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WildColonialGrrl

Never an iron on earth could hold the WildColonialGrrl: Chapter 3

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Thanks for the hugs guys. Thursday saw me in a crying fit the likes of which I haven't seen in a very long time. My PT was having trouble trying to get me to let go of weights before I hurt myself. I am not good at letting go. She had to teach me physically and then in the way home I let go emotionally too. It felt very strange. Went to a friends place for hugs and to talk it through. Odd the ways body and mind connect that one doesn't expect.

Today was a very big willpower struggle with my food choices. I am trying not to beat myself up about it as in the past it might have been way, way worse! There were biscuits, a bit of a weakness of mine... Mmm so sugary and full of gluten and yummy fat! I didn't have any, but I had a great ham and cheese wrap as it is really hard to knock back a nice looking free lunch. I had some flagging energy levels doing a boring task and there were mini chocolates being offered on a platter. I only had 2 all up for the day when I was feeling very dopey. Then I got home, I have been doing well with resisting biscuits at afternoon tea but my will power was all used up today and there were two fancy biscuits left so Grandma and I had one each. They were a bit different, sticky date pudding cookies... When I say cookies, I mean soggy not crisp like a biscuit. Yummy though. Glad there was only one each left!!

I need to get on the bike this evening and stretch. Erk. Gotta find some willpower for that!

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Looks like you smashed out week 1. Great work! I haven't done the Mullum Mullum trail before but my brother has told me it can be a bit of an obstacle course.

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I know what you mean about using up your will power. I have had similar experiences where I've been 'good' at resisting at work, then when I get home . . .

It doesn't sound too bad, there was restraint.

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It's weird how having a misstep before was 100 times worse than a misstep now.  You got through it and are on track- that's all that matters.

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Looks like you smashed out week 1. Great work! I haven't done the Mullum Mullum trail before but my brother has told me it can be a bit of an obstacle course.

Biggest obstacles were families and I am happy to encourage small people using the tracks on a Sunday! Does he live out that way? What part of Melbourne are you in?

Great week 1! I'm very impressed about your bike goal, my ass hurts just thinking about it. ;)

My ass hurts thinking about it too... Which is why I need to train more!!

It's weird how having a misstep before was 100 times worse than a misstep now. You got through it and are on track- that's all that matters.

True. Weird but true.

Interestingly enough my current reading choice is going into willpower.

Just remember that it's like a muscle and it's getting stronger everyday. :D

Is the title 'Going into willpower'? I recently read Charles Duhigg's 'The power of habit' and part of my goal is based on identifying some of my eating habits so I can find the cue and reward systems involved. There was a post on it somewhere in NF...

Tuesday wasn't so good in some ways but good in others...

My willpower was still broken. There were pastries. They tasted good! They made me feel bad. I recorded it all the way through which proved to be very educational... In brief, it went - bloated/full feeling, sugar high, crash & desire for more, acid reflux, gas, medication. What did I learn? Thinking about it, I have a really hard time with two things; refusing free food/letting things go to 'waste' and acknowledging that even if it tastes good it makes me physically unwell. I used to live like this all the time and think this was normal. In the evening I was tired. Didn't do anything on the bike but managed to do a session on the foam roller.

Wednesday I felt a bit meh, not really surprising given Tuesday. After work I was dragging my heals about going back to taekwondo after two weeks off and feeling overwhelmed by life, but I went and everyone was lovely and I felt better afterwards and got stuff done when I got home. Got more things done again after work today and am off to PT this evening. Exercise is good :)

Cheers for the support!

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My brother was in Abbottsford and our folks are in Wheelers Hill. He did the Mullum Mullum trail out to Ferntree Gully Road one day then up to Mum and Dads. I used to be in Niddrie and I would take the track along the Maribyrnong into town then down the Yarra, meet up with him at Scotch then take the track out to Glen Waverley. Im now in Epping and haven't done a long ride for a long time. I want to get cracking again as the days get longer, warmer and drier. It's one of the most fun ways I have found yet to exercise. 

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Biggest obstacles were families and I am happy to encourage small people using the tracks on a Sunday! Does he live out that way? What part of Melbourne are you in?

My ass hurts thinking about it too... Which is why I need to train more!!

True. Weird but true.

