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Kishi

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6 minutes ago, Urgan said:

 

Sometimes we don't know the answer until it's blindingly obvious. I think back to some of the people I dated a bit, had I been pushed to give a status, "I don't know" would have been my default answer, too. Given we'd gone on at most 2-3 dates, see? Thinking back to dating my husband, I don't think I'd have had a magical answer at that point for him, either. I was excited to learn more about him, but not excited to put a label on It, ya know? Not sure if she was giving you The Hint that this wasn't working for her or if she's just Inoffensively Not Sure?

 

Honestly, the bolded element was the part that I felt was missing. She just didn't seem like she was excited to learn more about me. I'm not sure how much of that is my fault in terms of how I comported myself versus her lack of interest, but that seems to be it.

 

And also? I hate to say it, but she wasn't that interesting to me either. I'm not going to badmouth her here on the internet or anything like that, but there just wasn't a lot there to keep me coming back.

 

13 minutes ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

I haven’t been around much; Q&D = Quick & Dirty? How do you like it so far?

 

Q&D = The Quick and the Dead. I like it a lot. I've never actually tried to get endurance benefit off of power work before, so it's a fun experiment for me.

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Just now, Kishi said:

And also? I hate to say it, but she wasn't that interesting to me either. I'm not going to badmouth her here on the internet or anything like that, but there just wasn't a lot there to keep me coming back.

Honestly, the part you put in italics is all that's important. If you're not interested, it doesn't matter what she feels. Conversely, if she's not interested, it wouldn't matter what you feel. As it is, you didn't want to continue, but asking for a definition of where it was going was you trying to let her down easy without realizing that was what you were doing. The fact that you hate to say you weren't interested shows you don't feel like your opinions and feelings are as valid as hers. It's ok for a person to realize they aren't interested in another person. It's not a judgement against the second person, just an honest admission of how the first person feels.

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1 hour ago, Kishi said:

Like when I asked her where we were going, if she'd said something like "I don't know, but I like you enough to hang out with you and find out," that would have been different from "I don't know" and then blank.

 

I'd like to suggest that the question you actually were looking for the answer to was, "how is this going for you right now". That's a very different question from, "where are we going". The former is what she thinks the current state of things is, and how she feels about you. The latter is a request that she commit to a future course of action that she genuinely may not have the information to respond to.

 

Honestly, my gut reaction to being asked "where is this relationship going" after meeting twice would be, "either you don't know you're pressuring me with a hard sell to commit, or you're deliberately using a PUA tactic to 'next level' things quickly, and either way, I'm noping out of this conversation as fast as I can." It wouldn't be everyone's gut reaction, for sure. But it would set a lot of warning lights going for me; honestly, if I were on her side of this exchange, I'd probably think you were someone trying to get laid as fast as possible (which I know you're not) and you dropped me because I wasn't ready to sleep with you fast enough. (Especially between the second and third date. There's all that cultural baggage about the third date being the one you have sex on; she might even have literally thought you were asking if you guys were on track for date three being the sex date, and been like, "uhhh".)

 

"How is this going for you", on the other hand, I'd be all, "oh, generally it's going like this, and I'm not sure about this stuff, but I feel this way about you, and I'd like to do this about it". Because that's a question where I'd be all, "oh, he cares what I think and how I feel about this, that's a really good sign". While I personally get the exact opposite from "where are we going".

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3 minutes ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

Oops. That’s what I meant. I was looking at it this weekend. I think I’ll order the book but on payday.

 

Do it, dude. It's worth it.

 

30 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Honestly, the part you put in italics is all that's important. If you're not interested, it doesn't matter what she feels. Conversely, if she's not interested, it wouldn't matter what you feel. As it is, you didn't want to continue, but asking for a definition of where it was going was you trying to let her down easy without realizing that was what you were doing. The fact that you hate to say you weren't interested shows you don't feel like your opinions and feelings are as valid as hers. It's ok for a person to realize they aren't interested in another person. It's not a judgement against the second person, just an honest admission of how the first person feels.

 

Yeah, pretty much. My complexes about the validity of my feelings and opinions aside, reality was, she wasn't someone I was really interested in pursuing in that way. She seemed to like me well enough when we were together, but she didn't seem to want to be there with me either, you know? And there never seemed to be a place where I could invite her to that she would want to go to and... yeah.

