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Kishi

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So! Went to the kickboxing place yesterday. This time there was a coach there and we had an actual class. He took me through the basics until I was able to demonstrate I had a pretty good grasp. He initially tried to guide me through roundhouse until I began to whip through the pads, at which point he was just like, "Ah. This one knows what he's doing."

 

To be clear, I'm a little rusty and there's some stuff that they did that I had a harder time keeping up with - they practiced switch kicks and they also really emphasize kicking with the leg opposite of the hand you just threw. It's totally legit, but I'm used to kicking same side and using the pull of the hand to generate power. So that's something I have to work on. They're also bigger on clinch work here, which I haven't substantially touched in... years.

 

But I know jab cross hook, and I can throw kicks. I think we can get along. :) And, they aren't trying to be some damn fitness class on top of the training - they let class time be class time and let us do S&C on our own time.

 

The coach didn't know the price for kickboxing either. So that's two free classes I have now. Nobody's complaining. :D The coach said that the guy who owns the school has actually been trying to drop his prices which is the reason it's not on the site, which is encouraging. He mentioned something like $115 as the price, which, I mean, if that winds up being for everything, then dude. I have to sign up for that. That's just too good.

 

Anyway, blind date tonight. Shaved my head and trimmed my beard. I guess we'll see how this goes.

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So! How'd the date go?

 

I think it went okay. :) Don't have enough practice to say, but I think it went okay.

 

The plan had originally been for us to go to check out this anime store that's opened up near the gaming store. We'd geek out over fandom and then maybe get some ice cream afterward at a local place.

 

That plan backfired when we realized that we were getting together about 19:00 which was right when that store closed. So we had to improvise. She didn't really know any places offhand, so I wound up recommending the Barcade, which she'd never been to. I figured if we didn't connect in conversation we'd at least have something to cover with.

 

This did not wind up being a problem. We met at the Barcade and after working to draw her out a little bit we settled into conversation. It was all surface-level stuff - work, school, fandom, hobbies, stuff like that - and 3 hours passed by like it was nothing. I walked her back to her car. Wanted to hug her, but didn't - I thought I saw something in her body language that would welcome it but I didn't want to come on too strong.

 

But she said she'd like to go see the Night Market next Thursday, so unless something happens between here and there, I'd say it worked out. :)

 

Anyway. Back to the regular schedule for tonight. Kickboxing and weightlifting. Sweet. Let's get it.

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17 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Congrats man! Now that you know you both want to hang out together, the only goal for the Night Market next Thursday is for you both to have fun :) 

 

That is the idea. Or at least it would be. I just found out that they aren't having Night Market again until 9/12, so looks like next Thursday isn't a go. She'd mentioned some other stuff she might be interested in so I texted her yesterday and I guess we'll see where it goes.

 

16 hours ago, Mistr said:

Great news on both kickboxing and enjoying meeting a new friend!

 

I certainly think so!

 

*

 

Thursday done!

 

Kickboxing happened. I think it's safe to declare myself rusty. All this time spent babysitting kids and not being able to punch people in the face has definitely left me with some bad habits that I need to get rid of. But on the bright side, it's nice to know that there's progress to be made and stuff to learn. Everyone was really friendly and patient with me, and I like them all a great deal.

 

Still haven't paid anything for it yet.

 

Got a call from the BJJ coach afterward; he apparently was given the impression that I'd been waiting up for him at the Open Mats these past couple weeks, and he was trying to apologize. I had to reassure him that I hadn't been - because I wasn't - and that there was no bad blood. It was nice of him to be concerned, but unnecessary; it seems that he got that idea from the other two-stripe white belt who rolled with me last week. Bah. I must have communicated something wrong.

 

Strength training happened afterward. I wasn't able to do my twists for obliques as that area of the gym was occupied, so I went and did side planks instead. The yoga has helped - I'm way better at feeling that stuff than I was before, and I was able to do a "star" plank, supporting myself on my side with the off hand and leg lifted. (I don't actually know what that version of it is called, but hopefully that gives you a picture). Part of me is kind of tempted to go back to side lever work and the larger part of me is like "Don't do that." After all, the work I've been doing for the past 10-some odd weeks is probably what gave me the strength I have now. Sure would be a shame to change it up.

