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Jem's challenge of imperfection.


JediJem

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I wasn’t going to take part in this challenge. I’d gotten myself into a really chaotic and defeatist way of thinking where nothing I did seemed to mean anything, and where I didn’t have any faith in my ability to stick to or accomplish anything. Some of you may remember me battling a skirt into submission in another challenge early in the year – since then I’ve regained the weight I lost, lost some again and then regained again. I’d decided to aim for a PB in a half marathon in May – I got on really well with training, doing great times, then got sick for a couple of weeks and never really got back into training again. Suffice to say that PB did not happen. And let’s not even talk about the PhD where my lack of progress now is a SERIOUS problem...

 

I’m an all or nothing kinda person, and it just isn’t working. When things run perfectly I do great, but when something interrupts the flow I can’t handle it and spiral out of control. As in diet: I normally eat well, but when things go wrong I comfort eat, and when I’ve had Doritos and doughnuts for dinner one evening I just get so discouraged I keep eating junk for the rest of the week. Anything not done to perfection seems pointless.

 

Deep breath... The one very positive thing to have happened in the last couple of months is that I found a really great MA club to train with again. They do both Krav Maga and Kickboxing, and so far I’ve been taking the Krav classes which are so much freakin fun!  :love_heart:  At the moment the kickboxing doesn’t fit with my schedule, but that will change from July.

 

On to the goals:

 

1.       Train Krav at least once a week in June (I’m away for work a lot this month so any more would be unrealistic), and Krav and/ or kickboxing twice a week from July. Imperfection training: going back to class at first opportunity even if I don’t meet my target.

2.       No comfort eating! Or – at least – no substituting real food for junk. I don’t know how to measure this exactly, and I have NO idea what to do to substitute the junk food cravings I get when I’m down. I’m thinking maybe phone a friend; I have a few people who know that I struggle with this and probably would be willing to ‘talk me off the ledge’, so to speak. Imperfection training: not letting one day’s slip-up derail me for days. Or weeks.

3.       Log off at 9pm every evening to take some time to sort out food for the following day, organise my gym bag, and meditate. Imperfection training: So you got back from Krav late and was too tired to get organised and consequently didn’t go to the gym and ate rubbish at work? Tomorrow is another day.

4.        Write, woman, write! I *have* to write up my thesis. No, with a full-time job I don’t really have the time, but I have to do it anyway. Somehow. And an hour or two a day is better than no hours ever. Imperfection training: So you’d planned to write all of Saturday from 6am to 10pm (anyone else see the reason I tend to fail before I even start...?), and now it’s 2pm and you’re still stuck on Netflix in a Breaking Bad marathon? Start now. Even though it won’t be the epic day of writing.

 

So – here’s to a much more imperfect Jem by the end of the 6 weeks!  :tongue:

 

 

Always kick higher

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Welcome back. Good decision to realize you don't have to be perfect to be successful.

I like the idea of setting up for the next day.

It's like I tell my cooks to "end with the beginning in mind" so you don't come into a messy kitchen and behind on prep before service starts. Setting up for success begets success.

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"Shoot for the moon. If you miss, you land among the stars."

 

You're not meant to be perfect. Just meant to be better. You can do it.

 

This.

 

I completely understand wanting to be perfect in what you do.  You set out to do a thing and then the hiccups happen and you think, "What's the point?  I've already failed"  I felt like I crashed and burned in first week of the last challenge due to an injury.  It threw me off my game entirely.  The monks reminded me that things go wrong and provided a ton of support to stop feeling sorry for myself and do something.  It marks one of the first times in my life that I actually picked myself up off the ground and kept trying.  Kishi's words are so true and it's up to each one of us to remind ourselves of that every time life throws us a curveball.

 

Your goals look good and measurable.  The monks will have your back.  

Half-Giant Monk

current challenge

"Promote yourself, but do not demote another." Yisroel Salanter

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Wow, we really are very much alike. I'm so glad you decided to join the challenge this time around. I'm very much an all or nothing person too, to the point I think I actually have OCPD. I consider myself a recovering perfectionist and I've been trying really hard not to freak out every time a monkey wrench gets thrown into my routine. We both have a very long hard road ahead of us but now we're walking it together! I've considered asking someone to be my lifeline when I start to have a crisis too, to help talk some sense back into me when I falter but at work is my worst time so I would have to keep it to texting as I am able. Either way I got your back.

Level 3 Human Monk


STR 8, DEX 4, STA 7, CON 8, WIS 6, CHA 5


Current Challenge


 


“Sometimes I am two people. Johnny is the nice one. Cash causes all the trouble. They fight."


