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AshPS

AshPS Fixing What Was Broken

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Congrats on the 8 lbs! I'm totally with you on the picture-posting. I've been taking selfies (mostly because the girl isn't up when I'm done with my workout) and don't really see a difference in them, so I've stopped looking at them regularly. I find the numbers to be much more motivating - and it sounds like you're killing it in that department!

 

I like your meta-commentary about your fear with each post. It makes each post that much more inspirational. The Brigade should be (and is!) proud to call you a member!

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Aww now you're going to make me blush! Your thread is the blushing thread methinks. :)

 

LOL, maybe I should change the title, you think? :playful:

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Update:

 

Food:

 

Chocolate protein shake

 

Small Handful Walnuts

 

1/2 a sugar free energy drink

 

Dinner was a sort of pizza type casserole with pepperoni, mushrooms, olives, pasta, spaghetti sauce & cheese sprinkled on- I picked out the pepperoni for me and left the cheese off. (portion controlled)

Veg.

 

 

Exercise Update:

 

I forgot to mention above that for this week I will be adding in some cardio type movement on my rest days. This will either be a walk in the mornings while the kiddos sleep, or I will sneak into the livingroom, put my music on and indulge in some wild dancing. That idea really appeals to me as I can make a complete fool of myself without anyone knowing.  :playful: 

That will start tomorrow. :redface:

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AshPS - I had tears in my eyes reading some of your posts. Your honesty has made me think about confronting some of my own 'baggage'. thank you for sharing.

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Wild dancing without music loud enough to wake the dead - who'da thunk that that was possible? :)

 

Do you make your protein shakes, or are they pre-mixed? I've been thinking about protein shakes lately, but am having a little trouble making up my mind on them.

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AshPS - I had tears in my eyes reading some of your posts. Your honesty has made me think about confronting some of my own 'baggage'. thank you for sharing.

 

Thank you! If it helps someone through their challenge then it is worth it. :peaceful:

Glad you came by!

 

Wild dancing without music loud enough to wake the dead - who'da thunk that that was possible? :)

 

Do you make your protein shakes, or are they pre-mixed? I've been thinking about protein shakes lately, but am having a little trouble making up my mind on them.

 

Who said 'music loud enough to wake the dead' wasn't involved? I have earphones! :playful:

Hmmm.....that ought to make me look even crazier, oh well. :numbness:

 

I have used pre-mixed, but rarely. Most of the time I mix it myself. Protein powder, water, a banana (if I have them around) and lots and lots of ice. (Because it is hot here lately and if you blend that up with lots of ice it turns out like a thick milkshake, YUM!! :redface:)

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Hey hey hey!! :) Wow, was a busy day around here, and seems like I'm just catching the tail end of it. Hahaha Glad to see you did well with both diet and exercise, Ash! :) And kudos to you for adding in a bit of cardio, too! That's REALLY gonna be fun on your thighs! Hahaha Pain is gain, right?! Keep up the good work! :)

And if wildly dancing is what it takes, then I definitely think you meed to go buck wild! hahaha

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Hey hey hey!! :) Wow, was a busy day around here, and seems like I'm just catching the tail end of it. Hahaha Glad to see you did well with both diet and exercise, Ash! :) And kudos to you for adding in a bit of cardio, too! That's REALLY gonna be fun on your thighs! Hahaha Pain is gain, right?! Keep up the good work! :)

And if wildly dancing is what it takes, then I definitely think you meed to go buck wild! hahaha

 

Buck wild will be ALL the Buck I'll be going, lol. :playful:

 

Glad you're finally here!!!!!! :redface:

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Warning: Read or Don't- You've been warned.

 

 

He's either angry with me or cold shoulders me. No middle ground. I walked in to hear him tell our 4 yr old that he was going to start sleeping on the couch and she and mommy could have the bed. He came to bed after I told him not to do that but stays so far from me you'd think I was sleeping alone.

 

....... the pain is so intense.

 

Demons got their teeth in too deep today.

 

I realize I had made myself too vulnerable lately. Spent the day shoring the walls back into place so I could survive. Smile for the kiddos, show no pain or tears- they don't need a mommy like that. No tears period.

 

I took a 20 min. walk. Not much to report on food. I don't feel like eating.

 

Fear: Don't post this, hide it all away. People don't want to hear it.

 

Me: I'm not doing it for them, I'm doing it for me. I . Made . A. Promise.

 

Posted

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I know it doesn't make the pain any less, but do NOT assume blame/shame/guilt for HIS issues. They belong to him. You are only in control of your own actions and reactions.

Playing off a four year old? Cheap shot.

Be strong. You have a battalion of supporters behind you, though we be unseen.