 

Today is Friday. Awesome~. Got a couple different fight events to do tonight - both dojo are hosting open mats; one will be for striking, and one will be for grappling. I'm going to try to hit both; I'd also like to see if I can get out early for Reasons (mostly pertaining to getting beer in the fridge for after grappling Open Mat as I've been trying to offload this for a while, and also being able to grab some food for between the events).

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1 hour ago, Kishi said:

That is the idea. Or at least it would be. I just found out that they aren't having Night Market again until 9/12, so looks like next Thursday isn't a go. She'd mentioned some other stuff she might be interested in so I texted her yesterday and I guess we'll see where it goes.

 

If it's meant to be, it'll be--well, not effortless--but natural, not a struggle to set stuff up. You know? 

 

1 hour ago, Kishi said:

Kickboxing happened. I think it's safe to declare myself rusty. All this time spent babysitting kids and not being able to punch people in the face has definitely left me with some bad habits that I need to get rid of. But on the bright side, it's nice to know that there's progress to be made and stuff to learn. Everyone was really friendly and patient with me, and I like them all a great deal.

 

Still haven't paid anything for it yet.

 

Got a call from the BJJ coach afterward; he apparently was given the impression that I'd been waiting up for him at the Open Mats these past couple weeks, and he was trying to apologize. I had to reassure him that I hadn't been - because I wasn't - and that there was no bad blood. It was nice of him to be concerned, but unnecessary; it seems that he got that idea from the other two-stripe white belt who rolled with me last week. Bah. I must have communicated something wrong.

 

Just over here like, this is so much better than where you were a year ago.

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10 minutes ago, Urgan said:

If it's meant to be, it'll be--well, not effortless--but natural, not a struggle to set stuff up. You know? 

 

I think I do. And that's part of what's tempering my expectations on this. She doesn't make it easy to set stuff up - like I'll text her and she just won't respond. (not that I'm being stalkerish by bombarding her with texts, mind, but I did text her yesterday when I figured out what was up and she still hasn't got back to me). And I almost got the feeling when I was setting up the Barcade that she was looking for a reason not to come out? Like I asked her if she was looking for to do anything and she said she didn't have anything in mind, and then I threw a bunch of stuff out before remembering the Barcade. She responded real quick then (although I'm not really sure if it was the barcade what did it or what).

 

I mean, just to be clear, it's not like I'm expecting prompt responses. Life happens, and I get that. But this just makes it feel like I'm putting out a lot of effort for someone who doesn't seem to want reciprocate.

 

I dunno. Is this normal?

 

20 minutes ago, Urgan said:

Just over here like, this is so much better than where you were a year ago.

 

Yeah. Everything is so much lower stress as far as the hobbies go. It's nice.

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1 minute ago, Kishi said:

I think I do. And that's part of what's tempering my expectations on this. She doesn't make it easy to set stuff up - like I'll text her and she just won't respond. (not that I'm being stalkerish by bombarding her with texts, mind, but I did text her yesterday when I figured out what was up and she still hasn't got back to me). And I almost got the feeling when I was setting up the Barcade that she was looking for a reason not to come out? Like I asked her if she was looking for to do anything and she said she didn't have anything in mind, and then I threw a bunch of stuff out before remembering the Barcade. She responded real quick then (although I'm not really sure if it was the barcade what did it or what).

 

I mean, just to be clear, it's not like I'm expecting prompt responses. Life happens, and I get that. But this just makes it feel like I'm putting out a lot of effort for someone who doesn't seem to want reciprocate.

 

I dunno. Is this normal?

 

I'm going to preface this with people can have really weird schedules, stuff does come up, etc. I'm sure there will be times when your activities will conflict with a date and you've put off training X for way too long.

 

Often times when people have these situations come up, they will explain it and it'll all make sense and rock on. However, if you feel like you are driving the conversation whenever meeting comes up....might try slowing down a little and see what they do. A little wait-see. Now you've just had one date and it's not a ton of time to make a case. You may be really excited and she may be playing it cool. That's fine, just chill and see what she does. You should be able to detect some interest in some combination of what you tell her about yourself, facilitating future dates, and/or offering things about herself--if you can't see any of that inside of two weeks, red flag.

