Guzzi Posted February 8, 2019 Report Share Posted February 8, 2019 48 minutes ago, scalyfreak said: Nope. The meat mince thing next to the carrots isn't gray enough. “Ahhhh..... Bisto!” 1 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Guzzi Posted February 10, 2019 Report Share Posted February 10, 2019 Oops! Wrong thread! 1 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Luds Posted February 22, 2019 Report Share Posted February 22, 2019 "You come from dust and you will return to dust. That is why I don't dust, it could be somebody" "Did you know that there is a species of Antelope capable of jumping higher than the average house ? This is due to it's powerful hind legs and the fact that the average house cannot jump." "If video games make children more violent, why do they keep loosing fistfights against me ?" 4 Quote Remember that sensory deprivation causes hallucinations Link to comment
Guzzi Posted March 11, 2019 Report Share Posted March 11, 2019 Why do you never want to hear a chicken talk? Because they use fowl language! 2 3 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Guzzi Posted March 11, 2019 Report Share Posted March 11, 2019 What’s a foot long, and slippery? A slipper. 2 2 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Artinum Posted March 12, 2019 Report Share Posted March 12, 2019 I still remember the day my doctor told me I had Gloria Gaynor Syndrome. At first I was afraid. I was petrified... 6 Quote What happens when you play Final Fantasy VII with everyone called Cloud? It gets quite confusing... https://ff7crowdofclouds.wordpress.com/ Link to comment
Guzzi Posted May 18, 2019 Report Share Posted May 18, 2019 What do you call a man who can’t stand? Neil 4 3 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Guzzi Posted May 18, 2019 Report Share Posted May 18, 2019 Apparently it’s “inappropriate” to make a dad joke unless you’re actually a dad.... It’s a real faux pa 3 3 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Guzzi Posted May 18, 2019 Report Share Posted May 18, 2019 A biologist, an engineer, and a mathematician were observing an empty building. They noted two people entering the building and sometime later observed three coming out. The biologist remarked, “Oh, they must have reproduced.” The engineer said, “Our initial count must have been incorrect.” The mathematician stated, “Now if one more person goes into the building, it will be completely empty.” 3 4 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Jittersthe.Clown Posted May 20, 2019 Report Share Posted May 20, 2019 The three unwritten rules of life: 1: 2: 3: 3 1 5 Quote Level 2 Warforged Druid STR: 2, DEX: 1, STA: 3, CON: 3, WIS: 2, CHA: 3 "If these people tell this story to their children as they sleep; then maybe someday they'll see a hero is just a man who knows he is free." Good night and joy be to you all ~Jitters The. Clown Current Challange: New Challenges Ahead! Battle Log: Clowning around daily Past Challenges: Leveling Up PvP Jump Rope Boss Continue? System Failure Systems Online Calling Rush Confirm Reset Select World Select Difficulty, Select Character, Repairs, Press Start, First Timer, Jump Rope PVP Challenge Link to comment
Guzzi Posted May 25, 2019 Report Share Posted May 25, 2019 On 5/20/2019 at 2:15 PM, Jittersthe.Clown said: The three unwritten rules of life: 1: 2: 3: Bahahahahaha! That’s a classic! 1 Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
WhiteGhost Posted June 12, 2019 Report Share Posted June 12, 2019 Has anyone heard the Fibonacci joke? It's as bad as the last two combined. 1 7 Quote HUNTER OF ALL THINGS SHINY Intro Thread Challenge Log Bodyweight Exercise Library Recipe Book Shuffle Club Level 2 Ninja Strength: 13 Intelligence: 14 Wisdom: 6 Dexterity:14 Constitution: 12 Charisma: 11 Link to comment
Nomad Jay Posted June 15, 2019 Report Share Posted June 15, 2019 On 6/11/2019 at 11:31 PM, WhiteGhost said: Has anyone heard the Fibonacci joke? It's as bad as the last two combined. You, sir, are a cad. Show yourself out! 2 Quote "If you would improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid." - Epictetus "You just gotta listen to your body, unless it's saying anything about stopping, pain, your joints, or needing water." Level 20 Pilgrim (Adventurer 7, Assassin 3, Druid 2, Monk 10, Ranger 5, Rebel 9, Scout 10, Warrior 4) Link to comment
Jittersthe.Clown Posted August 22, 2019 Report Share Posted August 22, 2019 A man, in the last moments of his life, has a vision of himself walking on a beach, viewing all the most important memories of his life. The man, as he was walking across the beach,saw that there were two sets of footprints in the sand. One belonging to him, and the other to sasquatch. The man noticed that occasionally, there were sometimes only one set of footprints, and he also noticed that it happened at the lowest and saddest times in his life. This really bothered the man, and he asked sasquatch about it. "Sasquatch, you said when I devoted my life to you, you'd follow me all the way. I don't understand why when I needed you the most, you would leave me." And it was at this moment that sasquatch turned to him and replied: "HHHHHHHHHHHHNGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH" 1 Quote Level 2 Warforged Druid STR: 2, DEX: 1, STA: 3, CON: 3, WIS: 2, CHA: 3 "If these people tell this story to their children as they sleep; then maybe someday they'll see a hero is just a man who knows he is free." Good night and joy be to you all ~Jitters The. Clown Current Challange: New Challenges Ahead! Battle Log: Clowning around daily Past Challenges: Leveling Up PvP Jump Rope Boss Continue? System Failure Systems Online Calling Rush Confirm Reset Select World Select Difficulty, Select Character, Repairs, Press Start, First Timer, Jump Rope PVP Challenge Link to comment
