Fallen heroes can rise again.

[Stormpsych]

Sometimes, a hero is a hero because they choose something that makes them so. They're self-assured, confident, sure of themselves. People look up to heroes, they shine. They have an inner light.

I was a hero once. I lost my way. I Lost that light, that spark, that confidence.

I got injured. While it's not quite taking an arrow to the knee, my knee problems have always given me trouble since they started after the injury, sapped my confidence. My will.

It's time I started getting that back. it's time I started gaining confidence and control of my life, so I can be that hero again.

 

"There is a prison in a more ancient part of the world, a pit where men are thrown to suffer and die. But sometimes a man rises from the darkness."

 

On Diet:

At work:

I'm a shameless snacker at work. There are quiet periods sometimes at work, during which I get bored. Heck, I even snack sometimes during busy periods, using the age old excuse of "I need the energy". It's an old habit, one I've tried and failed to break before. Last attempt was a year ago.

Challenge: During work-hours, limit myself to a maximum of 2 snacks a day. Attempting to bring in healthier snacks to nom on is a sub-goal of this goal, but not a requirement for reaching it.

Reward: +2 WIS

Outside of work:

I enjoy cooking a good meal, of enjoying every last part of it. Of using bread to soak up leftover gravy and sauce, scraping the bowl for that last bit of ice-cream, Hoovering everything off the plate so you can't even tell it needs washing sometimes.

My grandmother, before she passed several years ago, said a gem that I've recently thought about: "If you leave something on your plate, You'll slowly reduce your portion sizes, you don't feel the need for as big a meal."

Challenge: Listen to my grandmother's advice. (Put weight on that line how you will, even laugh.) Every meal, leave a bite worth of each group of things on the plate. Groups can include (but aren't limited to): Sides (Leave a couple of chips, leave a forkful of vegetables), Main part of Meal (Don't eat the whole steak, leave a bit behind), Sauces/Gravys (Stop hoovering the plate).

Reward: +1 WIS, +1 CHA

On Exercise:

I've been really bad about maintaining exercise habits, since my injury. Every time I've tried, it's almost always come down to numbers: How many reps can you do, what weight, how far, how long. And then people comparing themselves, like it's some sort of competition between people.

I've never aimed to win. I've always aimed to do *my* best. The numbers, such competition, it grates against me, so I start pulling back. So I'm not going to compete with physical fitness. I'm going to sidestep and move forward in the outside lane.

Challenge: Once a day, three times a week, usually before bed ('cause that's usually the time I do physical exercise), Complete a set of "as many a I can in one set" reps of both Pushups and Situps. I won't keep count, I'll just keep going until I can't with each one.

Reward: +1 STR, +1 CON

 

On Socialising:

 

A hero is seen by the world as a hero, they are among the crowd.

When this challenge ends, I'll be on holiday. Travelling from tis wonderful land down under (I'm an Aussie) To the United States to visit friends, and als hang out at a great social event for a great community I'm also involved with.

Usually, I'm quiet and nervous around new people. I'll be meeting a whole SMACKLOAD of new people on this trip. So I'm challenging myself to be more friendly rather than trying to retreat.

 

Challenge: When meeting people on my trip abroad, stand, be friendly, be open, talk instead of falling quiet and listening. Open myself up, accept more people. Don't close myself off because it's new and unusual.

 

Reward: +2 CHA

[Angelcakes]

YAY!!!! STORMY!!!! <3 <3 <3

[Stormpsych]

Update:

Added one extra challenge to my set.

 

Second Update:

First obstacle to overcome has been made very apparent. Currently, I live with my ex-wife for financial reasons. We're still friends, but as soon as she read this challenge, she flatly refused to act supportive like a friend usually would, because of one of my challenges. She is obstinately against the wasting of food, and views one of my challenges as doing so. To the point it became her angrily shouting at me about it.

 

I view that philosophy as the one that has caused the issues I outlined in the challenge. That no morsel should be wasted. She is epitomizing what I am fighting against.

 

I agree food shouldn't be wasted. Which is why I'm using this method to train myself to lower portion sizes. Rather than "Cold turkey" shifting to it, I'm training myself in both cooking and eating. So I'm not "wasting it", I'm "Using it to train with"

 

I was going to post a long line of expletives about my opinion of her lack of support, but frankly, I think people get the idea about how I feel.