 

I will say that if a week or two goes by and you feel like you are still completely driving the conversation when it comes to meeting....that is a really good sign she isn't about that life. Most people won't out and cut you off honestly. Hurt feelings and whatnot. They'll slow down or stop their responses. Don't try to force it, it'll end up upsetting you or hacking her off (if you were to get text-happy, but it doesn't sound like you are--I'm sure you're well aware, but desperation reeks). Well then how do I handle it? you may wonder. Just treat it like you're trying to arrange a hang-out with your friends or brother. It's no different at this stage, with even less commitment actually. First two dates you don't owe one another diddly. (I know it doesn't feel like that at ALL, but when they say follow your heart just know it's lying about how to handle first dates, lying). 

 

$.02 and all that.

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55 minutes ago, Kishi said:

I mean, just to be clear, it's not like I'm expecting prompt responses. Life happens, and I get that. But this just makes it feel like I'm putting out a lot of effort for someone who doesn't seem to want reciprocate.

 

I dunno. Is this normal?

 

You don't have any way to know what is happening on her end. Maybe she lost her phone. Maybe her service is being screwy and she hasn't even seen the message yet (this has happened to me). Maybe she is trying to free up her schedule to go and do the thing with you. She may be dealing with a crisis at work and just not have the bandwidth. There are a lot of decent reasons why a person may take time to respond. Or she could be lukewarm on wanting to see you. As Urgan said, you just have to wait and see. Too soon to make any conclusions.

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26 minutes ago, Urgan said:

 

I'm going to preface this with people can have really weird schedules, stuff does come up, etc. I'm sure there will be times when your activities will conflict with a date and you've put off training X for way too long.

 

Often times when people have these situations come up, they will explain it and it'll all make sense and rock on. However, if you feel like you are driving the conversation whenever meeting comes up....might try slowing down a little and see what they do. A little wait-see. Now you've just had one date and it's not a ton of time to make a case. You may be really excited and she may be playing it cool. That's fine, just chill and see what she does. You should be able to detect some interest in some combination of what you tell her about yourself, facilitating future dates, and/or offering things about herself--if you can't see any of that inside of two weeks, red flag.

 

I will say that if a week or two goes by and you feel like you are still completely driving the conversation when it comes to meeting....that is a really good sign she isn't about that life. Most people won't out and cut you off honestly. Hurt feelings and whatnot. They'll slow down or stop their responses. Don't try to force it, it'll end up upsetting you or hacking her off (if you were to get text-happy, but it doesn't sound like you are--I'm sure you're well aware, but desperation reeks). Well then how do I handle it? you may wonder. Just treat it like you're trying to arrange a hang-out with your friends or brother. It's no different at this stage, with even less commitment actually. First two dates you don't owe one another diddly. (I know it doesn't feel like that at ALL, but when they say follow your heart just know it's lying about how to handle first dates, lying). 

 

$.02 and all that.

 

1 minute ago, Mistr said:

 

You don't have any way to know what is happening on her end. Maybe she lost her phone. Maybe her service is being screwy and she hasn't even seen the message yet (this has happened to me). Maybe she is trying to free up her schedule to go and do the thing with you. She may be dealing with a crisis at work and just not have the bandwidth. There are a lot of decent reasons why a person may take time to respond. Or she could be lukewarm on wanting to see you. As Urgan said, you just have to wait and see. Too soon to make any conclusions.

 

Well, FWIW, I am excited. But I'm also trying to be considerate. I know she's busy and I don't want to put her in a position where she tries to make one set of plans and then, oh no, it was for nothing. I could see how something like that would come off as being desperate (which I'm not - hence the lack of extra texts), but really it's more my complexes around being a people pleaser and wanting to communicate and be transparent and all that.

 

Anyway, if she winds up ghosting me in text or something, I guess that'll be answer enough. Either way, nothing to do but wait and get comfy with the discomfort.

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Friday done!

 

Not much to say about it. The girl got back to me, and I decided to just chill on things for a bit and keep focused on me and my pursuits; try to see this as us passing notes to each other rather than having lines of instant access.

