Keeping your weight loss a secret?

[LadyofLayton]

     Recently I've been getting more compliments about looking like I've lost weight (woot!). I'm at about 25lbs lost now and when people ask me if I've lost weight I have a hard time deciding what I will respond with. I want to say things like "Oh I don't know maybe a few pounds" or "You think so? I don't know" or sometimes "I hope so" My first instinct is to downplay my weight loss.

Another thing; as my pounds lost number gets larger I am starting to feel like I really don't want people to know what that number is. I'm still really overweight so I think in my head "It took me losing 25lbs to look this fat".

    Do any of you do this? Am I crazy? Should I be shouting from the hilltops "I lost 25 pounds and I worked hard for it!!!"? Any input would be appreciated!

[Morrigainz]

Omigosh! I wouldn't downplay it at all! I would respond with an emphatic "YES!" And then maybe they'll ask you how you did it. And you can share your success. You don't have to tell them the specific number of pounds you lost - just that yes, you've lost weight, and you're feeling great!

 

And hey - congrats!!!!

[abs]

First off - losing 25lbs is a huge achievement, well done!!! You must feel AMAZING!

I wouldn't downplay it when people ask, but do what you feel comfortable with - whether that's to shrug it off with a smile or yell "Hell YEAH!"

[Retxab]

When people ask me if I've lost weight, I usually answer "not sure, I don't weigh myself much, but I have been trying to eat healthier." Which is true enough as far as it goes. I have kind of an inner circle of close friends and family that I share my triumphs and such with, but I kinda prefer to keep things vague with more casual acquaintances.

[LadyofLayton]

Aw thanks for the support guys.

 

 

First off - losing 25lbs is a huge achievement, well done!!! You must feel AMAZING!

I wouldn't downplay it when people ask, but do what you feel comfortable with - whether that's to shrug it off with a smile or yell "Hell YEAH!"

 

Thanks for the encouragement abs! About feeling amazing - I'm at a bit of weird place with my weight loss. 25lbs feels like such a huge amount to lose but I'm just getting to my pre pregnancy weight. I have two very different feelings about this.

 

1)  I lost 25lbs and I'm just now starting to look as fat as I did before having a baby. I'm still overweight/obese, still a plus size and still unhealthy AFTER LOSING 25 POUNDS. :/ It makes my achievement feel a little deflated.

 

2) I lost 25lbs, this is the weight I hovered around, happily, for 3 years or so. All my old clothes fit, I feel as sexy, attractive and confident as I did before the baby. I'm overweight but I've always been. Should I ease off on the calorie counting and go into maintenance mode? Continue and work towards the next goal of my pre marriage weight?

 

Sigh, weight loss is such a mentally trying situation.

[Michael777]

Probably very different for me being a dude, but I say shout it out once and if you feel better keep on shouting.  I tell people "my number" when ever I'm asked, and at times I felt like it was weird but now that I'm in the habit I like it.  It's a great shot in the arm when people notice then you tell them how much and they are astonished at the number.  I'm about to hit my first goal of 100 lbs lost in a year.  I still have about 50 more pounds to go before I hit my "ideal" body weight, and trying to remember how far I have come can be hard when I still see those 50 lbs in the mirror every morning.

 

I fully understand the mental state of losing weight (hey that rhymed!), for me the mental side is the fight, the physical side I have found to be easy, which if asked a year or longer ago the thing I was most worried about was the physical aspect i.e. working out and feeling like I was going to drop dead at any second.

 

I say keep kicking ass! Might as well set a new goal, why break yourself of the good habits you had to fight for to lose the 25 lbs, keep at it!

[I-Jo]

yes- but if you hadn't lost that 25 lbs... you would be 25 lbs heavier.

 

you would still have 25 lbs to go.

 

EVERYONE starts somewhere.  1 lb. 2 lb 3lb 5lb 10 lbs.

 

you HAVE to start somewhere- you aren't just going to magically fall into that weight.  You worked hard for it- be proud of your work- and don't be discouraged- it's merely a stepping stone.  

 

So reset yourself.  it's no longer 25 lbs lost- it's 25 more to go.   just break it into chunks for yourself.  Take courage in the fact you did that 25- so the next 25 you TOTALLY HAVE GOT.  

 

Just roll with it- and keep pressing forward!!! 

[JonDixonYT]

^ IJo makes some great points.  Whatever your goal is, you have to take steps to get there.  Now that you have 25 lbs off, you know that you can do it.  You know that another XX lbs is doable, and that you can break it up accordingly.   Have another 25 to go?  Well, you've already done that and you know you can do it again.  Have another 100 to go?  You know how to get 1/4 of the way there, now you just need to do it 4 more times.

 

One step at a time we get there, whether its a walk to the coffee machine or a 400 mile hike, they both happen one step at a time.

 

Hang in there!  Keep at it until you are happy.

[Rostov]

I'm at a point now where it's hard not to notice the weight loss. Something I try to do is be gracious and appreciative - seems to me that it's a compliment, and that anyone paying you that compliment is taking a bit of a chance.  They're probably taking the chance that you won't be offended by a personal remark that inevitably draws attention to your previous (and current) weight and that you've lost weight for positive reasons (rather than, say, ill health or worry or stress).  Of course, some people don't worry about these things at all and make personal remarks without any thought, but I think most are taking a bit of a risk in doing so, and I try to bear that in mind with how I respond.

