Once upon a dark and stormy morning.... I stayed in bed.

[Ihadris]

Hi Rebels, 

 

I'm asking for your help. 

 

I've been receiving treatment for depression for about 19 months now. Thankfully I believe I'm past my nadir and have made great gains towards living a happier and healthier life in all areas but one: exercise. 

 

My problem is this: When I do make it to the gym or head out for a run I feel fantastic afterwards but on the dark days, the days when exercise would be the very thing that would help the most, I struggle to even get out of bed. I end up feeling frustrated, out of my depth and give up for a few months before making an effort to try again. 

 

So after hearing so much about all of you from my brother I thought I'd ask you guys how you motivate yourselves. What is your tactic for getting into your workouts on the days you'd rather do anything else? 

 

Ihadris

[Caution]

A picture of what I used to look like before I lost 30 lbs a few years ago is on my desk next to my monitor, seeing that usually does it.  

 

Edit: If emotional things can swing your mood, try watching some motivational youtube videos, or put up your favorite motivational quote near something you see everyday. 

[Rivanariko]

Try to find a workout buddy that you have to meet up with somewhere. If I have somewhere I HAVE to be because there is someone counting on me, then I can usually manage to lever myself out of bed unless it's a REALLY bad day, in which case, I just let it ride and start over the next day. A big part of working through my own depression is trying to embrace the philosophy of "Just for today". It doesn't matter if yesterday I laid in bed all day and ate a pint of ice cream. Just for today, I'm going to get up and I'm going to do something positive. Tomorrow I might eat 6 lbs of chocolate and watch horrible reality shows all day. But today, I'm going to go work out. Those dark days happen. I don't have any advice on them for you, because I haven't figured out how to get out of them either, but when they're over, their over. Don't let it derail everything else. 

[jimmie65]

Accountability.

Let people close to you know that you are working out, and maybe even why. And ask them to check in with you about how it's going.

A workout buddy is even better, if that's an option. 

[Raincloak]

Don't think about going for a whole run.  Your brain doesn't want to commit to that.  Instead, think itty bitty baby steps.

 

Just decide you're going to get dressed and go to the end of the driveway.  Go touch the mailbox.  Tell yourself that's all you have to do.  And -- this is the key point -- really mean it.  If you want to quit after you get that far, you have won a small victory and you are allowed to come back inside.  You can do that.  It'll only take three minutes, and then you can go back to bed without feeling guilty.

 

If you make it that far, you'll probably run, because by then you've done the hard part.  The rest is just rolling downhill.  But if you come back inside without running, at least you won the internal battle, which is a good start you can build on.  If you get out and touch the mailbox every day, then maybe next week you can go to the end of the street, and so on...

[katscratch]

I definitely understand what it feels like to know logically that it's good for you but to be unable to physically get there - that has been a big part of my life off and on for the past year or so. 

 

I'm with everyone that says make someone else help you

 

I started carpooling with a coworker, even though I actually drive three times longer than if I drove by myself, just because on those days i HAVE to get up early. 

 

And doing a challenge here, even though I had awesome support from NF-ers without doing a challenge, adds a layer of Oh Crap I Better Get Up Because I Don't Want To Admit I Flaked -- so for me it is working to help me turn my "i know i will feel awesome after I go to the gym" into a habit.  The more consistently I go, the more I crave it, and the easier it gets to get up again.  

[Ihadris]

Thank you for your suggestions and help! 

 

So far I've gone back to basics and am just getting used to being in bed and up in the morning at a regular time (maybe an extreme version of Raincloak's idea?). Hoping to slowly start working in going outside to the drive way, onto a small morning walk etc. 

 

Will keep you all updated.

Ihadris

[Raincloak]

fwiw, one of my bosses (an attorney in his early 60s) has depression issues.  He was ordered by his doctor to start going for walks daily.  So every morning around 10 or 11 am, he puts on his raincoat and hits the city streets for 20 minutes.

 

In spite of a bad knee, he says these walks have been very beneficial to his mood.