[mentalfloss]

Love your grandma's advice!  Such a great idea, I hope you can stick to it  - I'm so sorry you have to live with someone so unsupportive but I guess it wouldn't be a "6-week challenge" without the challenge You can do it!!!

 

Also, very brave about the social goal - I know exactly what you mean, I can easily close off and become reclusive if I'm simply not in the mood, and always miss out on meeting some wonderful people!!!  

 

Looking forward to seeing how you go

[qimster]

Maybe as a compromise, you can not eat a little bit of everything on your plate and put it away in a tupperware container and put it back in the fridge. Maybe you can use that bit to start off your next plate. Also maybe you can load your plate then put a bit back before you begin to eat - kind of reversing the process? At any rate, I think your grandma has wonderful idea and I wish you all the luck and patience you need! 

[childofscorn]

Maybe as a compromise, you can not eat a little bit of everything on your plate and put it away in a tupperware container and put it back in the fridge. Maybe you can use that bit to start off your next plate. Also maybe you can load your plate then put a bit back before you begin to eat - kind of reversing the process? At any rate, I think your grandma has wonderful idea and I wish you all the luck and patience you need! 

You're so nice I'm apparently kind of an asshole.  I'd take the extra bites, and put them on my ex's plate so that they got fatter as I got skinnier.  

[bigwildonion]

So sorry you got zapped with an injury!  So glad that you are getting well.

 

There is a nice little article about coming back after injury called Keep your head in the game on Stumptuous.  Indeed, I love the whole Doh! and ouch section of that site. 

[drsane1984]

Injuries can indeed be a wall to overcome, if not downright a show-stopper for a few unfortunate people. But it sounds you are not one of those unlucky, so rise up and fight !

 

Also, can I steal your grand-mothers quote? It never occured to me and I've never heard that piece of wisdom!

[rogaecia]

Hello Storm, welcome to the challenge. I am sorry to hear your life mate will not be supportive due to feeling like you would be wasting food. That is an understandable stance. What if you load up one less spoonful to your dinner plate? That way you can save more for later and also eat less? Or save whatever you do not eat?

There are always ways around mountains. Don't give up- there are solutions and we're here to help.

You can do it :)

best of luck!

[rogaecia]

You're so nice I'm apparently kind of an asshole.  I'd take the extra bites, and put them on my ex's plate so that they got fatter as I got skinnier.  

evil genius.

[Stormpsych]

OKay, It's Saturday, Time for my first Week Update.

 

And boy was this week a struggle - Massive stressful events occurred pretty much constantly all week, testing my willpower to stick to what my goals are.

 

I failed about 10% of the time.

 

Monday morning - the housemate wakes me at "Whyamawakeo'clock" with the Hot Water cylinder leaking everywhere. Great. Not only is it below freezing for most of the day here at the moment (It's Winter in Australia), Now there's no hot water. So a stressful day of having to shower at work, arrange plumbers and fitters (It's a gas-based system), and arrange the day off when they say "We'll be there between 9AM and 5PM"

Tuesday was spent waiting, and waiting, and they showed at 1. Then were trying to charge us more because the new system replacing that one would need the pipes on the other side.

 

After arguing them back to the original quote (Don't blame me if you put "parts & labour for installation" on there), Final cost was $1750. Great. Just what I needed before a massive international trip.

 

That has been sorted out and budgetted in for the next few months... that was what Wednesday was spent doing. Phew, plans still going ahead, Haven't failed at ANY of my goals yet either. I was feeling good.

 

Then Thursday morning, I get a phonecall. My grandmother passed away after losing the will to live after having Cancer Removal surgery and finding she had a heart murmer.

 

The world hates me this week.

 

More stress. Arranging more leave. My Brother is awesome as he had booked and paid for my flights to go to her funeral (it's 1500 miles away). But the stress got on top of me. Thursday and Friday spent stressing over and arranging leave (My boss is awesome about it, but I hate asking for time off right now, being that I'm disappearing for almost a month after this month), I fell off the challenge.

 

snacks at work for Thursday/Friday went back up to 3-4 times, which I will admit is still an improvement on the 6-8 times daily usual. I just didn't have the will to fight myself over it. And for lunches at work, I ignored the "Leave something on your plate." idea.

 

Oh, it was my other grandmother who said that gem of wisdom, not the recently deceased one. But I'm honestly surprised that such a simple idea has recieved such a great response from people here - and if people want to steal it/share it, just credit it and I'm happy for you to.

 

So yeah. I was good until mass stress hit me. Then not so good. Now I'm being strong willed and fighting back into my goals, pushing myself. It's what I want to do.