 

I tend not to go into too much detail - I will tell people numbers if they ask, and even what I've been doing to achieve it.  I'll also say that there's some way to go yet - which is still true, but much less so. One thing I'm determined not to do is to become a weight loss/exercise bore and go on about it all the time.  But I guess men tend to talk about this stuff less, and in the UK I'd say we're typically more reserved and more cautious around such personal issues.

 

The other thing I'd gently challenge is the idea that you're back where you were pre-pregnancy in terms of weight and health. That's not quite true - while the scales may read more or less the same, what they don't show is the habits and momentum and direction of travel that you've build up while losing 25lbs. You've lost 25lbs so far, and if you do decide to lose some more, you'd only be continuing what you're already doing, not starting again from scratch.

[LadyofLayton]

Probably very different for me being a dude, but I say shout it out once and if you feel better keep on shouting.  I tell people "my number" when ever I'm asked, and at times I felt like it was weird but now that I'm in the habit I like it.  It's a great shot in the arm when people notice then you tell them how much and they are astonished at the number.  I'm about to hit my first goal of 100 lbs lost in a year.  I still have about 50 more pounds to go before I hit my "ideal" body weight, and trying to remember how far I have come can be hard when I still see those 50 lbs in the mirror every morning.

 

I fully understand the mental state of losing weight (hey that rhymed!), for me the mental side is the fight, the physical side I have found to be easy, which if asked a year or longer ago the thing I was most worried about was the physical aspect i.e. working out and feeling like I was going to drop dead at any second.

 

I say keep kicking ass! Might as well set a new goal, why break yourself of the good habits you had to fight for to lose the 25 lbs, keep at it!

Michael-Congrats on that 100lbs! You have a great  and enviable attitude towards it.

 

The mental fight is not unexpected for me. It took me so long to actually force myself to even try to lose weight. I've been telling myself and others that I don't diet, and here I am. Now I'm hitting a wall of...who will I be without this weight? I've been overweight since I was 17. Who am I without the weight? Do I really want to be somebody different? I loved the idea of being a thick girl with confidence, it was inspiring for other girls. I couldn't say I always had that confidence but, it was a nice idea.

Thanks for the advice, it means a lot coming from someone who has come so far and done so well.

[LadyofLayton]

yes- but if you hadn't lost that 25 lbs... you would be 25 lbs heavier.

 

you would still have 25 lbs to go.

 

 

This, I was so unhappy 25lbs ago. All of my clothes were pinching and I was really disappointed with this new 'Mom' look I was getting in pictures. I'm still young! I'm still fun! Thanks for reminding me of this.

 

 

The other thing I'd gently challenge is the idea that you're back where you were pre-pregnancy in terms of weight and health. That's not quite true - while the scales may read more or less the same, what they don't show is the habits and momentum and direction of travel that you've build up while losing 25lbs. You've lost 25lbs so far, and if you do decide to lose some more, you'd only be continuing what you're already doing, not starting again from scratch.

Rostov, thanks so much for this bit. This is something I don't even consider, or quickly dismiss when it's in my head. I'm a completely different person from who I was pre pregnancy.

I don't drink 20+ beers a weekend, I don't eat out 3+ times a week, I make healthful eating decisions several times a day, I don't smoke anymore, etc. Your statement right now, is reminding me that I'm on my way to being a decent example for my daughter and that's the super hero I want to be. Super Mom!

Thanks so much for that.

[Horsedog]

The other thing I'd gently challenge is the idea that you're back where you were pre-pregnancy in terms of weight and health. That's not quite true - while the scales may read more or less the same, what they don't show is the habits and momentum and direction of travel that you've build up while losing 25lbs. You've lost 25lbs so far, and if you do decide to lose some more, you'd only be continuing what you're already doing, not starting again from scratch.

+1.  Super-hard to keep this in mind when the metrics one is looking at are only performance-based instead of behaviour-based.

[green eggs]

I drove my colleagues nuts for months because I couldn't tell them how much I'd lost, since I hadn't weighed when I started or since. My standard reply to the "have you lost weight" was "dunno, haven't got on a scale in years, but my pants feel a bit looser" Eventually they took the hint and got used to the idea that they weren't getting numbers out of me.

Actually following the numbers even for myself would have driven me nuts. If I'd have thought my colleagues had a measuring stick... scary.

It's totally up to you who you share the numbers with

PS Once I'd plateaued and been the same for a couple of months, I finally weighed, and eventually, yes, I did share the number and a guestimated loss amount with a couple of people, along with the news that that was where I planned to stay. But all in good time.

[Deanna]

 

The other thing I'd gently challenge is the idea that you're back where you were pre-pregnancy in terms of weight and health. That's not quite true - while the scales may read more or less the same, what they don't show is the habits and momentum and direction of travel that you've build up while losing 25lbs. You've lost 25lbs so far, and if you do decide to lose some more, you'd only be continuing what you're already doing, not starting again from scratch.

 

I like this!!!  I've been my weight before but it was on the way up. It's hard for me to be happy about losing when I know in my head that I've weighed less and been in better shape. I need to remind myself that it's not the number, it's the direction the number is going. From now on when I picture the number I'll draw some cartoon lines above it to remind myself that it's falling down.