TheHalfie's Paleo-esque, Usually Lazy Meals.

[TheHalfie]

Tonight's Recipe: Chicken Stirfry

 

Cut boneless skinless chicken thighs into strips. 

Fry chopped up onion, then garlic in some oil in a pan on medium heat. 

Add chicken. 

Fry until edges start browning. 

Mix in frozen veg straight from the bag with sauce of your choice (i.e. teriyaki)

Pop on a lid. Check in about 3-5 minutes. 

When veggies are heated through and coated in saucy deliciousness, eat. 

 

(Leave the lid off a few more minutes if its too watery)

 

 

[TheHalfie]

Tonight's lazy din din... Red Curry Coconut Chicken with Cauliflower Rice!

 

You need: 

- 1tbsp red curry paste (check the "Asian Aisle")

- 1 can of coconut milk (I had opened it previously for coffee, so it was 3/4 a can, but it doesnt matter really. 

- 4 chicken breasts (or thighs, or wings, whatever)

- 4 cloves garlic, cut up

- fat of some kind. 

- Cauliflower

- salt

 

The Chicken:

- Salt the chicken 

- Heat the fat (I used chicken fat from the skins I took off the breasts) over medium heat in the bottom of a heavy pot or pan.

- Sear the chicken in the pan until the cooked side is nice and golden Don't worry if it sticks to the bottom. 

- Once theres a good sear, chuck in the coconut milk and 3 garlic cloves.

- scrape up the stuck bits on the bottom, lower the heat to med-low and put a lid on. 

- Open the lid in about 6 minutes and add the tbsp of red curry paste. Mix it around in there.

- Put the lid on for about 15 minutes. 

- The chicken is done when the breast is springy rather than smushy when you poke it. Alternatively, you could not flirt with Ecoli like I do and take the temp of the centre of the breast. 155-160 is good. 

- take out the chicken. 

 

*(If you're a paleo rebel, like me, you can thicken the sauce by mixing 1 tsp of corn(GASP!)starch to about 2 tbsp COLD water. Mix it smooth, then dump it into the sauce and mix that around. It'll thicken nicely. Let it bubble a minute or 2 so it doesn't taste starchy.)

 

The Cauliflower Rice:

- Pulse chunks of cauliflower in a food processor until it looks like cous cous. Alternatively, spend 1000 hours chopping cauliflower until it's teensy. 

- Heat fat in a pan over medium-low. Add the garlic and cook it for about 1 minute.

- Add the teensy cauliflower. Mix it up. Throw salt in it. 

- Cover with a lid. Stir and taste every 5 or so minutes. When its tender and tasty, you're golden 

 

That's it! Put them both on a plate and et em up. 

[TheHalfie]

Figs on a Cloud (My favourite sweet treat in the morning... or any time of day when figs are in season)

 

You need:

- Fresh Figs (they should be available now and if you've never tried them, they are a WORLD apart from the dried, shrivelled ones you see in bulk bins or Fig Newton Cookies)

- Whipping cream (still liquid)

- a drizzle of honey (probably a teaspoon total)

- a bowl and whisk (or beaters) OR a mason jar

 

Your mission: 

- Wash and dry figs. Cut off stems. Split lengthwise. 

- pour 1/3ish cup of whipping cream in the bottom of a mixing bowl and whisk (or beat on low) like a mothertrucker. It'll slowly start to thicken, and when it gets to the right consistency STOP or it will turn into butter. Alternatively, put the cream in a mason jar and shake. It will go from liquid to whip cream to butter with added shaking, so check when you sense it thickening. 

- Plop a big spoonful in the bottom of a bowl, embed some of the pretty figs in the top, and drizzle a teensy bit of honey over the whole thing. 

- Devour greedily. 

[wideeyed]

 

*(If you're a paleo rebel, like me, you can thicken the sauce by mixing 1 tsp of corn(GASP!)starch to about 2 tbsp COLD water. Mix it smooth, then dump it into the sauce and mix that around. It'll thicken nicely. Let it bubble a minute or 2 so it doesn't taste starchy.

Or you can be a good Paleo girl and use arrowroot powder instead

Sounds really good. I wish the kids would eat curries.

