'Fat Talk' Compels but Carries a Cost

[puddletheduck]

For anyone who's interested, an article in the NYT, mainly directed at women, about how the "fat talk" of our day-to-day relationships can be damaging.

I like this quote:

"But putting a stop to fat talk is difficult ... in part because it feels airless and scripted and seems to offer the responder no avenue to change the dynamic without threatening the relationship."

Here is the article: http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/05/27/fat-talk-compels-but-carries-a-cost/

[Georges]

I liked the article - thought provoking.  A little light on suggestions for alternatives (or, in a more positive note, not a bossy article trying to tell us what to think/say!).

[twitchii]

OMG I do this a lot O_O

 

However, I do have a counterpoint (which may come across as a shear denial that I don't have a body image problem - which I probably do).  That is, for those of us who are just really health conscience and like to talk about it, we probably come of as a shallow, a&*holes when engaging in 'fat-talk'.  It doesn't necessarily mean we have a low body image - it's just something we like to talk about...

 

Either way, the article is right that its no way to conduct a friendship.

[UberTumbleweed]

OMG I do this a lot O_O

 

However, I do have a counterpoint (which may come across as a shear denial that I don't have a body image problem - which I probably do).  That is, for those of us who are just really health conscience and like to talk about it, we probably come of as a shallow, a&*holes when engaging in 'fat-talk'.  It doesn't necessarily mean we have a low body image - it's just something we like to talk about...

 

Either way, the article is right that its no way to conduct a friendship.

 

There's a difference between negative fat-talk and talking about our bodies.  The negative fat-talk doesn't have solutions; it's all problems.  "I'm too short and fat.  I shouldn't have eaten that brownie.  I can't wear those, my thighs are too fat.  Urg, I'll have to run for HOURS to work this dinner off."

 

Compare to: "My shorter legs make this lift a little difficult; what modifications can I do?  I want that brownie; how does it fit my macros this week?  With all the muscle I've gained lately, these pants are a bit uncomfortable on my thighs.  I'm going for a two hour run for my training and I'm excited to see how my body reacts."

 

If you're putting yourself down just to keep a conversation moving, you probably do have some pretty serious self-esteem issues.  If you're talking about your body because you're working towards bodily improvement and feel great about discussing it, then it's not fat talk.

 

Your comment makes me feel that you do the former, but would like to do the latter.  It's tough work to change the paradigm and shift how you talk about yourself, but it can be done!  I'm a recovered fat talker.  My physical and mental health is a lot better since I stopped fat-talking myself down.

[puddletheduck]

It's tough work to change the paradigm and shift how you talk about yourself, but it can be done!  I'm a recovered fat talker.  My physical and mental health is a lot better since I stopped fat-talking myself down.

 

Congrats! That's really impressive. I don't think I'm too bad of a fat talker, but the article certainly made me think about some of the throwaway comments I tend to make and how they're not emotionally healthy.

 

I find what you say about turning negative into positive really insightful. Not just for the fat talking we do about ourselves but dealing with other people's fat talk. I need to think about this more to work out how to do it in a non-preachy way (!), but the idea of steering a fat-talk conversation from negative to positive is really good.

 

Thanks