How to know when it's time to break up?

[katakism]

How to know when it's time to break up with your personal trainer?

 

I hate confrontation, but my trainer is almost always late, be it 5-15mins late, and it bothers me!!

 

I spend a good chunk of $$ on gym fees + trainer twice a week..

My hubby would prefer I quit the PT sessions and save the $100/week or whatever it is (but fully supporting my choice atm and would not let me quit my gym membership!!)

 

So I guess, I could quit this gym, join another, I like it enough but not fussed..it has weights and the usual cardio stuff, lots of classes etc.

 

Or create my own program (like SL5x5 and C25KZ and classes) which would be enough I think.

 

He's introduced me to deadlifts..which he was surprised to find are my favourite..

 

I like him as a friend and don't want to disappoint, but at some point I need to say something?

 

I also liked the nutrition advice - he pointed out Marks Daily Apple and from there I found you guys...

 

Any help would be appreciated, atm I feel like I'm stuck in the situation? Just weighing the pros and cons of it all I guess!

[DELETED]

I know you like him as a friend, but remember, he being your trainer is a business relationship. You are paying him for a session, and he is showing up late. Is he at least making up the time he is late at the end of the session?

 

If you aren't sure you definitely want to fire him as your trainer, you could try bringing up that he is consistently late.  He should be willing to work with you, by either making sure he shows up on time to your current session time, or trying to find a different session time that works for both of you.  If he isn't willing to work with you, i'd fire him. 

[BucketHeadWendy]

I agree with upirygirl; this is a business relationship, and from what you mention, he's not conducting himself in a particularly businesslike manner. Unless he's making up his lost time, or cutting what he's charging you to reflect the actual time he's putting in, then you are accepting friendship in trade. Don't accept that. He sure as hell wouldn't allow you to pay him less because you're buddies. Something to think about. 

 

Also, does he challenge you? Motivate you? Is he constantly teaching you new things? Are workouts with him always a challenge? In other words, is he still relevant? Or is he just putting you through the same old motions, doing the same old crap day after day? If that's the case, then your money is better spent elsewhere; time to can him. If you come to that conclusion, be kind but firm. This is a business relationship after all, so there should be very little confrontation involved. Most PT's have had this happen a few times, and know how to deal with it professionally. 

 

Hope this helps! 

[67alecto]

 

 

I like him as a friend

 

 

This is the issue right here.  You consider him a friend, so you cut him way more slack.  You have to wonder if he shows up late to sessions for everyone, or just the people who consider him friends.

 

I'd let him know that you're on a schedule and need him to either show up on time, and for what should be rare instances to provide enough notice he's running late.

 

If he still can't do it, cut him loose.

 

I had a similar experience with a family friend who was a realtor. After awhile, it became very obvious that they were taking advantage of the prior relationship and sacrificing the quality of their work as a realtor for us because they felt like they could get away with it.  I still like them, but I won't use them again.

[sdnet]

I like him as a friend and don't want to disappoint, but at some point I need to say something?

 

Is this a question or a statement?  Like the others here, I definitely agree that your friendship with him is getting in the way of you doing what you probably know is right.  He may be your friend, but you are also paying him GOOD MONEY to perform a service.  If you are dissatisfied with the service, then yes, of course say something.  Being punctual is actually one of my pet peeves.  I definitely do not appreciate it when people are late.  It shows absolutely no respect for the other person's time, even if he isn't cutting YOUR workout short because HE was late. 

 

On a more general note, I don't like staying with personal trainers for too long.  They do serve a perfectly legitimate purpose - they critique your form, show you new exercises, turn you on to new diet plans and the like.  But remember that fitness is as much an art as it is a science.  Another personal trainer might have a new collection of exercises that you haven't tried before that you might like better (and, more importantly, might WORK BETTER) for you.  At some point, you're basically paying $100 a week for your personal trainer to stand there and watch you work out.  He might chat with you about things, throw out a pointer here and there, but honestly, the more significant benefit of him being there is GONE. 

 

So, you could approach it that way.  You're simply ready to rotate personal trainers because, at least in my mind, it's usually beneficial to do that anyway.