PvS - The Honorable Order of Rebellious Appraising Yeomen

[Bekah]

It is a great gift to be able to make someone truly think about stuff with their own brains.

 

You have gotten me to think about a lot too.

hugs thank you

[Fearkiller]

49. In my core I am a good person. The dark blocks the view sometimes, but who I am deep down is not tarnished.

 

50. I think a lot of my indecision, stress and pain came from the fact I did not do anything about

those good thoughts I have a lot of. What I thought wasn't what I did and what I did was not what I thought,

adding stress to the mind and piling up in the subconscious. Like 'mind clutter'.

 

I write down all the good thoughts I think, what I learn from life and from blogs and from here, and

lately I have made a special point to do them also. Also, reading an inspirational article is wholly different when you think

you are going to take at least a tiny piece of it, and do it. I cannot stress enough the importance of action.

 

This, to 'be in deed what in thought', is making a huge difference in my life. Adding a certain trust and feel of honesty to it.

[Fearkiller]

-- --

What if I never get friends? The ones I had in the age of 12 has dropped off when not in the same schools (two out of four left now).

Royally screwed up one of the friendships so that it could not be apologized.

-- --

 

51. On a moments inspiration, I knocked on that long lost friends' door, and they still live there! I thought they had moved away.

We had a long walk together, and it seems both had fun, as we got each other updated with things that had happened on the few years away.

 

I teetered on the edge for a few seconds, should I knock or not? What if the screw up still hurts him? I feared the awkward.

But decided still to do it, because I felt I had to so I would be the person I want to be.

 

The catch here is the decision to take the uncertain way.

I know the flip side of uncertainty is a chance to hurt but despite that I want to make more of those uncertain decisions with possibly great results.

[Fearkiller]

Double posting.

 

...

 

Free hugs for all!

[Haikoo]

Love that this thread is still going I have neglected it for much too long.

[Haikoo]

Okay...I think I got to 17? But I can't remember what they were since it was more than a year ago. It will take a bit to find them and start again. Wish I had time to read everything but that would be much too overwhelming so I will just start here.

[Fearkiller]

Love that this thread is still going I have neglected it for much too long.

 

 

I, too, have been in a funk and I have a lot of catching up to do. Forgive me for not commenting on all that I missed, but I did read.

 

 

 

11. I can crochet decently and I have made some really pretty things! I am proud of me for that. I also taught myself.

12. I have nice arms. I want them to be more muscular looking, but even though I have not worked out like I should in the past couple of months, they still have a nice shapely look to them.

13. I know how to enjoy silence. That sounds weird, but I know people who cannot handle silence. In most cases, I can sit back and soak it in, or hear the small things that I don't usually get to hear.

14. My teeth are really straight. I have never had braces, they are just naturally straight. I’ve even had dentists ask me in my adulthood if I had braces as a kid.

15. I’m a happy,  silly drunk. It makes me laugh that I’m writing this. I don’t even drink that often, but when I do, I’m just giggly and maybe even humorous. I am not condoning getting drunk all the time, but I’d much rather be a good drunk than a bad drunk As far as I know, it doesn’t go to the point of annoying people.

16. I am, for the most part, forgiving. I get angry, but I find it difficult to hold a grudge for long. Rarely do I hold on to the anger. I can still find love for people who have put me through hell. I may not forget, but I do forgive.

17. I am objective. I can usually see both sides of the story which helps me to understand people (and forgive, as above). I can weigh all the options before making a decision. This sometimes makes decisions difficult to make, however.

 

I will be returning with the 7 more that I owe!!

 

 

I encourage you to continue!

Finding the light in yourself is important,

especially when it is hard.

 

*holds out a hand*

 

 ?

[Fearkiller]

Okay...I think I got to 17? But I can't remember what they were since it was more than a year ago. It will take a bit to find them and start again. Wish I had time to read everything but that would be much too overwhelming so I will just start here.

 

There you go:

 

1. I have great hair. I get frustrated and I complain about it sometimes because it has a mind of it's own. But, honestly, I can't even imagine having straight hair! I love my hair.

 

2. I am a passionate and compassionate person. When people are hurting, so am I, even though I may  not know how to express it (or even if I don't even know them). I can't even read the news without crying (which is why I avoid it most of the time). I feel emotions strongly and it overtakes me sometimes. Sometimes this gets me in trouble (as it sometimes affects my filter) but I don't think I would want to change this about me.

