OrangeJorwell Posted February 27, 2013 Report Share Posted February 27, 2013 A polar bear and a seal are sitting on an ice floe.The polar bear looks at the seal and says, "RAWRRRRRRRRRGGG" and then kills and eats him. Other than the "What's green and has wheels" joke, this is my new favorite.Also, I love the fact that you spelled "floe" correctly. Quote Level 3 RangerSTR: 6 | DEX: 3 | STA: 9 | CON: 4 | WIS: 6 | CHA: 5 Current Challenge Link to comment
Artinum Posted February 27, 2013 Report Share Posted February 27, 2013 A polar bear and a seal are sitting on an ice floe.The polar bear looks at the seal and says, "RAWRRRRRRRRRGGG" and then kills and eats him. A polar bear and a young seal are sitting on an ice floe.The polar bear turns to the seal and asks, "wanna go clubbing?" Quote What happens when you play Final Fantasy VII with everyone called Cloud? It gets quite confusing... https://ff7crowdofclouds.wordpress.com/ Link to comment
OrangeJorwell Posted February 27, 2013 Report Share Posted February 27, 2013 A bear and a penguin and hanging out on an ice floe. The penguin asks the bear if he wants to go for a swim. The bear looks scared and tells him no. The penguin asks him why not and the bear replies, "It's easy for you to go in the water - you aren't polar!" 1 Quote Level 3 RangerSTR: 6 | DEX: 3 | STA: 9 | CON: 4 | WIS: 6 | CHA: 5 Current Challenge Link to comment
HandSewnMama Posted February 28, 2013 Report Share Posted February 28, 2013 A bear and a penguin and hanging out on an ice floe. The penguin asks the bear if he wants to go for a swim. The bear looks scared and tells him no. The penguin asks him why not and the bear replies, "It's easy for you to go in the water - you aren't polar!"*groan* I'll just put in what was a flubbed line in my sister's school play (about comedy) yesterday, but ended up being a bad joke: What's an elephant? An elephant. Quote Link to comment
Rain13 Posted February 28, 2013 Report Share Posted February 28, 2013 XD omg, yes. I'm a big fan of anti-jokes... Why did Sally fall off the swing? Cause she has no arms.*knock knock* "Who's there?" "Not Sally." A polar bear and a seal are sitting on an ice floe.The polar bear looks at the seal and says, "RAWRRRRRRRRRGGG" and then kills and eats him.these are awesome! My little brother was telling jokes like this at dinner today. Can't remember them though Quote Challenge: http://rebellion.nerdfitness.com/index.php?/topic/24724-rain13-hell-yea-im-back/#entry419693 level: 2Race: Elf | Class: Druid/Assassin | Height: 5'8 | Weight: 135lbsStrength: 7 | Dexterity: 4 | Stamina: 4 1/2 | Constitution: 6 | Wisdom: 7 | Charisma: 4 Link to comment
Nomad Jay Posted February 28, 2013 Report Share Posted February 28, 2013 With due respect to Garrison Keiler...Two penguins are standing on an ice floe. One says to the other "You look like you're wearing a tuxedo." The other says to the one "How do you know I'm not?" Quote "If you would improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid." - Epictetus "You just gotta listen to your body, unless it's saying anything about stopping, pain, your joints, or needing water." Level 20 Pilgrim (Adventurer 7, Assassin 3, Druid 2, Monk 10, Ranger 5, Rebel 9, Scout 10, Warrior 4) Link to comment
Laney Posted February 28, 2013 Report Share Posted February 28, 2013 Haha, don't worry folks, I've got more anti-jokes where those came from Your mother is so loose....You must tell me who her chiropractor is. I'm looking for one to ease the tension in my lower back. What do you call an Arab flying a 747?A pilot. 1 Quote Level 3 Time Lord AdventurerChallenge Thread| | Cosplay Blog | | Link to comment
cracked_belle Posted February 28, 2013 Report Share Posted February 28, 2013 Laney, you are my joke hero. Quote just another cracked southern belle, and a specialist in self-kintsukuroi. Current Challenge Accountability: Health & Happiness Are Hard: Wherein the Cracked_Belle Un-Dies Epic Quest: Adventures in Badassery [under construction] Spoiler There is never a sudden revelation, a complete and tidy explanation for why it happened, or why it ends, or why or who you are. You want one and I want one, but there isn't one. It comes in bits and pieces, and you stitch them together wherever they fit, and when you are done you hold yourself up, and still there are holes and you are a rag doll, invented, imperfect. And yet you are all that you have, so you must be enough. There is no other way. ― Marya Hornbacher, Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia Link to comment