-Johnny Cash

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I've found that often hunger is thirst in disguise. When I get a craving, I'll try drinking a glass of water and sometimes that cures it. If not, my next step is usually bubble gum. Low calorie, lets the chewing craving out of the way and gives me a bit of sugar.

 

 

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First day. Got myself all organised last night, and up to the gym this morning. Did a good 40 minute strength work session, and then off to work where I proceeded to eat all the healthy goodies I'd prepared last night. Loads of fruit and veggies, yogurt, guacamole... All delicious. Work was mad and around 3pm I started craving cookies, but had none. Dinner was a wholemeal rye sandwich and hot chocolate; a different type of comfort food but one I'm ok with. Not much in the way of protein today though (which could explain the chicken burger I was also craving earlier), so I'll have to make sure there's extra tomorrow.

And - tomorrow is Krav! :)

Always kick higher

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Hi Jem. Hope you are doing well. Wish you success in your challenge.

 

I hope I´m not being too nosy. But I found the concept of Optimalism some time ago, and really liked it so I´ll share it here:

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Optimalism#Optimalism

 

"...The positive psychologist Tal Ben-Shahar uses optimalism to mean willingness to accept failure while remaining confident that success will follow, a positive attitude he contrasts with negative perfectionism. Perfectionism can be defined as a persistent compulsive drive toward unattainable goals and valuation based solely in terms of accomplishment. Perfectionists reject the realities and constraints of human ability. They cannot accept failures, delaying any ambitious and productive behavior in fear of failure again..."

 

I think you are intuitively shifting to this stance which is amazing. =D

Level: 4 Human Monk


STR: 14 | DEX: 7 | STA: 10.75 | CON: 6.75 | WIS: 13.75 | CHA: 1.75 |


 


"Effort without results is only self satisfying bunk" - Kain R. Heinlein.


 


"You can make mistakes, but you are not a failure until you blame others for those mistakes." - John Wooden.


 


"Misery is comfortable. Happiness takes effort." - David Wong.

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You can wrestle those goals into submission, Jem, no problem!  May I suggest strawberries as a junk replacement?  Pretty small values, calorically speaking, and they definitely help with the "need something sweet" vibe.  I'm also a fan of carrots as a snack if I'm craving something junky.  And recently I saw a recipe for homemade sweet potato chips I can dig up again, if you want a bit of salt and crunch.

 

As for the thesis... I wish I had advice beyond "Lock yourself down," but I really don't.  Looking at my Master's thesis, I have no idea HOW it got written, only that it did.  Kind of like my defense.  I know I did it, but I don't remember a damned thing substantial about it.  But you'll survive!  Pester the hell out of your adviser to give you edits in a timely fashion, though!

RisenPhoenix, the Entish Aikidoka

Challenge: RisenPhoenix Turns to Ash

 

"The essence of koryu [...is] you offer your loyalty to something that you choose to regard as greater than yourself so that you will, someday, be able to offer service to something that truly is transcendent." ~ Ellis Amdur, Old School

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First day. Got myself all organised last night, and up to the gym this morning. Did a good 40 minute strength work session, and then off to work where I proceeded to eat all the healthy goodies I'd prepared last night. Loads of fruit and veggies, yogurt, guacamole... All delicious. Work was mad and around 3pm I started craving cookies, but had none. Dinner was a wholemeal rye sandwich and hot chocolate; a different type of comfort food but one I'm ok with. Not much in the way of protein today though (which could explain the chicken burger I was also craving earlier), so I'll have to make sure there's extra tomorrow.

And - tomorrow is Krav! :)

You got off to a great start. I also avoided the cookies with their evil Jedi Mind Tricks! Glad you realized you need more protein, especially if you are working on building muscle. It's really essential. I can't wait for my Hapkido class tomorrow too. Let's rock it!

Level 3 Human Monk


STR 8, DEX 4, STA 7, CON 8, WIS 6, CHA 5


Current Challenge


 


“Sometimes I am two people. Johnny is the nice one. Cash causes all the trouble. They fight."


-Johnny Cash

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Hmm, can we just pretend yesterday didn't happen? No? Oh well...accountability it is. Yeah, I pretty much broke all my goals yesterday - but at least it gives me plenty of opportunity for imperfection training.

 

You got off to a great start. I also avoided the cookies with their evil Jedi Mind Tricks! 

 

 

Damn those cookies and their evil jedi mind tricks! We should just round them all up, take them to the dune sea and cast them into the pit of Carkoon, the nesting place of the old powerful Sarlacc. In his belly they will find a new definition of pain and suffering as they are slowly digested for a thousand years. That'll show them!

