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I fought The Devil on a Monday when I was four years old. 


The battle took place amid the towering shelves of the local library, deep within the Pre-K learning center. Armed with a pitchfork and a desire to gouge out eyes, Satan's vessel giggled gleefully behind the horned mask of his master. No princess, firefighter, cowboy, or dinosaur was spared from the hellion's taunts and provocations. Demonic douchiness soon became the only treat to fill our plastic pumpkins. Had it been any other day, the sound of my sobbing would have readily joined the chorus of the others'. However, on that particular Monday, I too was a vessel for a greater power. I had no sword, fangs, or claws of adamantium. All that accompanied me was a blue onesie, a red cape, and a large "S" branded shield printed on my chest. On that day, my spirit was indestructible.


Almost twenty years have gone by since that Monday morning. I've replaced the costume with a suit and tie. In place of the library is a small office with fluorescent lighting. My demons no longer poke their heads around bookshelves but rather into my thoughts. I've felt broken more times than I would care to admit.


I choose to tell these secrets with you, complete strangers, because I'm tired of being a bitter hermit. I no longer want to feel weak like I used to when the bullies gave me a hard time in grade school. I'm done with feeling worthless like I did when I found out my first girlfriend was cheating on me. I'm dropping the lingering hatred of my current life and choosing to actively believe that I can build a better one.


For the next 90 days my goal is to complete the P90X program that has been gathering dust on my shelf for the last three years. My diet is clean but in desperate need of Hulk-sized portions. I can't say with certainty if I'll bring anything new and shiny to this community, but I'd feel happy if even just one person was inspired to make a positive change in his/her life based on my experiences. I know I was when I first found NF.


In closing, I'm a skinny nerd and this is my fitness story.

"The Iron never lies to you." -Henry Rollins

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What a great and captivating story. Congratulations on taking your first step, which is by wanting to change. Even though I'm still new, I will be here to help you through it, because no change is easy. Nothing worth doing ever is, but imagine how great a caterpillar feels when it emerges a butterfly. You are "shiny and new" and your presence alone offers something new and exciting for these forums, and I'm sure we're all glad to have you. Welcome to the rebellion!

Edward the Satyr 


Level 1

"Bad things happen to good people because they have the most to gain from them."

STR: 2|DEX: 2|STA: 1|CON: 3|WIS: 4|CHA: 3


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