Feeling fed up

[ssDOit]

I posted in this blog a couple of months ago about my weight struggles. I still have them. I have actually gained more weight since then. I am 5'7" and 173 lbs. I used to be 5'7" 135 lbs. For some reason, in the beginning of my weight gain, I lied to myself saying that I was not getting bigger. told myself that I still fit into the clothes that I wanted to and still felt good about myself. After 20 lbs later, that was no longer the case. I saw pictures and was really unhappy with myself. I still didn't want to admit it to myself though so I still ate like I still had my metabolism of a high schooler (I'm 23, now). I have been doing a lot of reflecting lately and I realized I ate everytime I was depressed. I ate everytime I thought I was fat which made me depressed. I wanted to not be the fat girl trying to lose weight by not eating that slice of cake or pizza. I was somehow ashamed to admit to myself that I could not have some foods to limit my calories for the day and to be healthier. I used to be the girl that brags about how I can finish an entire pizza and felt great because I was 135 lbs. Now, I would eat the entire pizza because I feel depressed about being fat. I am also trying to reach happiness by having an addiction with shoe shopping because my shoe size hasn't changed.

 

Now I am just tired. I am tired of the lies I tell myself. I am just done. I tell people now I can't eat that huge cupcake because I am trying to lose weight. I am trying to be healthy. I went to the doctor the other day and found out I had high cholesterol and low HDLs. I read the blogs and posts on this site and everyone really inspires me. I am now starting out small but trying to walk everyday and do a quick kettlebell swing or a work out in the morning before I shower. Any tips on motivation or eating or staying on track would be greatly appreciated .

[FalseAesop]

The vicious cycle of eating comfort food when depressed is one I know too well. I feel for you there, also the denial, been there. The important thing is you made a choice.

That's what it is all about. Choice. You've got a lot of choices ahead. You'll have to make it every day. To eat right, to eat healthy, to eat enough and not too much, that sometimes you want food but you don't need it. It can be done. You can do it. I'm not going to tell you that it is easy, but it is simple. Eat right, exercise. I've lost 120 pounds. I'm not going to say "you can too" because that would leave you like 50 pounds and that'd be terrible... But you can reach your goals.

Welcome to the Rebellion.