Is the title 'Going into willpower'? I recently read Charles Duhigg's 'The power of habit' and part of my goal is based on identifying some of my eating habits so I can find the cue and reward systems involved. There was a post on it somewhere in NF...

Tuesday wasn't so good in some ways but good in others...

My willpower was still broken. There were pastries. They tasted good! They made me feel bad. I recorded it all the way through which proved to be very educational... In brief, it went - bloated/full feeling, sugar high, crash & desire for more, acid reflux, gas, medication. What did I learn? Thinking about it, I have a really hard time with two things; refusing free food/letting things go to 'waste' and acknowledging that even if it tastes good it makes me physically unwell. I used to live like this all the time and think this was normal. In the evening I was tired. Didn't do anything on the bike but managed to do a session on the foam roller.

Wednesday I felt a bit meh, not really surprising given Tuesday. After work I was dragging my heals about going back to taekwondo after two weeks off and feeling overwhelmed by life, but I went and everyone was lovely and I felt better afterwards and got stuff done when I got home. Got more things done again after work today and am off to PT this evening. Exercise is good :)

Cheers for the support!

Actually it is Charles Duhigg's "Power of Habit", seems we have the same taste in books. :)

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That lt post of mine was a little confused. I think that was all Wednesday... Anyhow, moving right along.

Thursday PT, apparently it was leg day... Future of owww ahead.

Friday, instead of rest day (had that tues) got on indoor bike. Didn't manage much finally understand the concept of 'bonking' in the cycling sense of the word. Didn't have dinner as I wasn't hungry then tried to ride late and had sudden failure at 25 minute mark. Better than nothing.

Today!

Fell over on the bike still attached by the click clack shoes. Bit of a graze and a decent bruise should develop soon. Went exploring didn't quite hit the 50km mark but near enough. See attached pic.

post-14336-0-68751200-1376128812_thumb.j

Am going away next weekend so am about to go cook up a load of chicken in different ways for this week and for the freezer for next week, so no excuses for eating badly. Got to fit in a 75km ride next weekend so taking the bike and intend a couple of laps of Lake Burley Griffiths in Canberra

Tomorrow I may get 20km in with a friend to go see some cyclocross racing locally. Never seen any, so it should be interesting...

So, training working out better than I'd hoped earlier this week. Recovery doing fine with combos of icing, stretching, rolling and tonight a bath! Nutrition goal on target, writing it all down but still room for improvement. Side goals: Devices to bed ok but hard to do, seems to mean I get more sleep so that is a win. Reading is happening even if it is the newspaper over lunch at work. I feels good.

post-14336-0-68751200-1376128812_thumb.j

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Didn't get bath in as leg was still stinging. Busy day today, visited a friend with a 2 wk old baby. Went for another ride with a friend today to watch some cyclocross.

Then after the good stuff, I went to a 2nd birthday party and ate ALL the party foods. There are no forbidden foods in this challenge just logging. I had just exercised, not eaten and it was too tempting. I got bored (I was one of the few people without a small child as an accessory). I got some play in but the sugar and gluten despite being very tasty made me feel physically ill. I thought I might vomit. Then I had the sugar crash and wanted to go strait to bed.

Have to make the decision to stop doing this to myself. But how to make it stick... (The challenge within the goal is what to do with the information afterwards to make change successful?)

Anyhow, overall a successful week of making progress in my goals.

Didn't play at the mini challenge.

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Sorry that you had a fall with your click clack shoes :( I hope you heal up quickly.

I like you cycle route - I might give that a go myself.

I know what you mean with food choices, and it seems to be worse after a big ride. I'm not sure if it is the calorie deficate or if it is 'I deserve it' attitude. Probably a combination.

Well done on getting training rides done. You should be happy with your progress.

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Ouch hope your leg heals fast! 

 

I'm not sure how to learn the eating lesson. I've been struggling with that for months (not sugar/gluten but bingeing in general) and it's just now beginning to really click that if I eat crap, I feel crap. Having it as a challenge goal helps. Being prepared helps! Then I don't know, I think it just takes time to rewire your brain...

 

Anyhow, awesome job on the goals so far!

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I think over time you won't have to worry about forcing yourself to resist that stuff, it just sort of happens over time. I had that happen. I've now gotten to the point where I see all the things, know they will taste good, but knowing they aren't worth it.

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That looks like an awesome riding route. Is there a few hills in there? I don't mind hills at the start of a ride but i don't really want to see any after about 30km's.