 

so if you can't stomach the thought of going for a run, at least go for a walk.  Walking is good.  I suspect a major reason dog owners live longer is because they have to walk the dog.

[Emissary2Ornj]

So far I've gone back to basics and am just getting used to being in bed and up in the morning at a regular time (maybe an extreme version of Raincloak's idea?). Hoping to slowly start working in going outside to the drive way, onto a small morning walk etc. 

 

Ihadris,

 

Hi. I applaud your courage. I remember that what looks like little tiny metaphorical hills of dirt to someone not looking through depression-glasses are actually Mt Everests to those of us who are. I'm not where you are now, but I am struggling w/my sleep hygiene and formulating good habits. One thing my journey is teaching me is to focus on what I can do consistently and do it, however tiny that thing seems. I think you're on the right track- "itty bitty baby steps", indeed. 

 

You say you're receiving treatment, and I don't want/need to know the specifics of that private info. I will just say that w/out finding the right drug for me, I wouldn't have had the strength to do the other things which were helpful to me. That was crucial. I don't want to start the meds/no meds debate. I'm talking about what was right for me. My body needs that chemical boost to keep me in a place where I can help myself. Everyone's journey and needs are different, though.

 

Hang in there! We're fighting for you.

 

Emissary2Ornj

[Shoshie]

Finding exercise that I *want* to do.  I'll occasionally run, but that doesn't really do it for me.  It tends to be the most sporadic exercise in my arsenal.  For a while it was dance.  Now it's aerial silks and trapeze.  It's fun enough that I'll drive across town at 8 pm for it and fun enough that I'll commit to doing whatever strength training I need to become better.  I also love squats, deadlifts, and overhead presses (for some reason, not so much the bench press), and the thrill of adding more weight to the bar is enough to get me up and out at 6 am, no mean feat, let me tell you.  

[Georges]

Try to find a workout buddy that you have to meet up with somewhere.

This. Many people with depression are less willing to "let someone else down" than to give up on themselves.

[Evicious]

Raincloak is right: just do one thing. And if that means starting out by going to bed and getting out of it at the same times every day for a month, then start with that. It's enough to start, and starting is always the hardest part.

[Perdi]

Don't think about going for a whole run.  Your brain doesn't want to commit to that.  Instead, think itty bitty baby steps.

 

Just decide you're going to get dressed and go to the end of the driveway.  Go touch the mailbox.  Tell yourself that's all you have to do.  And -- this is the key point -- really mean it.  If you want to quit after you get that far, you have won a small victory and you are allowed to come back inside.  You can do that.  It'll only take three minutes, and then you can go back to bed without feeling guilty.

 

If you make it that far, you'll probably run, because by then you've done the hard part.  The rest is just rolling downhill.  But if you come back inside without running, at least you won the internal battle, which is a good start you can build on.  If you get out and touch the mailbox every day, then maybe next week you can go to the end of the street, and so on...

 This is exactly how I do it.  I tell myself, you only have to walk 10 minutes.  5 out and 5 back. Or, you only have to do 5 squats and 5 pushups and 15 jumping jacks and you can call it good and then you've done SOMETHING instead of nothing. Then you can quit or go back inside and read or play video games or hide from the world or whatnot.  But after 5 minutes or the 15 jumping jacks or whatnot, I'm usually feeling pretty good and keep going.  Because the exercise does help the depression, and I just need to trick myself into getting started.  Once I'm doing it, I feel better quickly.  On the rare days I DO quit after 10 minutes whatnot, I tell myself there's no shame in that and I've done something.  The important part is that I've done something. 

[basscrack]

I'm hopping in on this one right with Raincloak and everyone else who agreed. The biggest thing that has worked for me is to take it a step at a time. Even as small as waking up and putting on workout clothes. Walking out and getting into the car. Most days just getting dressed is enough, like I crossed the mental threshold and my mind goes "Well, we've gone this far." Definitely once I'm in the car and outside the gym, no matter how much I feel lazy or tired or depressed and don't want to do it, it just seems too silly to turn around and go home. Once I get in the gym and on a treadmill or bike or elliptical, I start moving and start feeling better.