[TheHalfie]

Or you can be a good Paleo girl and use arrowroot powder instead

Sounds really good. I wish the kids would eat curries.

ooOOoo neato I've never tried arrowroot powder. Does it work the same way?

[rubbish_tiger]

All of these recipes are fanta-mazing and leave you feeling sated, but not lethargic. My lady-love is a badass clean eats cook.

[wideeyed]

ooOOoo neato I've never tried arrowroot powder. Does it work the same way?

Yes, use it just like cornstarch. 

[Eilyd]

Will buy figs and try. OMG.

[rubbish_tiger]

You definitely should, they are AMAZING

[TheHalfie]

Will buy figs and try. OMG.

Please do. It's delicious. I'm eating it again right now and I'm sad to see the figs go...

 

 

You definitely should, they are AMAZING

<3 My number 1 food fan!

 

 

Tonight, rubbish_tiger and I decided to make a GIGANTIC batch of what we like to call Sauce. We call it that because back before paleo, this is what we topped our spaghetti with. When we cut out pasta, we didn't wanna cut out this, so now we eat it sort of like a cross between hamburger soup and chili. It freezes and fridges really really well, and only gets 1 pot dirty. Score!

 

Sauce

You need:

- 1 package of ground meat (pork, lean beef, turkey, whatever)

- 1 can of tomatoes (I like whole, mostly for the fun of mashing them up in the pan)

- 1 small? or medium? onion (who decides onion sizes??)

- garlic to taste (I use at least 4 cloves regardless of the size of the dish because I love garlic)

- salt and pepper 

- Italian Seasoning mix or dried basil and dried oregano. 

- hot sauce or cayenne pepper if you like some kick. 

- some oil

- a pot

 

Your mission:

- heat oil over medium in the bottom of the pan. Use enough to thinly coat the bottom (1 tbsp? 2? You might be able to tell I don't measure a lot)

- dice your onion and dump that in. Stir and cook for 3 minutes or so. 

- In the meantime, peel and chop up your garlic. Dump it in when it's chopped up. 

- once the garlic and onion make your kitchen smell amazing, add the package of ground beef and break it up with your spatula while it browns. 

- Once the beef is thoroughly brown and broken into little pieces, add some of the juice from the tomato can. Mix it up and let some of that moisture cook off.

- add the herbs

- add the remaining tomatoes. Stir. 

- If its too watery, either let some of that water cook off or use the cornstarch trick from the Coconut Curry Chicken recipe above (or use arrowroot, like Wideyeed said. That's what the truly paleo folks do. I haven't tried it yet though, so I can't really endorse it fully.)

- taste and add more salt if it needs it. 

 

Tada! Sauce. It isn't pretty, but it's tasty and filling and cheap. Top it with parmesan cheese and you're golden. It's also a GREAT leftover-and-languishing-veggie-user-upper. Shredded chicken from last night? In you go! Droopy looking celery? Throw it in! Mushrooms looking a little shrivelly? Add them too! It's good stuff. Promise.  

[Polaris]

I just made Sauce for my post-workout protein meal. It turned out delicious! I threw in some parsley and lots of chili powder, as I wanted to somewhat drown out the taste of tomatoes which I've, weirdly, never liked.

 

I'm gonna have to try your other recipes too, I need some variety, I've been eating ground beef almost every day.

[TheHalfie]

I just made Sauce for my post-workout protein meal. It turned out delicious! I threw in some parsley and lots of chili powder, as I wanted to somewhat drown out the taste of tomatoes which I've, weirdly, never liked.

 

I'm gonna have to try your other recipes too, I need some variety, I've been eating ground beef almost every day.

Oooh I'm so glad you liked it! I find it really gratifying that somewhere outthere in the nerdiverse someone has eaten a new meal because I overcame my laziness and posted it. And not liking tomatoes isn't too weird. rubbish_tiger doesn't like cheese. In some circles I've heard that means you're a robot. 

[Polaris]

By the way, I love that your recipes have such clear instructions and are easy to follow! I'm a really newbie cook compared to how long I've lived by myself and had to feed myself, and I can't deal with the recipes that practically just list the ingredients and then go "alright, now cook 'em". I don't know how! I need the instructions for how long and in which order to cook the stuff, I don't have the magical cooking sense that some people apparently possess.

