Jumping right in and learning on the way.

[fragwell]

I'm actually going to be telling my story on YouTube while I do this.  Someone else got the fragwell username there so I'm fragwellbsg for what I call my Blood, Sweat, and Gears project:  http://www.youtube.com/user/FragwellBSG

 

I find distraction and lack of accountability to be my greatest downfalls.  I've had some solid runs at fitness in the past, but have had to switch away for financial reasons.  Since I'm sick of the pattern, I took a whole year to handle the financial side once and for all.  I did it, but in winter and I'm more the outdoor type when it comes to recreation and fitness.  It's hard to stay motivated when the days are so short and I'm at work all day anyway.

 

I decided to go to the next level with a plan for an Epic Summer.  The one I had predates the recent use of "epic" as it was all the way back in 1995.  I put 1100 miles on a nasty Huffy Swamp Water bike that wasn't meant for that kind of use.  I took that thing part way up a local mountain, even.

 

It was all a huge paradigm shift for me since, among the three brothers, I was the one for whom "You're grounded." meant no Nintendo.  Granted, I had discovered Doom and Doom II that year and was a total fanboy for both, but they were only a small part of what made that summer so amazing.

 

It still surprises me how I made my birthday money last me all summer long in combination with little spiffs like figuring out why the PA system at the local pool wasn't working and getting a 15-punch pass for my efforts.

 

I've wanted to have another go at the same thing for a long time.  It wasn't possible the next two years since I was forced to take a job in order to pay car insurance (I'd have preferred not to drive and the jobs available sucked) in 1996 and in 1997 wasn't allowed to spend the money I made.  Then it was college, married life (with a woman who considered anything physical a chore and wasn't very supportive of my solo efforts despite Diabetes nipping at my heels), post-divorce (her choice, but an absolute blessing for me) financial fallout, and now I finally have another shot.

 

I'm not restricted to Summer Vacation anymore, though I do work a regular job and pay my own bills.  Since Utah is strange when it comes to seasons, I decided this effort would start June 1 and run through the end of October.

 

In terms of goals, there are too many to list, but they fit in categories.  Since I've fixed my finances and living situation, I'm focused on fixing my body, mind, and heart.

 

When I am in good health, my mind operates at levels of speed and focus that frighten me (it's called hyperfocusing).  Right now, it misfires.  I feel like I'm held back in terms of my career and relationships because of this.  At my peak, in 1995, I didn't even need to take any of the 40mg of Ritalin per day that I had been taking for most of my school life.

 

Bottom line, I need this.  It's no fun being in my early 30s and living this way.  I've gone on record many times stating that I'd never again allow my finances or living situation dictate whom I choose as a mate or when.  Looking back on my marriage, that's exactly what happened.  I'm up on my own feet now in that regard, but I've still got healing left to do.

 

I like to think I'm a good role model for my daughter, but I know I can be a better one.  She deserves a great stepmom, too, and one isn't just going to show up on my doorstep.  The best thing I can do is be myself and, while most definitely en-route, I'm not there yet.

 

With all the planets of opportunity aligning just for this, procrastination would make me a fool.

 

I firmly believe this is my Lux Aeterna moment in life.

[Eats-Own-Tail]

hi, i like your videos

[fragwell]

Mere hours left before the launch.  I have decals to make, bikes to clean, odometers to reset, and vegetables to slice.  For now, five hours at work and then the drive home.