Guzzi Posted May 8, 2017 Report Share Posted May 8, 2017 My sister bet me £100 that I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta. 5 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Tomu-san Posted May 9, 2017 Report Share Posted May 9, 2017 What did one tectonic plate say when it bumped into another? "Sorry, my fault!" 4 Quote Tomu-san - Level 3 HalfOgre Ranger [ STR 2 | DEX 2 | STA 3 | CON 8 | WIS 6 | CHA 2 ] Spoiler "A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects." - Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love "I came here to drink milk and kick ass. And I've just finished my milk." - Maurice Moss Link to comment
Basement Cat Posted May 9, 2017 Report Share Posted May 9, 2017 3 Quote Current form: Chubby House Cat (lvl4) Weight objective: 20% S. 4 P. 6 E. 4 C. 7 I. 8 A. 4 L. 5 Battle log Current Challenge Handy linky. Link to comment
Tomu-san Posted May 11, 2017 Report Share Posted May 11, 2017 3 1 Quote Tomu-san - Level 3 HalfOgre Ranger [ STR 2 | DEX 2 | STA 3 | CON 8 | WIS 6 | CHA 2 ] Spoiler "A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects." - Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love "I came here to drink milk and kick ass. And I've just finished my milk." - Maurice Moss Link to comment
Guzzi Posted May 15, 2017 Report Share Posted May 15, 2017 Not a joke, but I laughed so hard! 5 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Wobbegong Posted May 15, 2017 Report Share Posted May 15, 2017 @Guzzi instructed me to post this over here (originally listed in the "What Made You Smile Today" thread because I will smile for anyone if I like them already): Why did the pirate go to the Caribbean? To get some ARRRR & ARRRR. *chuckles* yeah, pretty terrible. Best results if you deliver the punchline making a hook finger and closing one eye, pirate-style (???) 2 Quote Link to comment
Tomu-san Posted May 17, 2017 Report Share Posted May 17, 2017 What is sodium's favorite sandwich? 2Na 3 Quote Tomu-san - Level 3 HalfOgre Ranger [ STR 2 | DEX 2 | STA 3 | CON 8 | WIS 6 | CHA 2 ] Spoiler "A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects." - Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love "I came here to drink milk and kick ass. And I've just finished my milk." - Maurice Moss Link to comment
Frost of the Gloaming Posted May 17, 2017 Report Share Posted May 17, 2017 The frustrated cannibal threw up his arms 7 Quote Between a rock and a hard place, use our finger nails to climb, it's all we know.......... Daily Mile Perfer et obdura: Dolor hic tibi proderit olim Link to comment
WhiteGhost Posted May 18, 2017 Report Share Posted May 18, 2017 14 hours ago, Tomu-san said: What is sodium's favorite sandwich? 2Na It took me a minute to get that 2 Quote HUNTER OF ALL THINGS SHINY Intro Thread Challenge Log Bodyweight Exercise Library Recipe Book Shuffle Club Level 2 Ninja Strength: 13 Intelligence: 14 Wisdom: 6 Dexterity:14 Constitution: 12 Charisma: 11 Link to comment
Tomu-san Posted May 18, 2017 Report Share Posted May 18, 2017 9 hours ago, WhiteGhost said: It took me a minute to get that Joke grenade! Quote Tomu-san - Level 3 HalfOgre Ranger [ STR 2 | DEX 2 | STA 3 | CON 8 | WIS 6 | CHA 2 ] Spoiler "A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects." - Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love "I came here to drink milk and kick ass. And I've just finished my milk." - Maurice Moss Link to comment
Artinum Posted May 18, 2017 Report Share Posted May 18, 2017 2 hours ago, Tomu-san said: Joke grenade! A pun with a pin? 4 Quote What happens when you play Final Fantasy VII with everyone called Cloud? It gets quite confusing... https://ff7crowdofclouds.wordpress.com/ Link to comment
Guzzi Posted May 21, 2017 Report Share Posted May 21, 2017 Courtesy your friendly neighbourhood RandMart King David rode a motorcycle. We know because the Bible says "His Triumph could be heard throughout the land." Did you hear the creator of auto correct died? May he restaurant in peace. Q. Which is the most curious letter A. Y 4 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
JustCallMeAmber Posted May 23, 2017 Report Share Posted May 23, 2017 Q. How did the hipster burn his tongue? A. He drank it before it was cool 5 Quote We will never see the best version of ourselves inside our comfort zone Link to comment
Jittersthe.Clown Posted May 24, 2017 Report Share Posted May 24, 2017 What's a cats favorite color? Purrrrple. Courtesy of Jitter Bug - Age 5. 3 Quote Level 2 Warforged Druid STR: 2, DEX: 1, STA: 3, CON: 3, WIS: 2, CHA: 3 "If these people tell this story to their children as they sleep; then maybe someday they'll see a hero is just a man who knows he is free." Good night and joy be to you all ~Jitters The. Clown Current Challange: New Challenges Ahead! Battle Log: Clowning around daily Past Challenges: Leveling Up PvP Jump Rope Boss Continue? System Failure Systems Online Calling Rush Confirm Reset Select World Select Difficulty, Select Character, Repairs, Press Start, First Timer, Jump Rope PVP Challenge Link to comment