 

You should do a cook book or something. "Paleo Meals For Newbies (Like Polaris Who Can Almost Burn Water)"?

[FrankieNZ]

I second that, awesome instructions for a struggling cook!

[TheHalfie]

By the way, I love that your recipes have such clear instructions and are easy to follow! I'm a really newbie cook compared to how long I've lived by myself and had to feed myself, and I can't deal with the recipes that practically just list the ingredients and then go "alright, now cook 'em". I don't know how! I need the instructions for how long and in which order to cook the stuff, I don't have the magical cooking sense that some people apparently possess.

 

You should do a cook book or something. "Paleo Meals For Newbies (Like Polaris Who Can Almost Burn Water)"?

I second that, awesome instructions for a struggling cook!

Perfect! That's exactly what I'm going for: easy to follow, lazy, and assuming nothing whatsoever in terms of anyone's ability to cook. You gotta start somewhere!

 

Here's what I made for breakfast/post-run meal:

 

Lazy Veggie Omelette

(This is one of my favourite ways to eat kale, sad looking broccoli, or just about any other veggie you can think of. Also, I can't flip an omelette to save my skin, so here's what I do instead...)

 

You need: 

- 3 eggs

- 1/2 onion, chopped

-.the obligatory chopped garlic (a couple cloves is usually good for normal people...)

- veggies, chopped up (I used kale this morning but you can use whatever)

- some fat (I like butter for eggs)

- seasoning (you can use straight salt and pepper, seasoning salt... I used Montreal Steak Spice this morning)

- a pan (preferably non stick)

 

Your mission:

- melt the fat in the pan over low to medium heat. If you're using butter, it's ready when the frothing starts to go down. 

- add the onion and the garlic, mix around and cook until the onion is translucent. A little bit of salt here helps it cook faster by leaching the water out. 

- Add your veggies. The general rule of thumb is harder veggies go a couple minutes in before softer ones (i.e. carrot chunks and broccoli before peppers and mushrooms) but you can get around this by cutting your hard veggies into smaller pieces. 

- Cook until your hard veggies are tender to the tooth, but not mushy. Spread them evenly in the pan. 

- Crack your eggs right into the pan, on top of the veggies. Break the yolks and tilt the pan around to make sure egg gets into all the cracks and crevices around the veg. 

- Add some seasoning of your choice

- Turn off the heat and put a lid on the whole thing. Leave the lid on for a couple minutes, no peeking (although a glass lid does wonders for the curiosity itch). It doesn't matter if the lid isn't a perfect fit for the pan, the point is you're just trying to trap steam in there. 

- The heat from the pan should cook the bottom of the eggs, while the steam from the food cooks the top. 

 

-. Note, if you don't trust yourself not to burn the eggs while you leave the lid on, you can also wait a minute of two for the bottom of the eggs to set up, then just flip sections of it over with your flipper. It won't be as pretty, but it will taste the same and you'll be able to see how "well done" the bottom is. 

 

When it's done to your liking, chow down. I like to crumble feta or some other kind of cheese on top while its still hot. Mmmm melty cheese

[Malfurion]

Perfect! That's exactly what I'm going for: easy to follow, lazy, and assuming nothing whatsoever in terms of anyone's ability to cook. You gotta start somewhere!

 

Here's what I made for breakfast/post-run meal:

 

Lazy Veggie Omelette

(This is one of my favourite ways to eat kale, sad looking broccoli, or just about any other veggie you can think of. Also, I can't flip an omelette to save my skin, so here's what I do instead...)

 

You need: 

- 3 eggs

- 1/2 onion, chopped

-.the obligatory chopped garlic (a couple cloves is usually good for normal people...)

- veggies, chopped up (I used kale this morning but you can use whatever)

- some fat (I like butter for eggs)

- seasoning (you can use straight salt and pepper, seasoning salt... I used Montreal Steak Spice this morning)

- a pan (preferably non stick)

 

Your mission:

- melt the fat in the pan over low to medium heat. If you're using butter, it's ready when the frothing starts to go down. 

- add the onion and the garlic, mix around and cook until the onion is translucent. A little bit of salt here helps it cook faster by leaching the water out. 

