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True Americans: DrFunkenstine takes inspiration on fitness, motivation, and awesomeness

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Good to be back Rangers.


It's a frequent topic of derision among my male friends that I spend my TV time watching New Girl and Girls. I don't get the hate, because a funny show is a funny show, even if it has the name of my opposite gender in the title. Anyway, I'm going to embrace it: one of my favorite parts of New Girl is the hazily described drinking game (90% drinking with a loose Candyland-like structure) known as "True Americans." While I'll leave the creation of functional rules to the interwebs, I decided to take some much needed inspiration from the name of the game.  


I had a really good time in my first challenge. I learned the ropes and set some fitness and life goals. I succeeded on 3 of my 4 goals, but a "D" grade has been haunting me ever since. Over the course of the six weeks I let my personal life, work life, and apathy weigh me down. Basically these are the same old excuses that led me to Nerd Fitness in the first place. But I'm going to take some inspiration from those who True Americans who didn't fall prey to the same traps that we all do every day. Here are the "rounds" to my game over the next 6 weeks.


Round #1:Benjamin Franklin (+1 CON, +2 WIS, +1 CHA)

Level 15 Renaissance Man

Likes: Liberty, Up By Your Bootstraps, Prostitutes

Dislikes: Eagles




"Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise." -BFranks


The goal here is the one I failed with last time, nailing the morning routine. 


Morning Checklist:

Bed by 11:15

Wake up at 6:30

Morning Work Out/Cold Shower


At Work By 8:30


Five days a week, five items worth one point each. This gives me 25 points a week, 150 over the course of six weeks.


>140 = A

>130 = B

>115 = C 

>105 = D

<105 = F


Round #2: The Thomas Jefferson (+1 STA, +1 CON, +3 DEX)

Level 28 Recluse Genius

Likes: *^!*ing Freedom, Pinks Beds, Equivocation about Slavery

Dislikes: Other People


“You should spend at least two hours a day on bodily exercise. However, if you should decide not to, you will someday spend two hours a day taking care of your disease.â€


Here, I try to get in 2 hours of exercise a day. Considering I have a 20-25 minute bike ride to and from work each day, this is a doable goal. Not every day needs to have time in the gym, but I want to have other activities (hiking, baseball, soccer) which meet these goals. 


A= 36 (of 42 days)

B= 32

C= 28

D= 21

F= < 21


Round #3: John F. Kennedy (+3 STR)

Level 34 Marilyn Monroe-r

Likes:Progressive Thought, Accents, Dynasties




"Physical fitness is not only one of the most important keys to a healthy body, it is the basis of dynamic and creative intellectual activity."


Here is my attempt to get stronger. I want to reach goals of:


Biceps: Increase from 13 inch to 14 inch

Belly Measurement: 35 inch to 33 inch

Body Fat Percentage: 16% to 12%


Round #4: Theodore Roosevelt (+3 WIS)

Level Infinite All-American BAMF

Likes: Speaking Softly, Carrying a Big Stick

Dislikes: Asthma, Apathy, Tyranny




"Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure... than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."


Spoken like a true hero. This goal is a little more abstract. Every day I want to advance a goal: either improving a skill or trying something new. Every night I must write in my newly-purchased journal. Each day I will recount whether I accomplished a key goal and whether I have begun to distinguish myself from the twilight. 


A= 36 (of 42 days)

B= 32

C= 28

D= 21

F= < 21


Thanks for reading. I'm going to be a ton more active this time around on the message boards, so hit me up with comments/suggestions if you would like.








Level 2 - Elan Ranger

STR: 5.25 | DEX: 1.75 | STA: 5.25 | CON: 7.75 | WIS: 3.5 | CHA: 2.25

Challenge #1, Current Challenge


Make no little plans. They have no magic to stir men's blood. -Daniel Burnham


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