Basement Cat Posted October 24, 2018 Report Share Posted October 24, 2018 Did you know that if someone of Mongolian and French ancestry gets bitten by a werewolf, they actually turn into an Australian at the full moon? Because they're a Khan-Garou. 2 1 Quote Current form: Chubby House Cat (lvl4) Weight objective: 20% S. 4 P. 6 E. 4 C. 7 I. 8 A. 4 L. 5 Battle log Current Challenge Handy linky. Link to comment
RubiksCat Posted October 24, 2018 Report Share Posted October 24, 2018 1 hour ago, Basement Cat said: Did you know that if someone of Mongolian and French ancestry gets bitten by a werewolf, they actually turn into an Australian at the full moon? Because they're a Khan-Garou. I understand the Khan part but I don't get the Garou part. What's a Garou in France? Quote Link to comment
Basement Cat Posted October 24, 2018 Report Share Posted October 24, 2018 11 minutes ago, Rubik'sCat said: I understand the Khan part but I don't get the Garou part. What's a Garou in France? A werewolf in French is called a 'loup-garou'. 1 Quote Current form: Chubby House Cat (lvl4) Weight objective: 20% S. 4 P. 6 E. 4 C. 7 I. 8 A. 4 L. 5 Battle log Current Challenge Handy linky. Link to comment
RubiksCat Posted October 24, 2018 Report Share Posted October 24, 2018 1 minute ago, Basement Cat said: A werewolf in French is called a 'loup-garou'. Oh lol great joke. Quote Link to comment
Bob the Bardbarian Posted October 27, 2018 Report Share Posted October 27, 2018 Fish are delivered by a fish boat. Shrimp are delivered by a shrimp boat. Crabs are delivered by the captain's dinghy. 1 2 Quote Level 4 | Character Sheet | Current Challenge | | Past Challenges | #1 | #2 | #3 | #4 | Educate - Entertain - Inspire Link to comment
Bob the Bardbarian Posted October 27, 2018 Report Share Posted October 27, 2018 On 10/24/2018 at 10:50 AM, Basement Cat said: A werewolf in French is called a 'loup-garou'. If you think that I even remotely know how to speak French, then you've made a serious fox paws. 4 3 Quote Level 4 | Character Sheet | Current Challenge | | Past Challenges | #1 | #2 | #3 | #4 | Educate - Entertain - Inspire Link to comment
TimovieMan Posted November 2, 2018 Report Share Posted November 2, 2018 Two days late, but this is my favourite Halloween joke: I killed a vampire last night! Or possibly a kid. Either way, the wooden stake worked! 3 1 1 Quote Active challenges: Spring Respawn: Winter Blues to Summer Bod | Walk to Mordor - (spreadsheet) | DailyDare | Weight Loss PVP 10/12 lbs in 10/12 weeks - (spreadsheet) 2023-24 threads: Challenge VIII | IX | X | XI | XII | XIII | XIV | XV | XVI | XVII | XVIII 2018-19 & 2021 threads: Battle log | Challenge I | II | III | IV | V | VI | VII Link to comment
Scaly Freak Posted November 4, 2018 Report Share Posted November 4, 2018 What has more lives than a cat? Spoiler A frog. They croak several times a day. Where do frogs go when they need glasses? Spoiler To the hoptometrist. And the last one entirely spoilered due to being M-Rated: Spoiler What did one lesbian frog say to another? "It's true. We do taste like chicken." 1 2 Quote The Great Reading Thread of 2024 “I've always believed that failure is non-existent. What is failure? You go to the end of the season, then you lose the Super Bowl. Is that failing? To most people, maybe. But when you're picking apart why you failed, and now you're learning from that, then is that really failing? I don't think so." - Kobe Bryant, 1978-2020. Rest in peace, great warrior. Personal Challenges, a.k.a.The Saga of Scalyfreak: Tutorial; Ch 1; Ch 2; Ch 3; Ch 4; Ch 5; Ch 6; Intermission; Intermission II; Ch 7; Ch 8; Ch 9; Ch 10; Ch 11; Ch 12 ; Ch 13; Ch 14; Ch 15; Ch 16; Ch 17; Intermission III; Ch 18; Ch 19; Ch 20; Ch 21; Ch 22; Ch 23; Ch 24; Ch 25; Intermission IV; Ch 26; Ch 27; Ch 28; Ch 29; Ch 30; Ch 31; Ch 32; Ch 33; Ch 34; Ch 35; Ch 36; Ch 37; Ch 38; Ch 39; Ch 40; Intermission V; Ch 41; Ch 42; Ch 43; Ch 44; Ch 45; Ch 46; Ch 47; Intermission VI; Ch 48; Ch 49; Ch 50 Link to comment
RubiksCat Posted November 7, 2018 Report Share Posted November 7, 2018 Q: How many alcoholics does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 2. One to hold the bulb and the other to drink until the room spins. 1 2 Quote Link to comment
