Body image/eating disorders

[goodbyeharrison]

Haven't really been on here in a long time.

 

 

A little update:

 

-no longer binging like crazy

 

-pretty much lost my sweet tooth

 

-haven't been working out like I should be. I'm not fat, but it would be nice to lose some weight. Although I would miss my boobs. I'm so attached to them.

 

-the man that was my trigger is now my boyfriend. I actually opened up and told him how his rejection was a trigger and told him about my exercise and eating disorder. funny thing was he liked me the whole time, but had his own issues and body image problems he was dealing with. it all worked out and I couldn't be happier. He really does treat me well.

 

-I don't obsess over what im eating or doing, I get to enjoy my food. but I do need to eat healthier and get back to my old healthy routine. just not the crazy routine.

 

-was drinking a lot, binge drinking, for a while. calmed down on that. not healthy or good for me.

[Bekah]

Haven't really been on here in a long time.

 

 

A little update:

 

-no longer binging like crazy

 

-pretty much lost my sweet tooth

 

-haven't been working out like I should be. I'm not fat, but it would be nice to lose some weight. Although I would miss my boobs. I'm so attached to them.

 

-the man that was my trigger is now my boyfriend. I actually opened up and told him how his rejection was a trigger and told him about my exercise and eating disorder. funny thing was he liked me the whole time, but had his own issues and body image problems he was dealing with. it all worked out and I couldn't be happier. He really does treat me well.

 

-I don't obsess over what im eating or doing, I get to enjoy my food. but I do need to eat healthier and get back to my old healthy routine. just not the crazy routine.

 

-was drinking a lot, binge drinking, for a while. calmed down on that. not healthy or good for me.

Hi I am glad to see you are doing so much better and that your relationship is more positive Don't be a stranger

[goodbyeharrison]

I've started going back to the gym and working out again. Also I have begun meal prepping and started the process of eating less crappy foods. For right now i've begun using mytorturepal (myfitnesspal) just to track what im eating. once i've gotten closer to my goal weight im going to stop using myfitnesspal and use another method to track what i'm eating that won't focus on calories. Just a food journal will suffice.

 

I am going to start birth control tomorrow, i'm slightly concerned i'll gain weight but I think I will be okay. The only time i've gained weight on birth control really was the first time I used it. But with my focus on weight loss (while I am not officially fat, i FEEL fat). I guess my concern is that the birth control will increase my appetite or that i'll have food cravings. Right now my appetite is actually pretty minimal compared to what it used to be. 

 

A couple weeks ago i weighed myself so ill post starting and current.

 

Height 5'9" 

Starting weight 145 pounds.

Current weight 142 pounds. (-3pounds) 

Goal weight      125 pounds (17 pounds to go)

 

Let's see if i can do this without torturing myself along the way.

[goodbyeharrison]

I recognize the paranoia and restriction of what I am eating. Scared to over eat...worried that what i'm eating has too many calories..worried that i won't lose the weight..i already think about restricting the amount of carbs (not eliminating)..restricting sugar...restrict restrict restrict...restrict cheese (dense in calories and i have such a hard time putting a small amount that it's better if i cut it out..)..

 

idk about myfitnesspal..it just adds to my wanting to restrict but i find myself attempting mental calculations if i dont use it....

 

at the same time half of me wants to not care and eat everything. there is not middle ground. *sigh* 

[Guzzi]

I'm so glad I read this thread. First of all, you ladies are amazing. Period. Your honesty just blows me away.

I don't have any kind of ED, but I can totally relate to all the neurotic self doubts/craziness. I used to do this ALL THE TIME. All my life I have struggled with low self esteem. I am convinced that I am ugly, which is why there are no photos of me on here other than my (rather lovely*) profile pic. In my better moments I know this isn't true but there are times when I really do feel that I can't possibly face the world and just want to cry.

I find it impossible to accept a compliment and I always have to find a way of negating it. I'm working on that though... Learning how to say "Thank you" when someone says something nice to me, and learning to believe them too.

I'm just glad to see that I don't own ALL the craziness, and I LOVE the idea of finding something positive each day. Hope you don't mind me chipping in?

