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milythael

Milythael - The Healthy Habits Hobble

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You guys are all too kind. Thank you for your support.

I'm struggling a lot. What little I do get done rarely seems like enough, but I'm not always down. This morning before work, I just wanted to play. I did supports on a couple of bike racks, and on the back of a bench. I climbed around on the structure at the bus stop. I did some leg assisted dips. Above all, I moved. A bit of dance, a lot of simple play. I wish I were more comfortable in front of people, but I worked up quite a sweat, even before my first bus arrived.

 

Playing is wonderful!! :) If it makes you happy, go for it!! Especially if its fun and active ;)

 

OMG, yesterday, while I was in the playful mood, I noticed there was a spot that looked great for practicing handstands where I wait between buses. Today, I checked it out and it is even better than I could have imagined. Flat, level, smooth concrete ground. A solid brick wall for support. Out of the way of any foot traffic, especially before 6 am. A line in the concrete about 16 inches from the wall running parallel to the wall, which makes a great visual queue for hand placement and plenty of space. The only negative is stepping across the soggy ditch to get to it.

 

Thats awesome that you found a spot for handstands!! Finding time to get physical activity in during the minutes you are waiting for a bus is an awesome way to optimize your time :D

 

I really don't know how to get anything done in the evening. I'm so completely obliterated by the time I get home. And I've been reminded today that I haven't done anything on Rising Heroes since the day I got my job offer. I feel like I'm failing on every front, but you guys keep saying you are impressed. I really don't understand.

 

Remember how Steve is always saying that we only have so much willpower? Just remember that! You are giving life all the will power that you have. Getting little workouts in at the bus stop and making small steps towards getting your house to be livable. These are all so important. Focus on the things that you can do and try not to worry as much about the things that you can't. Maybe consider canceling one of your goals completely. I find that if I stretch myself too thin, nothing is up to my high standards, but if I accept that I can't do everything and pick smaller things to focus on, it seems to help. You could even replace hand balancing with a goal like "do one thing per day towards making my house more livable."

 

Not sure if any of that helped but just remember, we all love you and are rooting for you *hugs*!!!

 

Mily, sometimes I feel you're actually my clone :D I'm pretty sure I could quote you in some of my thread and it would be right on spot in yours. Anyway, I promised to write you a how-to. So here it is!

 

Nuala's bento tips.

 

Don't be hated by your tomorrow self

Do it now, never say "I'll do it tomorrow morning" Your box have to be clean in the evening so it will be ready to use in the morning. If you can start filling it in the evening, do it! I often only have the fruits to prepare/add in the morning. Take a moment in the evening to make sure you have enough in stock and that there are no ingredients waiting to be prepared. And just do it now :)

 

Nuala, this was absolutely amazing!!

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Mily, sometimes I feel you're actually my clone :D I'm pretty sure I could quote you in some of my thread and it would be right on spot in yours. Anyway, I promised to write you a how-to. So here it is!

 

Nuala's bento tips.

Seriously, this should be a blog post on the main Nerd Fitness blog. Thank you so very much for writing this for me. With such great tips and advice, perhaps in a couple months, I will be a bento master like you. Really, hugs, massages, lucky clovers, none would be enough to show you how much I appreciate this. I hope some day I can be as helpful to you as you have been to me.

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Week 2 Day 5

1. Daily Handbalancing 2/12 (36)

2. Daily Pool 9/12 (42)

4. Attendance 10/10 (30)

I'm working on pulling my feet off the wall once I'm set. I alternate which leg I start off. It is really hard to see in these light levels. You can see the bus stop at the start of the video.

Between the handstands and the supports, my back is screaming today. Mostly the supports and support shrugs, I think.

A bit of good news, I got my first paycheck today. It was a half check, but it was also two weeks ahead of when I'd been told to expect my first check, and the money was very much needed. My stress level is appreciably lower now.

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Week 2 Day

1. Daily Handbalancing 3/12 (36)
2. Daily Pool 11/13 (42) +1
4. Attendance 10/10 (30)

I've been saving this for a while, but the +1 is tracking how many make up days I've had.

Today, I used the pool twice, so one make up day is +1. It helps me track how well I meet the daily goal independent of how many I actually count.


So, I may have been drunk and finally done some handstands in my apartment. When doing handstand shrugs, your elbows shouldn't bend. I got that part wrong.

