Incantor's Incantation : The Chant Goes On

[Incantor]

For my first challenge, which was an unofficial self challenge that I did just with myself, I went to the gym and get some exercise every single day for 30 days.  Actually I did 34 continuous days and I felt great.

 

I also participated in the previous NF challenge.  I was pretty down on my progress by the end and was thinking it was a D.  But after I really thought about it, I think maybe I was being too hard on myself and so I have revised it to a C.  It's really difficult for me to stay motivated at this time of year, I always get kind of depressed.  Sometimes really depressed.  So I think the fact that I did maintain some physical activity and stayed pretty up was really good even though I fell short of my goals.  And I feel more like continuing to move forward when I view my last challenge as progress and not failure, so there you have it.

 

It's really kind of strange that the rules have been revised as I was planning on setting up my newest challenge in a similar sort of way to try to really focus on what I am trying to achieve here and not get distracted by side goals which are more entertaining but far less important.  I'm 38 years old with a late November birthday.  By the time I turn 40 I want to be able to consider myself fit.  I need to lose some pounds but I know that I can't focus on the weight because it drives me crazy  I have to sneak up on weight loss by tricking myself into working towards alternate goals that cause weight loss as a side effect.  I'm not really sure how to quantify the level of fitness that I want to achieve, but that's the main overarching goal that I am working towards.  

 

I'm also aware that this time of year is really difficult for me, so I'm going to make my missions easy to complete so that I don't get discouraged.

 

Mission one is to go the gym at least twice a week.  No specific goals there, I just want to go and do whatever I feel like that day.  Cardio, strength training, swimming, whatever.

 

Mission two is to do some sort of light activity on at least two days that I don't go the gym.  This can be bodyweight strength training at home, stretching/yoga, going for a walk, etc.

 

Mission three is to eat mindfully.  To make sure that I only eat because I am hungry, and I stop as soon as I feel the first full signal, even if that next forkful is already on its way to my mouth.  I want to query myself about each bite to make sure that I really want it, so that I don't clear my plate just to be a completionist.  I want to set my fork down as I chew each bite so that taking another bite requires that conscious effort to pick up the fork again.  I know that this works well for me to lose weight but I had fallen off the wagon and started eating for comfort, so I want to return to this strategy that worked well for me before.

 

I'm not choosing a life quest this time, I want to stay really focused on my main quest.

 

And the chant goes on...

 

[Incantor]

Day one!  Had an appointment with my personal trainer.  We did legs.  I'm gonna be sore tomorrow, I can tell!  I don't understand why it is so hard for me to motivate myself to exercise when I always feel so good afterwards.  That makes no sense to me.  I feel like I ought to go get hypnotized.  "You LIKE to exercise, Incantor!  You REALLY REALLY DO!"

 

I already had an appointment for Tuesday of next week and I went ahead and signed up for another appointment the next day, too.  So I'll have back to back sessions that week.  I'm going to check the app on my phone several times a day to see if she has any cancellations so that I can pick up a 2nd appointment this week as well if possible.  Working with her really helps to motivate me and I'd like to jump start this challenge with some extra appointments if I can.

[rogaecia]

" I don't understand why it is so hard for me to motivate myself to exercise when I always feel so good afterwards. That makes no sense to me." If you ever find out the answer, please share it! I have wondered that myself too often.

I'm glad you are back to the challenges.

What is it about this time of the year that causes you to feel depressed?

My worst time is fall+winter. I am hoping that through these challenges I gain enough activity thirst so I can make it through that upcoming series of seasons.

Best of luck, incantor!

[Incantor]

What is it about this time of the year that causes you to feel depressed?

 

Well, that's the weird part.  I really don't know.  In fact it was many years before I even became convinced that it was a seasonal thing.  A few years ago I read that there is something called "reverse SAD" which effects some people in areas with very hot & humid summers but is poorly understood and was only recognized relatively recently.  Clearly the mechanism is not the same since SAD seems to be caused by a lack of light in the winter at high latitudes.  I get plenty of light, lol.  And I can't really put my finger on it.  I mean, I find heat and high humidity to be extremely uncomfortable, but I am certainly not alone in that, and A/C fixes my immediate discomfort yet I still feel so lethargic and unmotivated.  I tend to ignore housework, bills (hooray for autopay, seriously), even my beloved plants at this time of year.  I let a bonsai I'd had for like 15 years die last summer because I just could not muster the energy to go out and water it, and I still feel like crying every time I think of that.  It's one of those things where when I am experiencing it I often don't even realize it, but when the season finally breaks I feel so much better and look back and realize that I felt like crap for months.  I think I slide into it really slowly and just don't notice the onset.  I'm trying to talk myself into focusing on the positive this year and hopefully not let it get such a grip on me.  On the one hand this has been easier this year than other years because we have had so much rain that it keeps the temperature down to something a little shy of sweltering even though the humidity is still pretty crazy.  On the other hand it has really interfered with my challenge goals because I haven't been able to do stuff in the morning because it has started raining really early instead of sticking to the afternoons.  Two months of daily rain is annoying me.  I have the cutest sandals I got for that anniversary trip that I haven't got to wear but once since then!  Grr.