Fearkiller Posted May 28, 2017 Report Share Posted May 28, 2017 I suppose you're familiar with my dark-ish sense of humour by now.. Reddit, 'What is the most ignorant thing someone has ever said to you?' After my sister had passed away, someone I knew said, "At least she died doing what she loved" She died of a heroin overdose. -BigOlGabe 3 Quote "There is beauty in hardship / There are poems in grief" -Assemblage 23, Damaged | STR:2.25 | DEX:2.25 | STA:2 | CON:1.25 | CHA:3.25 | WIS:7 | A place I will collect my woots - if I remember Challenges | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 15.1 | 15.2 | Milythaels' HOoRAY for which I am grateful | Today, right now, I am alive. And that is good. It is amazing the power of those small gestures of love and kindness have on our lives. <3 - Liberator "I myself am made entirely of flaws, stiched together with good intentions." - Augusten Burroughs, Magical thinking:True stories "Pick up the pieces and keep going, one painfully slow step at a time." - Hiraedd the twice-risen, hamadryad. "Spread love and understanding. Use force if necessary." - Leon Trotsky "Let me think about the people I care about the most, and when they fail or disappoint me, I still love them, I still give them chances, and I still see the best in them. Let me extend that generosity to myself." zefrank1, An Invocation for Beginnings "I don't feel guilty for wanting. That's like being mad because you have to breathe or pee. It just is." Someone in Reddit "If you do strange things, strange things will happen!" "That's it! Now go make something beautiful." -Jake Parker Link to comment
Guzzi Posted May 29, 2017 Report Share Posted May 29, 2017 Q - Why did the squirrel swim on his back? A - To keep his nuts dry Curtesy of my bf's 9yo son 5 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Butternut Posted July 5, 2017 Report Share Posted July 5, 2017 When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital. 5 Quote "One should eat to live, not live to eat." -Molaire- "People always forget their hangover" -My dear ol' dad "People are born to live, while some are born to evolve." Link to comment
Guzzi Posted July 5, 2017 Report Share Posted July 5, 2017 15 hours ago, Butternut said: When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital. I hear that death once had a near Chuck experience. 3 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Jittersthe.Clown Posted July 5, 2017 Report Share Posted July 5, 2017 What kind of bees make milk instead of honey? 2 Quote Level 2 Warforged Druid STR: 2, DEX: 1, STA: 3, CON: 3, WIS: 2, CHA: 3 "If these people tell this story to their children as they sleep; then maybe someday they'll see a hero is just a man who knows he is free." Good night and joy be to you all ~Jitters The. Clown Current Challange: New Challenges Ahead! Battle Log: Clowning around daily Past Challenges: Leveling Up PvP Jump Rope Boss Continue? System Failure Systems Online Calling Rush Confirm Reset Select World Select Difficulty, Select Character, Repairs, Press Start, First Timer, Jump Rope PVP Challenge Link to comment
Butternut Posted July 5, 2017 Report Share Posted July 5, 2017 5 hours ago, Guzzi said: I hear that death once had a near Chuck experience. Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding 3 Quote "One should eat to live, not live to eat." -Molaire- "People always forget their hangover" -My dear ol' dad "People are born to live, while some are born to evolve." Link to comment
Guzzi Posted July 6, 2017 Report Share Posted July 6, 2017 Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting. He was never acting. 3 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Tanktimus the Encourager Posted July 6, 2017 Report Share Posted July 6, 2017 When Chuck Norris pees it clogs the toilet. Chuck Norris once donated blood. He declined the needle and simply asked for a pistol and a bucket. 3 Quote Current Challenge "By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath Link to comment
Luds Posted July 6, 2017 Report Share Posted July 6, 2017 If at first you do not succeed.......you are not chuck norris 2 Quote Remember that sensory deprivation causes hallucinations Link to comment
Jittersthe.Clown Posted July 7, 2017 Report Share Posted July 7, 2017 In Jamaica, you can get a steak and kidney pie for $1.75, a chicken and mushroom pie for $1.60, and an apple pie for $2.15. In St. Kitts and Nevis, a steak and kidney pie will cost you $2.00, a chicken pie (without mushrooms) is $1.70, and a cherry pie can be yours for $1.95. In Trinidad and Tobago, that steak and kidney pie comes in at $2.50, but you can get two for $3.50, while the chicken and mushroom pie is $2.25, or two for $3.25. They also offer meat and potato pie for $2.00 or two for $3.00. Their apple pies and cherry pies are often sold for $2.75 or two of any combination for $4.75. Those are the Pie Rates of the Caribbean. 5 Quote Level 2 Warforged Druid STR: 2, DEX: 1, STA: 3, CON: 3, WIS: 2, CHA: 3 "If these people tell this story to their children as they sleep; then maybe someday they'll see a hero is just a man who knows he is free." Good night and joy be to you all ~Jitters The. Clown Current Challange: New Challenges Ahead! Battle Log: Clowning around daily Past Challenges: Leveling Up PvP Jump Rope Boss Continue? System Failure Systems Online Calling Rush Confirm Reset Select World Select Difficulty, Select Character, Repairs, Press Start, First Timer, Jump Rope PVP Challenge Link to comment
Butternut Posted July 8, 2017 Report Share Posted July 8, 2017 One more... Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest 1 Quote "One should eat to live, not live to eat." -Molaire- "People always forget their hangover" -My dear ol' dad "People are born to live, while some are born to evolve." Link to comment
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