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Ba Dum Tiss (Bad Joke Thread)


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"You come from dust and you will return to dust. That is why I don't dust, it could be somebody"

 

"Did you know that there is a species of Antelope capable of jumping higher than the average house ? This is due to it's powerful hind legs and the fact that the average house cannot jump."

 

"If video games make children more violent, why do they keep loosing fistfights against me ?"

 

 

 

 

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Remember that sensory deprivation causes hallucinations

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A biologist, an engineer, and a mathematician were observing an empty building. They noted two people entering the building and sometime later observed three coming out.

 

The biologist remarked, “Oh, they must have reproduced.”

 

The engineer said, “Our initial count must have been incorrect.”

 

The mathematician stated, “Now if one more person goes into the building, it will be completely empty.”

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Make Life Rue The Day                             Turning back the clock                                                Recipe book  14

 

Life is far too short to take seriously

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The three unwritten rules of life:

1:

 

2:

 

3:

 

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Level 2 Warforged Druid

STR: 2, DEX: 1, STA: 3, CON: 3, WIS: 2, CHA: 3

"If these people tell this story to their children as they sleep; then maybe someday they'll see a hero is just a man who knows he is free."

Good night and joy be to you all ~Jitters The. Clown

Current Challange: New Challenges Ahead!

Battle Log: Clowning around daily

Past Challenges: Leveling Up PvP Jump Rope Boss Continue? System Failure Systems Online Calling Rush Confirm Reset Select World Select Difficulty, Select Character, Repairs, Press Start, First Timer, Jump Rope PVP Challenge

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Has anyone heard the Fibonacci joke?  It's as bad as the last two combined.

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HUNTER OF ALL THINGS SHINY

Intro Thread    Bodyweight Exercise Library

The Arruvia Conspiracy Challenges: 1, 2, 3, 4, 567, 89, 10 

Other Challenges: 12345, 6, 7, 89, 10, 11, 1213, 14, 15 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28Mardi Gras [Current]

Level 2 Ninja

Strength: 13 Intelligence: 14 Wisdom: 6 Dexterity:14 Constitution: 12 Charisma: 11

 

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On 6/11/2019 at 11:31 PM, WhiteGhost said:

Has anyone heard the Fibonacci joke?  It's as bad as the last two combined.

You, sir, are a cad. Show yourself out!

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"If you would improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid." - Epictetus

"You just gotta listen to your body, unless it's saying anything about stopping, pain, your joints, or needing water."

Level 20 Pilgrim (Adventurer 7, Assassin 3, Druid 2, Monk 10, Ranger 5, Rebel 9, Scout 10, Warrior 4)

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A man, in the last moments of his life, has a vision of himself walking on a beach, viewing all the most important memories of his life. The man, as he was walking across the beach,saw that there were two sets of footprints in the sand. One belonging to him, and the other to sasquatch.

The man noticed that occasionally, there were sometimes only one set of footprints, and he also noticed that it happened at the lowest and saddest times in his life. This really bothered the man, and he asked sasquatch about it.

"Sasquatch, you said when I devoted my life to you, you'd follow me all the way. I don't understand why when I needed you the most, you would leave me."

And it was at this moment that sasquatch turned to him and replied: "HHHHHHHHHHHHNGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH"

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Level 2 Warforged Druid

STR: 2, DEX: 1, STA: 3, CON: 3, WIS: 2, CHA: 3

"If these people tell this story to their children as they sleep; then maybe someday they'll see a hero is just a man who knows he is free."

Good night and joy be to you all ~Jitters The. Clown

Current Challange: New Challenges Ahead!

Battle Log: Clowning around daily

Past Challenges: Leveling Up PvP Jump Rope Boss Continue? System Failure Systems Online Calling Rush Confirm Reset Select World Select Difficulty, Select Character, Repairs, Press Start, First Timer, Jump Rope PVP Challenge

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Two whales walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get you guys?" The first whale says "WOOOOAOOOOH WOOAOOAWOOOO WAOOOOWHOAAA" The second whale says "Wow Frank, you're already wasted!"