 

1 hour ago, sarakingdom said:

 

I'd like to suggest that the question you actually were looking for the answer to was, "how is this going for you right now". That's a very different question from, "where are we going". The former is what she thinks the current state of things is, and how she feels about you. The latter is a request that she commit to a future course of action that she genuinely may not have the information to respond to.

 

Honestly, my gut reaction to being asked "where is this relationship going" after meeting twice would be, "either you don't know you're pressuring me with a hard sell to commit, or you're deliberately using a PUA tactic to 'next level' things quickly, and either way, I'm noping out of this conversation as fast as I can." It wouldn't be everyone's gut reaction, for sure. But it would set a lot of warning lights going for me; honestly, if I were on her side of this exchange, I'd probably think you were someone trying to get laid as fast as possible (which I know you're not) and you dropped me because I wasn't ready to sleep with you fast enough. (Especially between the second and third date. There's all that cultural baggage about the third date being the one you have sex on; she might even have literally thought you were asking if you guys were on track for date three being the sex date, and been like, "uhhh".)

 

"How is this going for you", on the other hand, I'd be all, "oh, generally it's going like this, and I'm not sure about this stuff, but I feel this way about you, and I'd like to do this about it". Because that's a question where I'd be all, "oh, he cares what I think and how I feel about this, that's a really good sign". While I personally get the exact opposite from "where are we going".

 

That's a damned good point. I don't keep up with PUA stuff so I don't really know what the tactics and strategies are. I hadn't thought of it that way, and while I suspect that the answer would have turned out the same in either event, that's definitely something I need to remember.

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1 hour ago, sarakingdom said:

Honestly, my gut reaction to being asked "where is this relationship going" after meeting twice would be, "either you don't know you're pressuring me with a hard sell to commit, or you're deliberately using a PUA tactic to 'next level' things quickly, and either way, I'm noping out of this conversation as fast as I can." It wouldn't be everyone's gut reaction, for sure. But it would set a lot of warning lights going for me; honestly, if I were on her side of this exchange, I'd probably think you were someone trying to get laid as fast as possible (which I know you're not) and you dropped me because I wasn't ready to sleep with you fast enough. (Especially between the second and third date. There's all that cultural baggage about the third date being the one you have sex on; she might even have literally thought you were asking if you guys were on track for date three being the sex date, and been like, "uhhh".)

 

Agree 100%.

 

I think a lot of the more innocent interpretations of it is the guy is super desperate and hopeful I'll say I want to keep this thing--never-you-mind whatever this thing actually is-- going and when push comes to shove if I feel pressure to make a decision it's gonna be a "no" from me, chief. And we're assuming away the entirely obvious possibility that the reason he's hopeful/desperate is to get into the pants. A pity so many people are so insecure about "losing him" (losing what, exactly?) that this tactic is successful. 

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12 hours ago, Kishi said:

Next day was the second date with the girl, and to save y'all the suspense, we decided we're better as friends. We went together to that anime joint that we'd wanted to check out - they had a lot of cool stuff there, including themed scented candles - and hit up a comic shop afterward. It was a hang out and talk kind of thing, and we talked about things we liked a lot. Afterward we went out to lunch and we hung out. I tried to engage with her on a few non-fandom things, tried to open up about myself a bit more in terms of my whys, and I didn't get anything back from her in the same way. Just a lot of surface-level stuff and not a lot in terms of deeper thought about what she was doing or why she was doing it.

 

Towards the end, I asked her where we were going next, and she said she didn't know, and I decided I was done. It felt like I was putting a lot of effort into getting to know someone who didn't really want to know me, and I decided that was a waste of time I could spend doing something else. I told her when she decided that she knew, she knew where to find me. (and I was nice about it! Just so we're clear). I walked her back to her car and that was that.

 

Of course, I imagine there'll be fallout for that today, as one of the dudes at the gaming table is her brother. Oh well. Can't be helped.

 

I'm sorry it didn't work out, but better to find out now rather than later.   

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11 hours ago, Jupiter said:

 

I'm sorry it didn't work out, but better to find out now rather than later.   

 

Right? Two dates is better than two years. :D

 

*

 

So, no fallout yet. Dude wasn't at gaming last night. So, nothing to justify. Cool.

 

Went and strength-trained afterward. Put up some better numbers than I was expecting, which is always fun. :) After that was bed and sleep.

 

Today should be kickboxing and I think I'm going to hit up the second Q&D tonight. It'll mean more power benefit rather than endurance benefit, but I just don't seem to have the time for much else these days and, well, being well-rested is more useful for training purposes anyway. So.