 

The plan was to hit up a couple different fight nights, but the striking one cancelled as Ky-sensei is going overseas for a trip and I guess needed time to pack. Wound up at the other dojo instead. This time we had four bodies on the mats including the coach. Instead of us working through time limits we decided to go ahead and just marathon things for a while. So roll with a partner until you feel like switching.

 

We didn't feel like switching much. I got to roll with that wily one-stripe I've mentioned before and helped him to sub me for the first time and then spent the rest of the night with the coach. There were good things in the game and some things to work on, but on the whole I had a pretty strong performance. Good stuff. :)

 

Hit Q&D today. Numbers rolled on the higher end, but that's okay. Happens from time to time. I'mma get some food in me and then I mean to go hit up some extra practice - probably skipping rope and walking. Oh, and I need to get some work done on the side gig. Talked with the last person I hadn't mentioned my problems to and she said she knew and not to worry about it. That's a good feeling.

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Extra practice didn't happen. It turned out that I had a lot of side gig work to do - freaking finally, I've been waiting for stuff to do - and some of that led to me talking with the friend of mine who's moved up to ME for her nursing work. It was ostensibly a business call, but we wound up talking and catching up as you do and that took time. It looks now like I'm planning to go up to visit on 10/31; that led me to logistics and trying to figure out what's going on financially and whoa buddy there's some darkness in the books that I didn't see coming. Also, them travel rewards aren't anywhere near as helpful as I thought they'd be.

 

Looks like there's some stuff I gotta get rid of again and I hate to say it but I think the gym's gotta be one of 'em. There's just not a lot of other stuff to cut.

 

Unfortunately, this makes a problem for the program I was following, as it requires a deadlift and going back to calisthenics doesn't really present me with any straight equivalents. Most of the research I've done focuses on pistols, bridges, and back levers as substitutes, which is compelling but I'm only really strong enough to do, like, one of the three.

 

However, in going back over my calisthenics resources, I was able to find that I can do some of the CC progressions even more strongly than I used to. So I think there's some potential in that, especially as there are programs and variants that track really well with the Strongfirst program I was doing. So, probably going to go back to some version of that and keep Q&D and kettlebells in the mix for flavor.

 

With all that being said, Sunday was a good day. Mostly just futzed about and wound up at BJJ. Got to work on guard passes and even managed to do one in randori, which was fun.

 

Today, gaming and calisthenic assessments, which will ultimately function as a deload. Not sure what's going on with gaming tonight as a couple people are already saying they won't make it.

 

Ah well. We'll roll with it.

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50 minutes ago, Kishi said:

Extra practice didn't happen. It turned out that I had a lot of side gig work to do - freaking finally, I've been waiting for stuff to do - and some of that led to me talking with the friend of mine who's moved up to ME for her nursing work.

I didn't initially realize you were using an abbreviation for a state and wondered how the friend was going to do nursing work on you.

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1 minute ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I didn't initially realize you were using an abbreviation for a state and wondered how the friend was going to do nursing work on you.

 

LOL, yeah, I had a feeling that might happen, but I had to be quick with the update. :D

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8 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I didn't initially realize you were using an abbreviation for a state and wondered how the friend was going to do nursing work on you.

 

7 minutes ago, Kishi said:

 

LOL, yeah, I had a feeling that might happen, but I had to be quick with the update. :D

 

Which is better than interpreting it as Windows ME. Talk about a dark place.....

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Tuesday! Day of Tues!

 

Tue being a singular, obviously, and the spell check on this computer isn't correcting, so it must be that way somewhere.

 

But we had Monday first. And Monday was good. My "immediate supervisor" who's been staring over my shoulder for the past couple of weeks is off on break, but I'm pleased to say that a lot of the fixes he taught me about seem to have taken hold. So work was productive.

 

Gaming was me and a couple folks, so we decided to run a quick game of Quick-xalted, which is Exalted without a lot of the rules and added dice tricks. It was still complicated enough, although that might have been me at the end of the day. Not sure. Exalted is one of those games where the setting and concept is awesome and the rules are insane, and for all that I love it I might just not be a very good player for that game.