 

Since I didn't sort out my gym stuff last night, I couldn't possibly get up and go to the gym this morning...or could I? It occurred to me when I woke up at 5.45 that the whole gym bag packing thing wasn't actually meant as a condition for me going or not, but a strategy I set up to make getting up and go a whole lot easier. Ok, so I had to scramble around a bit to find stuff, and it wasn't as serene and, ehrm, perfect a start to the day that I would like, but I was still in the gym by just after 7am. Did my upper body workout, and at work by 9am. All fine. And! I'm very excited about my new iPod Shuffle which arrived yesterday! Man those things are small! (I last bought an MP3 player around 11 years ago). And cute!!! Mine is purple. It makes me want to go to the gym just so I can use it.

Always kick higher

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Hmm, can we just pretend yesterday didn't happen? No? Oh well...accountability it is. Yeah, I pretty much broke all my goals yesterday - but at least it gives me plenty of opportunity for imperfection training.

 

 

Damn those cookies and their evil jedi mind tricks! We should just round them all up, take them to the dune sea and cast them into the pit of Carkoon, the nesting place of the old powerful Sarlacc. In his belly they will find a new definition of pain and suffering as they are slowly digested for a thousand years. That'll show them!

 

Since I didn't sort out my gym stuff last night, I couldn't possibly get up and go to the gym this morning...or could I? It occurred to me when I woke up at 5.45 that the whole gym bag packing thing wasn't actually meant as a condition for me going or not, but a strategy I set up to make getting up and go a whole lot easier. Ok, so I had to scramble around a bit to find stuff, and it wasn't as serene and, ehrm, perfect a start to the day that I would like, but I was still in the gym by just after 7am. Did my upper body workout, and at work by 9am. All fine. And! I'm very excited about my new iPod Shuffle which arrived yesterday! Man those things are small! (I last bought an MP3 player around 11 years ago). And cute!!! Mine is purple. It makes me want to go to the gym just so I can use it.

You have chosen...wisely. I had a pretty stressful day yesterday, especially putting my father-in-law in an ambulance last night before my hapkido class. There wasn't anything else I could do so and I was freaking out but I went to class anyways. Falling into the warm-up routine helped clear my head and by the time class was over there was no tension left in my neck and shoulders and I felt so much better. I have a shiny red ipod nano that's 3rd gen. The new ones are tiny and cute but I really love this one. Good luck today!

Level 3 Human Monk


STR 8, DEX 4, STA 7, CON 8, WIS 6, CHA 5


Current Challenge


 


“Sometimes I am two people. Johnny is the nice one. Cash causes all the trouble. They fight."


-Johnny Cash

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Thanks Chrissa; today was much better!

Since I hadn't sorted out my lunch and snacks last night, me and a colleague decided to eat at the campus restaurant and it turned out to be roast-day... FINALLY I got to satisfy this (slightly weird) chicken-craving I've been having for the last few days. It was really, really good; big portion of roast chicken and yummy potatoes and veggies to go with it. I definitely have to make sure I get more protein in me.

When I got home from work I ate the last couple of cookies left over from yesterday, but then decided to pull myself together and went for a 12.5k run. It was nice, the weather has been beautiful here today, but I'm very slow right now. My average run-pace just seem to decrease every time I go for a run, which is rather depressing. At least today it felt good, unlike the last couple of times, so I guess that's something.

Will be sorting my stuff for tomorrow very soon, and after that I'm going to sleep very well tonight...the benefits of evening workouts. :)

Always kick higher

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Glad to hear it, and don't worry about your run time for now at least you got out there and enjoyed it.It's actually better for you to have runs like that once in a while and fresh air is never a bad idea. With everything going on here I didn't get much sun today but I did get my workout done and everything is so far so good. I have a link to my My Fitness Pal under my goals in my thread you can use to add me or my username is Chrissa_Hunt. I would be very happy to have you friended there.

Level 3 Human Monk


STR 8, DEX 4, STA 7, CON 8, WIS 6, CHA 5


Current Challenge


 


“Sometimes I am two people. Johnny is the nice one. Cash causes all the trouble. They fight."


-Johnny Cash

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Thanks guys. I definitely need to stop feeling sorry for myself and just get on with it! I'm not sure I yet believe it is possible to be successful without being perfect - but I'm willing to try it out. ;)

JediJem, simply realizing where you have faulted, and then structuring a plan to get yourself through it and over it is the first step to being successful. We all falter; we all have our falls. The best sign that you are going in the right direction is that you realize your mistakes and become a better person because of them. Stick with these thoughts, and you'll realize you are already an improved person than you were the day before.

 

"Go get'em, Tiger!"