TimovieMan Posted November 23, 2018 Report Share Posted November 23, 2018 Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Why did the cranberries turn red? Because they saw the turkey dressing! What do you call a turkey on the day after Thanksgiving? Lucky Who doesn't eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey because it is always stuffed. What do you call a running turkey? Fast food What was the turkey suspected of? Fowl play 3 4 Quote Active challenges: Spring Respawn: Winter Blues to Summer Bod | Walk to Mordor - (spreadsheet) | DailyDare | Weight Loss PVP 10/12 lbs in 10/12 weeks - (spreadsheet) 2023-24 threads: Challenge VIII | IX | X | XI | XII | XIII | XIV | XV | XVI | XVII | XVIII 2018-19 & 2021 threads: Battle log | Challenge I | II | III | IV | V | VI | VII Link to comment
TimovieMan Posted November 28, 2018 Report Share Posted November 28, 2018 A guy walks into a crowded bar and slams the door behind him to quiet the place down. He unholsters his pistol and starts waving it around, yelling, "I have a Colt .45 with seven rounds in the clip and one in the chamber and I demand to know who the sum'bitch is that's been sleeping with my wife!" A voice from the back of the room calls out, "You don't have enough ammo!" 1 4 Quote Active challenges: Spring Respawn: Winter Blues to Summer Bod | Walk to Mordor - (spreadsheet) | DailyDare | Weight Loss PVP 10/12 lbs in 10/12 weeks - (spreadsheet) 2023-24 threads: Challenge VIII | IX | X | XI | XII | XIII | XIV | XV | XVI | XVII | XVIII 2018-19 & 2021 threads: Battle log | Challenge I | II | III | IV | V | VI | VII Link to comment
Tomu-san Posted December 12, 2018 Report Share Posted December 12, 2018 "I have some bad news and some worse news." "Oh no, Doctor! What's the bad news?" "Your test results came back, and they said you only have 2 days to live." "That's terrible! What news could possibly be worse?" "Well, I tried to get in touch with you yesterday...." 1 3 Quote Tomu-san - Level 3 HalfOgre Ranger [ STR 2 | DEX 2 | STA 3 | CON 8 | WIS 6 | CHA 2 ] Spoiler "A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects." - Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love "I came here to drink milk and kick ass. And I've just finished my milk." - Maurice Moss Link to comment
Tomu-san Posted December 13, 2018 Report Share Posted December 13, 2018 What's the difference between a psychologist and a magician? A psychologist spends their time pulling habits out of rats... 2 3 Quote Tomu-san - Level 3 HalfOgre Ranger [ STR 2 | DEX 2 | STA 3 | CON 8 | WIS 6 | CHA 2 ] Spoiler "A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects." - Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love "I came here to drink milk and kick ass. And I've just finished my milk." - Maurice Moss Link to comment
Tomu-san Posted December 17, 2018 Report Share Posted December 17, 2018 Where do bad rainbows go? Prism. 4 Quote Tomu-san - Level 3 HalfOgre Ranger [ STR 2 | DEX 2 | STA 3 | CON 8 | WIS 6 | CHA 2 ] Spoiler "A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects." - Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love "I came here to drink milk and kick ass. And I've just finished my milk." - Maurice Moss Link to comment
Scaly Freak Posted January 8, 2019 Report Share Posted January 8, 2019 What's the name of Yoda's favorite dinosaur? Spoiler The Doceratops. Because there is no tri. 2 4 Quote The Great Reading Thread of 2024 “I've always believed that failure is non-existent. What is failure? You go to the end of the season, then you lose the Super Bowl. Is that failing? To most people, maybe. But when you're picking apart why you failed, and now you're learning from that, then is that really failing? I don't think so." - Kobe Bryant, 1978-2020. Rest in peace, great warrior. Personal Challenges, a.k.a.The Saga of Scalyfreak: Tutorial; Ch 1; Ch 2; Ch 3; Ch 4; Ch 5; Ch 6; Intermission; Intermission II; Ch 7; Ch 8; Ch 9; Ch 10; Ch 11; Ch 12 ; Ch 13; Ch 14; Ch 15; Ch 16; Ch 17; Intermission III; Ch 18; Ch 19; Ch 20; Ch 21; Ch 22; Ch 23; Ch 24; Ch 25; Intermission IV; Ch 26; Ch 27; Ch 28; Ch 29; Ch 30; Ch 31; Ch 32; Ch 33; Ch 34; Ch 35; Ch 36; Ch 37; Ch 38; Ch 39; Ch 40; Intermission V; Ch 41; Ch 42; Ch 43; Ch 44; Ch 45; Ch 46; Ch 47; Intermission VI; Ch 48; Ch 49; Ch 50 Link to comment
