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After weight loss - the psychology


Zorch

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I think the topic of psychology around and after weight loss is an incredibly interesting subject - not just the psychology that leads to obesity and how to achieve weight loss by reversing it, but also the realignment of one's mental self with one's physical self after achieving and sustaining significant weight loss.

 

There was a podcast I listened to recently that really made me say "damn, nailed it".  Beware that this podcast is very much from a male perspective(I'm sure that the details vary for women, but the over-arching message probably applies.), and contains some colorful language - but speaking from the perspective of someone who's been through it, adjusting the way you see yourself and how you act to be inline with how others see you is a tough, tough process.

 

I'd be interesting in hearing others' thoughts around the topic as well.  I know realignment of my self-image with my physical appearance is an ongoing process for me, despite the fact that my weight is the same as it was 3 1/2 years ago at this point.  The sad reality is that for many of us, myself included, fixing the physical stuff is a far simpler task than realigning one's mind.

 

Anyhow, the podcast is at:  http://www.fatburningman.com/john-romaniello-man-2-0/

 

"Restlessness is discontent - and discontent is the first necessity of progress. Show me a thoroughly satisfied man-and I will show you a failure." -Thomas Edison

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Thanks for posting that - an interesting listen.  In some ways it was hard for me to relate to, because no amount of weight loss will make me attractive, and those guys sounded like bodybuilders, which I'm not and will never be.  A thin ugly duckling is better than a fat ugly duckling, but still isn't a swan.

 

But it was useful to think in terms of preparing for and thinking about the consequences of success, and about what comes next, and about how good is good enough. 

 Level 4 Human Adventurer / Level 4 Scout, couch to 5k graduate, six time marathon finisher.

Spoiler

 

Current 5k Personal Best: 22:00 / 21:23 / 21:13 / 21:09 / 20:55 / 20:25 (4th July 17)

Current 5 mile PB: 36:41 35:27 34:52 (10th May 17)

Current 10k PB: 44:58 44:27 44:07 44:06 43:50 (29th June 17)

Current Half Marathon PB: 1:41:54 1:38:24 1:37:47 1:37:41 (14th June 15)

Current Marathon PB: 3:39:34 3:29:49 (10th April 16)

 

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Interesting listen, especially the 'internal fat kid' part. Has anyone here gone through this? How do you deal with having newfound confidence and opportunities? With never having any attention from women to, well, some?

 

I'm actually afraid of the mental changes. Started training physically because it's easier, and partly as a stall tactic (my personality needs serious work). But it's something I have to address someday and it scares the hell out of me.

Adventurer Lv. 1

20/100 EXP

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Wow.  That was a really interesting podcast.  It definitely helped my morning zip by a bit easier.  He definitely grabbed my attention the moment he started talking about the monomyth and other fantastically geeky points of view.  Dumb jock he is not.

 

I feel like I'm starting to hit the point he was talking about early on - where you've noticeably lost weight and people around you are commenting on it.  I don't really go out much, so if this makes things easier when dealing with the fairer sex.... who the hell knows.  I'm a shy bugger to begin with, so I'll probably end up just like his summer post-weight loss story.  Meh.  Anyway, I still definitely feel like a "fat guy," even though I've lost close to 40 pound (with a goal of another 15 or so to lose) and people I've known as now constantly telling me how skinny I look (I'm really not.  Wearing a size 36 isn't exactly skinny.  Though I think I've illustrated his point on the matter...).  But while I know I've shrunk, I think I still have that mentality because I still have more goals to hit.  When I get down to 200 pounds, then I'll feel accomplished and skinny.  When I start contemplating body composition goals, rather than simple weight-and-measurement goals, then I'll be skinny.  Actually, at those points I may actually classify as "fit," but I'm okay with keeping that as "skinny" in my books. :)

RisenPhoenix, the Entish Aikidoka

Challenge: RisenPhoenix Turns to Ash

 

"The essence of koryu [...is] you offer your loyalty to something that you choose to regard as greater than yourself so that you will, someday, be able to offer service to something that truly is transcendent." ~ Ellis Amdur, Old School

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Loved that.  He seemed really down to earth and smart.  Quite a cool combination.  If, by some unbelievable chance, I ever become attractive to the fairer sex, I fear its too late.  I'm already married.  Thankfully she was better looking than me when we hooked up, so maybe I'll just even it out.

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Thanks for posting that - an interesting listen.  In some ways it was hard for me to relate to, because no amount of weight loss will make me attractive, and those guys sounded like bodybuilders, which I'm not and will never be.  A thin ugly duckling is better than a fat ugly duckling, but still isn't a swan.

 

But it was useful to think in terms of preparing for and thinking about the consequences of success, and about what comes next, and about how good is good enough. 

 

I really only had a chance to listen to part of it and I certainly agree. I lost a ton of weight myself and became much more attractive to the opposite sex.

 

With that said, Rostov, this is a terrible attitude my friend. The most attractive thing to a woman is confidence. If you have that, you have it all. You don't have to be a John Romaniello to be attractive. Get in good shape, take care of yourself, care about your appearance and you'll be surprised at how far that gets you.

"I've torn a hamstring tendon and re-injured my knee, lower back, and upper back while doing yoga. Don't get me started on shin splints. You're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't, so might as well be strong." - Some guy on the SS forums.

"Heavy is dangerous, but light is no fun." - Mark Rippetoe

"Squats are a good assistance to bring up your curl, as a bonus you can do your squats while your are still in the curl rack." - SJB

 

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Certainly confidence is important.... and I'd add charm and charisma to that as well... but there's only so far it'll go.  Confidence and charm and personality are the only reasons I've ever had any female interest at all, and I'm only ever going to be something of an acquired taste.  It hasn't escaped my notice that my last two girlfriends both met me when I had a formal or informal leadership/management role. 

 

Losing the weight has given me more confidence and will make me more attractive.  I'm a little less of an acquired taste these days, but, as I said... ugly duckling.  Having said that, my last girlfriend was (and is) one of the best human beings on the planet, so I take comfort from the fact that she saw something in me.

 Level 4 Human Adventurer / Level 4 Scout, couch to 5k graduate, six time marathon finisher.

Spoiler

 

Current 5k Personal Best: 22:00 / 21:23 / 21:13 / 21:09 / 20:55 / 20:25 (4th July 17)

Current 5 mile PB: 36:41 35:27 34:52 (10th May 17)

Current 10k PB: 44:58 44:27 44:07 44:06 43:50 (29th June 17)

Current Half Marathon PB: 1:41:54 1:38:24 1:37:47 1:37:41 (14th June 15)

Current Marathon PB: 3:39:34 3:29:49 (10th April 16)

 

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