How's the leg? Got a decent bruise?

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My graze is healing well.

Been thinking about my diet... I don't "diet" as such, I usually say this is because I am a bit of a hedonist but I like myself too much to go for that punishment type of diet set up. Logging my not so healthy foods and the effect on my body has been eye opening. I am looking for a sustainable lifestyle change and that will take time. I am very impatient and battle the constant media push for do this for 30days, 12 week transformation, blah blah... I feel like I should do some thing more drastic to speed up the fat loss process. But it didn't happen overnight and it won't go away in a hurry either. Eating better, for me, I think, needs to be about how it makes me feel. I have to be able to change my eating habits for me, not for weight/fat loss, not because is "clean" or healthy, but because I feel better when I eat better. I feel like my mindset is slowly changing and my attitude to what I eat may have turned a corner this weekend with how bad I felt after the party food... Today at work there were nice looking leftovers, I avoided the sweet stuff but had some nice rocket, hazelnut, Parmesan, and pear salad for breakfast's second course... And I have done really well all day after that. Change will take time and I need to be patient. Get stronger and more aware of how food makes me feel and the fat should take care of itself... I am pre shark week and feeling bloated and fat. It is on my mind at the moment but conventional wisdom is so prominent and makes so much money from selling this bullshit by trying to make people unhappy about who they are right now. I am happy with who I am right now and loving the changes to my health and strength that are occurring. Can't hurry the rest of the change. Sustainable takes time, repeat til fade...

Thanks for your support. The fitness stuff is easy for me to challenge myself but getting rid of the belly and general cover drives me a wee bit mental...

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I know what you mean. I get so frustrated with my weight, but I know I do best when I just relax and eat as best I can. It gets frustrating when you feel your doing well and exercising the house down and never seem to drop a size. Then I get over it and figure that I want to eat well because its what I enjoy and try and get off the guilt/binge cycle.

Definitely being aware is the best place to start and making small changes that are manageable.

And keep enjoying who you are at the moment, that's the best place to be.

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What helped me change my mindset was 2 things.  1) Never look at the scale.  I went 4 months without checking.  I had to once because I was testing my home gym weights and needed to see how much they actually weighed.  2) Don't look at fat being the GOAL in mind.  Once I dropped 2 pants sizes, I was excited obviously; but I felt different.  I wasn't trying to track a number; I was planning my food since it made sense and I was making sure I got a certain # of exercises in.  I wasn't actively trying to make a measurement.  Instead I knew that I was feeling better and healthier.  The weight loss was just a by-product. 

 

It's the same for me when I play a game.  If I play an RPG and I want to get to a certain level; it takes FOREVER.  I check the experience bar and it goes up a fraction of a centimeter.  When I just play because it's fun; 2 hours go by and *DING*, I got a level and I wasn't trying to force it.

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is to steer the focus away from weight loss and it will come off faster than you think.  I just take it one day at a time.  Did I get my workouts in? yep.  Did I plan my food this week? yup. did I cook it all?  Yup.  Good, time to keep busy doing other things.

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I am happy with who I am right now and loving the changes to my health and strength that are occurring.

 

This is fantastic. Don't forget this!

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You're 100% right about it being a mental shift towards a lifestyle change rather than reaching for the "Fat Blaster 2000!" tablets to make a quick difference.

I have a long way to go but I have lost 6kg over the past year by learning how to cook. There have been other subtle changes but that is the biggest change I have made and the change that has made the biggest difference. I cook healthy, tasty easy dinners 5-6 times a week and have recently started on lunches. There is no real quick fix for something that has taken years to create.

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Thanks guys. I am noticing differences in how my clothes fit and that is nice. It took time to put on and will take time to remove...

I was down the street earlier today and two slim women were power walking past in tight fitting clothes... I looked at their arms and thought to myself, yeah I got more belly but my muscles are getting fairly impressive where I can see them (quads, biceps, calves, shoulders and recently hammies!). I think I get the concept of skinny fat now where before I only saw skinny. I want to be strong!

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I want to be strong!

Ummm... So I dead lifted 105kg twice but couldn't take the 110kg up cleanly... Soon though I reckon. So maybe, I am strong already.

I want to be stronger!

Or to quote Daft Punk - harder, better, faster, stronger!!

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