 11, 2013 My personal favorite was "No Gummi Bears in the humidifier!". 2 Quote Link to comment
Jakob Kopfeld Posted January 18, 2013 Report Share Posted January 18, 2013 Not so much inside the house but still said on the property 'I can totally clear that gap to the next bulding' (about 2m50)Followed closely by: 'Oow Ow OW! Call an ambulance' We didn't, he was fine. But he didn't make the jump 1 Quote Level 4 Human RangerThe only Way to accomplish greatness is to set your goals even higher.STR: 15 || DEX: 9 || STA: 10CON: 12 || WIS: 9 || CHA: 6Check out my challange Thread (4) Link to comment
cracked_belle Posted January 29, 2013 Report Share Posted January 29, 2013 "mooooooooom, the cat fell in the toilet again." and it wasn't so much said as it was done: my dad nearly set our property on fire when we first moved on it. O_o had to call the fire department to control it. 1 Quote just another cracked southern belle, and a specialist in self-kintsukuroi. Current Challenge Accountability: Health & Happiness Are Hard: Wherein the Cracked_Belle Un-Dies Epic Quest: Adventures in Badassery [under construction] Spoiler There is never a sudden revelation, a complete and tidy explanation for why it happened, or why it ends, or why or who you are. You want one and I want one, but there isn't one. It comes in bits and pieces, and you stitch them together wherever they fit, and when you are done you hold yourself up, and still there are holes and you are a rag doll, invented, imperfect. And yet you are all that you have, so you must be enough. There is no other way. ― Marya Hornbacher, Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia Link to comment
cracked_belle Posted January 29, 2013 Report Share Posted January 29, 2013 Son: "What's zero plus zero plus zero plus zero?"Me: "Zero."Son: "Wrong! It's CHICKEN RINGS!"(That's my boy. Weird as snake shoes, but sweet as a stolen kiss.)your kid sounds awesome! Quote just another cracked southern belle, and a specialist in self-kintsukuroi. Current Challenge Accountability: Health & Happiness Are Hard: Wherein the Cracked_Belle Un-Dies Epic Quest: Adventures in Badassery [under construction] Spoiler There is never a sudden revelation, a complete and tidy explanation for why it happened, or why it ends, or why or who you are. You want one and I want one, but there isn't one. It comes in bits and pieces, and you stitch them together wherever they fit, and when you are done you hold yourself up, and still there are holes and you are a rag doll, invented, imperfect. And yet you are all that you have, so you must be enough. There is no other way. ― Marya Hornbacher, Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia Link to comment
Thrillho Posted February 22, 2013 Report Share Posted February 22, 2013 "Dad, pikachu isn't REAL. He's just a cartoon character. Except when I make him real to zap my other toys. Then he's real. But most of the time he isn't." 3 Quote The cancer was aggressive, but the chemotherapy was aggressive, as well. There was aggression on both sides. Link to comment
Kunai Posted February 22, 2013 Report Share Posted February 22, 2013 While cleaning the bedroom and finding a baseball sized rock.Me "Why is there a rock in the bedroom?"GF "I'm not sure, which one did you find?" 2 Quote Height 6'2" Age 26 345/215/435 Strength isn’t just about winning. Even if my attempts are pathetic and comical, and even if I’m covered in the mud of my defeat, if I can keep fighting and look up at the sky as I lie on the ground, that alone is proof of true strength! Haruyuki Arita (Accel World) Link to comment
rrababit Posted August 21, 2013 Report Share Posted August 21, 2013 We have some interesting rules at my house and so newcomers are frequently given the list upon their first visit. These rules include:no dancing with knivesno interpretive dancing at the tableno drinking milkshakes on the roofdon't put your cat on the roofThe list is actually a lot longer, those are just all that come to mind right now- and yes every single one was prompted by an action by a child who was old enough to know better. 5 Quote Link to comment
