Ashknife attacks! The slime takes 1 damage!

[ashknife]

 

A quest to save the princess and rid the land of the Dragonlord must begin by killing the slimes and red slimes outside Tantegel Castle with nought but the clothes on your back and a pointy bamboo stick.

 

So, with that in mind, I must start my quest by killing the slimes. But, what is that quest?

 

Main Quest: Defeat the Dragonlord

 

Defeating the Dragonlord is no small feat. It requires much training, top-notch equipment, and effective use of magic. Who is this Dragonlord? Why, to put it simply, it's being morbidly obese. As of this date, I weigh 360 pounds. I want to get it somewhere between 150-180. That's a lot of pounds to lose. If I do it all at once, I can hurt or even kill myself. But, if I start where I am at and make steady progress, I can eventually take him on. So, let's start with some basic quests to earn experience and gain strength.

 

Mission 1: Cut out junk snacks and drinks

 

I have already started working on this, but I haven't cut out everything just yet. It's time to cut ties with the slimes that beg me to consume them and be satisfied with their crunchety sweet and/or saltiness and their bubbly pleasure. For this challenge, I will not drink a single coke nor indulge in snack foods such as chips, candy, crackers, and the like. If I need a snack, it shall be nuts, fruit, or jerky (real jerky, not flavored meat sticks like Slim Jims). The goal is here is to cut out a major source of sugar, salt, and calories.  This would be a difficult goal, but since I have already started working towards it, I think this achievable.

 

A - 0 days of junk snacks consumed

B - 1 day of junk snacks consumed

C - 2 days of junk snacks consumed

D - 3 days of junk snacks consumed 

F - 4+ days of junk snacks consumed

 

Mission 2: Seek membership at the local YMCA, employ a personal trainer, and begin a sustainable workout plan

 

I *could* start out on a major workout plan...but that would be stupid. I didn't get this big overnight. Trying to do a ton of activity to counter my size without professional help will likely make things worse for me. At best, I get burned out right away, give up, and wait for my heart to explode on its own. This goal is about going to the first town and seeking its services and goods to equip me for my adventure. So, it's basically a pass/fail kind of thing. Since I haven't a clue how to really get started with exercise, hiring a licensed professional to help me get started seems to be a wise idea.

 

A - I do this

F - I don't

 

Mission 3: Walk around

 

In contrast to the mission above, there is something I can do for a workout while getting in at the local Y: walk. There are parks in the city with walking trails. My workplace has an indoor track. I can walk a mile or two or three each day. While killing slimes, it's hard not to notice that there's a whole lot of world out there to explore, and it's tempting to go out and see what's there, dangers be damned. Since I have not been in the habit of walking for a while, I need to start the habit and build up from there. Walking a mile is not difficult and doesn't take a very long time. From there, I can build up to doing 2-3 miles or more as I am able. Perhaps a better goal would be to walk for a certain amount of time. As I lose weight, I imagine I'll end up walking faster and faster.

 

A - walk at least a mile thirty minutes at least 5 days a week

B - walk at least a mile thirty minutes 4 days a week

C - walk at least a mile thirty minutes 3 days a week

D - walk at least a mile thirty minutes 2 days a week

F - walk at least a mile thirty minutes 1 day a week...or not at all

 

Sidequest - Write

 

If nobody had written anything, how would we know of the deeds of Erdrick? I used to write. I used to write a lot. I got out of the habit of it. With that, I lost a means to stave off or deal with depression. It's time to bring that back.  I'd like to write at least a paragraph a day.

 

Motivation

 

What would cause a guy like me to suddenly want to get in better shape? It all started with a visit to the doctor to treat some gout a couple weeks ago. I hadn't been to the doctor's office in years because I don't get sick often. But, damn, the pain would not just go away. So, to the doctor I went. And when I was called in, to the scales I went. Damn, I gained ten pounds in three years. To the blood pressure machine I went. What? This can't be! It's over 180/110!!!!! (I wrote that with Vegeta in mind there.) The doctor saw that and said, "Forget the gout, your blood pressure is going to kill you!"