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I'm sorry your husband is acting like such a tool. It doesn't sound like he deals very constructively with his frustration.

 

But you, you're different. You deal with stress by taking better care of yourself, by leaning on others for support, and by keeping your body healthy. You may not be able to change him, but you can lead by example.

 

We're here for you.  :redface-new:

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Just when you think you're in more pain than you can bear life comes and offers you a balm. My 16 yr old daughter asked if I would help her do the BBWW starting next week. She can't start this week because her wrist is healing from a mild sprain. I guess that means I'm getting something right. Sunlight.

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Urgh, really? He needs an attitude adjustment. I'm not sure what I can say, but know that we're all here for you.

 

My 16 yr old daughter asked if I would help her do the BBWW starting next week.

That's awesome! I hope you and she have a great time doing the BBWW together. It sounds like your good decisions are having a great effect on your children. Stay strong!

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Today's Update:

 

Exercise: 20 min. walk

 

Food:

 

Ate a small handful of blueberries earlier in the day (my stomach started to cramp up and I felt weak and shaky)

 

Same thing started happening this evening so I made myself eat dinner. (small portion)

 

Mix ground turkey, black eyed peas & diced tomatoes over rice

 

Don't want to screw up my workout tomorrow, which will be BBWW #4.

 

And, that wraps today. Water, no gum

 

 

**** To all who came and offered support today it meant the world to me. I am so blessed to have found this community. But, I still feel bad about having made the post in the first place. Promises or no maybe this just isn't the place for things like that.

 

BEST WISHES FOR ALL YOU GUYS WORKING ON YOUR CHALLENGES!!

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I can't make your decision for you, but I think your willingness to open up about these things may be a good thing. We all have vulnerabilities and struggles, and it's good to know there are others out there who have your back. I totally agree, though, I feel so lucky to have found this place. If I'd have known it was so supportive I would have joined the Rebellion a long time ago!

 

As for your health goals - way to go! You stuck to it during a really tough time.

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Is it guilt over venting your problems with other people, and feeling that they're not important enough for others to worry about..? Or is it guilt that you're supposed to keep these things private, not public..? Cause either way, I'd say you're wrong for feeling guilt at all. Its part of what we're here for, emotional support is an IMMENSE help, and about all the assistance we can offer anyway.. Haha

You have absolutely nothing to feel guilt about, Ash! :) Not saying you HAVE to be 100% open and bare it all, just that you shouldn't worry about putting it on here if it helps you feel better to vent it! :) We is all here for you!!

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It would be the guilt over wondering if some things are too private. That's a hard distinction to make. Maybe guilt that people will see me as a whiner or think I'm trying to make the hubs look bad. Sounds like it but that isn't my intent. Guilt is a mighty hard thing to NOT feel sometimes. (huffing loudly)

 

And, from my groups chakras I'm not the only one it gets it's claws in.

 

Thanks again guys!! :peaceful:

 

Looking forward to tomorrow's workout!!!! :peaceful:

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Good luck to you!  Stay positive and be strong.  You can't change how people treat you, but you can damn well change how you react!  So be happy and live a healthy life!  Nothing wrong with venting a bit here and there.  You are just dumping out the negativity and we are here as support!  And definitely no need to feel guilty!

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Good luck to you!  Stay positive and be strong.  You can't change how people treat you, but you can damn well change how you react!  So be happy and live a healthy life!  Nothing wrong with venting a bit here and there.  You are just dumping out the negativity and we are here as support!  And definitely no need to feel guilty!

 

Thank you bluekiwi1, words I needed to hear! :peaceful:

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Just when you think you're in more pain than you can bear life comes and offers you a balm. My 16 yr old daughter asked if I would help her do the BBWW starting next week. She can't start this week because her wrist is healing from a mild sprain. I guess that means I'm getting something right. Sunlight.

 

Too late. I actually HAVE been reading your topic and your posts. After everything, I admire you for your brutality through this and it looks like it's made a difference! As a 16 year old not too long ago, I wouldn't have asked my mom of all people to help me out with weight training. So, you're doing something right. Keep up the positivity! 

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Too late. I actually HAVE been reading your topic and your posts. After everything, I admire you for your brutality through this and it looks like it's made a difference! As a 16 year old not too long ago, I wouldn't have asked my mom of all people to help me out with weight training. So, you're doing something right. Keep up the positivity! 

 

:playful: . But, thank you, you're a mighty sweet girl! :redface:

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WORKOUT...... DONE !!!

 

Getting stronger! Able to go deeper on the squats and lunges, upped the plank an extra 5 seconds to 25, and could have upped the rows on lbs, but am holding off to do the 2 circuits possibly next week. My balance is getting better too.

 

Best Wishes everyone! :peaceful:

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