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catspaw

Catspaw's Lithe like a Leopardess Challenge

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Sometimes things happen that are beyond our control despite our best efforts. No one here would doubt you always give an A for effort, so chin up and we'll be here for you =]

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Booooo! No luck finding anyone in the paleo physicians network? I imagine there's a lot of territory to cover so it may not be so realistic heh.

 

But mostly, I'm sorry you're having these troubles. I know how frustrating and annoying health issues can be.. wishing you speedy diagnostics and recovery.  I fully expect you and all your awesome will handle this situation in a way that can only be described as painfully inspirational :)

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Booooo! No luck finding anyone in the paleo physicians network? I imagine there's a lot of territory to cover so it may not be so realistic heh.

Chris Kresser is located in San Fran. He's ridiculously expensive though.

Looked at doing some treatment with him and about died from the cost estimate.

That's about the only downside to the paleo physicians network...but then again, if you're paying cash for services anyway...

Hope it all works out catspaw. :)

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Updaaaaaates. So this all feels a little personal to be putting on a public internet forum, but usually when I obsess about whether or not to post something, I'm later glad that I did. So here goes.

These recent health issues have been a tricky, trying process. My hypothalamus seems to be pretty messed up, which I already knew, since years ago it stopped sending signals to my body to produce estrogen. I played the "fix the symptoms" card with it, and started taking low dose estrogen (aka birth control) for the last year and a half, as advised by my ob/gyn.

Well apparently it's more messed up than just that. You know how I can eat more than well, like, everyone? Apparently this might be why too. I'm just genuinely not getting the right metabolic signals from my brain. It also may explain why my bulking calories are SO different from my cutting calories -- my body's not regulating it's metabolism properly to sync up with the amount of food it's receiving.

There's more too. My cartel of doctors are pretty sure I have some major depression and anxiety disorders. "But I didn't start feeling depressed and anxious until a few weeks ago," I disagreed. The specialist claims I just have "extremely well-managed" issues. Without knowing it, I've been distancing myself from anything that can cause anxiety -- remember how I quit my high-ranking Google job a few years ago? I've placed myself into a low-anxiety work situation, a low-anxiety relationship, I take magnesium to sleep well, I do regular exercise to get that post-exercise high, and I walk around a TON. I did each of these things because they helped me feel better, and may have been managing these symptoms without knowing there was an underlying cause. Apparently going from extremely high performer my whole life and suddenly quitting my job and actively avoiding stressful situations is a classic sign of these things.

There's a bit of a chicken-and-egg thing here: lack estrogen can cause these issues, and these issues can cause low estrogen.

The current theory is that I had some sort of event -- possibly a severe allergic reaction to something in my environment -- that caused my emotional support system to break down, and suddenly all these issues presented themselves at once. I couldn't function, my headaches exploded, I started getting bizzarre crippling panic attacks and just wanted to curl up and die. The nasal steroids I started taking may have made matters worse, since the hypothalamus is particularly sensitive to steroids.

So what now? Well, there's still a bunch of diagnostics that need to happen over the next week or two. There's lots of symptom-management stuff available, but treating the underlying causes can be "tricky" because apparently we have a poor understanding of what makes these things break and thus how to fix them. Effective treatments vary from "gain 10-15 lbs" to acupuncture to a variety of experimental stuff. It's definitely not a "take two of these and call me in the morning" type of thing.

The good news is that I feel less crazy. For a while there, it felt like the walls of my sanity were crumbling. Having a working theory at least makes me feel better. :)

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Wow, lady. That's some heavy stuff. I'm glad you have a working theory because you are definitely not crazy, but I can understand how some of those feelings might make you think you are.

 

I dunno what to say about the depression stuff. I mean, if you can manage it on your own - and obviously you can/do - then that's fantastic! I hope they don't decide you need to be on antidepressants just because you've suddenly been diagnosed with depression. I WISH I could get to a place where I could self-regulate.

 

Anyway. Lots of hugs and thoughts headed your way. You are amazing. Keep your head up! You know your nerds are here for you :)

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Wow. 

thanks for putting all of that out there.

when i finally saw an MD for my depression/anxiety, i got the same line. but due to my familial issues i need meds. not sure if you will too, but, hopefully you can figure out a good plan of action. what's great, is that you've managed so well, so far. 

 

lots of hugs your way.