 

I'm a single man in my early 30s. My friends and family love me to pieces. I make people laugh. My job affects how people are able to get research for their papers at my university...and they say I do an astounding job at that. Someday, I hope to meet a nice lady, get married, settle down, and have a family. I have some books to write. Hell, I want to create a video game.  But none of that is going to happen if I suddenly die of a massive heart attack in my sleep, which is the same manner that my grandpa left this world.

 

Also, I'm tired of being tired, staying at home most days plugging away at raids new gear or just sitting around doing nothing. I want to enjoy the rest of my life, however long it may last from here on out. So, I need to get in better shape so that I can have a better life for myself, for those who love me, and maybe even for those who may one day call me "Daddy".

 

Conclusion

 

The Dragonlord will be vanquished. The land will be safe again. I will have a healthy, active life.

 

TL;DR, and what the hell is up with the Dragon Warrior references?

 

I am really overweight, not active at all. Also, severe hypertension. I am making small changes now in preparation for bigger changes in the future. Also, I didn't want to make this post totally boring.

[Omega v1.1]

Those are some great starting goals you've got there. When it comes to trying to get fit, small manageable steps are a lot better for long term success than trying to take massive leaps. If you try to drop 50 pounds in a week or radically change your whole diet in one go, chances are you're going to slip and fail and be left more demotivated than when you started. However by making several small changes and then continue to add more changes over time, you're much more likely to stick with them.

 

Writing a little bit a day is also a great habit to get into as you'll be exercising your mind too and you never know where it might lead you. The comedian Richard Herring decided to start a daily blog so that he would be forcing himself to constantly be coming up with new ideas and he's now been doing it non-stop since the end of 2002, writes at least a whole hour and a half of new material each year and has even published two books of his entries.

 

To quote you then: The Dragonlord will be vanquished. The land will be safe again. You will have a healthy, active life.

[ashknife]

Thanks. I was a little worried that I was starting off doing a little too little.

 

Interesting bit: since I started cutting out cokes and junk snacks a week and a half ago, I've lost roughly 12 lbs. (I started out at 370). The little things are already making something of a difference.

[Teirin]

Is that a Kyon icon I spy?

[ashknife]

"What? That thing? Yes, yes it is." Dammit, I've already been found it. Though, if she finds out I'm doing something other than club activities, my life will be nothing short of a living hell! I mean, really, Haruhi, can't I do something normal with my life every once in a while?

[Teirin]

hahahaha awesome.  Love that anime.  Blast it, now I need to rewatch some of it.  *pulls up Crunchyroll*.  Curse you Ashknife!  The best possible way, of course.

[ashknife]

That's probably my favoritest anime ever. When I finally got a PS3 last year, I made it a point to get The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya as my first Blu-ray.

 

...

 

I want to watch it all again. Dammit!

[PNH]

I wish you very good luck on the goals, but I do have one small piece of advice. I don't know how long walking a mile takes you, but I'd suggest changing "walk at least a mile" to "walk a half hour a day" and the 9 minutes and 19 seconds in this video will overwhelmingly explain why.

 

[Teirin]

Nice!  Hmm, would it be permissible to start a rewatch thread somewhere for it?  Maybe set it up as a reward?  I did X thing today (workout, ate right, whatever) so I get to watch an ep?

[ashknife]

I wish you very good luck on the goals, but I do have one small piece of advice. I don't know how long walking a mile takes you, but I'd suggest changing "walk at least a mile" to "walk a half hour a day" and the 9 minutes and 19 seconds in this video will overwhelmingly explain why.

 

 

As it turns out, it takes me about 25-30 minutes to walk a mile, and I am likely to go for about an hour because I won't feel like I've done anything or gone very far for just half an hour. However, the video was really informative. Your proposed change makes sense. I'll revise the goal.

