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I am 52. I am Paleo, however, I live with people who "don't believe in it." I gave them links to the Beginner's Guide so they could understand. The more aggressive roommate read a couple of sentences, pronounced it "Atkins" and told me I needed to eat grains and no diet that wouldn't let me have a little cheese when I wanted it was any good (She didn't have a response when I asked it it was heroin I wanted instead of cheese). Since then, she's taken over cooking for the group, mostly stir fried food with the rice already added. Then gets pissed when I won't eat it. 

 

I don't want to compromise on this but I don't want any more screaming fits directed at me. 

 

Suggestions. 

Susanth

 

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Why does she get to be in charge of group cooking?  

 

You are in charge of your own body, just buy and cook your own food.  If she gets P***y about it, tell her where she can go, and keep cooking for yourself.  This is one of those times you may have to suck it up for the sake of your body.

 

You can't convince her your way is right for everyone, but that doesn't mean that she automatically gets to be in the right because she has an opinion different from yours.

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Why does she get to be in charge of group cooking?  

 

This

Just buy/cook your own food... if she complains just say "oh I have this that I made that I'm going to eat" no judging them about their choices no I can't eat your crummy food just "I already have this so I can't eat that"

One thing that gets me out of fixes when eating with other people is that I've adopted this form of eating (Paleoish) as a response to intestinal issues... when I eat poorly I feel ill and actually develop nausea/diarrhea... my friends know this and know how much better I feel now... people who don't know me well I just say something like "oh I'm weird I have issues and don't eat + insert random non paleo food+ because it makes me ill" (I only add the because it makes me ill if they push the matter)

please forgive typos and such... autocorrect is not my friend and my phone is a goofball.... gotta love tapatalk!

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Your friend sounds like a control freak. If they can't make you do it their way, you aren't doing it right. People like that typically crave outside control because they have no control of their own life. Try to get her involved, ask her to help keep you honest within the diet. Something that makes her feel she has some control and gets her involved so she can see the truth.

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Dealt with the same thing, when first starting out on Paleo my friends and family thought I was crazy. Even had one friend bluntly say, "You're going to gain weight by eating that way, eat like the Asians. They eat all that rice and they're skinny" ERRR!!!!!

 

Unfortunately, you can show them all the research and articles all you want (been there, accomplished nothing) and they still won't get it. For me, every time someone would tell me what I'm eating won't help me lose weight I would smile and keep my mouth shut. You could keep beating a dead horse with the Paleo talk, but you'll get the same outcome every time......a dead horse.

 

I always have the mentality "I don't eat ______" (don't is always better than can't) whether that's rice, bread, certain fruits, dairy, whatever. If someone would ask me why, again "I just don't eat it". In my perspective, it's an easier "out" than explaining Paleo, and if you keep repeating it to them they'll eventually get bored and change topics.

 

And lastly, let the results speak for themselves, girlie!

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wait.  I thought we were masters of our bodies- which meant you get to deciede what to put in your mouth.

 

I'd ask her if it were snickers it'd be okay? or doughnuts? or as you put it heroin.  

 

Fuck her.

 

You are responsible for what goes in your mouth. I like to just tell people I"m giving it a 30 day trial- see how it affects my body- my skin- my workouts my energy.

People seem more accommodating to "trying" something out than the "I never eat"  bla.

 

I also don't leave room for question.

I don't eat bread.  I don't eat rice.

 

My closest of close know that when we go to cous cous- I eat the shit out of some bread.  And I eat the shit out of some rice for sushi day. 

 

But otherwise- I just don't eat it. People are used to it by now- I eat the meat out of sammiches and nothing else- plates of bread piled up next to me- whatever- I don't care. Judge me all you want- you aren't responsbile for what my body looks like.

 

I always like to tell people- when you look like me- or better than me- and can dead lift your own body weight and THEN some... then get back to me.  Until then- keep doing what you are doing- and I'll do what I'm doing. 

 

Fuckers- I hate people sometimes- stop being so damn petty- why does it bother you- OH THAT"S RIGHT- IT DOESN'T.

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I always like to tell people- when you look like me- or better than me- and can dead lift your own body weight and THEN some... then get back to me.  Until then- keep doing what you are doing- and I'll do what I'm doing.

Eh, from the other side of the fence, it really doesn't work that way. :playful: 

 

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I do realize that only works if you are seeing progress or are at a starting point where you can tell someone that.  I've fortunately never been truly over weight so I have a lot of room to say it.  And I tend to speak first- think later.

 

But I just have a very low tolerance for other people's fucking bullshit- don't put your problems on me.  And they do that A LOT.  

 

I almost exploded over a girl at headquarters, first I declined something and she goes- that's right you are trying to loose weight... and then when she was passing around a chocolate bar- I declined- she goes- that's right- you are trying to be a size zero.

 

I was like. WAIT.  LOOK- I don't know where you got this idea that I'm trying to lose weight- or become skinny... because I'm not- I eat upwards of 2500 calories a day (at the time I was trying to get bigger).  Don't put your personal issues on me.  You have no idea what I'm doing- or where I'm going.  so sit down- and shut the fuck up.   The whole room got really quiet- but you don't put your issues on me- You don't try to skinny shame me- or make me feel bad - or make me sound like a bad person because I have fucking goals and a will to enforce what I want.  You WILL NOT make me feel like less of a person.  Because it's the exact opposite.  The EXACTFUCKINGOPPOSITE.