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Week 2 Day 7

1. Daily Handbalancing 7/12 (36) +3
2. Daily Pool 13/14 (42) +2
4. Attendance 10/10 (30)

Today, I practiced handstands on and off, pretty much all day long. Back to the wall, I can place my fingers about 3 inches from the wall and hold the handstand well. I did some belly to the wall practice as well as starting to work on my press up to the wall handstand by lowering my legs in a straddle as far as I could with control.  I'm already regaining some of my control in the kick up, and I am not slamming into the wall anymore.

I used the pool twice, once around 9 am, and again after running at around 8 pm. At 9 am, I floated on my back with my eyes closed and focused on my breathing for 100 breaths. This should count as a pretty good meditation as well.

I started a 5K training program today. I ended up running about 2 miles in 24 minutes with some cool down walk afterwards. You can see the activity on RunKeeper.

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I started a 5K training program today. I ended up running about 2 miles in 24 minutes with some cool down walk afterwards. You can see the activity on RunKeeper.

You are phenomenal, running 2 miles after all the rest of that...just so you don't go around thinking you aren't the definition of badass-ness or something. :) I'm so proud of you!!! It feels pretty freaking great to be doing it too, I'd imagine.

Seriously awed by all the shit you are accomplishing at the moment.

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Week 3 Day 1

1. Daily Handbalancing 8/13 (36) +3

2. Daily Pool 14/15 (42) +2

4. Attendance 11/11 (30)

Terrible work day. All the way in to the office, I wanted to get off the bus and leave. I literally counted the remaining minutes the entire day. Even at lunch time, I very nearly got on a random bus. I would have called in sick at any of my last four jobs.

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Week 3 Day 1.5

1. Daily Handbalancing 9/14 (36) +3

2. Daily Pool 14/15 (42) +2

4. Attendance 12/12 (30)

My body is unhappy today. Low strength, severe DOMS, exhaustion, low appetite. I worked on one arm skills today for my handstand work, but the strength and balance were not there. I even ended up doing a one arm bail which has never happened before and was very scary. Before, I've always been able to put the other hand back down before bailing.

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Please Mily be careful!! Don't go doing crazy one arm work when you can feel you don't have the strength for it or you're going to get hurt... TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF and don't push yourself to extreme limits when you don't feel 219% ready for it.

 

That being said, I'm so proud of you for keeping the attendance and pool up! It's awesome!!

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Week 3 Day 2

1. Daily Hand Balancing 10/14 (36) +4

2. Daily Pool 15/16 (42) +2

4. Attendance 12/12 (30)

Updated hand balancing and pool numbers.

Continuing the theme of sheer exhaustion. I'm too tired to cook tonight, and might be too tired to order food. Somehow, I will find the energy to run.

Despite complete exhaustion, I had an excellent kick up to a handstand back to the wall. My feet were in control and I was balanced for probably the last 20% of the movement, and I actually had to push hard with my palms to get me feet all the way to the wall. I also finished with a good 5 second hold off the wall before I came back down. I also did frog stand for the assassin mini challenge. Where I would usually do a frog / crow stand with my knees alongside my elbows and all of my weight resting on my arms, this time I chose a higher position with the points of my knees above the elbow directly on the arm. The higher position was a little frightening, and my balance was not as good, but this was a huge skill improvement over my usual position. The first one lasted about 5 seconds and resulted in a cramp in my abs. The second was about 5 seconds and I really felt the higher position demanding more balance. The third and final hold was also about 5 seconds, but ended with me over balancing face first. A simple tuck of the head and roll later and everything was good. I've never been able to hold the position this high before, so that was exciting progress. I'm looking forward to seeing what I can do when I'm not half dead tired.

In the pool today, I couldn't even hold my breath long enough to get two pool toys from each end of the pool. My stamina is incredibly low today. I can usually hold my breath for at least 60 seconds, but 20 was a big stretch.

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Get some sleep! Do some of that self-care stuff we talked about.

 

You are doing so great on attendance...I am incredibly proud of you. Keep at it!

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I couldn't be prouder of you for what you are doing, but i second (and third and fourth) whatever self care that you and Mir discussed. You need recharge time just as much as you need oxygen, and it's okay to need a break and take it. You have now been granted permission! We can start a self care sticker chart for you if it will help..lol :) You are a badass. full stop.

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Week 3 Day 2.5

1. Daily Hand Balancing 11/15 (36) +4
2. Daily Pool 15/16 (42) +2
4. Attendance 13/13 (30)

Updated 1 and 4.