 

 

Nice!  Hmm, would it be permissible to start a rewatch thread somewhere for it?  Maybe set it up as a reward?  I did X thing today (workout, ate right, whatever) so I get to watch an ep?

 

I don't know where would be a good place for a rewatch thread. Isn't there a board for non-fitness topics?

 

Using it at a reward may not be a good idea, though, because I'll be like, "Crap, I reeeaaaaally want to see Nagato take out Asakura," and then suddenly it's six hours later with the first season watched and spending money I shouldn't acquiring the novels.

[Teirin]

I see your point.

[ashknife]

You know something? I've always wanted to cosplay whenever I go to a convention, but I didn't because a) I'm lazy, and I felt my size would severely detract from the characters I wanted to play as. So, perhaps a suitable long-term reward would be this: if I manage to drop 100 lbs or more by the end of March (which appears to be pretty doable at this point), I'll put together the stuff necessary to go to A-Kon 25 as Kyon.

[Mortikar]

Hey asheknife,

 

First of all, welcome to the group FMP! The first part where you said the thing about poking with a sharp bamboo, that actually had me laughing for like 3 minutes and I didn't know why.

 

Secondly, check out the guide again and don't forget to include the section about your motivation. This is pretty key. Self-awareness is the only way to change ourselves. Its not enough to just think about why you want it, write it down so you're forced to read it. So you're forced to watch your hands manifest the thoughts to reality through pen and paper or keyboard and screen. And don't stop there, be concious of all your thoughts and chase the feelings of the good ones.

 

I see a lot of myself in the words you posted above and I don't even know you but trust me when I tell you that I seriously want to see you succeed. I want to see you be the happiest most comfortable you that you can be, okay? If you ever need to talk or need anything put into perspective, or just need a friendly conversation, i want you to get in touch with me. And that's a serious offer. I mean it, man. I want to see you defeat that dragonlord!

 

So buckle up and keep coming back to tell us your story. It's going to be hard and it's going to suck and sometimes you're going to want to quit. But before you reach for those chips just know that you have a whole community right here who wants to talk you out of it. Welcome to NF!

 

-Mort

[AJSweet]

I dig the DQ references.  Nothing like early game slime grinding.  I'm also focusing on dropping the lbs. and your goals are solid.  I'm doing the walking too.  I started this week.  I found that it can actually be quite relaxing, and if you can bring someone along with you, the time goes by fast.

 

One day you'll be critting metal slimes into submission .  Good luck!

[ashknife]

Mort - Motivation added. You do have a good point about having it written down. It's easy just to keep it in mind, and then forget or distort it whenever it's convenient or things get hectic. But not so much when it's written down. You can't distort the written word without a good bit of effort. Even then, there will be those who looked over your shoulder who will smack you upside the head and say, "What are ya thinking, ya stupid idjit?! Write that back down again and stick to it, ya bum!" I'm looking forward to grinding through this challenge with the lot of ye.

 

AJ - Whenever I start a new game, I always think about the first thirty or so minutes I spend grinding slimes and drakees so I can start wandering around with a Heal spell handy. DQ was the first RPG I played way back in the day, and it was a fun romp. Walking really is a good and relaxing exercise; I should have been doing it much more often than I have been, but alas. Good luck with your challenge!

[wideeyed]

That's probably my favoritest anime ever. When I finally got a PS3 last year, I made it a point to get The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya as my first Blu-ray.

 

...

 

I want to watch it all again. Dammit!

So a reward would be a subscription to crunchyroll. You can watch ALL THE THINGS on your PS3, including currently airing shows (of which Dog and Scissors is my current favorite, but only because we finished Gintama).

For starting out, your goals are excellent. To track progress of your walking, I would highly recommend the Map My Walk app. It will show you time, distance, elevation, calories burned, and speed. It is a great way to see how you are making progress over time. I really love it when I do a normal route faster than usual. I have to take my fitness goals really slowly, so even a 15 second per mile increase is a big deal

Good luck!