- Add your veggies. The general rule of thumb is harder veggies go a couple minutes in before softer ones (i.e. carrot chunks and broccoli before peppers and mushrooms) but you can get around this by cutting your hard veggies into smaller pieces. 

- Cook until your hard veggies are tender to the tooth, but not mushy. Spread them evenly in the pan. 

- Crack your eggs right into the pan, on top of the veggies. Break the yolks and tilt the pan around to make sure egg gets into all the cracks and crevices around the veg. 

- Add some seasoning of your choice

- Turn off the heat and put a lid on the whole thing. Leave the lid on for a couple minutes, no peeking (although a glass lid does wonders for the curiosity itch). It doesn't matter if the lid isn't a perfect fit for the pan, the point is you're just trying to trap steam in there. 

- The heat from the pan should cook the bottom of the eggs, while the steam from the food cooks the top. 

 

-. Note, if you don't trust yourself not to burn the eggs while you leave the lid on, you can also wait a minute of two for the bottom of the eggs to set up, then just flip sections of it over with your flipper. It won't be as pretty, but it will taste the same and you'll be able to see how "well done" the bottom is. 

 

When it's done to your liking, chow down. I like to crumble feta or some other kind of cheese on top while its still hot. Mmmm melty cheese

Thank's for inviting for dinner !!!I will be on time

Miam !

[TheHalfie]

Thank's for inviting for dinner !!!I will be on time

Miam !

 

Come while it's hot! rubbish and I will set an extra place for you

[WonderNatarella]

Amazing idea! I love the simplicity of lazy food!

I love cooking but I have a really busy RL so THANKS for this! 

[TheHalfie]

Amazing idea! I love the simplicity of lazy food!

I love cooking but I have a really busy RL so THANKS for this! 

You are so welcome! I'm glad you enjoy it and get some use from it  

[TheHalfie]

Herby, Delicious Baked Salmon! (courtesy of Rubbish_tiger)
 

So it was rubbish's turn to cook last night, and neither of us are fans of foods that take too long to make. This Salmon came out moist and delicious in about 20 minutes... 22 if you include prepping the fish!

 

You need: 

- 1 wild salmon, headless, scaleless and gutted (this is usually how they come at the store)

- salt

- lemon pepper/herb seasoning

- 1tbsp-ish of olive (or other) oil

- baking sheet (with parchment paper is easier but you can use the bare sheet or tinfoil too)

- optional: fresh dill. We like it, but it's not too necessary. 

 

Your mission: 

- set the oven to 400 degrees

- lube up your fish with the oil, inside and out

- salt the whole shebang evenly and then give it another once over with the lemon pepper. Don't forget the inside! (Use less or no salt if the lemon pepper has salt in it already)

- if you're using fresh dill, just stuff it inside the fish. 

- put the fish in the oven and bake for 15-20 minutes.

 

The internal temperature at the thickest part of the flesh should be around 133 when you remove the fish (135-145 is done, and the fish will continue to heat up by a few degrees even after you remove it from the oven). If you don't have a thermometer, press a fork into the thickest part of the meat and if it looks opaque and flakes apart, as opposed to looking like sashimi, you're good. 

 

And that's it! Watch out for bones 1 medium sized salmon left rubbish and I with enough for another meal each afterwards, so you should get some decent left-over-age from this recipe. We served it with steamed asparagus and artichoke... hmm... perhaps the next recipe.

[bluekiwi1]

Ooooo sounds yummy!  *Kiwi takes notes*  Thanks for sharing!   Rawr!

[TheHalfie]

Better-Than-Your-Pub's Mussels

This is probably one of the most intimidating-sounding foods I make, and it really isn't all that hard at all. To make matters more fun, I'm also going to post a picture of the finished product AND price it out for you

(Price is at the bottom!)

 

You need:

- 1 package of live mussels (sustainable and available at most stores. You just keep them in the fridge in their original packaging... don't submerge them until you're ready to cook them and don't buy them unless you're gonna eat them that night) 

- *1/2 cup chicken stock (I use "Better Than Bouillon" and water because I'm lazy)

- *1/4 cup white wine 

- *1/4 cup heavy cream

- 1 head of garlic, peeled and roughly chopped 

- 1 small onion, peeled and chopped

- some oil or butter

- a Big Pot

- optional: a silver space-ship strainer thingy. 