 

On the plus side I am excited because I think I have finally found a foundation that looks good throughout the day on me!  Yay!  I have mild rosacea and that red face thing is kind of depressing.  I'm super pale and hard to match, plus color matching foundations screw me on the backside because they try to match the redness which I am trying to cover.  I finally came to the realization that I am not combination oily any more, I am combination dry.  And really mostly dry!  I needed a different foundation.  I tried Lancome's new Teint Visionnaire because Teint Miracle is one of the few that ever had a formula light enough for me, and I was astounded at how good my skin looked at the end of the day.  It even looked good after my workout!  I mean, not perfect like it was this morning, but still good enough that I wasn't embarrassed.  So that is huge for me!  Do me a favor and cross your fingers for me that this won't break me out.  

[sicil]

That's a unique predictiment, 'reverse SAD' but I guess it depends on how humid your summers are. I can handle dry and hot, but no humidity. Everybody is different!

 

It's a great idea to mix and match gym days and light activity. I know I couldn't (and shouldn't) do my treadmill intervals every day. Easy way to get injured.

[Doodle]

 I don't understand why it is so hard for me to motivate myself to exercise when I always feel so good afterwards.  That makes no sense to me.

 

Incantor I totally get how you feel Sometimes its so hard to get motivated. Even if The motto is Just do it. Still is tough. Looking forward to hearing your challenge!

[Incantor]

Day two!  I did pretty good with the mindful eating.  I did have to keep reminding myself to put that fork down, but I did!  I was surprised at how little I ate before I felt that full signal.  I thought that I'd probably be ravenous by 3pm but I wasn't.  Gotta get some stretching in before the end of the day, I can feel the soreness coming on from my leg day with the PT and I'd like to be able to walk tomorrow!

 

Edit: I did do some stretching last night!

[Incantor]

Day three!  I didn't do quite as well with my mindful eating today.  Kept finding myself with that next bite already queued up while I was still chewing the previous one.  Realizing that I wasn't even tasting it!  Putting fork/spoon down and before I knew it, it's happening all over again!  Argh.  Gotta keep working on this.

 

Going to try to get some stretching in tonight and I need to wash some clothes for tomorrow's gym visit so they have time to dry.  I love Dri-fit but I hate that they are supposed to air-dry.  It's crazy humid here!  They might not be dry by tomorrow morning!  In which case I'd have to go on Friday or the weekend which I am not terribly keen to do.

 

I have now managed to book two appointments per week for next week and the week after, on back-to-back days both times.  That will really help with staying on track for mission one since I show up for the gym most reliably if I an appointment with my PT.  She makes it fun, and I don't want to disappoint her.

 

I can't believe tomorrow is August.  August and September is when the weather is the worst and I feel crappiest.  I almost hope it doesn't stop raining even though I am so sick of rain, because it does make the heat a little more tolerable.  With a little luck it will start to cool off around Halloween, and that seems a long ways away right now.

[Incantor]

Day four!  Did not make it to the gym today, crazy day at work.  Did get some stretching in last night though.

 

I did really good with mindful eating today.  I made sure to slowly enjoy every bite.  Weird thing, that seems to make me satiated for far longer after the meal, even though I am eating way less because I get full sooner.  I guess there is something to be said for getting more in tune with yourself.

[Incantor]

hmm double post

 

Oh by the way the new foundation is working out really good!  I feel a lot less self-conscious when the redness is not so obvious.

[Incantor]

Last night did some stretching and light calisthenics.  Did great with mindful eating today.  I have noticed a little ease in my waistband, yay!  Now just have to keep it up on the eating front and get myself off to the gym tomorrow and/or Sunday and I'll have met all my goals for the week.

[sicil]

Glad you found a foundation that works for you! Hope it doesn't cause breakouts in the summer heat... How's the PT sessions going?