* Do you know how hard it was for me not to do the whole "I don't look as good as this in real life" bit? Seriously, I wrote it in them deleted it, like 3 times. Ungh! Still with the craziness

[starburstxo]

I have suffered from A few eating disorders... Anorexia when I was 12, ednos (a mix of anorexia and bullimia until about a year and a half ago, when I binged I would of course purge but then also make myself work out until I started blacking out and sometimes self harm), and then binge eating disorder. I thought if I binged and didn't purge, it'd be healthier. And then I got to 200 pounds. I honestly have lost a lot of that from eating 500 calories a day (still better than the 50 I was at though). But now I want to be healthy and still lose the rest and be fit. I'm OCD too, so being paleo is really easy for me if that makes sense. And I don't want to punish my body, I want to appreciate it.

1. Today my boyfriend told me whenever he's stressed, he just talks to me (aww)

2. I am starting to actually like what I see in the mirror

[goodbyeharrison]

Got rid of the myfitnesspal app on my phone. I'd rather Try to guesstimate what I've eaten. This will keep me from intentionally trying to restrict myself. Thankfully my boyfriend is starting to eat healthy again so it'll make it easier on me to avoid eating out.

1) I've had work and now I am studying for a test. I will try to make it to the gym.

2) I like my ears. Weird because I used to like to hide them..always wanted to wear my hair down because I was self conscious they were too large.

[goodbyeharrison]

Down to 128 pounds finally. Only 3 pounds to go. Cleaned up what i was eating, and my boyfriend is participating so it has made it a lot easier. Although ive been sick a couple times out of the past month so not being able to eat helped lose a few pounds. 

 

Went back to moderate carbs, less than 100g of carbs or less for the day, usually less. No bread, rice or regular potatoes. Only the occasional sweet potato..and oatmeal the past two days...first 2 weeks were the hardest because im always hungry. Its easy now and my cravings arent bad. My boyfriends heartburn has gotten better actually. Hasnt had to take medicine for almost 2 weeks now since starting the low carb and no crappy foods.

 

I definitely feel better being at my lower weight. I dont feel fat like i did before, although im still not satisfied with my body, its much better than before.

[goodbyeharrison]

http://s1349.photobucket.com/user/harrison20135/media/stomach_zps0936d783.jpg.html

 

 

A link to my progress. Cant figure out how to post a photo to be honest.

[Guzzi]

Wow! That's impressive progress, well done to you. Nice to hear about the positive changes from cleaning up your diet.

[Bekah]

http://s1349.photobucket.com/user/harrison20135/media/stomach_zps0936d783.jpg.html

 

 

A link to my progress. Cant figure out how to post a photo to be honest.

you look great :D  

to post a picture from Photobucket, you copy the "Direct" link, on the right menu of links on the photo page, and then you paste that link in the post box, like you did this one, write [ img ] (no spaces) before the "http" and [ / img ] (again no spaces) at the end of the link. and you should have a photo.

I did it for you here  

[ img ] http://i1349.photobucket.com/albums/p744/harrison20135/stomach_zps0936d783.jpg [ / img ] 

tada!!! so now you know! 

[Artinum]

Now here's a thread I'm glad to be resurrecting.

 

When I was a teenager, I seriously hated myself. I was skinny, wore dreadful clothes, had enormous glasses and struggled to make friends with people. I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror.

And then I realised that this was stupid. Why was I so down on myself? This was the only body I had, and it wasn't going to suddenly change. I stopped making myself so miserable about it and started thinking about what I liked about it.

I started to realise that, while it wasn't perfect, it was actually a lot better than I'd given it credit. Revising my clothing, a decent haircut and some new frames for my glasses all improved things enormously.

I've written a blog post about my experiences - http://freedom-muse.com/2014/06/02/i-hate-my-body/

 

I'd really appreciate feedback on this. Would you agree with any of this? Am I talking nonsense? What could I do to improve it?
 

[SnowWhite]

I am so happy to hear that you found your way to changes that make you happier about your image!

 

I read your post and it was FANTASTIC. If you haven't checked out the Love your Body and your Food thread yet, DO IT NOW

http://rebellion.nerdfitness.com/index.php?/topic/43620-pvs-love-your-body-and-your-food/

 

I came say that I'm struggling My BMR calorie goal is 1626, and I haven't reached that for over 2 weeks. I think I've lost about 10 pounds in the past week. Somebody please kick my ass :/