 

Once you do one small step forward, the momentum starts to help you along. Eventually, it all snowballs and you find yourself at the gym, working out and feeling great. And there's nothing better than that feeling of accomplishment of completing your workout for the day.

[BeautifulBeast]

I don't have any one thing that motivates me. I look at pictures of what I used to look like, I imagine what I want people to be saying this summer when I put on a bikini and have a very defined six-pack tummy, I hop on my fitness page on Facebook and post motivation for other people because if I don't get up and workout after telling someone else to I feel guilty. I look at pictures of figure competitors and super fit women and remind myself to get to that goal, I will have to put the work in. My husband tells me to do it. I talk myself into getting up and putting my workout clothes on. And then my shoes. And then I do just my warm-up and promise myself if I don't feel it by the end of the warm-up I can sit back down. But by the time the warm up is over i think 'well, I've already come this far' and finish it out. 

Most importantly: I don't give myself the option of not working out. It can be a struggle to get started but the actual act of doing it is non-negotiable. 

[Zorch]

Don't think about going for a whole run.  Your brain doesn't want to commit to that.  Instead, think itty bitty baby steps.

 

Just decide you're going to get dressed and go to the end of the driveway.  Go touch the mailbox.  Tell yourself that's all you have to do.  And -- this is the key point -- really mean it.  If you want to quit after you get that far, you have won a small victory and you are allowed to come back inside.  You can do that.  It'll only take three minutes, and then you can go back to bed without feeling guilty.

 

This. Many people with depression are less willing to "let someone else down" than to give up on themselves.

 

I just wanted to echo these two comments that others have made, because they are consistent with my own experience.  FWIW I dealt with fairly extensive depression in the 2nd half of my undergraduate time in college and just beyond.  Currently I'm(mostly) normal and not doing any treatment/medication, but still have periods of time where I spend way too much energy fighting myself and the thoughts in my head.

 

The biggest key for me, as I've learned(and others have mentioned here), has been taking that first step.  Once I get rolling, I get busy enough and focused on the task at hand that I get out of that negative psychological loop.  The techniques for getting there may vary from person to person, but if you can find your own reasons for getting out the door/taking that first step, it goes a long way towards overcoming what I'd call "depression inertia".

 

I also agree with finding a friend/buddy to do things with.  There's really two parts of this to me: In my particular case for reasons I won't go into here, I HATE HATE HATE the thought of letting others down/abandoning others who need my help, and if someone's relying on me for something, 99%+ of the time that's enough to overcome any fears/negative thoughts I may have.  Secondly, my personal experience is that positive interpersonal interactions go a long way toward making me feel better, which can break the negative cycle and initiate/perpetuate positive ones.  Having one or more friends where you guys mutually support each other in workouts and other activities goes a long way toward keeping you going.

[Shoshie]

Oh, I'm not sure why I didn't mention this earlier, but having a wake-up light helped my mood dramatically.  If your depression has any seasonal or light component to it at all, I HIGHLY recommend it.  I have the Phillips model, and it's basically the only way I wake up at all in Seattle winters.  If that's too pricey, in college I just set a lamp on a timer to go off about 10 minutes before I wanted to wake up.  It helped so much to wake up to a light room.

[cracked_belle]

I have manic depression. I just got back on my meds after a really bad depressive bout. ad for about two weeks, I didn't exercise at all (whereas I normally do so every day). much as you expressed, waking up was sometimes all I could manage. I seriously did sleep all my free time away, because I couldn't manage to do anything else.

so I guess ... I guess I don't have a solution. :/

one thing I found that does work, however, is a Depression Workout. it's just four or five mini exercises that I do on the bad days, so at least I don't get totally out of the habit of exercising. it might be ten jumping jacks, a few stretches, and ten squats -- the end. that way, at least I'm doing something.