I started a 5k training program via RunKeeper on Sunday. Yesterday was the second run, but I missed it last night. I made up for that by running this morning at around 3 am. I ran 2.41 miles in 30 minutes. The workout was 5 minutes of warm up followed by intervals of 60 seconds faster, 90 seconds slower.  I ran the fast intervals at about 8 miles per hour.  I walked the slow intervals, at about 4 miles per hour.  The activity also includes 5 minutes or so of post run walking.  I still had to get back to my apartment after all.

 

This morning, for hand balancing practice, I held a handstand back to the wall, rather close (fingers 4-6 inches from the wall), and worked on using my hands to pull my feet away from the wall rather than stepping off to get set.  I really felt the balance point in my hands a lot more this way than with the one foot off, pull the other foot to it technique I was using before.  I felt like I spent way more time feeling the sweet spot in my balance.  I also threw in a couple of my new modified frog stand with the points of my knees directly on my arms above the elbow.  I couldn't hold it long because of how tired I was, but I'm pretty excited by the possibilities this gives me in moving towards a crane pose, and in starting to develop some advanced frog stands.

 

This was the third day in a row that I probably would have called in sick if it weren't for my attendance goal.  As my frustration mounts with the lack of support my team gives to new developers, and with systemic bad practices, I can already feel the emotional drains on my concentration and focus.

 

My next challenge will probably include a diet goal as my kitchen is very nearly supplied with enough cooking supplies for sustained food production operations.  Bento lunches will be key for regaining control over my diet at work.  Right now, I'm living on caffeine and carbs from the time I get off the bus at 6 am until I get home again, and this is having the expected detrimental affects on my home diet as well as I have less energy and more cravings.

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My good friend Loren Wade is encouraging everyone to summarize their respective journeys.  I thought I would give it a try.

 

In the past 19 months, I have lived in 4 places, had 3 different jobs, been unemployed twice, found Nerd Fitness, and developed friendships that I hope will last for life.

 

My weight has fluctuated between the highest of the high at nearly 300 lbs and the lowest of the low at 257 lbs.  Unfortunately, the highest high is more recent than the lowest low.  Yeah, I went backwards for a while.

 

At one point, I was essentially a shut in going nearly 4 months without leaving my apartment except to walk to work which was only a half mile from my door.  I ate nothing that wasn't ordered by computer and delivered to my door.  Fortunately, Schwan's delivered to me, so at least I didn't subsist on pizza all the time.  Since then, I've done a Whole 30, I've been mostly paleo a few times, and I've eaten pretty much whatever a few times too, generally as I was going backwards.  Now, I'm committed to a mostly paleo lifestyle, but I'm struggling to match my choices to my life as I get settled in a new place, new job, and start my belongings over from scratch.  I actually prefer paleo foods to non-paleo foods, but availability is a bitch.  The standard American diet makes me SAD.

 

Back in March or April of last year, I was hit by a pickup truck as I walked to work.  Over the course of my medical exam, I learned my weight was at its then highest, and my blood pressure was insane. The doctor at the ER may have said, "yes, you have a bad bruise on your arm, but your blood pressure is going to kill you."  This prompted a lot of my transformation over the last year.  If I were a responsible person, I would be tracking my blood pressure, but I'm not and I don't.  I know my body well enough to know that when I've been moving backwards, it has gone up, but when my diet is under control and I'm exercising regularly, it is pretty good.  This is primarily confirmed by my lack of BP related headaches, and my tolerance for heat.  If you didn't know, people with high blood pressure tend to feel heat a lot more than people with normal blood pressure, and this probably explains why I kept my apartment below 64 F while I was in Florida last year.

 

The most visible transformation has probably been strength, and is most clearly evidenced in my shoulders.  A year ago, my shoulders looked like melting taffy.  Really, it was terrible.  Now, my shoulders look great.  Like, "damn, that is sexy" great.  I occasionally notice them when I towel off my hair after a shower, and they are remarkable.  I'd wonder where they came from, but it would be disingenuous.  I know where they came from, handstands and crow pose.  My handstand practice is stronger right now than at any point in my life.  My core is also wicked strong, and well, you guys have seen my legs.  I'm still a long ways from pistols and shrimp squats, but give it time.

 

The most remarkable transformation, however, has been emotional.  As late as February or March of 2012, I was still borderline suicidal.  Most of you who follow my thread are aware that I have emotional ups and downs, and many of you have seen my PvP threads which invariably relate to my battle with depression.  My battles with depression these days are generally of the life sucks and I have no energy variety.  They are most definitely not the life threatening, praying for death nightly, lacking the will to live, variety that they were barely more than a year ago.  The encouragement, help, and support that I have gotten from this community plays a major part in my progress on this front, and I can't thank you all enough, or show you nearly enough appreciation.  I try to be open and honest about how I'm doing and how I'm feeling, because I sincerely believe this is key to not only helping myself, but also to helping someone else who may just need that one story to turn their life around.  Please don't think this means I don't appreciate how far I've come, or that I've given up and stopped fighting.

