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Ba Dum Tiss (Bad Joke Thread)

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20 minutes ago, Guzzi said:


I think their horror can be more acutely summed up with this image...

Which is exactly what I cooked for dinner tonight actually. Only I cook the carrots IN the mince. Makes all the difference y’know. :D:D:D 



Nope. The meat mince thing next to the carrots isn't gray enough.

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"You come from dust and you will return to dust. That is why I don't dust, it could be somebody"


"Did you know that there is a species of Antelope capable of jumping higher than the average house ? This is due to it's powerful hind legs and the fact that the average house cannot jump."


"If video games make children more violent, why do they keep loosing fistfights against me ?"





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A biologist, an engineer, and a mathematician were observing an empty building. They noted two people entering the building and sometime later observed three coming out.


The biologist remarked, “Oh, they must have reproduced.”


The engineer said, “Our initial count must have been incorrect.”


The mathematician stated, “Now if one more person goes into the building, it will be completely empty.”

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A man, in the last moments of his life, has a vision of himself walking on a beach, viewing all the most important memories of his life. The man, as he was walking across the beach,saw that there were two sets of footprints in the sand. One belonging to him, and the other to sasquatch.

The man noticed that occasionally, there were sometimes only one set of footprints, and he also noticed that it happened at the lowest and saddest times in his life. This really bothered the man, and he asked sasquatch about it.

"Sasquatch, you said when I devoted my life to you, you'd follow me all the way. I don't understand why when I needed you the most, you would leave me."

And it was at this moment that sasquatch turned to him and replied: "HHHHHHHHHHHHNGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH"

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