Peeking around the door...

[Queen of Swords]

Hi everyone,

 

I'm a little overwhelmed by the sheer volume of...stuff on this site, by the number of people who are obviously on their path and helping others.  It's inspiring, but coming from a fairly anaesthetized way of "living" (existing), it's a lot of energy to take in at once.  Sedentary lifestyle is an understatement.  More like sedated.  A decade of sitting behind a desk for 8+ hours a day 4-5 days a week has taken its toll; I've been snacking and guzzling (coffee) my way to a whopping 70 lbs of excess fat that needs to come off.  Now.  Unsurprisingly, the fact that I don't recognize the tired, overweight, depressed-looking woman in the mirror has done a number on my self esteem.  To boot, I'm struggling with either depression or some kind of mid-life crisis crap (I haven't decided which).  My doc says dysthymia.

 

Anyway, before I strapped myself into my office chair for the decade-long haul, I was actually in pretty good shape.  Not super awesome shape, but pretty damn good.  My hubby and I hit the weights in the dungeon (the garage) and ate basically meat and veggies.  When I was between jobs, we were up at 5 AM for facon and eggs, I'd kiss hubby goodbye as he headed to work, and I geared up for my usual 3 hour morning hike.  It was really awesome.

 

I used to love running, but the Fates have it in for me: I've also got arthritis and according to every doctor I've asked, running is the last thing I should be doing.  Why not try cycling?  Or swimming? they ask.  I stick my lip out and pout that it just doesn't make me feel like Lara Croft, running endlessly like a machine through the game.  Step-step-breath-in-step-step-breath-out, repeat.     It was the one cardio activity that I actually LIKED, and it's the one I can't do.  Because of my arthritis, I'm somewhat limited (at least for now) with certain exercises.  Squats are difficult, Leg extensions are virtually impossible.  And explosive movements like jumping jacks or burpees are especially painful.  It's frustrating because I have a body type that, shed of its extra padding and if free from arthritis, actually loves to work.  I don't work out (at all) right now, and my muscle still stays relatively toned.  I have a build/type that in its best condition is probably lightweight Ranger or heavy Assassin material.  

 

I am definitely a nerd, and proud of it.  I love nerds.  They're genuine.  My daughter said of my 16 year old son that he has trouble making friends with the popular kids because he's not fake enough to fit in with them.  Thank God for that.  I guess the fruit doesn't fall far from the Nerd Tree.

 

I don't think I'm quite ready to post stats or pictures or even goals at this point.  I'm still absorbing.  But I will say that I'm feeling more energized than I have in recent memory.  If I don't do something concrete soon, life will just continue to tick away and I'm just going to get more and more pissed off about it.  I guess it's just that that first step is doozy.

 

Looking forward to getting to know you better.

 

E.

[Laney]

This site is so friggin overwhelming, I totally understand! Your kids just need to find the right crowd, when I was 16 we started an anime club at my school and those were some of the best days I can remember.

 

You should look into Starting Flexibility, it's (exactly like it sounds) a flexibility program that will help you with squats and leg extensions if you choose that route. Just remember, you can't out-lift a bad diet.

 

Also, welcome to the rebellion! 

[Navi221]

What about swimming? Is there a YMCA near you? They should have classes in water aerobics or walking or even water therapy meant for people with arthritis. I used to go with my mom and I remember so many women with the same issue seeing wonderful results. You can do this-- look-- you took the first step. You're here & you posted! The force will be with you

[Mezzo Minx]

I totally get the overwhelmed feeling - I just started here two days ago and I've barely made it off the Introduction boards!

Just know that you've already done the hardest part in deciding to put yourself out there and decide you want a change. Let the happiness you felt when you were active before be your guide - remember how good you felt and aim to feel that way again!

Regardless of whether it's depression, mid-life crisis, or anything else, you know it's not how you want to feel. I promise you that you are not alone in your struggles - there are tons of people on here all going through the same things.

Welcome, and if you ever need someone to chat to feel free to send me a message!

[Queen of Swords]

Thanks everyone for the awesome responses.  I'm starting my first workout tonight - nothing major, just enough to say I've done it - but it's the first step.  Yeah, I think the key is going to be getting back to the simple joy of movement.  Moving because it's fun.  And because I still can.  Could be a lot worse: I could be a paraplegic.  That would really put a damper on my dreams of running.

[Elastigirl]

How did your first workout go?