Jka14 Posted January 12, 2019 Report Share Posted January 12, 2019 A dyslexic person walks into a bra. What's the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? Snow balls! 3 Quote Link to comment
Guzzi Posted January 27, 2019 Report Share Posted January 27, 2019 On 11/16/2017 at 10:09 PM, GodzillaKong said: Bilbao Baggins... ... I'll get me coat. ¡Jajajajajaja! :D Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Guzzi Posted January 27, 2019 Report Share Posted January 27, 2019 What’s the difference between a giraffe and a digger (excavator in the US?) One has hydraulics and the other has high bollocks 1 1 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Guzzi Posted January 27, 2019 Report Share Posted January 27, 2019 As soon as space travel is possible I’m moving from the Milky Way galaxy to the Soymilky Way galaxy. Because I'm galactose intolerant. 3 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
RubiksCat Posted January 30, 2019 Report Share Posted January 30, 2019 A large passenger plane is sitting on the runway, full except for the pilots who have yet to board. Moments later, the side door opens and in stumble the pilot and his co-pilot, both holding a blind man's cane and stumbling over seats trying to get to the front cabin. The passengers mumble and laugh nervously amongst themselves after seeing this. It had to be a practical joke. Minutes later though the plane lurches down the runway, picking up more and more speed every second. Some of the passengers are white as ghosts now and are fidgeting nervously in their seats. The plane roars down the runway towards the fencing with precious little time to get airborne now. All of the passengers scream their heads off now, terrified of the ensuing crash. At the last possible second the plane is airborne and barely escapes the end of the runway. Once in the air, the pilot turns to his co-pilot and says: "Ya know, if it weren't for the screams we'd never know when to get in the air". 1 4 Quote Link to comment
Guzzi Posted February 7, 2019 Report Share Posted February 7, 2019 3 5 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Guzzi Posted February 8, 2019 Report Share Posted February 8, 2019 Just came across this gem in my Open University study material (on stereotypes) 2 5 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Tanktimus the Encourager Posted February 8, 2019 Report Share Posted February 8, 2019 8 hours ago, Guzzi said: Just came across this gem in my Open University study material (on stereotypes) Quote Current Challenge "By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath Link to comment
Guzzi Posted February 8, 2019 Report Share Posted February 8, 2019 37 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said: I think their horror can be more acutely summed up with this image... Which is exactly what I cooked for dinner tonight actually. Only I cook the carrots IN the mince. Makes all the difference y’know. 1 1 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Scaly Freak Posted February 8, 2019 Report Share Posted February 8, 2019 20 minutes ago, Guzzi said: I think their horror can be more acutely summed up with this image... Which is exactly what I cooked for dinner tonight actually. Only I cook the carrots IN the mince. Makes all the difference y’know. Nope. The meat mince thing next to the carrots isn't gray enough. Quote The Great Reading Thread of 2024 “I've always believed that failure is non-existent. What is failure? You go to the end of the season, then you lose the Super Bowl. Is that failing? To most people, maybe. But when you're picking apart why you failed, and now you're learning from that, then is that really failing? I don't think so." - Kobe Bryant, 1978-2020. Rest in peace, great warrior. Personal Challenges, a.k.a.The Saga of Scalyfreak: Tutorial; Ch 1; Ch 2; Ch 3; Ch 4; Ch 5; Ch 6; Intermission; Intermission II; Ch 7; Ch 8; Ch 9; Ch 10; Ch 11; Ch 12 ; Ch 13; Ch 14; Ch 15; Ch 16; Ch 17; Intermission III; Ch 18; Ch 19; Ch 20; Ch 21; Ch 22; Ch 23; Ch 24; Ch 25; Intermission IV; Ch 26; Ch 27; Ch 28; Ch 29; Ch 30; Ch 31; Ch 32; Ch 33; Ch 34; Ch 35; Ch 36; Ch 37; Ch 38; Ch 39; Ch 40; Intermission V; Ch 41; Ch 42; Ch 43; Ch 44; Ch 45; Ch 46; Ch 47; Intermission VI; Ch 48; Ch 49; Ch 50 Link to comment
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