The Hunger Diaries

[WriterGuy]

Okay, I have some explaining to do about the title. For me, the biggest issue with being healthy comes from my eating habits. Whether I need to eat or not, there's this hunger in me. Now, I'm channeling the hunger into something positive and establishing the right habits so I can transform.

 

Goal 1: Cut down on the dough, sweets and needlessly processed foods one step at a time. Right now, introduce an entirely healthy meal for breakfast, reduce bread intake to one meal per day, eat more vegetables at lunch and conquer between-meal snacking.

 

- Monday has been good on this, because I have really eaten natural food. Huzzah! Today has been less of a success, because I was invited to a crepes party and Nutella has flowed freely. Talk about high calorie intake. Moderation in eating at social events has been my biggest challenge. Nevertheless, I had no breakfast today (woke up closer to noon) & my dinner consists of tomatoes with feta cheese (my favorite summer combo).

 

Goal 2: Walk every single day. Right now I'm doing 60 minutes of walking to and fro work, so that's an hour five days per week. I look forward to introducing this over the weekends as well. I need walking to relieve my stress.

 

- I think I held the 60 minute on Monday (errands I had to do with the bus, but there was walking), but today I was off work, so definitely a lot less walking (perhaps 40, after the birthday ended).

 

Goal 3: Master the basic workout as soon as possible, preferably within a month.

 

- I have done my first circuit today (only 1 circuit) and it is as bad as I have imagined. My muscles, the poor dears, have forgotten why they exist in the first place. Also, I will probably have to research how to do some of the exercises, because I think I'm failing to do the squats as they are meant to be done and the walking lunges results in really bruised knees (creaky knees). MOAR research. 

 

Goal 4: Write every day.

 

- As a writer I need to write every day to improve, which is something I have been neglecting... Life is tough, but you gotta prioritize. I have yet to get to this one. My brain feels completely fizzled out.

 

Nevertheless, I have started a project called The Hunger Diaries, where I put my pain about eating and the toxicity of my relationship with food as short stories and vignettes. I will place a few snippets of my work here as well. Once I get to new material, I post from it. Now, I will post my from my first short story in the project: "The Pain Eater".

 

"There was once a boy who ate pain.

He ate all kinds of pain.

He ate the pain of losing a limb. He ate the pain of burying a sin. He ate the unrequited love of a broken heart and the agony over a piece of art.

For desert he preferred remorse and regret, though would never say no to morsels of guilt."

[WriterGuy]

I have been battling some hair raising situations at work, so I haven't been able to report what's happened to me, but things have been good in general. I have stuck to hard boiled eggs as a breakfast alternative, until I get tired of that and go for the yoghurt with muesli. I like how simple hard boiled eggs are and they have really eliminated the need to have a second breakfast, which has almost been a croissant (freshly baked with awesome chocolate sauce). Well, none of that happened so yeah, I'm quite happy with the breakfast situation.

 

I have managed to keep my promise to have just one meal accompanied by bread. Good. Almost no snacking activity and while at the farewell party of a colleague at the office, I limited myself to just one piece of cake, one chocolate bonbon, and 3 crackers. In the past, that would have been a lot more. The food situation seems a lot under control, so I'm happy. I hope I can keep up with this for two more weeks before I figure out how to say goodbye to bread in general. 

 

I have been walking a lot, although today it rained so no walk and it's a day off work, but I did clean a lot, so there goes extra activity.

 

Second stab at the beginners body circuit attempted. Increased the number of squats AND the number of push-ups (from the knees though), but my legs do not like the idea of doing walking lunges so I have been making no progress there (2 before I start falling sideways). I hope once my legs stop feeling so sore, I will gain stability eventually. I hope this works like that.

 

So yeah, this is the short version. Due to work stress, writing has been pushed back again. Not happy about it.

[WriterGuy]

Update. The food situation has gone well. I have said no to bread today. Entirely.

 

Breakfast: 3 boiled eggs

Lunch: Pork stew with veggies and rice

Dinner: Baked potatoes with salami (only meat in the house! *gasp*) and lutenitza (Bulgarian tomato paste condiment, which is the healthier alternative to ketchup even if it's been processed).

 

No snacks. No soda. No sweets.

Today I managed to do almost a full circuit on the beginner's body workout. Squats as prescribed, push-ups as prescribed, etc. etc. ONLY the lunges cause me issues and well I can do only one circuit still, but progress. PROGRESS!

[WriterGuy]

Keeping this thread alive has proven to be a bit of a hassle as I'm already involved with the challenge and I have to say that things have been going rather well for me in terms of commitment. The drive to succeed in the challenge and this whole thing has been really positive in my resolve to say no to the nasty habits I've adopted for myself. Right now, it's been day two for the 6 Week Challenge and I'm on track with two of my four goals (those are daily).

 

The Good:

Been eating less and eating healthier. Boiled eggs for breakfast, yoghurt, tomatoes, feta, cooked meals at a small diner (not particularly the healthiest in terms of the recipes, but the preparation is akin to home cooking) and salads.

Two days in my new position as a team leader, so I'm in charge of tasks and it turns out we're doing great. Way ahead of schedule on all my estimates and planning on some massive targets.

 

The Bad:

Headache. The mysterious variety... Am I dehydrated? Am I overstressed? Both?

And yes, I have entered my period of depression. Honestly, I have been hoping for this not to happen during the summer, but it's been several months since my last episode and I guess I have no choice in the matter. Currently, I have this incessant fear I will fail at work and that everyone is smarter and better and more capable than me and I should just give up and not show my head outside. Worst feeling ever. I'm keeping myself busy to listen, but yes, this is something I have to deal with and stay productive.

Tired. This whole being in charge thing means I get extra things to do that stretch my blissful 8 hour work experience into a 10 hour one, which makes me literally want to crawl under my bed and hibernate for at least half a week.

 

The Weird:

Everyone at the office was talking about The Red Wedding. EVERY SINGLE ONE. I can't quite believe this.

 

Excerpt:

Here is a little something from my work-in-progress "The Bones are Stones for Building".

 

In a village far in the woods where people still feared the noises at dark, three brothers decided to build a big house of stone that would put to shame the buildings they have each seen in the bigger villages where tradesmen changed coins faster than dogs shed fur in the summer. However, the land proved to be wild and hard. The three brothers cut the stones with care and a firm hand under the baking sun. Each day they laid the foundation and raised the first walls until the skyline ripened with red, only to find their work ruined by the first rays of sunlight.