[Incantor]

So far no breakouts!  And my skin is pretty sensitive so if it was going to it would have already happened.  So yay!  You would not believe how many different foundations I have tried with no success.  Should be even better once the evil temps are passed.  This morning I woke up, watching the news before work, its like 6:30 and the sun hasn't come up yet and the weather guy is crowing about how it didn't even dip below 82ºF last night and the dewpoint at 78.  Which means the air felt so hot and heavy it seemed like I had to swim down to my car, drinking my air.  Yuk.

 

I have 2 appointments with my PT scheduled this week, for tomorrow and the next day.  Two days in a row, rawr!  Next week same thing except I think it is Monday/Tuesday.  Anyways I finally managed to get my gym clothes washed yesterday, they should be dry for tomorrow morning.  Now I just have to remember to stop at the dry-cleaner tomorrow on the way to work.  I dropped off my slacks for same day service on Saturday but when I went to pick them up they weren't ready!  Grrr... and this evening I totally forgot until I was way past the cleaners.  No way was I turning around.  I am just going to wear my backup pair that I wore today again tomorrow.  Hopefully no one will notice!

 

Oh let's see, reports for the days I didn't post:

 

Days 6 & 7 - never did get my butt to the gym for my second session of the first week, boo.  Did stick with my mindful eating though, and I did stretching one day and light calisthenics the next.

 

Day 8 - today!  No gym visit today.  Mindful eating was good.  Going to slack off tonight with my alternate activity and go to bed early.

[sicil]

Oh my god. That sounds terrible indeed. I don't blame you for feeling depressed at this time of year. Hopefully your gym is nice and AC'd... a good positive association?

[Incantor]

Day 9!  So I got to work this morning and then remembered I was supposed to stop at the cleaners.  Meh.  I go through my day.  Did good on the mindful eating, it's becoming a habit.  Tell myself that I will have to leave early so that I can go by the cleaners before my PT appointment.  Go into my phone and tell it to remind me 2 hrs before the appointment so I can figure out my plan.  My appointment was at 5:30.  I look down, it is 4:30.  Phone never notified me.  Grrr.  I go to check the calendar entry to see what is wrong with it (nothing I could see, notification was set up but never triggered) and I see that my appointment is actually at 5 even!  It's already 4:30!  The gym is on the other side of the airport!!!  It's pouring rain!  I look outside.  Near the door, rain is sheeting diagonally left to right.  Back where my car is, it's sheeting right to left.  Weird lines of heavier rain are moving through and seem to change direction somewhere between me and my car.  I should wait for it to let up.  But I have to go!  Can't even think about the stupid cleaners.  I make it to the car without getting smited, but soaked.  Drive to my appointment.  Get a call from my trainer about how traffic is crazy because of the storm but she promises she will be there and we can make up time at the end if needed.  I make it.  I get dressed out and walk onto the gym floor at exactly 5:00 and so does my trainer.  Whew.

 

So I have the session and during it I mentioned that I also have an appointment for tomorrow.  She tells me she meant to ask me about that because she didn't mean to open her schedule for appointments at that time and she can't make it, has to cancel me.  No other appointments open this week.  Inside my head, Jack Skellington is crying "why does nothing ever work out like it should???"

 

She tells me she may open up some time on Thursday and if she can she'll snag my preferred time and send me a text.  I'm going to try to pretend that I did not hear any of this and just go tomorrow anyway.  Finally remembered to go to the cleaners on the way home.  I hate going into businesses all sweaty from the gym, but whatareyagonnado?

[sicil]

Hmmm. Sounds like your PT is a little flakey, lol! Hope she is able to squeeze you in and keep you motivated!

[Incantor]

Naw, she's really not.  She just accidentally highlighted an extra slot when she was opening her schedule to the internet app for reservations.

[Incantor]

Yesterday was day 10.  Didn't make it to the gym.  Which turns out to be a good thing since I left my packed gym bag at home, DOH!  I did do some BW squats at home, and some yoga.  Mindful eating was sort of difficult as I had tacos de carne asada at lunch and you really can't put that down between bites!  I did make sure to eat it slowly and stop when full, though.

 

Today is day 11.  I got an appointment with my PT.  I was putting off leaving until the last minute trying to get something done for my boss.  It starts pouring rain I swear like two minutes before I was planning on leaving.  A large tree branch falls on my co-worker's car.  I leave anyway.  My windows are completely fogged over on the inside to the extent that I have to open my windows in the pouring rain just to get the temps to equalize enough for my AC to take over.  Make it to the gym right at my appointment time but still had to dress out which took me 10 minutes.  So my session was shortened today.  But at least I did go to the gym twice this week!  So hopefully I am working up some momentum here.  Also did good with the mindful eating today.