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20 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

To be fair, even if Dude were there, the only thing you would need to say is "it didn't work out."

 

Yeah, fair.

 

*

 

Kickboxing and second Q&D happened! It was a good training night, lot of things went the way I wanted them to.

 

Kickboxing was focused on getting off the line and controlling movement. I wasn't quite able to put it together in sparring afterward, but I managed to bait and switch the one guy I was able to go with. Played defense until he got tired and then blasted him. It was satisfying; I felt like Lyoto Machida. :D

 

Q&D happened afterward and it was good. You roll dice to determine your numbers and the numbers came up good and fun this time. Power work done Soviet-style is just... enjoyable.

 

Anyway, today is a rest day. I'm off to hang with friends and stuff tonight; drinking is likely and training doesn't chase well.

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Wednesday night happened. As the prophecy foretold.

 

Mostly it was eating homemade Poke bowls and drinking homemade whisky. Dude made a batch which is very maple and very sweet for what it is. Read as: very dangerous. :D

 

I talked about life and things not working out with the girl and as we talked, something came out of me that I hadn't really expected: that the best thing about this was realizing how little I had to give up to be a dating person. Part of my self talk for a while has been that I'm too busy to date, and that I'd have to put so much of my training on hold and to make all this room for another person. And that really didn't turn out to be the case at all. Perhaps other people will require different degrees of investment, but it's a variable rather than a constant, and the truth is, I can still be the me I am and also be this person who goes on dates and becomes invested more closely in the lives of others.

 

And that's pretty neat. :)

 

Also dug into some of my programming in terms of feeling the pressure to have a commitment of some kind by the 3rd date, which it turns out is very much a hallmark of the religious culture I grew up in. Gonna have to dispense with that, I think.

 

Anyway. I reckon I might have to start looking for some good headshots of me or something. In the meantime, kickboxing and strength work today. I've been digging into the Atos complex per @Machete's recorded experiences and it's a good single KB complex to use for finishers. So, slowly but steadily, I'm getting back toward what the original program was. It won't be that thing, obviously, but surely it'll help me. :)

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Thursday in the bag.

 

Thursday had some work drama. Y'all remember me kvetching about my supervisor and how harsh she tends to be. So, we got a new worker in the unit a while back and she's a transfer from another unit. I've seen how she be, and she doesn't take that kind of thing. So, they got into it with each other yesterday, while I was there, which kind of keyed me up for a bit. But it also really crystallized some things in terms of what bothers me about the boss - namely, that she sucks up and punches down. I honestly wasn't sure if this was supposed to be a solidarity moment or what since I was under observation by the work improvement person when this was happening, and nobody else did anything, but eventually the worker took off to talk to her "other supervisor," and the supervisor attempted to power-move by calling someone.

 

Kickboxing was fun. We had a different instructor than normal; this was actually the same dude as the one I'd met at first. Class, as such, had a very different character. The guy who teaches most of the time generally has us doing pad work for a while and working combinations before going off to spar. This teacher had us do some pad work, but then ran different drills, mostly centered on the roundhouse and getting us to "question mark" the kick. (so, like, generally, when you throw a roundhouse, you throw what's called an "A-Frame" where you kick up from the ground and into the person. "Question Marking" is when you chamber the kick and then drive it typically straight into the person. You can actually hide your intentions, though, and kick low or high off of chamber; I think that's why they call it that. I could be wrong. Of course, I could have just called this kicking from chamber but oh well).

 

It all felt very familiar, honestly. The best part was when he talked about pivoting on the supporting foot, and everyone else managed to halfway it, and I made a 180 like it was my job. Gave me a case of the happies. :D

 

Sparring was a mixed bag, but overall positive. Ate more headshots than I would have liked, but also managed some takedowns and finally managed to go with a teacher, who knew what he was doing. Also, got told that I've been forcing some of the other students to change their game on account of how I play, which just gives me warm fuzzies all over.

 

Really, really, really want to start doing BJJ with these guys, because I think it would be fun. The only thing holding me up right now is I don't know the price I'm supposed to pay. But I'm not even sure if the teachers care or what.

 

Might just start rolling on Tuesday and see what happens.

 

Strength work happened afterward. Legs are loving these close squats. Really struggling with inverted rows, though, going according to cadence. Reps are kind of hard to come by. It's not enough to force an adjustment yet but it feels like it could be close.

 

Went up to the 16 on the kettlebell finisher, which was hard but not undoable. Probably a weight I need to stick with for a bit.