Jittersthe.Clown Posted August 22, 2019 Report Share Posted August 22, 2019 Two whales walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get you guys?" The first whale says "WOOOOAOOOOH WOOAOOAWOOOO WAOOOOWHOAAA" The second whale says "Wow Frank, you're already wasted!" 1 1 Quote Level 2 Warforged Druid STR: 2, DEX: 1, STA: 3, CON: 3, WIS: 2, CHA: 3 "If these people tell this story to their children as they sleep; then maybe someday they'll see a hero is just a man who knows he is free." Good night and joy be to you all ~Jitters The. Clown Current Challange: New Challenges Ahead! Battle Log: Clowning around daily Past Challenges: Leveling Up PvP Jump Rope Boss Continue? System Failure Systems Online Calling Rush Confirm Reset Select World Select Difficulty, Select Character, Repairs, Press Start, First Timer, Jump Rope PVP Challenge Link to comment
Jittersthe.Clown Posted October 4, 2019 Report Share Posted October 4, 2019 4 out of 5 doctors is 80%. Quote Level 2 Warforged Druid STR: 2, DEX: 1, STA: 3, CON: 3, WIS: 2, CHA: 3 "If these people tell this story to their children as they sleep; then maybe someday they'll see a hero is just a man who knows he is free." Good night and joy be to you all ~Jitters The. Clown Current Challange: New Challenges Ahead! Battle Log: Clowning around daily Past Challenges: Leveling Up PvP Jump Rope Boss Continue? System Failure Systems Online Calling Rush Confirm Reset Select World Select Difficulty, Select Character, Repairs, Press Start, First Timer, Jump Rope PVP Challenge Link to comment
Onorexis Posted October 7, 2019 Report Share Posted October 7, 2019 What's Forrest Gump's password? 1forrest1 3 Quote Link to comment
Pherales Posted October 8, 2019 Report Share Posted October 8, 2019 5/4 people admit they're bad with fractions. 2 Quote Do the thing 2024 Intentions Roadmap Link to comment
Scaly Freak Posted November 4, 2019 Report Share Posted November 4, 2019 Why do imaginary women wear mascara and lipstick? Because they're made up. 3 Quote The Great Reading Thread of 2024 “I've always believed that failure is non-existent. What is failure? You go to the end of the season, then you lose the Super Bowl. Is that failing? To most people, maybe. But when you're picking apart why you failed, and now you're learning from that, then is that really failing? I don't think so." - Kobe Bryant, 1978-2020. Rest in peace, great warrior. Personal Challenges, a.k.a.The Saga of Scalyfreak: Tutorial; Ch 1; Ch 2; Ch 3; Ch 4; Ch 5; Ch 6; Intermission; Intermission II; Ch 7; Ch 8; Ch 9; Ch 10; Ch 11; Ch 12 ; Ch 13; Ch 14; Ch 15; Ch 16; Ch 17; Intermission III; Ch 18; Ch 19; Ch 20; Ch 21; Ch 22; Ch 23; Ch 24; Ch 25; Intermission IV; Ch 26; Ch 27; Ch 28; Ch 29; Ch 30; Ch 31; Ch 32; Ch 33; Ch 34; Ch 35; Ch 36; Ch 37; Ch 38; Ch 39; Ch 40; Intermission V; Ch 41; Ch 42; Ch 43; Ch 44; Ch 45; Ch 46; Ch 47; Intermission VI; Ch 48; Ch 49; Ch 50 Link to comment
RubiksCat Posted September 18, 2020 Report Share Posted September 18, 2020 Why couldn't the pepper do well at archery? He didn't habanero. 2 1 Quote Link to comment
WhiteGhost Posted October 26, 2020 Report Share Posted October 26, 2020 To kill a French vampire you need to drive a baguette through its heart. It sounds easy, but the process is painstaking 1 1 Quote HUNTER OF ALL THINGS SHINY Intro Thread Challenge Log Bodyweight Exercise Library Recipe Book Shuffle Club Level 2 Ninja Strength: 13 Intelligence: 14 Wisdom: 6 Dexterity:14 Constitution: 12 Charisma: 11 Link to comment
Tanktimus the Encourager Posted November 2, 2020 Report Share Posted November 2, 2020 Just stole this from reddit. I just read the book 100 Things to do Before You Do. Spoiler I was quite surprised that "Yell for help" wasn't one of them. 2 Quote Current Challenge "By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath Link to comment
Renate Posted December 26, 2020 Report Share Posted December 26, 2020 Because I regularly get a chuckle out of this thread, here's my offering. (I don't know if these have been done, though.) - What do you call a snowman with a six pack? Spoiler An abdominal snowman. - What is St. Nicholas's favorite measurement in the metric system? Spoiler The Santameter! - People act like the North Pole and the South Pole are exactly the same, but really, there's a whole world of difference between them. (That's a bit of a Snowman Fallacy but I'll let it slide.) Quote Level ☆ human [uncategorizable] STR 2 | DEX 3 | CON 3 | STA 3 | WIS 6 | CHA 6 Link to comment
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