[AJSweet]

Thanks, Ash.  Good luck to you too.  I'm a longtime fan of the series.  Getting that extra millage from Heal sure was nice early on.

[Riskva]

Hey ashknife, good luck to you!

 

The Dragonlord is an extremely powerful foe but you have it in your to defeat him.

[ashknife]

So a reward would be a subscription to crunchyroll. You can watch ALL THE THINGS on your PS3, including currently airing shows (of which Dog and Scissors is my current favorite, but only because we finished Gintama).

For starting out, your goals are excellent. To track progress of your walking, I would highly recommend the Map My Walk app. It will show you time, distance, elevation, calories burned, and speed. It is a great way to see how you are making progress over time. I really love it when I do a normal route faster than usual. I have to take my fitness goals really slowly, so even a 15 second per mile increase is a big deal

Good luck!

 

Well...I already subscribe to Crunchyroll. I've kinda already gone and shot myself in the foot when it comes to rewards because I have ready access to reward-type things. I don't have a lot of money, but I don't have a family to support or any other responsibilities beyond paying for rent, utilities, food, and other bills, so I have enough free money to add to my game collection or enjoy streaming services or such and do so already.

 

I honestly think the real reward will be when I have to spend a few hundred dollars replacing my wardrobe because my current set of clothes are way too big to be of any use. I think that will be a very happy day.

 

I have installed the walking app on my phone. I did needed a way to track how far I was going and stuff.

[wideeyed]

Hey, I started a team for those of us whose fitness goals may be a little slow due to health issues. Feel free to join us. We shall celebrate micromovements". It is "To The Pain"

[Omega v1.1]

I honestly think the real reward will be when I have to spend a few hundred dollars replacing my wardrobe because my current set of clothes are way too big to be of any use. I think that will be a very happy day.

 

I've made a promise to myself that if I ever reward myself for achievements to do with exercise, then the rewards will take the form of things that will help me even further, so I occasionally by myself something like a new moisture wicking shirt or a pull-up bar that I can't actually do a pull-up on yet but I've now got it so I can keep on trying. That way I know I'm helping myself with future success and I'll be reminded of my previous successes whenever I use that bit of equipment.

However, it is also pretty frickin' sweet when you buy yourself some new clothes that are several sizes smaller than your old clothes but I guess that also works on the idea that whenever you pull on your new shirt you're remind about how awesome you were for losing the weight in the first place.

[Teirin]

You know something? I've always wanted to cosplay whenever I go to a convention, but I didn't because a) I'm lazy, and I felt my size would severely detract from the characters I wanted to play as. So, perhaps a suitable long-term reward would be this: if I manage to drop 100 lbs or more by the end of March (which appears to be pretty doable at this point), I'll put together the stuff necessary to go to A-Kon 25 as Kyon.

 

That's a great plan!

[Captain Solo]

Ashknife FTW!

 

What video game are you designing / dreaming about?

[ashknife]

There are so many things I want to do. Hopefully, if I can accomplish my sidequest, I can narrow it down some. I really love RPGs, so it'll be that, but I keep wanting to throw together action and traditional and fighting game and a bunch of other stuff into it. It just wouldn't be right with so many elements. And the story keeps changing.

[ashknife]

The challenge begins tomorrow. I am down to 355 lbs. I've gotten used to drinking tap water, purified water, straight black coffee, and straight tea of all sorts. The worst temptation to eat junk will be on Saturdays during the weekly anime viewing with my friends, but if I bring my own snacks, I can get by just fine. Even if I schedule a raid on a weeknight, I can go walk right after work or do it after we decide to pack up for the night. The university has an employee group deal with the local Y; I just need to get the ball rolling on that. Everything is doable. I can do this. I can make this all work out, and probably even more. I can do this. Dear God, the path is open to me, now I must do the work to walk it. Keep my eyes fixed on the prize. There will be better times ahead.