 

Tonight, open mat. Or should be. We'll see how that unfolds.

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Friday night done! Relatively quiet as far as training goes. Open mat did happen; it was me and a couple other students. We rolled around for a couple rounds each of us, but that was all they had in them. One of them was nursing a low-level injury and she had to bow out, and the other student was her ride to and from the school, so he felt obligated to her.

 

It's a funny-sad kind of thing. She's letting herself be driven by the typical martial arts training philosophy where you grind yourself down into the dirt; she shows up for the boxing class where the coach is basically just trying to kill everyone before doing training and I'm like, "you know, you don't have to do that," and she's like, "but it's good for me." You'd think it'd be pretty clear that it's not if you're too hurt to do a lot of training because of the lot of training you're trying to do. I LOL-cry on the inside, but I can't say I didn't try to help her. She'll figure it out eventually. I wouldn't think to comment on it except that I'm often raring to go for the full hour and a half and her running herself down not only affects her ability to train, but also cuts into my ability to train via sparring.

 

Still, she has to make her own choices. I get that.

 

Anyway. Q&D today, and... I dunno what else. I told myself I'd go work at the office today, but I got up late after getting extra sleep and I've got so much done at work over the past month and it's a holiday weekend, and I'm just not feeling it, man. I dunno if we're gonna have the budget for overtime next month, but I'm honestly sure I don't care that much.

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So! Q&D happened and not a whole lot else really. It was a nice, restful day in a lot of ways. I also finalized some travel arrangements; I'm off to visit that friend who's in Maine who I mentioned some while back. Finalized those plans and everything should be good to go. Managed to find some reasonably priced flights at some reasonable times.

 

Sunday I got together with the folks as opposed to Saturday. This past Saturday would have been the day we got together for D&D, but bro's down in Atlanta for Dragoncon, and we wound up pushing the game back to next weekend. They still wanted to get together, though, so we went to a restaurant that's within walking distance for me and were just generally companionable with one another. Later that day was BJJ. This month we are focusing on take downs, which is essentially what would be tachiwaza in judo. I honestly thought I'd have flashbacks to getting every little nit picked over, but the coach was really cool about it. He said that instead of worrying so much about the specific technique that the focus should be on getting the opponent's balance; once you have that, the throw pretty much just happens. Also, unlike judo, BJJ kept the leg techniques, so we got to practice single-leg and double-leg take downs and then some above the waist take downs and self-defense type stuff. Wrist-locky shit, you know?

 

We did some sparring afterward, and I have to admit, I'd kind of like for us to start our rounds from standing when possible. Just feels right, you know? Like if you're gonna fight with this stuff, you should start from standing. But coach is a little reluctant, because taking the falls can be a hurtful thing, and he's not wrong about that. So I dunno if it's gonna be a big part of our training going forward or what. As for the rolls themselves, they were okay. I didn't get any taps as I was trying to focus on using technique rather than being stronger than my opponents, because I know I'm stronger and it doesn't prove much to force my way through. Also, don't want to be a bully. So no taps for me, but did manage to throw some guard passes that we practiced, which was good.

 

Came back home, practiced handstand stuff, and that was that.

 

Monday was pretty chill too. I did some strength work; I'm playing around with dips in addition to push ups now, kind of alternating them week by week. Also did some fingertip wall push ups on top of the other stuff. I have to admit, my programming has a certain touchy-feely element to it right now, and the reason for that is I'm going to attempt to add some muscle in the Fall months, and that's gonna require some heavy work. I think I have some ideas about how to do that, and I'm kind of taking this month now to really just dig into it and get a feel for what I want to put together. I think it's gonna be fun, but it's also going to be relatively uncharted territory for me, especially since I don't know if that's something I can keep up in the long run.

 

But uh yeah, anyway, dips and ab work and that was that. Went to gaming where we worked on more characters for some new people who might be joining the table? Not sure.

 

Tuesday, I think I'm going to go roll with people at the kickboxing school. They're cutting off overtime for the holiday and I don't really have anything to do for the couple hours between work ending and class starting. Might as well see what I can get away with.

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10 hours ago, Kishi said:

We did some sparring afterward, and I have to admit, I'd kind of like for us to start our rounds from standing when possible. Just feels right, you know? Like if you're gonna fight with this stuff, you should start from standing. But coach is a little reluctant, because taking the falls can be a hurtful thing, and he's not wrong about that. So I dunno if it's gonna be a big part of our training going forward or what.