Laney Posted February 28, 2013 Report Share Posted February 28, 2013 Laney, you are my joke hero. Quote Level 3 Time Lord AdventurerChallenge Thread| | Cosplay Blog | | Link to comment
OrangeJorwell Posted February 28, 2013 Report Share Posted February 28, 2013 What do you call an Arab flying a 747?A pilot. The correct answer is, "A pilot, your racist bastard." If John had 200 candy bars but ate 186 of them, what does he have now?Diabetes. Quote Level 3 RangerSTR: 6 | DEX: 3 | STA: 9 | CON: 4 | WIS: 6 | CHA: 5 Current Challenge Link to comment
slsanders2 Posted February 28, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 28, 2013 This is EXACTLY what I was looking for when I started this thread!!! If Eric has 10 candy bars and Joe wants 2, how many candy bars does Eric have? That's right 10 candy bars!! Quote Élan Scout Level 2STR-5, DEX-4.5, STA-8.25, CON-1.5, WIS-3, CHA-2I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday. Compete Everyday Link to comment
cracked_belle Posted March 1, 2013 Report Share Posted March 1, 2013 Quote just another cracked southern belle, and a specialist in self-kintsukuroi. Current Challenge Accountability: Health & Happiness Are Hard: Wherein the Cracked_Belle Un-Dies Epic Quest: Adventures in Badassery [under construction] Spoiler There is never a sudden revelation, a complete and tidy explanation for why it happened, or why it ends, or why or who you are. You want one and I want one, but there isn't one. It comes in bits and pieces, and you stitch them together wherever they fit, and when you are done you hold yourself up, and still there are holes and you are a rag doll, invented, imperfect. And yet you are all that you have, so you must be enough. There is no other way. ― Marya Hornbacher, Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia Link to comment
cracked_belle Posted March 1, 2013 Report Share Posted March 1, 2013 Quote just another cracked southern belle, and a specialist in self-kintsukuroi. Current Challenge Accountability: Health & Happiness Are Hard: Wherein the Cracked_Belle Un-Dies Epic Quest: Adventures in Badassery [under construction] Spoiler There is never a sudden revelation, a complete and tidy explanation for why it happened, or why it ends, or why or who you are. You want one and I want one, but there isn't one. It comes in bits and pieces, and you stitch them together wherever they fit, and when you are done you hold yourself up, and still there are holes and you are a rag doll, invented, imperfect. And yet you are all that you have, so you must be enough. There is no other way. ― Marya Hornbacher, Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia Link to comment
Artinum Posted March 1, 2013 Report Share Posted March 1, 2013 That joke only works in America. Here in the UK he's pronounced more like "van Goff", but I believe the correct pronunciation is more like "van Gokh". Quote What happens when you play Final Fantasy VII with everyone called Cloud? It gets quite confusing... https://ff7crowdofclouds.wordpress.com/ Link to comment
cracked_belle Posted March 1, 2013 Report Share Posted March 1, 2013 That joke only works in America. Here in the UK he's pronounced more like "van Goff", but I believe the correct pronunciation is more like "van Gokh".learn something new everyday. Quote just another cracked southern belle, and a specialist in self-kintsukuroi. Current Challenge Accountability: Health & Happiness Are Hard: Wherein the Cracked_Belle Un-Dies Epic Quest: Adventures in Badassery [under construction] Spoiler There is never a sudden revelation, a complete and tidy explanation for why it happened, or why it ends, or why or who you are. You want one and I want one, but there isn't one. It comes in bits and pieces, and you stitch them together wherever they fit, and when you are done you hold yourself up, and still there are holes and you are a rag doll, invented, imperfect. And yet you are all that you have, so you must be enough. There is no other way. ― Marya Hornbacher, Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia Link to comment
ceethegreat Posted March 21, 2013 Report Share Posted March 21, 2013 Why did Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? Fo'drizzle. 1 Quote Cee, Level 2 Wood Elf Adventurer of the Earth KingdomSTR 4.5 . DEX 1 . STA 3 . CON 5 . WIS 8.75 . CHA 4ch 0|ch 1|challenge 2 Link to comment