 

The thing that makes me happiest in all of this is how often I can inspire, support, or comfort others.  While I've completely lost my passion for my current career of software development, my eyes are open wide to the new possibility of helping other people, if only I can figure out how or where.  I make low quality exercise videos ( http://bit.ly/milythael-nerdfitness ) to fill in the gap and show people that you don't have to already be fit to attempt more than you are doing.  I honestly can't count how many people have told me that I inspired them to try something, or to start working on headstands or handstands.  I write PvP threads that touch the lives of the people involved and in a real way help them find more happiness.  And, I reach out to people I care about.  I notice people and I give them love.  More than once, this has given someone who was struggling the extra encouragement they needed in a bad time.

 

My transformation is by no means over.  I have much fat to lose, much strength to gain, many miles to travel, and much emotional baggage to get over.  But, and this is a pretty damn big but, my feet are on the right path, and while there are some switchbacks, I will get there in the end.

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I dont even have words to express my thoughts about your story, ans smileys and hearts dont do it justice. you are a really special man and the world is better because you are in it.

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I used the pool twice, once around 9 am, and again after running at around 8 pm. At 9 am, I floated on my back with my eyes closed and focused on my breathing for 100 breaths. This should count as a pretty good meditation as well.

 

Your pool time sounds amazing!! So relaxing. Definitely what you need after a long day :D

 

Terrible work day. All the way in to the office, I wanted to get off the bus and leave. I literally counted the remaining minutes the entire day. Even at lunch time, I very nearly got on a random bus. I would have called in sick at any of my last four jobs.

 

SOOOO incredibly proud that you stuck it out. *HUGS*  :victorious:

 

My next challenge will probably include a diet goal as my kitchen is very nearly supplied with enough cooking supplies for sustained food production operations.  Bento lunches will be key for regaining control over my diet at work.  Right now, I'm living on caffeine and carbs from the time I get off the bus at 6 am until I get home again, and this is having the expected detrimental affects on my home diet as well as I have less energy and more cravings.

 

This sounds like a great plan!! I know you will get back on track :D

 

My good friend Loren Wade is encouraging everyone to summarize their respective journeys.  I thought I would give it a try.

 

In the past 19 months, I have lived in 4 places, had 3 different jobs, been unemployed twice, found Nerd Fitness, and developed friendships that I hope will last for life.

 

My weight has fluctuated between the highest of the high at nearly 300 lbs and the lowest of the low at 257 lbs.  Unfortunately, the highest high is more recent than the lowest low.  Yeah, I went backwards for a while.

 

At one point, I was essentially a shut in going nearly 4 months without leaving my apartment except to walk to work which was only a half mile from my door.  I ate nothing that wasn't ordered by computer and delivered to my door.  Fortunately, Schwan's delivered to me, so at least I didn't subsist on pizza all the time.  Since then, I've done a Whole 30, I've been mostly paleo a few times, and I've eaten pretty much whatever a few times too, generally as I was going backwards.  Now, I'm committed to a mostly paleo lifestyle, but I'm struggling to match my choices to my life as I get settled in a new place, new job, and start my belongings over from scratch.  I actually prefer paleo foods to non-paleo foods, but availability is a bitch.  The standard American diet makes me SAD.

 

Back in March or April of last year, I was hit by a pickup truck as I walked to work.  Over the course of my medical exam, I learned my weight was at its then highest, and my blood pressure was insane. The doctor at the ER may have said, "yes, you have a bad bruise on your arm, but your blood pressure is going to kill you."  This prompted a lot of my transformation over the last year.  If I were a responsible person, I would be tracking my blood pressure, but I'm not and I don't.  I know my body well enough to know that when I've been moving backwards, it has gone up, but when my diet is under control and I'm exercising regularly, it is pretty good.  This is primarily confirmed by my lack of BP related headaches, and my tolerance for heat.  If you didn't know, people with high blood pressure tend to feel heat a lot more than people with normal blood pressure, and this probably explains why I kept my apartment below 64 F while I was in Florida last year.