[Incantor]

Let's see, I gotta catch up on my log.

 

Day 12 was Friday.  Mindful eating was a little more difficult at lunch due to type of food (grilled grouper sandwich with delicious juicy red summer tomatoes) not being conducive to putting it down between bites.  I should have cut the sandwich in half before I started eating it, that would have helped.  Did some stretching.

 

Day 13 was yesterday.  I was all set to take myself out to lunch and probably make some not so great choices, but then I remembered the recent activity on Rogacia's thread and decided that instead I would go to the grocery and pick up some real food!  Which I did!  Didn't do anything physical other than lugging my groceries up the stairs to the third floor in a 110º heat index, after that I was pretty much cooked for the day.

[sicil]

Awesome choice on the groceries! What fanciful things did you cook up all day?

[rogaecia]

Hello Incantor! Dropping by to see how you are doing. I hope everything is going well and you're feeling great. Keep us updated on all of the fun you are having

<3

[Incantor]

Thanks for checking guys, sorry I have been slacking on the updates!

 

The last couple weeks I have been managing to get my sessions in with my P.T.  I've been so-so on the mindful eating but haven't had any really bad incidents.  The stretching and/or mini workouts on my off-days I have been most successful with.  I honestly am not sure if I will participate in the next challenge, I just feel like I am swimming in molasses and not getting anywhere.  I still have a couple months of insane humidity to look forward to, hopefully after that I'll be in a more buck-kicking mood.  ("These bars will not hold my wrath. Minsc will be free! Butts shall be liberally kicked in good measure.")

[sicil]

Thanks for checking guys, sorry I have been slacking on the updates!

 

The last couple weeks I have been managing to get my sessions in with my P.T.  I've been so-so on the mindful eating but haven't had any really bad incidents.  The stretching and/or mini workouts on my off-days I have been most successful with.  I honestly am not sure if I will participate in the next challenge, I just feel like I am swimming in molasses and not getting anywhere.  I still have a couple months of insane humidity to look forward to, hopefully after that I'll be in a more buck-kicking mood.  ("These bars will not hold my wrath. Minsc will be free! Butts shall be liberally kicked in good measure.")

Baldur's Gate? I LOVE BG! You totally score big time...

Keep on participating. I felt the same after last challenge. The change is incremental, and sometimes you may feel bad because you didn't quite accomplish the goals you set out. What would help you get through these months of humidity? Perhaps think about your goals for the next time and adjust them accordingly?

Either way, you're not giving up! Pull through like Minsc!

[Incantor]

Haha, I loved Baldur's Gate.  Especially Minsc and his space hamster.  Go for the eyes, Boo!  GO FOR THE EYES!!!  LOL

 

I didn't mean I am giving up completely, I just meant I might sit out the next challenge.  I have already adjusted my goals down about as low as I can stand and still not meeting them.  But going once a week is much better than no times a week.  So I guess I'll give myself a C, which normal people would not consider failure, but I kinda do.  I know I shouldn't.  Bad perfectionist!  Bad!

 

As for what would help me get through this time of year, the only thing that helps is air conditioning.  Turned down REALLY low, so when I walk in the door it's like walking into one of those giant beer cooler rooms at the Circle K.  Ahhh.  But seriously, nothing really helps except the knowledge that it can't last forever and I'm past the halfway mark now.  Usually it starts to cool off around Halloween.  Hopefully this year it will come sooner.

[Incantor]

Mission one is to go the gym at least twice a week.  No specific goals there, I just want to go and do whatever I feel like that day.  Cardio, strength training, swimming, whatever.

 

Mission two is to do some sort of light activity on at least two days that I don't go the gym.  This can be bodyweight strength training at home, stretching/yoga, going for a walk, etc.

 

Mission three is to eat mindfully

 

I'm not choosing a life quest this time, I want to stay really focused on my main quest.

 

And the chant goes on...

 

Alright, mission one results - Iirc, I made it twice a week only one of the weeks.  I did make it once a week reliably until the last week.  Grade = C

 

Mission two - this was a little easier.  I definitely slowed down towards the last week but overall not too bad.  Grade = B-

 

Mission three - also hit or miss here, somedays its easier to focus on than others.  Grade = C

 

I'm laughing that I avoided a life quest, seems like it probably would have been better to have that instead of one of the physical goals when I feel weakest.  Gotta remember that next year.  The last couple days have felt less oppressive, so I'm past the worst of it now.

 

 

Pull through like Minsc!

 

 

 

Also I have decided that sicil is right, can't give up now.  Will be back for the next challenge.