- optional: 1 zucchini, cut into matchsticks (this guy isn't necessary, he was just languishing in our fridge and needed to be used up. It was good!)

 

*I should point out that I almost never measure anything, so these are just approximations. If you don't use alcohol in your cooking or don't want as much cream or whatever, just tailor it to what you like. 

 

To Prep the Mussels:

- Make sure your sink is clean

- Plug your sink

- Dump your mussels into the sink

- Run cold water over them until there's about an inch of water over all the mussels. You need enough water so that any grit can fall to the bottom. 

- Have a big bowl nearby. One by one, grab a mussel, feel it and look at it. Pull off the stringy "beards" that lots of them will have (Fun fact, these start out liquid and set up in the water into strings as strong as steel wire. Scientists still don't get how!... obviously DO NOT PUT THEM IN YOUR GARBAGE DISPOSAL. It will cause you great headache). Discard any mussels that remain open after being tossed into the sink, as well as any that smell strongly fishy or have major cracks. Plunk the tightly closed ones into your big bowl and give them all one more quick rinse off.

 

To Cook the Mussels:

- Grab a Big Pot. We use a stock pot.

- On medium heat, fry your garlic and onion in the oil in the big pot. Add the zucchini too if you're using it.  

- When the garlic and onion seem softened, pour in your chicken stock, wine, and cream. Heavy cream doesn't really curdle, but if you're using something lighter, add it in at the end of cooking. 

- Simmer a minute or so, then taste. Add salt and pepper if you think it could use it, but don't make the liquid too salty because the mussels are salty in themselves and will give up their liquids. 

- Add the silver spaceship steamer thingy right on top of the liquids (or don't, if you don't have one. It's not a big deal) and dump the mussels right onto it or the liquid. Pop a lid on tight.

- Check the mussels after about 5 minutes. Lots of them will be open. Take a big spoon or tongs and jostle them around. If some are still closed, on goes the lid for another 2-3 minutes.

- After about 8 minutes max, your mussels should all be happy and open. Chuck any that didn't open after 8 minutes of scalding steam... these mutants can't be trusted. Muahahaha.

 

To Serve:

- Rinse out your big bowl.

- Use tongs or a big scoop to evacuate all those mussels to the big bowl.

- Remove the space ship

- CAREFULLY dump the liquid and garlicky delicious bits over the mussels. (If the liquid looked too thin you can thicken it up with the cornstarch+water trick before doing this.)

- Om, then Nom, then Nom some more.

- Drink left over broth like yummy, creamy, chowdery soup.  

 

 

.... But How Much Did It Cost?

- Mussels, $13.00 for a two pack, used 1 pack = $6.50 

- Better Than Bouillon chicken stock, $9.00/16 oz jar, used 2 tsp = ~$0.50

- Heavy Cream, $4.00 carton, used 1/4 cup = ~$0.75

- White Wine, $12.00 bottle, used 1/4 cup= ~$2.25

- Garlic Bulb, 50 pack costs $2.00= pennies

- Onion (like the garlic...) = pennies

- Zucchini = $1.00

- Oil= pennies

 

Grand Total= $8.20 (generously assuming all the pennies came together to make a dollar)

COST PER SERVING= $4.10 

(and a cooking/prep time of under 30 minutes!)

[DirtyLittleSecrets]

Those mussels sound so good! I don't think I have live mussels available here but I might just make them with one of the frozen packets we have at the grocery. Thanks for being such an inspiration and all the delicious recipes

[TheHalfie]

Those mussels sound so good! I don't think I have live mussels available here but I might just make them with one of the frozen packets we have at the grocery. Thanks for being such an inspiration and all the delicious recipes

Hey thanks for reading! I love knowing that people actually like the recipes I post, haha. Let me know how frozen mussels work, I've never tried (being the daughter of a fisherman and all.... haha)

[rita lin]

These are brilliant! Some of them might get a little expensive, when it's just me and I'm a very poor student, but once I'm back at uni I'll definitely be trying some of these!!