 

3. I am unusually intuitive. I often pick up on small things that others don't notice when it comes to people, personalities, situations, etc... I can often guess what's going on quickly and my gut feeling first impressions about people are usually right. This has been a great thing to have in life as it has probably saved me a lot of pain (in regards to relationships with people), has probably saved my life a few times. Occasionally it has spoiled  a surprise, but I usually pretend I didn't know anyway lol  

 

4. I am really good with small children, especially toddlers. I just naturally know how to handle them. I'm generally good with babies, too. Once they get older, I struggle, but that 4 and under crowd -- totally got their number.

 

5. I have grown adventurous. While I may not always seek out new adventures, if someone approaches me and says "Hey, let's go do this." I'm probably going to say yes, even if it scares me. In the past few years, I've done several mud runs (the first one involving 36 degrees and crossing a waist high creek) and a high ropes course. Many people around me think I'm nuts  but I think it's cool and will probably do more as opportunities present themselves.

 

6. I am strong minded. From a young age I had my own convictions, formed my own opinions, despite what was around me. I came through so much dysfunction as a child but still managed to decide on my own, "This is not right."  I broke the cycle. I am still amazed I came through it all without more damage. I use my brain and think about things before I form my opinions, which I honestly feel is somewhat of a rarity in these times. I am not a sheep. And I love that part of me.

 

7. My eyes are a pretty color.

 

8. I have a great musical ear. While I do not have the vocal instrument to match  (small mouth, tiny lung capacity), I can hear the music and know if it's right (flat/sharp) and I have always been able to pick out melodies on instruments. I can sing on key, just can't project and don't have a nice tone to my voice. I probably could have had more musical talent had it been fostered.

 

9. I am a realistic optimist! I get down once in a while, but once initial shock of things is over, I just know they are going to be fine. When rotten things happen to me (or those around me) I am usually great at seeing the positive and focusing on that. I say realistic because I do not deny that bad things can and will happen, and I also think about and make myself aware of the possibilities, but still choose to accentuate the positive when the day is done.

 

10. I am honest. Like someone else said of themselves, I can't lie. I'm not very good at it. Sometimes I wish I had a little bit of a filter as many people don't take the brutal truth happily. I feel extremely uncomfortable if I try to lie and I just can't live with that. I'd rather hear and say the honest truth, even if I don't like it.

 

[Bekah]

I sprinkled tons of happy thoughts about others across Nerddom challenge threads today.

[Bekah]

Revival time!!!

In case you forgot, here is how the thread works: Quoted from first post, Mily is no longer with us, but left me to manage things

In the past, I've fought against negative self talk. I've struggled to apply affirmations to my life. My self esteem has taken a beating. The thing is, even on my good days, acknowledging my positive attributes is still a challenge. Also, I'm not alone in finding this difficult.

---------

I hereby establish the Honorable Order of Rebellious Appraising Yeomen, titles and benefits to be announced at a later date. Membership in the Honorable Order of Rebellious Appraising Yeomen is dependent upon completing a rigorous apprenticeship wherein the applicant must demonstrate accurate and honest self appraisal for the duration of a challenge. The apprenticeship program is transparent and public that the members of the rebellion may come to trust our skills and judgement. To complete the apprenticeship and earn promotion to journeyman, the supplicant appraiser must post something positive about themselves to this thread each day of the challenge. Each post should contain an honest and positive self appraisal that has not previously been used by the supplicant during their apprenticeship.

I look forward to joining you in this our inaugural challenge.

---------

Updated 2014-05-02

Detailed progression of HOoRAY Ranks:

Level 1: Apprentice Yeoman

You are an apprentice the day you start your apprenticeship. As an apprentice, it is your assignment to complete 42 positive self reflections over at least 42 days, and to post them here on the HOoRAY thread. Once completed, you are officially promoted to Journeyman.

Level 2: Journeyman Yeoman

You are a journeyman once you have completed your apprenticeship and been officially promoted. As a journeyman, you may choose to continue with your positive self reflections, but it isn't required. When you feel ready, you may begin your Journeyman project. For your journeyman project, you should post 42 positive statements for others on their threads with a link to the HOoRAY thread, and post links to those comments here on the HOoRAY thread. This will spread the positive word, create visibility for HOoRAY, and potentially inspire others to begin the HOoRAY journey. Again, this should be completed over at least 42 days. Once completing the journeyman project, you are officially promoted to HOoRAY Master.

Level 3: Master Yeoman

You are a Master once you have completed your Journeyman Project and been officially promoted. As a master in the Honorable Order of Rebellious Appraising Yeomen, it is time to spread the message of positive will towards self and others outside the Rebellion. You should give kind words to those outside of NF, spread the word of positive self reflection outside of NF, and report those activities here

[Bekah]

Examples of good positive self reflection

17/42: I am resourceful. I know a little about a lot, which might or might not be a good thing , but I try to apply what I know, or think I know, in my day to day life.