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Level 2 Warforged Druid

STR: 2, DEX: 1, STA: 3, CON: 3, WIS: 2, CHA: 3

"If these people tell this story to their children as they sleep; then maybe someday they'll see a hero is just a man who knows he is free."

Good night and joy be to you all ~Jitters The. Clown

Current Challange: New Challenges Ahead!

Battle Log: Clowning around daily

Past Challenges: Leveling Up PvP Jump Rope Boss Continue? System Failure Systems Online Calling Rush Confirm Reset Select World Select Difficulty, Select Character, Repairs, Press Start, First Timer, Jump Rope PVP Challenge

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4 out of 5 doctors is 80%.

 

Level 2 Warforged Druid

STR: 2, DEX: 1, STA: 3, CON: 3, WIS: 2, CHA: 3

"If these people tell this story to their children as they sleep; then maybe someday they'll see a hero is just a man who knows he is free."

Good night and joy be to you all ~Jitters The. Clown

Current Challange: New Challenges Ahead!

Battle Log: Clowning around daily

Past Challenges: Leveling Up PvP Jump Rope Boss Continue? System Failure Systems Online Calling Rush Confirm Reset Select World Select Difficulty, Select Character, Repairs, Press Start, First Timer, Jump Rope PVP Challenge

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Why do imaginary women wear mascara and lipstick?

 

Because they're made up.

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Book Riot Challenge 2021

“I've always believed that failure is non-existent. What is failure? You go to the end of the season, then you lose the Super Bowl. Is that failing? To most people, maybe. But when you're picking apart why you failed, and now you're learning from that, then is that really failing? I don't think so." - Kobe Bryant, 1978-2020. Rest in peace, great warrior.

Personal Challenges, a.k.a.The Saga of Scaly Freak: Tutorial; Ch 1; Ch 2; Ch 3; Ch 4; Ch 5; Ch 6; Intermission; Intermission II; Ch 7; Ch 8; Ch 9; Ch 10; Ch 11; Ch 12 ; Ch 13; Ch 14Ch 15; Ch 16; Ch 17; Intermission IIICh 18; Ch 19; Ch 20; Ch 21; Ch 22; Ch 23; Ch 24; Ch 25; Intermission IV; Ch 26; Ch 27; Ch 28; Ch 29; Ch 30

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To kill a French vampire you need to drive a baguette through its heart.

 

It sounds easy, but the process is painstaking

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HUNTER OF ALL THINGS SHINY

Intro Thread    Bodyweight Exercise Library

The Arruvia Conspiracy Challenges: 1, 2, 3, 4, 567, 89, 10 

Other Challenges: 12345, 6, 7, 89, 10, 11, 1213, 14, 15 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28Mardi Gras [Current]

Level 2 Ninja

Strength: 13 Intelligence: 14 Wisdom: 6 Dexterity:14 Constitution: 12 Charisma: 11

 

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Just stole this from reddit.

 

I just read the book 100 Things to do Before You Do.

Spoiler

I was quite surprised that "Yell for help" wasn't one of them.

 

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Current Challenge Original 1,2,3, R 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26,27,28,29,30,31,32,33,34,35,36,37,38,39,40,41,42,43,44,45,46,47,48,49,50,51

52,53,54

"By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath

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Because I regularly get a chuckle out of this thread, here's my offering. (I don't know if these have been done, though.)

 

- What do you call a snowman with a six pack?

 

Spoiler

An abdominal snowman.

 

- What is St. Nicholas's favorite measurement in the metric system?

 

Spoiler

The Santameter! 

 

- People act like the North Pole and the South Pole are exactly the same, but really, there's a whole world of difference between them.

(That's a bit of a Snowman Fallacy but I'll let it slide.)

Level ☆ human [uncategorizable]
STR 2 | DEX 3 | CON 2 | STA 3 | WIS 5 | CHA 5
Current challenge: Athena focuses on the physical | 
Battle log

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