Blazedge

Lv.2 MONK <Str: 4, Dex-5, Sta-4, Con-3, Wis-6, Cha-4>

 

Knowing is not enough, you must apply......

......Willing is not enough you must do -  Bruce Lee

 

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Thanks Chrissa; today was much better!

Since I hadn't sorted out my lunch and snacks last night, me and a colleague decided to eat at the campus restaurant and it turned out to be roast-day... FINALLY I got to satisfy this (slightly weird) chicken-craving I've been having for the last few days. It was really, really good; big portion of roast chicken and yummy potatoes and veggies to go with it. I definitely have to make sure I get more protein in me.

When I got home from work I ate the last couple of cookies left over from yesterday, but then decided to pull myself together and went for a 12.5k run. It was nice, the weather has been beautiful here today, but I'm very slow right now. My average run-pace just seem to decrease every time I go for a run, which is rather depressing. At least today it felt good, unlike the last couple of times, so I guess that's something.

Will be sorting my stuff for tomorrow very soon, and after that I'm going to sleep very well tonight...the benefits of evening workouts. :)

12.5k is a nice distance regardless of pace. Packing for the gym is a nice way of reinforcing the habit. I believe Steve's advice for missing a work out is "get over it". Seems like that's what you did. It's still early in the challenge you'll have many more successes than failures.

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JediJem, simply realizing where you have faulted, and then structuring a plan to get yourself through it and over it is the first step to being successful. We all falter; we all have our falls. The best sign that you are going in the right direction is that you realize your mistakes and become a better person because of them.

You are right of course. I was thinking yesterday about how much I feel like failure for making such slow progress with the thesis, and often feeling as I am simply stuck in the same spot. Then I thought about the rest of my work life, and how over the past 3 years I have successfully project managed a huge study under some rather difficult circumstances; how I've become comfortable in new roles (leadership, teaching) and even set up and ran a course for our postgrads from scratch. I'm known as the 'expert' on certain methodology with some of our collaborative departments, and have been asked to hold courses and seminars on this. I'm in a VERY different place now than I was 3 years ago; I've just let the lack of progress in one area (PhD) completely define me. It did make me reassess things. At least temporarily. ;)

Always kick higher

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Today was a mixed kind of day, but mostly good. I got up a little later than usual; had a spot of insomnia around 4am this morning so when the alarm went off I was still really tired. In the end though, I made it to the gym for lower body workout which was:

20 x lunges (with KBs)

20 x crunches

12 x goblet sumo squats (with KB)

20 x bicycle crunches

12 x single leg deadlifts (with KBs)

12 x reverse crunches

I do this as a circuit with no rest in between (other than occasionally stopping to catch my breath ;) ), usually repeated 3 times but today only twice because I was running late. Also, 10 mins in the stepper to warm up.

Lunch was a nice veggie stew, and then I had to go to see my doctor for a routine appointment. This unfortunately turned out to not be so routine after all but a bit complicated, and left me in quite a bit of discomfort. Nothing too serious, but I'll have to go back next week which I really hadn't expected. On my way home I stopped at the pharmacy of the supermarket to pick up a prescription, and while I waited for that to be filled I relented and bought chocolate... Quite a lot of chocolate!

Once I got back home I allowed some self-pity time, but as to not fail the 'not substitute real food with junk' goal I then made some rather gorgeous (even if I do say so myself) chicken teriyaki and avocado+tomato salad. All in all I have had WAY more calories than I'm supposed to today, but I still feel the day has been a win of sorts.

Always kick higher

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Sweet circuit I'm impressed. I might have to steal that workout sometime. I faltered a bit today too. The cookies really were a problem but I settled for a handful of the crumbles of chocolate chunks left in the bottom of the box of frozen dough and ate my lunch right away to stop me from going back for more. I brushed and was right back on track. A small victory but important one. I need to stop the rationalization I am using at work right now. I know I'll be changing jobs by as early as next week possibly and I won't be around those stupid frozen cookies anymore. No willpower needed anymore = easy win. I read your post not long after that happened and it really encouraged me not to beat myself up over it and stay strong. Thank you for that. I'm glad we're in this together. I feel kind of drained tonight but I refuse to let it hold me back knowing I'll get plenty of rest on the road tomorrow. Tonight I will own my hapkido class. I'm gonna listen to my favorite motivating song before I go!

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/NGhyL8zg3_I" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Level 3 Human Monk


STR 8, DEX 4, STA 7, CON 8, WIS 6, CHA 5


Current Challenge


 


“Sometimes I am two people. Johnny is the nice one. Cash causes all the trouble. They fight."


-Johnny Cash

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