 

Does there have to be one answer for all pairs for all of time? Sometimes we do full technique from start to finish, sometimes we lightning round it by leaving off pins, sometimes we start with including pins and ditch them if joints complain. Not to mention the intensity of said falls can vary...

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56 minutes ago, Urgan said:

 

Does there have to be one answer for all pairs for all of time? Sometimes we do full technique from start to finish, sometimes we lightning round it by leaving off pins, sometimes we start with including pins and ditch them if joints complain. Not to mention the intensity of said falls can vary...

 

Good question! And I don't actually know. A lot of what we do and how we roll is case by case, depending on how healthy our partner is and where they define their limits. That being said, coach does try to regulate us in terms of what we do as well, because he's trying to preserve our health. He does appreciate initiative, but he's also turned me down from starting rolls with people in the middle of a round for Reasons (probably related to making sure that we were relatively in line with everyone else).

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By the way, @WhiteGhost, I haven't had the chance to stop by your topic and actually say anything, but I do see that you've started Ghostlet on The Wheel of Time and I want you to know that I approve of your parenting choices.

 

Just thought you'd want to know. :)

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8 hours ago, WhiteGhost said:

I'm also exposing him to fantasy based RPG games on the Xbox.  I am gently leading him down the path of Nerdery :D 

 

As one does! So it was with my father, and so it shall be with me, one day. Maybe.

 

*

 

So, plan was to go roll and then get beat up.

 

Plan did not happen. I left at what I thought was the right time and wound up being wrong. Traffic took a lot more time to negotiate than I thought it would, and while I'm pretty confident I could have just rolled up, something about being late on top of not paying for studies felt like I was asking for trouble.

 

I wound up going home and hitting Q&D instead. Got a quick session in rather than a longer one, and then made it out to kickbox. So the day wasn't a loss, for all that I didn't get the outcome I was looking for. The kickboxing was good; we wound up working on side-kicking off of a missed roundhouse, which was something I thought I was unique in doing. I was happy and sad, but I wound up happy again on account of being able to throw it in sparring. That's always a good thing to have happen.

 

Anyway, plans are now kind of up in the air all over the place. Hurricane Dorian has made its way to us, so the Red Cross has activated some shelters. I volunteered again, and I've been activated for an overnight shift tonight, 19:00-07:00. In case it's not clear, I'm not going to the office tomorrow. Meanwhile, my friend from Charleston's made his way up here as part of the mandatory evacuation down there and he's wanting to hang, so we're negotiating that, and that's gonna be on top of whatever happens tomorrow.

 

Fun times ahead.

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Heckin good for you for going on the dates!!! I'm sorry it didn't work out, but it looks like you broke down a mental barrier for dating (having to sacrifice training), and the three date programming issue you had.  that's an interesting one, and props to you for identifying it.  I'm glad you were able to have additional real evidence that you can go on dates, and more than one. This is great!

 

 

On 8/30/2019 at 10:45 AM, Kishi said:

Kickboxing was fun. We had a different instructor than normal; this was actually the same dude as the one I'd met at first. Class, as such, had a very different character. The guy who teaches most of the time generally has us doing pad work for a while and working combinations before going off to spar. This teacher had us do some pad work, but then ran different drills, mostly centered on the roundhouse and getting us to "question mark" the kick. (so, like, generally, when you throw a roundhouse, you throw what's called an "A-Frame" where you kick up from the ground and into the person. "Question Marking" is when you chamber the kick and then drive it typically straight into the person. You can actually hide your intentions, though, and kick low or high off of chamber; I think that's why they call it that. I could be wrong. Of course, I could have just called this kicking from chamber but oh well).

 

It all felt very familiar, honestly. The best part was when he talked about pivoting on the supporting foot, and everyone else managed to halfway it, and I made a 180 like it was my job. Gave me a case of the happies. :D

BADASS!!!!! Good for you!! that sounds awesome, I'm glad you were able to nail that.  That sounds delightful.  PIVOT LIKE YOU MEAN IT.

 

On 9/3/2019 at 1:24 AM, Kishi said:

Like if you're gonna fight with this stuff, you should start from standing.

Preach

 

 

I hope you are safe during the hurricane.  Good on you for helping out :) 

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On ‎9‎/‎4‎/‎2019 at 12:38 PM, Urgan said:

#hurricanehangout

 

Pretty much.