 

I just seriously don't deal with it well- hence the sarcastic biting commentary.... so yeah- usually it's fuck off and mind your own damn business..  

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I do realize that only works if you are seeing progress or are at a starting point where you can tell someone that.  I've fortunately never been truly over weight so I have a lot of room to say it.  And I tend to speak first- think later.

 

But I just have a very low tolerance for other people's fucking bullshit- don't put your problems on me.  And they do that A LOT.  

 

I almost exploded over a girl at headquarters, first I declined something and she goes- that's right you are trying to loose weight... and then when she was passing around a chocolate bar- I declined- she goes- that's right- you are trying to be a size zero.

 

I was like. WAIT.  LOOK- I don't know where you got this idea that I'm trying to lose weight- or become skinny... because I'm not- I eat upwards of 2500 calories a day (at the time I was trying to get bigger).  Don't put your personal issues on me.  You have no idea what I'm doing- or where I'm going.  so sit down- and shut the fuck up.   The whole room got really quiet- but you don't put your issues on me- You don't try to skinny shame me- or make me feel bad - or make me sound like a bad person because I have fucking goals and a will to enforce what I want.  You WILL NOT make me feel like less of a person.  Because it's the exact opposite.  The EXACTFUCKINGOPPOSITE.

 

I just seriously don't deal with it well- hence the sarcastic biting commentary.... so yeah- usually it's fuck off and mind your own damn business..  

Can we be friends?

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Fuckers- I hate people sometimes- stop being so damn petty- why does it bother you- OH THAT"S RIGHT- IT DOESN'T.

 

Eh, do we know about the specifics here to know that it doesn't?  If people are sharing the cooking duties and want to make their favourite things (and that favourite is cheese or whatever), then asking them to change does effect them.

 

I'm not saying they shouldn't be supportive, but people you live with (and share a kitchen with) are not the same as the people you work with.  Honestly, if I lived with someone and they started some new eating plan I'd support them, but if they tried to convernt me (and handing someone material might cross that line for me) I wouldn't be particularly happy about it.  And honestly comparing cheese to heroin is just asking for a reaction - that's not a neutral comment in the same way that a simple "No thanks, I don't eat that" is.

 

 

 

I always like to tell people- when you look like me- or better than me- and can dead lift your own body weight and THEN some... then get back to me.  Until then- keep doing what you are doing- and I'll do what I'm doing.

What if they already can/already do?

 

Again, I'm all in favour of people supporting each other, but we don't know that the OP's roommate is fat or unfit - and myabe they are - but at this point we just know that they like cheese.

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Since then, she's taken over cooking for the group, mostly stir fried food with the rice already added. Then gets pissed when I won't eat it. 

 

an we be friends?

 

FUR SURE. (Insert funny GIF I don't have) 

 

Eh, do we know about the specifics here to know that it doesn't? 

 

 

I don't think we need to know more past this 

I don't want to compromise on this but I don't want any more screaming fits directed at me.

 

Someone who gets that angry and pissed when you won't eat their food?  really- wildly inappropriate. 

 

 

 If people are sharing the cooking duties and want to make their favourite things (and that favourite is cheese or whatever), then asking them to change does effect them

 

To a point yes- but to the same effect you can't dictate what other people eat.  And that goes both ways.  There is no reason she couldn't cook the rice OUTSIDE the rest of the food.  OP said the roommate has "since then taking over cooking and gets' pissed when I don't eat it"

 

I have a roommate- actually this will be my second roommate.  My first roommate and I had similar tastes until her  heart burn got wildly out of control.  So we adjusted.  My now roommate is a slob a pig and gives no fuck what he eats.  He eats lots of things I don't.  Guess what- when he wants rice with his stir fry- he makes it.  When we make meat sauce- one of us will make pasta- I don't eat it- I just eat the meat sauce (its really more of meat with sauce on it than sauce with meat in it- mostly to compensate for the fact I don't eat pasta).  It's one of those things- if you want EXTRA- you cook or tell me and we adjust.  Roommate doesn't cook.  I do.  If he cooked- I"m sure he would make minor adjustments for me.  If not guess what- I would cook around him and eat my own shit. 

 

My boyfriend eats about 2 of the things that I eat... my good friend is allergic to lots of the things I eat.

I do my best to accommodate them but there is a point- where if you want something specific- cook it yourself. 

 

If you are TAKING OVER the cooking- you need to accommodate the rest of the house. And you can't take it personally when someone doesn't want the crap you cook.  My roommate has left food I cooked and won't eat it- I didn't care- I ate it and moved on. That's how it works. 

 

 

 

What if they already can/already do?

 

then you can talk about diet things.  That was my point.   If you can do what I do- and or you look as good as I do if not better- then we will talk about diet things.  If not get to stepping. 

 

Again, I'm all in favour of people supporting each other, but we don't know that the OP's roommate is fat or unfit - and myabe they are - but at this point we just know that they like cheese

 

.