girljen Posted August 26, 2013 Report Share Posted August 26, 2013 I love this thread so much. All of these are from Liz, my six-year-old. "Mom, I can have a sparkly first day of school if I want to!" (successfully convincing me that sequins, rhinestones, and leopard print are a perfectly fine first-day outfit) "Mom, it's okay. It could be so much worse. It would be worse if you had to clean up barf and then you also spilled your coffee. So, see? This isn't so bad." "If you're happy and you know it, go sit in a corner and think about your life." "These video games aren't gonna play their selves!" I'm sure I can find more...I haven't even gotten into her unauthorized entries on my shopping list. 2 Quote Filled with DETERMINATIONhttps://www.nerdfitness.com/character/64217 Link to comment
Thrillho Posted August 26, 2013 Report Share Posted August 26, 2013 "I'm not allowed to say bad words, except for "What the hell was that?" because Mom says that all the time." 1 Quote The cancer was aggressive, but the chemotherapy was aggressive, as well. There was aggression on both sides. Link to comment
girljen Posted August 26, 2013 Report Share Posted August 26, 2013 "I'm not allowed to say bad words, except for "What the hell was that?" because Mom says that all the time." LOLOL!! One time when Liz was about three, we went to a Christmas party up in the mountains. I was attempting to drive home, sliding all over the place, and I dropped a few f-bombs. Liz piped up from the backseat, "Don't say fuck, Mom! Be brave! Be HAPPY!" 1 Quote Filled with DETERMINATIONhttps://www.nerdfitness.com/character/64217 Link to comment
Jittersthe.Clown Posted August 26, 2013 Report Share Posted August 26, 2013 I overheard this exchange last night between my wife and my 6 year old son while I was starting dinner. He was playing store with my 2 year old daughter:6YO: "Mom, she likes my store, and so should you. Here's why. It's clean, it's got anything you need, and it's run by me. What else could you want?'Wife: "You to not make Bear clean your messes".6YO: "But that's what I pay her for"2YO: "MM's now"He then proceeded to pay her with M&M's... 1 Quote Level 2 Warforged Druid STR: 2, DEX: 1, STA: 3, CON: 3, WIS: 2, CHA: 3 "If these people tell this story to their children as they sleep; then maybe someday they'll see a hero is just a man who knows he is free." Good night and joy be to you all ~Jitters The. Clown Current Challange: New Challenges Ahead! Battle Log: Clowning around daily Past Challenges: Leveling Up PvP Jump Rope Boss Continue? System Failure Systems Online Calling Rush Confirm Reset Select World Select Difficulty, Select Character, Repairs, Press Start, First Timer, Jump Rope PVP Challenge Link to comment
Thrillho Posted August 26, 2013 Report Share Posted August 26, 2013 Eh, I had to dig some out of my old blogs just for nostalgia's sake. Son (Age 5): "I want my underpants made out of candy, so I can eat them when I'm done."Wife: "I don't think you want to eat anything that's touched your bum."Son (Age 5): "Oh, that's a good idea. Ok, normal underpants." Son (Age 5): When my fish die, I can get new fish? Me: Probably, yeah. Son (Age 5): When my dad dies, me and mom will get a new one. Me: Uhm... your dad? Son (Age 5): Yeah, you. When you die, we'll get a new one. Me: Oh. 2 Quote The cancer was aggressive, but the chemotherapy was aggressive, as well. There was aggression on both sides. Link to comment
CrisciMalosh Posted August 27, 2013 Report Share Posted August 27, 2013 My oldest son randomly wanders the house saying "Balls" like when Dr Horrible says it in Dr Horrible's Sing Along Blog. My youngest son's justification for watching "My Little Pony" is "Girls like it, and I like girls. So they will like me." Quote "I was taught that the way of progress was neither swift nor easy." ~~Marie Curie "All great things are simple, and many can be expressed in single words: Freedom, Justice, Honour, Duty, Mercy, Hope. " ~~ Winston Churchill Level 1 Human Druid STR 1 DEX 1 STA 1 CON 2 WIS 3 CHA 2 (yes, human. Boring I know.) Link to comment
Haikoo Posted September 9, 2013 Report Share Posted September 9, 2013 The daughter to one son (they were playing with Lego minis): "They should change hair, don't you think? 'Cause SHE looks more lumberjacky, and she looks more casual. There. That's better." One of the boys: "Mom, how come my butt cheeks are tinier than my hands?" The other boy (upon coming in from outside): "We've had too much outsideness." Also, this is what I was met with when hands and cheeks boy above told me to come look at his tattoos: Quote STR 7.2 | DEX 3.5 | STA 5.8 | CON 8.4 | WIS 5.55 | CHA 5.5 Most Recent Challenge Link to comment
