Time to get seriously serious

[superaggie79]

I'm Tell (yes that's my real name), 

 

29 year old web developer living in a tiny North Central town in Texas. 

 

In high school I was pretty athletic and have always felt like an athlete but I let my body go and I'm trying to get back. When I was a power lifter I was up one rep max of 335 lbs bench, 495 deadlift (500 was a mental thing I couldn't push past) and a 485 squat. Even at those relatively good numbers for a 220 lb power lifter in high school I was "fat". Always had the love handles and a paunch. I now realize it's because I was eating crap. It didn't bother me that much because I was an offensive lineman and if I wanted to be good at that position I needed to be a little heavier and in high school athlete's minds there's nothing else other than their sports.

 

After my senior year I ballooned because I just quit working out and still ate crap. In college I would go from extremes of 190 lbs to 230 lbs in seemingly months. 

 

After college I got addicted to drinking Monster energy drinks and candy bars to keep up with work and before you knew it I was at 260 lbs. Playing city league softball one night I ruptured the patellar tendon in left leg. 100% clean tear with my kneecap up in my thigh. I was devastated but tried to stay positive. After surgery and a couple of months of recovery I tripped on a curb and re-tore the tendon. So surgery again and a much longer and slower recovery. My left thigh is severely atrophied and I don't have 100% range of motion. Top that off with having random PTSD like fears that I'm going to trip and mess it up again and I didn't work out for a couple of years. 

 

I was back at 265 and miserable. I decided to eat better and work out. I started running a little and eating better. I also got reallllly depressed which meant I'd go days without eating and lo and behold I lost 30 lbs. Obviously not in a healthy way.

 

Fast forward to this past fall. My wife and I had a little one on the way and I was determined to lose weight and get in shape to be there for my baby. When I didn't get immediate results I was frustrated. I was stressed at work and spiraled into depression (I guess for my "depression diet"). I went and talked with a therapist and we decided to have some testing done. 

 

So here I was 2 weeks after my baby was born and 2 weeks before my 29th birthday and I get a diagnosis of having Bipolar Disorder with the symptoms displaying as General Anxiety Disorder, Massive Depression and ADHD. It was a kick in the face and I didn't handle it to well. After understanding it all better and learning how to manage these things I'm better  and my therapist and I have talked about how this could've affected my goals including weight loss and how to try and keep it from veering off course and into disaster.

 

So there it all is. I've always said that I don't care what the scale says as long as I look great. Right now my short term goals are to get down to a 34" waist and lose the man-boobs and the love handles. I know those last two aren't exactly measurables but it's pretty easy to see. 

 

And now I'll stop rambling. Looking forward to it. 

[Laureleye]

I have kind of bad knees, so OW! OW! OW!  Time to start a nice slow & steady recovery plan.  A number of people on the forum, myself included, have seen improvement in their depression from healthy eating and consistent workouts - especially strength training.  If you click on the nerd fitness tab and go to the resources, you'll find a guide to healthy eating - I highly recommend it.  You can also join the challenge that is in progress.  Go to the challenge FAQs for more info.  Welcome to the rebellion.

[superaggie79]

Thanks and I completely agree. I went on a two week food bender at the end of may and quit working out and my wife told me it was very obvious that my mood completely changed when I stopped. 

[Guest asdf]

It sounds like you've been through a lot. Welcome to NF; we're glad to have you here and you happen to be among a communitythat is d**n supportive. I think you'll find things beginning to look up once you get into a routine of working out and eating right. Be sure to start your own battle log thread to keep track of your progress. Do keep us posted about how things are going for you as time goes on.