You are correct- but if someone was super fit- I suspect they would probably be more supportive of dietary changes for health reasons.  

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My roommate has left food I cooked and won't eat it- I didn't care- I ate it and moved on. That's how it works.

 

That's my point - the other person can't force her to eat what she cooks (unless they're in prison, of course ;)), so why does it matter?

 

And if they're complaining, are they doing it to be mean or are they just making conversation?  My husband and I eat separate meals easily three quarters of the time and sometimes we complain a little bit to each other ("I slaved over the hot barbeque..."), but it's more humour than anything else, y'know?

 

 

 

You are correct- but if someone was super fit- I suspect they would probably be more supportive of dietary changes for health reasons.

I know I've told this story in other threads before, but I used to work in an office with two ladies on Weight Watchers, a woman and a guy on an ultra low calorie diet, a bodybuilder, a serious martial arts/wrestling dude, and then myself (runner/climber).  The dieters almost constantly snarked on what I and the martial arts guy ate (and the bodybuilder when he was in post-show mode) - and we tiny* people who did eat a lot (and quite a bit of it was what's considered junk food), but we weren't forcing it on any of them, we were just doing our thing.

 

Since then,  I've heard that a couple of those dieters complained outside the office that the two (sometimes three) of us were being unsupportive by eating in front of them, or by getting the occasional order of fries and offering to share it (not forcing them, not mocking them for saying no, just being friendly).   I wasn't unsympathetic, but not joining in was apparently all it took to be seen as such.

 

As a result, whenever I hear about these conversations I do wonder about the other side, because I can imagine one of them complaining on some forum somewhere about her/his unsupportive coworkers with the doughnuts and the fries.

 

So if someone seems to be undermining you, I always want to know if they're genuinely jerks or if there's just some different in perspective going on.  I just really hate seeing strangers getting slammed so quickly when we have such a tiny picture of who they are.  Maybe they are horrible, but maybe not!

 

 

*And short. LOL

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I bury my haters under a pile of peer reviewed studies. If they say they have read them I ask them obscure questions relating to the article. If they can't answer I tell them they obviously haven't read it carefully enough and to come back and discuss it with me when they have. Most people are happy to just let me do my thing rather than force themselves to read 50+ articles on the evils of grain, sugar and processed goods.

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"No-one tells a T-Rex when to go to sleep".

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The best way I have found is by saying " Listen, I've done it the old way for some damn long and look where it has got me. I want to try something different. Life is one big experiment." 

 

Then I usually follow it up by throwing bacon in their face. But that's just me :) 

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"Pull the bar like you're ripping the head off a god-damned lion" - Donny Shankle

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Well, that sucks.

I'll second that your roommate sounds like a control freak. The best solution if you can't move out (or kick her out...?), is to cook your own meals. Who cares if she gets uppity? That's her problem. Funny, when I saw your thread title I was reminded of this guy: (the Underminer from the Incredibles)

354px-The_Underminer.jpg

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I find just wispering the word "diet" sets people off into judgement mode.  I've been telling my family that I'm "detoxing" aka eliminating foods that affect my body negatively.  My mom finds it annoying, but so be it.  I refused to take home a ziplock bag full of pasta after a party and she said, "Oh yeah.  You're dieting."  I said, no, I'm detoxing.  Pasta makes me feel horrible."  Like many others have said, you have to make it about you.  Don't bash anyone else's eating style.  Show their choices respect and (hopefully) they'll respect your choices in return. 

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coincidentally i started the paleo diet the beginning of this year not as a "new years resolution". been sticking to it pretty well. but there are many people around me who are skeptics and non believers. more specifically at my work. because everybody and there momma at work decided to do a weight loss challenge provided by our health adviser at work, and me being the 6 foot tall bean pole i am i didn't sign up for it, because im not going to lose weight, so everyone  just looks at me crazy or says something negative like"why the hell are you on a diet , you don't need to lose weight?". when they see me in the break room eating whatever paleo concoction i had that day. 

   

    i usually comeback with something witty and funny, you cant always make people understand, or at least  not right off the bat.

 

in my eyes i don't see it as a diet anymore. i see it now  more as a lifestyle change, only with what i eat,  and it has made a few positive changes in just the short while i have been on it.

and in that time i have even influenced a few people into makeing a few changes, not to full paleo but to their diet none the less.

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Yeah, the word diet never goes well. It is too much a trigger word. So if you're doing weight watchers, paleo, fast beach, whatever the hell, don't call it a diet. Just say you're trying to eat a little healthier.

 

I'm trying to be paleo, my fiance is not. I do most of the cooking in our relationship, and if I say a dish is paleo, if I mention the mere presence of spaghetti squash in a dish, something like that, she won't like it. I just try to say "I'm making XYZ from scratch". she still knows what I'm doing ,but it ends up working out better somehow. We've worked out a few things where I'll ask her not to buy certain foods or buy less of them. I want goldfish, I'm trying not to eat them, I've just got to suck it up because asking her to obstain would be dangerous for my health.

 

Just try to hold steady with what you're doing and be happy with yourself.

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