cracked_belle Posted May 23, 2013 Report Share Posted May 23, 2013 what did the water say to the boat?nothing; it just waved.what do you get from a pampered cow?spoiled milk.how do you organize a space party?you "planet". 1 Quote just another cracked southern belle, and a specialist in self-kintsukuroi. Current Challenge Accountability: Health & Happiness Are Hard: Wherein the Cracked_Belle Un-Dies Epic Quest: Adventures in Badassery [under construction] Spoiler There is never a sudden revelation, a complete and tidy explanation for why it happened, or why it ends, or why or who you are. You want one and I want one, but there isn't one. It comes in bits and pieces, and you stitch them together wherever they fit, and when you are done you hold yourself up, and still there are holes and you are a rag doll, invented, imperfect. And yet you are all that you have, so you must be enough. There is no other way. ― Marya Hornbacher, Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia Link to comment
girljen Posted May 23, 2013 Report Share Posted May 23, 2013 What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic?About halfway. Quote Filled with DETERMINATIONhttps://www.nerdfitness.com/character/64217 Link to comment
Relic Posted May 23, 2013 Report Share Posted May 23, 2013 yess!! I forgot about this thread! NSFW! NSFW!why did the fisherman cross the road?for the halibutwhy did the cow cross the road?he was cowmootingwhat was the last thing to go through the bugs mind when he hit the windshield?his butthow often does a chemist tell a joke?periodicallygirl: omygosh! You know who you look like?boy: no, who?girl: my next boyfriend.If I told you to take your clothes off of your body would you hold it against me?what's the square root of 69?8 somethingwhat did the blind/parapalegic orphan get for Christmascancer. Quote To find piece with myselfI must first find a piece of myself Link to comment
Artinum Posted May 23, 2013 Report Share Posted May 23, 2013 What do you call a dog with no legs?Anything you like, he still won't come. What do you call a dinosaur with diarrhoea?A reallyitchysaurass. What do you call a man with a car on his head?Jack. What do you call a man with a rocket launcher?Sir. I've been reading a book called "The History of Glue."I couldn't put it down. My pony isn't well. I had to take him to the horsepital.The doctors assure me his condition is stable and that he's just a little horse. Gregarious lions don't bother hunting. They have too much pride. I think my local camping group are psychopaths.They're so very in tents. A mongoose, a chimpanzee and a purple ostrich walk into a bar.That's the last time I mix beer and LSD... Quote What happens when you play Final Fantasy VII with everyone called Cloud? It gets quite confusing... https://ff7crowdofclouds.wordpress.com/ Link to comment
Guest asdf Posted May 24, 2013 Report Share Posted May 24, 2013 I couldn't figure out why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. Two whales are sitting in a bathtub.One whale says to the other, "AUOOOAAAAOOooooooaaAOOOAOAooouuuuuuuu......." The other whale says, "Shut up Gary, you're drunk!" Quote Link to comment
Artinum Posted May 24, 2013 Report Share Posted May 24, 2013 The local blind man doesn't understand the point of charity drives.He can't see the appeal. On the plus side, he puts up some great blinds. "Venetian?" I asked. "Nah, I'm from Bristol," he replied. Quote What happens when you play Final Fantasy VII with everyone called Cloud? It gets quite confusing... https://ff7crowdofclouds.wordpress.com/ Link to comment
AlterStephen Posted May 24, 2013 Report Share Posted May 24, 2013 My favorite joke ever: Why did the hamster cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken. Quote "First they ignore you. Then they laugh at you. Then they fight you. Then you win." —Mahatma Ghandi Link to comment
getfitdri Posted May 26, 2013 Report Share Posted May 26, 2013 Two fonts walked into a bar and the bartender told them, "Sorry, we don't serve your type here." One of them immediately replied, "Yeah? Well we don't like your face!" Then a fight broke out and they had to call the serif. Quote "The more you sweat in peace, the less you bleed in war." - Unknown "The victorious warrior wins first, then goes to war; the defeated warrior first goes to war, then seeks to win." - Sun Tzu Link to comment
Daithi Posted May 26, 2013 Report Share Posted May 26, 2013 I'll probably get in trouble for this one but. Why did the polish person cross the road? Because he took the chickens job. Quote I'm the Guy who lifts stuff. Bodyfat: 14% Weight: 74 Kilos ORM Bench press : 58 Kilos ORM Deadlift : 115 kilos ORM Squat : 75 kilos Link to comment
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