*Ahem* Er . . . um . . . *blush* Shy bird saying "hello"

[Egret]

Here goes.  I have recently turned my life on its head and begun a great quest.  It's a good thing, although sometimes it feels like freefall.  Physically, I am 47, 5' 8.5" (don't try to to take away that half inch; I really like that half inch), and 165lbs.  I used to be an annoyingly, effortlessly skinny waif, but quitting smoking (it will be 2 years on September 19th, thankyouverymuch), cruel age, and the onset of menopause have really changed my body.  Physically, I feel like a stranger to myself and when I catch a glimpse of myself passing a mirror, I cringe.  I'm concerned that if I don't put a stop to the weight gain, it will just never end.  So this is me.  Putting a stop to it.  One day at a time.  Grrrrrrr.  I'm more interested in feeling good in my skin than in how I "look," although if I were able to rock my skinny jeans, I would certainly not complain.  I feel bloated and doughy and it's just not a happy feeling. 

 

The past few years have brought in increasing sense of dissatisfaction with myself and my life in other aspects as well.  A lover of books and art, I once dreamed of being a writer, an artist, a creator of some kind.  I work in accounting on films.  How the *!@ did that happen?  By accident.  My life seems to be a series of accidents.  In some ways I like that I'm open and adaptable, but I feel like I woke up, shook my head, looked around and suddenly had no idea where I was or how I got there.  I should have taken that left at Albuquerque.  I've had some wonderful experiences, but this isn't the life I would have chosen.  My self-esteem is low; I'm not spending time doing things I really want to be doing; and I feel like my life is aimless and has little purpose.  This is not who I want to be.  So I'm spitting out the poisonous apple of complacency and status quo and paying attention to living according to my genuine, soul-deep priorities.

 

What I've accomplished so far:  As I mentioned, I quit smoking almost two years ago.  Three months ago, I sold/gave away/left most of my belongings, packed my clothes and art supplies and moved cross country from Los Angeles (where I never really belonged, even though I stayed there for 21 years) to upstate New York. I have found an apartment in a very small town, but the apartment has a wonderful long room lined with a bank of huge windows overlooking a creek where I am setting up my art studio/work room.  There is a railtrail that starts just down the street from my apartment and there is a fantastic, mountainous state park for hiking just up the road.  

My goals here on NF are to get fit and continue improving my eating habits.  I used to be a distance runner (before I started smoking) and while my knees and hips may not allow a return to running, I have started rowing and I really enjoy it.  I love water and hiking and think I will be a natural for the Druids and, possibly, the Scouts.  Having spent a few days reading over the articles and forums here on NF, I am impressed and inspired by the people here and hope, with your support and encouragement, to continue leveling up until I am a fit and fine working artist who can find her way through the woods without a map or a compass. 

 

Thank you for your kind indulgence.

 

Egret

 

[mevre]

wonderful to hear from you, and so glad to have you as a part of the community! good luck on your journey, be sure to keep us posted on your progress!
cheers!

[Egret]

Thank you hanna.bandana.  There's so much to read and do it's overwhelming, but such a lot of fun.

[DreadPirateButtercup]

 

The past few years have brought in increasing sense of dissatisfaction with myself and my life in other aspects as well.  A lover of books and art, I once dreamed of being a writer, an artist, a creator of some kind.  I work in accounting on films.  How the *!@ did that happen?  By accident.  My life seems to be a series of accidents.  In some ways I like that I'm open and adaptable, but I feel like I woke up, shook my head, looked around and suddenly had no idea where I was or how I got there.  I should have taken that left at Albuquerque.

 

 

I'm new here too, and can so appreciate what you're saying here, Egret. It sounds like you've made some great strides in taking control of your destiny -- go you!

 

Here's to new beginnings!

 

[Egret]

Thanks, Buttercup (and GREAT name).  I feel good about the beginnings I've made.  The next thing is, I think, not to get bogged down or let my enthusiasm wane. 

 

And here's to new beginnings, indeed!  *clink*