 

Went back home and worked on CC. Push Ups went fine, can progress to step 2. Ab work killed me though, in a good way. No finisher right now since this is kind of a deload period for me; these will probably start again next week.

 

Tonight will be kickboxing and I'm not sure what else. Might honestly do nothing, although I could also do some yoga and be cool with it.

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Wound up kickboxing and not doing much else. It was only an hour, but we had some hard sparring at the end and I felt like I was dying of hunger when all was said and done. Finally got to go with someone who's taller than me who had quick hands and a good jab. He presented a few problems to solve and will continue to, but I was able to corner him at the end and keep him from getting out.

 

Ate a nasty leg kick over the course of the night, but for all the struggle, I feel like I'm getting sharper again, and that makes it all worth it. And everyone remains super cool. The coach reads the Stoics; I was able to get into some of that with him and we were all talking and joking at the end of it.

 

Anyway, like I said, end of the night I felt super hungry. I think, if I mean to do things after this training, that I'm going to have to have some food to eat to keep me going. Which isn't always necessary, mind, but at the very least I'm going to have to have food on hand for tomorrow since I'll be doing strength work after kickboxing. Because Friday is open mat, and beer is done at the end of that. Can't just go and bust out some inverted rows after something like that. :)

 

But those are problems for the next couple days. Tonight should be sci-fi and chill. Unless it isn't; if it opens up, the BJJ coach has said he'd be open to some garage rolling, so if I get word that we're off tonight, I could be on for something else.

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Wednesday night was pretty chill. No sci-fi to speak of, but a lot of drinking and hanging out and catching up on life. Good times. Also, apparently we're getting together on Friday? Not sure.

 

The girl and I are getting together on Saturday, looks like, which will be fun, I think. Glad I decided to step back and cool down a bit.

 

Tonight, kickboxing and strength work, because there's going to be alcohol tomorrow one way or another and night training doesn't make a good mixer.

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Kickboxing and strength work happened! Some good stuff and some stuff that needs to be worked on. We got into a lot of combo work and during sparring I wanted to focus on leg checks, which is precisely what I did. Put on a way better showing on some people than I did the first time I went with them. I'm beginning to feel sharp again. :)

 

Got some food in me and then went home and practiced some Convict Conditioning. Practiced inverted rows and squats. Inverted rows did worse than I thought they would; squats did better than I thought they would. I can do squats now with my feet a handspan apart. That's pretty cool. Couldn't do that before.

 

I woke up this morning and ran my measurements. Most notable thing about it is that my Adonis Index crossed 1.4 for the first time I can remember. Waist measurement was down below 36 for the first time that I can remember seeing in a long time, and the shoulders are a bit broader than they used to be. Neat. So, naturally, I'm going to ruin it with beer and video games tonight. :D My friend wants to hang out and be sociable since his wife is having a girl's night, so I figured I'd join him. Not sure where we're going yet. Bet it'll be awesome either way.

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12 minutes ago, Kishi said:

I woke up this morning and ran my measurements. Most notable thing about it is that my Adonis Index crossed 1.4 for the first time I can remember. Waist measurement was down below 36 for the first time that I can remember seeing in a long time, and the shoulders are a bit broader than they used to be. Neat. So, naturally, I'm going to ruin it with beer and video games tonight. :D My friend wants to hang out and be sociable since his wife is having a girl's night, so I figured I'd join him. Not sure where we're going yet. Bet it'll be awesome either way.

 

giphy.gif

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On ‎8‎/‎23‎/‎2019 at 11:12 AM, Urgan said:

 

giphy.gif

 

It looks like it's gonna be okay, right up until it isn't. :D

 

*

 

So wound up hanging out with my friend instead of doing open mat, which looks to have been cancelled anyway between the coach not being there and the other student not being there either. So we went out for dinner before hitting up the barcade where we played games together and then got out early since we're old men. :P

 

Next day was the second date with the girl, and to save y'all the suspense, we decided we're better as friends. We went together to that anime joint that we'd wanted to check out - they had a lot of cool stuff there, including themed scented candles - and hit up a comic shop afterward. It was a hang out and talk kind of thing, and we talked about things we liked a lot. Afterward we went out to lunch and we hung out. I tried to engage with her on a few non-fandom things, tried to open up about myself a bit more in terms of my whys, and I didn't get anything back from her in the same way. Just a lot of surface-level stuff and not a lot in terms of deeper thought about what she was doing or why she was doing it.