[Queen of Swords]

Well...as usual, I've overdone it.  Instead of checking my stupid ego at the door, I decided to do waaay more leg lifts than I should've and now my abs are really sore.  But tonight is workout #2, and I'll just have to avoid overworking them.  Couldn't do squats.  Funny thing though: I used to have a gym membership (had to cancel it...boring story) and when I was there, I was able to use the leg press fairly comfortably.  My muscles were like, "Oh yeah, this feels awesome."  My joints weren't as happy, but they didn't complain nearly as much as I thought they would.  But squats, for some reason, hurt like a SOB.  I have an exercise ball, so I'll try using it to do modified squats (leaning against it and rolling it up and down the wall).  

 

So, um, can anyone point me in the right direction?  I'd like to start a personal challenge and I'm looking for someplace to post my goals and progress.  I know you have 6-week challenges.  Can anyone give me the nutshell version of how that works?  I'm not a D&D person, so I don't know whether or not I'll find the point-gaining aspect motivational.  I do like the idea of achieving levels, however.  And I like the idea of belonging to a guild.  Any advice on first steps?

 

Thanks again!

[Mezzo Minx]

Well...as usual, I've overdone it.  Instead of checking my stupid ego at the door, I decided to do waaay more leg lifts than I should've and now my abs are really sore.  But tonight is workout #2, and I'll just have to avoid overworking them.  Couldn't do squats.  Funny thing though: I used to have a gym membership (had to cancel it...boring story) and when I was there, I was able to use the leg press fairly comfortably.  My muscles were like, "Oh yeah, this feels awesome."  My joints weren't as happy, but they didn't complain nearly as much as I thought they would.  But squats, for some reason, hurt like a SOB.  I have an exercise ball, so I'll try using it to do modified squats (leaning against it and rolling it up and down the wall).  

 

Don't worry about it - we ALL overdo it occasionally. I find I have a tendency to overdo leg workouts too since I know too many exercises for them and I get carried away lol. I found squats used to be painful for me too, but the stronger the surrounding muscles became, the less my knees complain. It might just take some time to get them up to par and then your joints will hurt less. The modified squats are a great place to start. Besides, you can learn to love that totally attractive post-leg-day walk. My husband and I call each other "Wobbles" on those particular days haha.

 

I wish I could help you with the 6-week challenge explanation, but I'm a little too new here to really know that well either! I think I'll be jumping in on the next one for sure. If you're trying to figure out goals, maybe think about a realistic amount of weight loss that could be achieved for you in 6 weeks, or certain eating habits you'd like to maintain for that long?

[Queen of Swords]

Don't worry about it - we ALL overdo it occasionally. I find I have a tendency to overdo leg workouts too since I know too many exercises for them and I get carried away lol. I found squats used to be painful for me too, but the stronger the surrounding muscles became, the less my knees complain. It might just take some time to get them up to par and then your joints will hurt less. The modified squats are a great place to start. Besides, you can learn to love that totally attractive post-leg-day walk. My husband and I call each other "Wobbles" on those particular days haha.

 

I wish I could help you with the 6-week challenge explanation, but I'm a little too new here to really know that well either! I think I'll be jumping in on the next one for sure. If you're trying to figure out goals, maybe think about a realistic amount of weight loss that could be achieved for you in 6 weeks, or certain eating habits you'd like to maintain for that long?

Oh yeah.  Quads are feelin' it now.  Did a bunch of "roller squats" and that seemed to hit the spot.  I'm trying to avoid doing the same workout I used to do years ago (I haven't seriously hit the gym in literally a decade), because I'm not the same person I used to be.  It feels right to use a completely different workout because I'm a completely different person.  I've grown in a lot of ways - some better than others.  I don't want to try and regain my youth, because it's not possible.  I want to be in better shape now than when I was in my 20's.  I want young, wimpy people to wish they were me, and ask me how did you get in such great shape?  And where's the gym?  

 

I really do want to be one of those before and after cases; I have always been inspired by people who turn lemons into lemon meringue pie.  I believe everything happens for a reason; I'm sure there's a good reason I got as fat and out of shape as I am (other than the obvious).  I'm not predisposed to being overweight and I never used to struggle with it.  I guess I must have needed a project, so the Powers That Be said, "I know!  Let's set her up to get fat.  I mean really out of shape and overweight and depressed and all that stuff.  Let's see what kind of cook she is..."  So...here I am with my pile of lemons.    I think there's enough to work with here that I could probably do something really great with it.  My biggest fear/problem is my lack of consistency.  I start out with lots of enthusiasm and then lose interest.and motivation.  I miss one workout.  Then two.  The next week is a half-hearted effort with only a couple of workouts and a lot of excuses.  My diet falls apart.  The Voice starts in with her "I told you so." bullshit, and there I am not just back at square one, but face first in a bucket of rocky road.  It's a bad pattern that I need to break, so that's probably my #1 goal: I want exercise and other health-promoting activities to be my happy place, instead of the freezer.  I want to WANT to work out.