[Angelcakes]

Sweetie. I love you.  I'm here for you.  You need to vent?  Leave me IMs.  I will read them.  I will do what I can to support you, emotionally.

 

Stress always mucks up plans. You can do this, babe.  I know it.  I wore the shoes you got for my Daphne cosplay today.  Hurt like hell, but I did it for you.  <3 you.  You're my friend and the M&G in Chicago's gonna be amazaballs!   Keep with it!!!!!!

[mentalfloss]

I'm sorry you had such a stressful week!!  You put in a huge effort considering, if that were me I would have been comforting eating all week haha Already doing a great job!!!

[bigwildonion]

I am so sorry for your loss, Stormpsych.  It is so hard to go through grieving, and I hope you and your family can heal together over time.

 

Stay strong, Stormy!  If you went off track only 10% of the time, that is pretty heroic, given your week of struggles.  This is a time to show yourself maximum kindness. Given how things changed for you so suddenly, is it appropriate to edit your goals a bit?

[Stormpsych]

Week 2. What a bloody rollercoaster.

 

I'm building back to my objectives. I've missed meals here and there, forgotten my challenge for others.

 

Monday Morning I was to fly to Hobart for my deceased grandmother's funeral. Flights got delayed by massive fog levels in Sydney, to the point I missed my connecting flights. Stressful reorganization later, I'm going via Melbourne. Yup. My bags didn't travel the same way i did, so I got there, no bags. Well crap, that thing held pretty much everything I needed right then.

 

Sorted that out quickly, but stresses made me feel ill. Really Ill. I nearly cancelled going to the Funeral.

 

However, i went. We mourned together, then my family got together for the wake.

 

Essentially a big excuse for us to get drunk, relax a bit. It helped. Had some frank conversations with my family and they were more understanding on some things than I expected. They also, I have no idea how, got into a pushups competition. Me against two military family members - How the hell did i win that thing drunk?

 

That was a confidence booster. Exercise goals back on track. Wednesday, I left Hobart, went back to Canberra... Until Yesterday.

 

Right now, I'm in Brisbane. Yeah, I've been travelling a lot this week. That might be what threw my eating right out. Either I pig out or barely eat at the moment.

 

Anyhow, I'm up here for work. And the nature of the work has me exercising pretty hard, given it involves crawling under and between desks, twisting and turning to see what I'm doing, manipulating unco-operative cables into position, hodling uncomfortable poses stretching my muscles.

 

My knees are killing me, as is my lower back.

 

I think I'm going to crash into bed now. I'm improving. Next week or the week after I hope to be back where I feel I can achieve my goals.

 

Even though I'm travelling at the end of the month again, that time internationally. So some stress is still there, but hopefully more enjoyable outcomes.

[bigwildonion]

Ooof...rough times.  Getting some rest is a good idea. Hang in there, and don't forget to be good to yourself.

[Angelcakes]

Maybe I *should* give you that kiss in Chicago!  I feel like I owe you something for talking you into doing this challenge with me.... >_>

[Stormpsych]

Week 3. Right.

 

Food challenges are definately coming back into focus. Not feeling the stress anywhere near as much - I've been watching what I eat, making sure to leave some behind on the plate. Now that I've been able to meet that all week, now the trick is to maintain.

 

Also, now I feel I can answer people regarding their thoughts on my housemate's refusal to support this goal -

 

I chose the goal, it's what I want to do. That she doesn't support me, well, It's not the first thing we don't see eye to eye on (Hence the reason we're no longer in a relationship other than housemates) - I'm not about to negotiate my goals with her to make them more pleasing to her. I'm in this for my health, not hers. She isn't able to stop me, just not support me. She's of the mindset that everything should be eaten that's put in front of you, and it's THAT mindset/habit I'm trying to break.

 

Exercise - I strained my elbow doing work over the last weekend. It hurts like hell. BUT, that said, I'm still doing as many pushups/situps as I can at LEAST three nights a week. This last week I lost count and looking back over my notes, I atually did it four nights. I don't see anything wrong with this, but I'm not upping my goal for it. It's just a bonus week. It doesn't count towards future weeks or anything like that.

 

Work Snacking - This challenge to myself I only in the last few days really managed to stick to. Distractions and other points I can't go into for client confidentiality mean that for this goal, If I had to grade myself, I'd maybe have earnt 60% on.