 

Towards the end, I asked her where we were going next, and she said she didn't know, and I decided I was done. It felt like I was putting a lot of effort into getting to know someone who didn't really want to know me, and I decided that was a waste of time I could spend doing something else. I told her when she decided that she knew, she knew where to find me. (and I was nice about it! Just so we're clear). I walked her back to her car and that was that.

 

Of course, I imagine there'll be fallout for that today, as one of the dudes at the gaming table is her brother. Oh well. Can't be helped.

 

Q&D happened. Didn't get to hit it up fasted, so less endurance benefit and more power benefit instead. Still. Benefit is benefit. Caught up on some anime I'd missed and started in on a new show, Demon Hunter, which is super good. Lot of good music and the fight animation is top notch. What's really notable about this show, though, is the empathy of it - demons in this universe are humans that are changed into monsters, and while they're definitely at a point where they need to be killed, you do often get to see their motivations and what led them to where they are. The protagonist, for his part, is an essentially kind and caring person, to the point that he'll hold hands with the demons as they die.

 

So in a way, it kind of reminds me of a mix of Magi and Akame Ga Kill, except that's not quite right because AGK's attempts at empathy and understanding came off as hamfisted and weak, and the violence way more gratuitous and sloppy. Unlike in Magi, where you have genuinely few bad guys but rather you have a lot of good people who make bad decisions that you can kind of see as being the reasonable thing to have done.

 

Anyway. It's good. If you're into that kind of thing, you should watch it.

 

Sunday I spent doing chores and listening to a livestream of the complete works of William Shakespeare, as you do. BJJ went well afterward; kept working on guard passes and escapes. Remembered them well enough to do them during the teaching portion, but couldn't quite hit them in randori. Did, however, manage to tap out all the other white belts. Hope to God I'm not becoming That Guy.

 

Anyway, tonight should be gaming, and I think should be Convict Conditioning? Will have to check my notes. But yeah. The beat goes on.

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Side note, this is why I suck at dating. It takes me easily four months to know if I'm compatible enough with someone to date them. (I mean, it takes me several months to research and convince myself of an appliance purchase. Ain't no way I'm going to take less than that to decide on the person who's going to learn all my blackmail material and stick their tongue in my mouth.) Someone I've met twice is just getting to "I'm starting to learn their name" status. I could never do the second date ultimatum.

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21 minutes ago, sarakingdom said:

Side note, this is why I suck at dating. It takes me easily four months to know if I'm compatible enough with someone to date them. (I mean, it takes me several months to research and convince myself of an appliance purchase. Ain't no way I'm going to take less than that to decide on the person who's going to learn all my blackmail material and stick their tongue in my mouth.) Someone I've met twice is just getting to "I'm starting to learn their name" status. I could never do the second date ultimatum.

 

I can sympathize with that. I dunno. I mean, it would have been one thing if I got a sense that she wanted to keep meeting, but like... I didn't? Like when I asked her where we were going, if she'd said something like "I don't know, but I like you enough to hang out with you and find out," that would have been different from "I don't know" and then blank. As it was, it felt like I was a person to put up with rather than a person she wanted to spend time with.

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34 minutes ago, Kishi said:

I can sympathize with that. I dunno. I mean, it would have been one thing if I got a sense that she wanted to keep meeting, but like... I didn't? Like when I asked her where we were going, if she'd said something like "I don't know, but I like you enough to hang out with you and find out," that would have been different from "I don't know" and then blank. As it was, it felt like I was a person to put up with rather than a person she wanted to spend time with.

 

Sometimes we don't know the answer until it's blindingly obvious. I think back to some of the people I dated a bit, had I been pushed to give a status, "I don't know" would have been my default answer, too. Given we'd gone on at most 2-3 dates, see? Thinking back to dating my husband, I don't think I'd have had a magical answer at that point for him, either. I was excited to learn more about him, but not excited to put a label on It, ya know? Not sure if she was giving you The Hint that this wasn't working for her or if she's just Inoffensively Not Sure?

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