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A Polite way to say "no"?


YamaMaya

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I've been playing around with the idea of going Paleo for awhile now, but there are two major obstacles in my way. 

 

1) My friends are addicted to junk food and processed food

 

2) They tend to get a bit pushy if I try to say no, and I hate to appear rude. When we hang out it's usually around dinner time and they tend to buy frozen pizzas, chicken burgers, chips, ect instead of cooking. I tried tosay no to just chips and it was a major deal trying to get them to take no for an answer. I ended up getting really frustrated and gave up.

 

So what I need are some tips and tricks to saying no in a nice way. I've been thinking about simply eating a paleo friendly meal before we go, but there's still the issue of how to not look like a massive jerk doing it.

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most of my friends know that I have a lot of allergies...

 

when I first made the dietary changes I have made I would say "no thanks I am trying this thing" and when they try to push I just smile and say "no thanks"

 

my biggest problem was when they would say "you know you want it"

 

I just be like the penguins from madagascar...

 

 

large.jpg

 

keep calm... smile nicely and say no...

 

 

my hardest time was when one of my bosses was like "have a donut one won't kill you" and I had to say no four times... finally she was like "Jenn it's a social situation you are required to have a donut" to which I replied "I can be social with you without poisoning my body"

 

now when people try to give me bad (for me) foods I just smile and say no thanks... it's been so long that people usually don't offer and it's usually the "I know you don't want any of this but I am offering to everyone and didn't want you to feel left out" to which I say "thanks for including me!"

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Keep in mind that they're massive jerks for pressuring you.  "I don't want any" should be enough.  If you simply must have a bite, act like it's dog vomit so they severely don't enjoy watching you try to eat it without gagging.

I have conditions that affect my social awareness.  If I am rude, tell me what I could do better.

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It's just as rude, if not more, for them to not take "no" for an answer and keep pressuring you. At any rate, you could try...

 

"No thanks, I already ate earlier and I'm stuffed." / "No thanks, I'm not hungry." (Simple, least explaining needed.)

 

Have your own snacks/food available, "No thanks, I'm good with my ______."

 

"No thanks, I'm avoiding (sugar/grains/processed food/fried food/whatever) for a while."

 

Another thing that I do is to always have water or tea so that my hands are never empty. I'm not sure why, but it helps.

 

The real secret is to stay strong, be firm. Eventually they'll get the hint and quit trying so hard. They'll realize it's not worth the effort when you never give in.

 

You can do it! Your health and happiness are so much more important than making pushy, unhappy people less uncomfortable in social situations. Good luck! :)

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I just looked this up because I've got a trip tomorrow and everyone will bring food along (including home made baking...) and I need polite ways to say no...

 

My ideas so far:

 

- No, thanks, I get a sore stomach/pyrosis from eating .... (which is actually true for me for food with lots of carbohydrates)

- No, thanks, I just found out that I am allergic against sodium glutamate [other preservative/flavour enhancer] (thats for sure a part of their food!)

- No, thanks, I actually have irritable bowel syndrome; believe me, you don't want me to eat that!

 

That's it for alibis.

 

Tactics for you could also be:

 

- Invite them for dinner at yours! Buy drinks, cook something nice (one healthy option for you and some healthy stuff in disguise for your friends (self made burgers, done the right way eg)) treat them like kings. If they THEN complain about why you are not eating this or that, they would be rude! But maybe they'll like your food :)

- Always, ALWAYS prepare some healthy dinner for you and bring it along. Say you need to save money!

- When you bring something along, offer them some of your food and say you would love to share or that you made this especially for them (though you haven't^^). Of course, since they love their crappy food, they'll say no (Reply something like "okay, thats alright for me if you prefer your food"). BUT because they said no to your really nice offer, they can't be mad with you or putting too much pressure on you when you say no, even more since you were fine with them not eating your stuff!

 

What also works good, particularly when there are a lot of people or when its a bit chaotic:

 

- Thanks for the offer, I am eating this at the moment, but I'll try something later! (Then you just eat your stuff extra slow, so you'll be finished after them. By the way you described your friends, I guess they'll probably eat all of it without putting something on the side for you. Or they'll forget that you said you'd try something later. Even if they put something on the side, you can say: Oh no, I am so stuffed! (leave a few pieces of your food on the plate to demonstrate you can't even finish your own meal))

- A smooth sea never made a skillfull sailor - 
 
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It's just as rude, if not more, for them to not take "no" for an answer and keep pressuring you. At any rate, you could try...

 

"No thanks, I already ate earlier and I'm stuffed." / "No thanks, I'm not hungry." (Simple, least explaining needed.)

 

Have your own snacks/food available, "No thanks, I'm good with my ______."

 

"No thanks, I'm avoiding (sugar/grains/processed food/fried food/whatever) for a while."

 

Another thing that I do is to always have water or tea so that my hands are never empty. I'm not sure why, but it helps.

 

The real secret is to stay strong, be firm. Eventually they'll get the hint and quit trying so hard. They'll realize it's not worth the effort when you never give in.

 

You can do it! Your health and happiness are so much more important than making pushy, unhappy people less uncomfortable in social situations. Good luck! :)

 

^this

 

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong, or rude about what you are trying to do. What is rude is your friends refusing to respect your wishes about what goes into your body. Stand your ground :)

 

Lots of other good suggestions in this thread, but if your friends keep pushing the issue you have to ask yourself which is more important? Taking care of the only body & life that you have, or keeping a bunch of people who don't seem to care about your health happy?

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