Of course, That's likely to be around my final grade, as I have now finished at work for vacation period that will last until after this challenge is completed.

 

Overall - I'm satisfied with improving things back towards where I want to be. Late next week I travel to the U.S. to enjoy the first bloody vacation I've had in almost 2 years. Things are looking up. I'm starting to rise.

[Stormpsych]

Week 4 shall henceforth be known as the "Wild Ride".

 

No work. I'm off work for several weeks. It's easy to get bored around the house and snack - so I decided that the 2 snack rule would continue at home while I'm off work.
I have more than nailed it I think. But I'm getting ahead a little.

 

Up until Wednesday, I was packing. Running around completing tasks and errands that I had to. I wasn't in the house anywhere NEAR as much as I expected to be. And I was so busy, I forgot to eat between breakfast and dinnertime on ALL of these days.

 

Wednesday - Up at 4:30 am. FINAL JOBS TO COMPLETE - a.k.a. last minute packing including toiletries - then drove to my Brother'sgrabbed him and OFF TO SYDNEY! A pretty much three and a half hour drive including traffic to get to the international airport. My Brother hugged me goodbye, the little #$*&*^ Had better be looking after my car. Customs, etc... Board Plane. I'M OFF TO THE UNITED STATES!

 

Ever BEEN on a 16 hour plane ride? You get bored. You try to sleep. You doze in uncomfortable seats. That reminds me, must pre-select seat for my return flight... BRB!

 

...

 

... in Sydney)

 

...

 

Okay, now that's done so I'm not sandwiched between two people and have a WALL to lean on to sleep... I ate when served meals on the flight. Given my eating habits the last few days, and that it's airline food, this was very little sustenance.

 

However, I am NOW in the U.S. *Cheers, flags, confetti, blah blah...*

 

Arrival was painful. (The plane landed LITERALLY at the time that it took off at back in Sydney) 3 hours through customs - travelling alone, you have no-one to hold your spot in the ever growing queue so you can go PEE.

 

Since then though, I've exercised more regularly through the day (tourism takes a lot of walking), have still kept up the three nights activity per week, Have snacked maybe three times since arriving in the country 5 days ago... and actually feel healthier-ish. Some of the foods over here are, I swear, much more fattening than their Australian equivelancies.

 

Oh, I've introduced some people to Tim Tams as well. *Evil Laughter*

 

Honestly, I'm loving the country despite the wierdness of completely different brand names, driving on the other side of the roads, some locals have COMPLETE difficulty with my Aussie accent (Seriously, it's not that hard to understand Strawberry, is it?) - I like it over here. If I had enogh money to, no loans to pay off (Or could afford it as part of things), A good job similar to the one I'm in now - I would actually consider migrating.

 

Admittedly, the chances of that happening are really SLIM, but still. I'm rising - both to the challenge, and in spirits.

 

NOTE: My next weekend's report may be delayed as we will be travelling over it and I likely won't have my laptop.

[Stormpsych]

Okay, Total failure of the last 2 weeks of updates on my part, I admit it. I got distracted, run around in heat, lots of exercise of walking in the heat, lots of stuff going on.

 

I'll also admit for week 5 I only did my exercise challenge once instead of my rationed three times.

For week 6, I only did it twice.

 

I claim mitigating circumstances of exercise exhaustion from the amount of walking, running, etc. I did in near on 100 degree heat 85% humidity at times for that, however. I'm not sure whether having much much MUCH more exercise outside of the exercise portion should count or not for that though.

 

With regards to eating:

Snacks barely existed the whole two weeks. Heck, for the weekend after week 5, I had a stomach bug and was having difficulty even keeping water in there. Recovered after 2 days of fast with maybe 25% the hydration I needed, nothing would remain down though. I've tried many new foods in my time in the United States, but always was conscientious of leaving something on the plate, regardless of how delicious it wasa - so no reasoning needed there.

 

With regards to Socializing:

I did not shirk. I did not retreat. I stood my ground, learned how to cope. And THe sheer number of hugs people gave & recieved from me was awesome.

The event involved Karaoke - I made myself overcome my shyness more, I stood before the crowd and sang as well as I could. One of the locals has recordings and will be playing everyone's on his show on The Cape Radio on July 30th, from 10PM to 1AM EST. (U.S. EST, Aussies following me) - you can check out the station at www.thecaperadio.com - I'll be the one referred to as DJ Ranger.

 

Must go now, I think I damaged my throat on the last song and need to rest before starting the flights home tomorrow