18/42: I am curious to how the world and people work. I don’t think we can ever know enough about a subject.

19/42: I do pole dance. I think that’s awesome enough in itself.

20/42: I am a positive person. These last months have been rough, but I still manage to stay somewhat positive about things. I do, however, miss the positivity I possessed before

[killertofu]

I am jumping into this head strong and I hope other will follow because this is freaking awesome.

 

1) I keep a garden in my yard and I tend it well.  I pour countless hours of love into my garden and no one could care for it more than I do.  

 

xoxo

[Fearkiller]

Ah. HOoRAY. Long time no see.

 

@Bekah How does the official promotion work?

And it was a long time ago that I completed those 42.

I could continue them, but how does HOoRAY differ from gratitude?

Self-appraisal - from within,

Gratitude - from external events?

 

Later on I could start spreading HOoRAY around,

but for now I need to postpone it. It'd feel like an another

requirement and deadline, though that's not the intention.

 

I am jumping into this head strong and I hope other will follow because this is freaking awesome.

 

1) I keep a garden in my yard and I tend it well.  I pour countless hours of love into my garden and no one could care for it more than I do.  

 

xoxo

Hi! I'm happy to see you here as well. Nice!

 

[self-appraisals coming soon]

[Tigera]

OMFG I love this.  It goes perfectly with my challenge, too.  I'm in 

 

1) I'm smart.  That's a thing I've always been confident in, probably because it's more cut-and-dried, more provable than other aspects of life.  If I put in the effort to learn something, I can do so very effectively.

[Detrix]

Definitively riding this positive wave! 

 

I have had depressive days in the past, but I've discovered exerscice sets me free from its tight grasp. 

So here I am doing a little inner digging. 

 

I will only use prime numbers for my daily reflections, cause Cristopher. 

 

1.- I am a dreamer, and have never been afraid to dream big. I was born in my dreams.

 

- dtx

[Detrix]

3.- I am a sharp and highly analytical dude. Glad to use this superpowers to help others. 

-dtx

[Bekah]

Ah. HOoRAY. Long time no see.

 

@Bekah How does the official promotion work?

And it was a long time ago that I completed those 42.

I could continue them, but how does HOoRAY differ from gratitude?

Self-appraisal - from within,

Gratitude - from external events?

 

EXACTLY You got it Gratitude is things you are grateful for outside of your control, Self appraisal is things you DID/DO/THINK/FEEL that are awesome  

 

Later on I could start spreading HOoRAY around,

but for now I need to postpone it. It'd feel like an another

requirement and deadline, though that's not the intention.

 

this is totally fine. I am still doing daily self appraisals too, and need to remember to post them here. I try to spread the appraisals so it comes kind of naturally to me, but I forget to do them for myself...weird huh? And I need to do a gratitude posting daily, there is a thread for that too you know? 

3 Things

 

 

 

[Bekah]

1. I am trying to begin giving back!

I started a GoFundMe for yoga teacher training I plan to Specifically teach yoga to those with mental or physical disabilties.

http://www.gofundme.com/BekahTheYogi

2. I make hard choices bc they are the best ones, even though it's not the easier choice.

3. I love being an Ambassador for Nerd Fitness

[Fearkiller]

So, I made HOoRAY a part of my challenge again.

Hoping this will help with the whole self-judgement and shame thing.

 

42.1 I could lie. Spin up a tale of misfortune and bad luck as to why I haven't done

the schoolwork. But I won't.

[Fearkiller]

So, in 2 weeks I have gotten only a few entries. There just isn't a good thought about myself,

even if I try

 

42.2

- Every time I tell something through the fear and shame, which would rather me

tell no one, suffer alone, just shut the hell up!

I am becoming a little bit more who I am.

 

42.3

- As the schoolstress went down, I no longer obsess over suicide nearly as much as in May.

At least today I am cautiously hopeful.

 

42.4

- I did not beat myself up for a wasted day

 

42.5

- I wrote a short story today. It is still in the works,
but the bottom line is that I could enjoy writing even if I
do not ever publish anything. The goal is to have it for the world to read.
Even free, I wouldn't mind. It is quite fun as it is, too.

[Fearkiller]

42.6 Finding interesting moral gray areas in myself, that would be... uncomfortable

if other people knew, and... being okay with those parts of myself.

[Fearkiller]

42.7 - I brought up a very sensitive topic with a friend today (Jun 25), and did not edit away

the messsage, though I feared it might blow up at my face. But she took it gracefully,

so all is well. 

 

42.8 - Did write at least something. It is not at all

what it looks like in my mind, but a start.