 

The most visible transformation has probably been strength, and is most clearly evidenced in my shoulders.  A year ago, my shoulders looked like melting taffy.  Really, it was terrible.  Now, my shoulders look great.  Like, "damn, that is sexy" great.  I occasionally notice them when I towel off my hair after a shower, and they are remarkable.  I'd wonder where they came from, but it would be disingenuous.  I know where they came from, handstands and crow pose.  My handstand practice is stronger right now than at any point in my life.  My core is also wicked strong, and well, you guys have seen my legs.  I'm still a long ways from pistols and shrimp squats, but give it time.

 

The most remarkable transformation, however, has been emotional.  As late as February or March of 2012, I was still borderline suicidal.  Most of you who follow my thread are aware that I have emotional ups and downs, and many of you have seen my PvP threads which invariably relate to my battle with depression.  My battles with depression these days are generally of the life sucks and I have no energy variety.  They are most definitely not the life threatening, praying for death nightly, lacking the will to live, variety that they were barely more than a year ago.  The encouragement, help, and support that I have gotten from this community plays a major part in my progress on this front, and I can't thank you all enough, or show you nearly enough appreciation.  I try to be open and honest about how I'm doing and how I'm feeling, because I sincerely believe this is key to not only helping myself, but also to helping someone else who may just need that one story to turn their life around.  Please don't think this means I don't appreciate how far I've come, or that I've given up and stopped fighting.

 

The thing that makes me happiest in all of this is how often I can inspire, support, or comfort others.  While I've completely lost my passion for my current career of software development, my eyes are open wide to the new possibility of helping other people, if only I can figure out how or where.  I make low quality exercise videos ( http://bit.ly/milythael-nerdfitness ) to fill in the gap and show people that you don't have to already be fit to attempt more than you are doing.  I honestly can't count how many people have told me that I inspired them to try something, or to start working on headstands or handstands.  I write PvP threads that touch the lives of the people involved and in a real way help them find more happiness.  And, I reach out to people I care about.  I notice people and I give them love.  More than once, this has given someone who was struggling the extra encouragement they needed in a bad time.

 

My transformation is by no means over.  I have much fat to lose, much strength to gain, many miles to travel, and much emotional baggage to get over.  But, and this is a pretty damn big but, my feet are on the right path, and while there are some switchbacks, I will get there in the end.

 

This was so incredible I had to quote the whole thing. You have made so much progress and I'm so proud of you!! I know how tough it can be, and its great to see how far you have come!!

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Week 3 Day 3.5

1. Daily Hand Balancing 11/16 (36) +4

2. Daily Pool 16/17 (42) +2

4. Attendance 14/14 (30)

Updated all three to reflect last night and this morning.

Last night, I slept from 1930 to 2330, and again from 0130 to 0330. I ended up laying on the couch where I had passed out from 0330 to 0444, unable to muster the energy to get up. From 0444 to 0456, I rushed like a madman to get out of the apartment at least clothed and with the right things in my pockets. (Keys, phone, kindle, wallet, check. Phone, wallet, keys, kindle, check. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Yeah, that kind of morning.) I even managed to dash back inside to grab the tea I bought last night for the office. 100 tea bags of Pu-erh tea for about $2. Talk about value for money. Things that did not happen this morning and should have: shower, brush teeth, cook food, eat food, handstands, frog stands, make tea, drink tea, chapstick.

Now, I'm sitting at my desk, eating coffee cake waiting for this caffeine drip (Starbucks Venti White Mocha Quad Shot No Whip - oh, dear god) to kick in. My eyelids aren't even managing half mast, and my screen is even more blurry than usual through lashes I can't quite pull out of the way of the pupils. I'd be counting the minutes until I can go home, but I can't even muster enough brain power to figure out how many there are.

By the way, not that the people at Starbucks have any reason to care, but my name is Sean, not Shawn.

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Oh Mily! I'm so sorry to hear about it being one of those nights and mornings.... I hope the caffeine kicks in quickly and you have an at least ok day.

But you know what? I'm so incredibly proud of you for not letting last night and/or this morning stand in the way of your perfect attendance. I find that to be incredibly amazing! I know so many people who would have just loooooooved the excuse but not you. Nope, despite the lack of sleep, despite being absolutely exhausted, Super Mily troops through everything and kicks some serious ass along the way!

You're the best Mily!!

 

(and I'm sending a billion hugs your way to make your day a little better :) )

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You know what? We *all* have those mornings. So I hope you're not beating yourself up about it.

 

I just want you to know that I totally just got done watching a ton of your workout videos and they are amazing. I can't do the kinds of things you can :)

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