Jittersthe.Clown Posted September 19, 2013 Report Share Posted September 19, 2013 If one were walking past my kitchen window last night, you would have heard this from the mouth of a 6 year old, "Mom, Dad's fighting with the doughnuts again. Can you make him less weird?" All I said to them (doughnuts) was you got nothing on me. Quote Level 2 Warforged Druid STR: 2, DEX: 1, STA: 3, CON: 3, WIS: 2, CHA: 3 "If these people tell this story to their children as they sleep; then maybe someday they'll see a hero is just a man who knows he is free." Good night and joy be to you all ~Jitters The. Clown Current Challange: New Challenges Ahead! Battle Log: Clowning around daily Past Challenges: Leveling Up PvP Jump Rope Boss Continue? System Failure Systems Online Calling Rush Confirm Reset Select World Select Difficulty, Select Character, Repairs, Press Start, First Timer, Jump Rope PVP Challenge Link to comment
Mathieu *Gamer Unleashed* Posted September 19, 2013 Report Share Posted September 19, 2013 I have 2 boys: One will be 3years old next month, the other is 8 month old. This happened last week 8 month was stretching hands to grab my shirt (3y) ''Dad My little brother is using the force on you! you have to fall off your chair!'' Quote Mathieu *Gamer Unleashed*,Level 4 Hobit scoutSTR 8|DEX 5|STA 7|CON 6|WIS 7|CHA 4 Endomondo, Google+, Gamer unleashed's blog, famille-active's blog1rst challenge, 2nd challenge, 3rd challenge, Link to comment
Batgirl Posted September 19, 2013 Report Share Posted September 19, 2013 My Husband: "Billy Zane played the bad guy in Titanic"My 17-year-old daughter: "He played the Iceberg?" 3 Quote I solemnly swear that I am up to no good Secret Identity: Kristy Level 4 Adventurer STR 5.5 | DEX 5.25 | STA 5.5 | CON 8.75 | WIS 7 | CHA 2.5 Spoiler My Fourth Challenge My Third Challenge My Second Challenge My First Challenge Link to comment
Batgirl Posted September 19, 2013 Report Share Posted September 19, 2013 17-year-old daughter's Homework: "Name another famous labyrinth"17-year-old daughter's Answer: "The one surrounding the goblin city where David Bowie lives" 1 Quote I solemnly swear that I am up to no good Secret Identity: Kristy Level 4 Adventurer STR 5.5 | DEX 5.25 | STA 5.5 | CON 8.75 | WIS 7 | CHA 2.5 Spoiler My Fourth Challenge My Third Challenge My Second Challenge My First Challenge Link to comment
StarGazer Posted September 22, 2013 Report Share Posted September 22, 2013 My sister shared this one with my from my nephews. At the time I believe they were 6 and 4. The younger is a button pusher - as in he tries to push peoples buttons to get a reaction from them. Just for the fun of it. He was being a pain and his older brother looked to my sister and said "Mom, what did you have to buy him for anyway?" Proceeded to sigh loudly and follow that up with "I hope you got him on sale." 1 Quote Link to comment
Thrillho Posted September 22, 2013 Report Share Posted September 22, 2013 "Can we go to Mexico, so [youngest daughter] can have another mom?" ... I didn't even ask for clarification on that one. 1 Quote The cancer was aggressive, but the chemotherapy was aggressive, as well. There was aggression on both sides. Link to comment
OwainTheBarbarian Posted September 24, 2013 Report Share Posted September 24, 2013 Son: *sniffle* Me: ... Son: *cough* Son: *hack* Me: ... Me: Are you sick? Son: No, I'm two! Quote "...and before you ask, no, I don't." Link to comment
Mathieu *Gamer Unleashed* Posted September 29, 2013 Report Share Posted September 29, 2013 happened yesterday Son ( almost 3 y old ) : What's for supper? Me: Warps Son: I don't want to eat Wargs Me: No it is a Warp and that's it for diner Son: You'r confuse, wargs are in the TV with Gouloun, And I don't like wargs!! Quote Mathieu *Gamer Unleashed*,Level 4 Hobit scoutSTR 8|DEX 5|STA 7|CON 6|WIS 7|CHA 4 Endomondo, Google+, Gamer unleashed's blog, famille-active's blog1rst challenge, 2nd challenge, 3rd challenge, Link to comment
49er Posted October 16, 2013 Report Share Posted October 16, 2013 Harry is a 12 yo boy who knows all about where meat comes from:we're driving I say: "look, Harry a Pig truckHarry:"Where are they taking all those pigs?"Me: "to slaughter, you know that's where pork comes from."Harry: "Why did you have to say that?Me: "It's reality"Harry: "Well, reality can wait!" Quote Link to comment
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