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 Having a working theory at least makes me feel better. :)

 

 

Time for experiments? For science? 

 

Knowledge is always the first step towards figuring shit out and it sounds like the docs have dropped a big big bomb of knowledge on ya. Hope things progress and we're always here for ya. 

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Cats, not sure if you realize it or not, but the doctors basically gave you a HAYUGE compliment.

 

I mean, they were all "here's a list of debilitating things you've had for forever!"

 

Cats: "But I couldn't tell I had them, too busy kicking ass!"

 

Doc: "Well that's the thing! Apparently you kicked so much ass, you accidentally kicked the things IN THE FACE!"

 

Cats: "Cool, so what now, continue kicking?"

 

Doc: "Take two of these, and make sure it's IN THE FACE!"

 

But no really, I'm sure that with the proper help, you shall continue to be awesome. N stuff.

 

Mostly awesome.

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+1 to what AJ said. For serious.

 

Thanks so much for sharing.  What you've got going on is definitely a little scary but I'm so happy that you're finding some answers. 

 

But mostly, seriously, thank you so much for sharing this with us.  We <3 You.

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There's more too. My cartel of doctors are pretty sure I have some major depression and anxiety disorders. "But I didn't start feeling depressed and anxious until a few weeks ago," I disagreed. The specialist claims I just have "extremely well-managed" issues. Without knowing it, I've been distancing myself from anything that can cause anxiety -- remember how I quit my high-ranking Google job a few years ago? I've placed myself into a low-anxiety work situation, a low-anxiety relationship, I take magnesium to sleep well, I do regular exercise to get that post-exercise high, and I walk around a TON. I did each of these things because they helped me feel better, and may have been managing these symptoms without knowing there was an underlying cause. Apparently going from extremely high performer my whole life and suddenly quitting my job and actively avoiding stressful situations is a classic sign of these things.

 

I had something of a meltdown in 2010, triggered by my terrible job -- I THOUGHT it was just the job and nothing else.  I got on anti-depressants "temporarily" to get me through the rough spot.  Once they kicked in, I realized I'd had terrible anxiety my whole life and no one knew.  I thought I was normal, and all the constant walking/sleep schedules/low-stress work situations were just a normal way to live a good life.  But so much of the noise in my brain that I was trying to cover up just went away after the pills.

 

I still can do all the good things to keep my anxiety in check, but I have more options.  I choose to do them now -- they're not necessary to survive.  There's a lot less pressure when the anti-anxiety methods are a choice.

 

Anyway, long story short: I'm really glad you got someone who recognized what's going on for you!  It sounds like your medical people are really paying attention, to see below your kick-ass coping.  I bet you'll come through your Surprise! Anxiety diagnosis pretty darn well.

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So many aspects of this are eerily similar to what I went through before finding NF, including me taking a 60% pay cut to leave a stressful management job for a very low stress leave-your-work-at-work job.

 

After a year of diagnostics we are sure steroids were the final tipping point to make me go from "I feel a little off" to full cascade of anxiety/panic attacks, depression, physical discomfort, various hormones all over the place.  I was very lucky to find an internal medicine doctor that believed my claims of "feeling tired all the time" actually meant something, and who agreed with me that the emotional symptoms were related to the physical so didn't jump straight to medication (which for me wouldn't have treated the underlying hormonal problem and may have even caused more issues).  Initially was put on increasing doses of birth control, and eating a diet that was essentially Paleo on a schedule to heal adrenal response and make sure I got a LOT of dietary fat. 

 

I've gotten a LOT of feedback from various physicians since that because I (and you, and other otherwise "healthy" people!) am able to function in spite of incredible fatigue, depression, and debilitating pain the reporting of symptoms was often minimized or dismissed entirely. 

 

 

Ugh, I didn't mean this to be all "OMG ME TOO ME TOO" -- I just want you to know that there ARE docs out there that do understand the body functions as a whole, and your talent for recording data and sticking to a program is a huge benefit.  I'm so glad you are getting answers!!

 

Hugs!!!!

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Super heavy stuff there.  Thanks for sharing.  I hope that the diagnostics provide some more answers and a plan of action.  Sending all the good thoughts in the world your way.

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Hey Cat, that's some rough stuff. You will kick it in the teeth, though, as others have said better. If you are in the Bay, you might look for a good Naturopath at some point as well, I know of many who have had good result on similiar things with them. All the best.

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