 

On ‎9‎/‎4‎/‎2019 at 5:16 PM, Mistr said:

Good for you volunteering!

 

I hope everything goes as well as it can in a big storm.

 

It did. I'll elaborate below, but basically this wasn't anything but good sleeping weather around here.

 

On ‎9‎/‎5‎/‎2019 at 7:56 AM, Treva said:

Heckin good for you for going on the dates!!! I'm sorry it didn't work out, but it looks like you broke down a mental barrier for dating (having to sacrifice training), and the three date programming issue you had.  that's an interesting one, and props to you for identifying it.  I'm glad you were able to have additional real evidence that you can go on dates, and more than one. This is great!

 

Yeah, and it's had benefit since then. A lot of my more negative self talk with regard to relationships and such like that just rings hollow these days and I don't really believe it. It's nice to have evidence to challenge myself with. :)

 

On ‎9‎/‎5‎/‎2019 at 7:56 AM, Treva said:

BADASS!!!!! Good for you!! that sounds awesome, I'm glad you were able to nail that.  That sounds delightful.  PIVOT LIKE YOU MEAN IT.

 

Like a sir. :D Everyone else likes to kick hard with muscle. I like to do it with structure. It's lazy, but powerful. Just the way I like it. :D

 

On ‎9‎/‎5‎/‎2019 at 7:56 AM, Treva said:

Preach

 

Right. Also, all the BJJ memes say that people pull guard because their takedowns are weak. I don't want to be weak. I want to be strong. Or at least as strong as everyone's comfortable with me being.

 

On ‎9‎/‎5‎/‎2019 at 7:56 AM, Treva said:

I hope you are safe during the hurricane.  Good on you for helping out :)

 

11 hours ago, Teirin said:

be safe! 

 

Thanks. I was. Promise. :)

 

*

 

So! Rumors of my demise are greatly exaggerated.

 

I got out of work early and made my way to the shelter. We were set up in an old Sears building and had 726 beds. 18 were occupied. So, work was really easy. Most of the preparations were done already and there wasn't a lot in terms of go-fer work, so the crushing majority of the 12 hours was spent on fire watch. It was a long, quiet night.

 

Was able to make it back home safely where I ate a little and then went to bed. I thought I was only going to sleep a little, but I wound up passing out and didn't wake up 'til 17:00 that evening. Turns out 12 hours of walking during nighttime hours is a great catalyst for sleep. Who'd have thought?

 

Anyway, wound up going to hang with my friend where we made our way out and about to hang in bookstores and such. Made our way back to where he was staying where a third friend showed up and we wound up going through the first half of Good Omens. Makes me want to read the book - not that I think the book is always necessarily better, mind, but I'm just curious about it. My gut feeling at this halfway point is that it's good, but there's a conflict between Aziraphale and Crowley at this stage that... like, I must have missed something? But I'm not really buying it. I'll hide it in spoilers below because I like venting, but I'm not sure who's seen it or not.

 

Spoiler

So, essentially, the plot of the story is that an angel and a demon become friends over the course of history and find themselves in a position where both of their respective sides want to end the world, and neither one of them want that to happen, because Humanity Is Awesome. The first episode is about them trying to manage who they think is the Antichrist child, trying to nurture him toward a certain way of being, only for them to find that they got the wrong boy.

 

Fast forward a bit, and Aziraphale has a solid lead that Crowley doesn't. And instead of sharing this lead with his friend - which, you know, is the thing that we would expect as the audience because the show spends all this time building up their friendship, including spending half the third episode showing all the things they've been through and the arrangement they have - he decides not to? For Reasons? Which aren't very well-defined?

 

Like, the show's made it pretty clear, Heaven and Hell want Armageddon to happen. Like they are clearly spoiling for this fight, and Azi's bosses have told him that they expect him to fail; hell, they've said that failure is success at this point. And instead, he's going to try to split the difference and report back to his bosses who've all but said they're not going to help? As opposed to his friend? That doesn't track. It just reads like this arbitrary choice to make Azi and Crowley fight and Make Drama and it doesn't feel like a natural development given the direction the story seems to have gone in.

 

Feels lazy and wrong, and while I definitely want to keep going - because the story is very British and thus full of subtleties that I am prone to miss, and maybe the legwork was done to justify this and I didn't see it? - I nevertheless do find this particular element to be unsatisfying.

 

Anyway, as you can imagine, no training yesterday. Open mat tonight, and strength work to follow; I guess we're gonna see what this is like.

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