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upirygirl finds her zen


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i’m always telling people to “find your zen†but i’ve yet to find my own.  during the last challenge, stress came up and punched me in the face, and the diet portion of my challenge suffered. the problem is that i can handle physical pains but not mental or emotional pains.  i’m not comfortable being mentally/emotionally uncomfortable.  (more thoughts about that here)

 

so for this challenge, i think it would be best to focus on managing my stress better.  i think food will fall back into place once my poor reactions to stress stop running the show.  i don’t want to completely neglect my body though, so i need to keep going with exercise. (plus they claim exercise helps reduce stress.)

 

 

MAIN GOAL: Take over the world. MWHAHAHAHAH (disclaimer: not actually planning hostile takeover of world. just want to feel powerful and in control)

 

 

CHALLENGE GOAL: STRESS REDUCTION

 

1. Meditation

  • Every work day - Take at least one of my two allotted paid breaks at work and go to calm.com for 5 minutes. (My office seems to be where most of my stress-induced breakdowns are happening.)  1 WIS / 1 CON
    • GRADES:
      • A - Never missed a day
      • B - Missed less than 5 days
      • C - Missed less than 10 days
      • D - Missed less that 15 days
      • E - Missed 16 or more days
  • Three times a week – Practice meditation outside of the office.  Experiment with the different types (breathing, focus, etc) and methods (guided tracks, youtube, on my own, etc) until I find what seems to work for me.  Minimum of 5 minutes per session. 1 WIS / 1 CON
    • GRADES:
      • A - Every week had at least 3 sessions
      • B - 5 weeks had at least 3 sessions
      • C - 4 weeks had at least 3 sessions
      • D - 3 weeks had at least 3 sessions
      • E - Less than 3 weeks had at least 3 sessions

2. Relaxation

  • Three times a week – do a relaxing activity that i enjoy. im mostly leaning towards work on my Farmer’s Wife quilt, which im hand sewing, but i don’t want to lock myself in to that.  UNPLUG! activity should be as non-electronic as possible… hand sewing, coloring, reading, etc. Minimum 15 minutes per session. 1 WIS / 1 CON
    • GRADES:
      • A - Every week had at least 3 sessions
      • B - 5 weeks had at least 3 sessions
      • C - 4 weeks had at least 3 sessions
      • D - 3 weeks had at least 3 sessions
      • E - Less than 3 weeks had at least 3 sessions

 

CHALLENGE GOAL: WORK THAT BODY

 

3. Hard Hat Challenge

  • I chose to accept Steve’s hard hat challenge, and I chose “exercise every day†as my goal.  So far, with the exception of one “speed bump†due to being sick, I have been doing some kind of physical activity everyday.  So keep it up! 2 STR / 2 CON
    • GRADES:
      • A - Exercise / Physical Activity every day with 1 "speed bump" allowed
      • B - Missed 3 or less days
      • C - Missed 6 or less days
      • D - Missed 9 or less days
      • E - Missed 10 or more days
  • Bonus! (sort of!) – Finish Zombies Run 5K.  There’s 6 weeks to the challenge, and what a coincidence, I have 6 weeks left to the program.  I’m enjoying it and would like to keep going with it, but if for some reason I don’t complete it during the challenge, I’ll be ok (provided i haven’t completely abandoned the hard hat challenge and am still doing something every day.) But I thought some stat points allocated specifically to it might help motivate me to work it in as part of the hard hat challenge.  1 CON / 2 STA
    • GRADES:
      • A - FINISHED WEEK 8 / COMPLETED THE PROGRAM! WOO!
      • B - In week 7 or 8 of training
      • C - In week 5 or 6 of training
      • D - In week 4 of training
      • E - Still on week 3 of training / no real progress

 

CHALLENGE GOAL: BREAK A BAD HABIT

 

4. Credit Cards

  • STOP USING THE F’N THINGS!  If i am ever going to get out of debt, i need to stop increasing my debt.  Can't dig out of a hole, Christy. Put the shovel down.  No cash = no purchase, with the following exceptions: 2 WIS
    • An emergency (and no “those shoes are cute and on sale†is not an emergency)
    • Medical expenses such as co-pays, prescriptions, and needed supplements.
  • GRADES:
    • A - Zero unacceptable credit card uses
    • B - 5 or fewer unacceptable credit card uses
    • C - 10 or fewer unacceptable credit card uses
    • D - 15 or fewer unacceptable credit cards uses
    • E - More than 15 unacceptable credit card uses
      • Note: I didn't do this as a "week by week" goal because i know if i use the card and fail the week, the flood gates will open and i'll be all "omg, i better buy this before the new week starts!" and i want to avoid that. so i'm leaving this as a "can totally fail completely in one day" type of goal to encourage not using the card at all.

 

UNOFFICIAL SIDE CHALLENGE: IMPROVE "BEING UNCOMFORTABLE" STAMINA

 

This is unofficial because 1. i'm not really focusing on food this challenge and 2. i don't know exactly how i would do the grading anyway.  So it's just something I'm going to be conscious of and work on, without having points or possibly "failing" at.  If it seems like it's interfering with my official challenge goals, I will drop it and completely focus on those. But i think it will work in with those nicely, so going to give it a shot.

 

When stressed out and wanting to eat junk food, spend money, or other bad habits that don't really help - spend some time being uncomfortable. start with 5 minutes and work on increasing that time (by roughly one minute) each additional situation.  Spend the time trying to relax, listening to nature sounds, reading my list of reasons not to eat unhealthy food, etc.

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Great goals.  That's a really interesting website too.  I might just have to use that on my challenge as well.  That would be awesome if you finished the Zombies 5K.  What a fun thing to do.  Will be checking on your progress!  Good luck!

~Miranda (aka Farax K)

 

Stars hide your fires for these here are my desires
And I won't give them up to you this time around
And so I'll be found with my stake stuck in the ground
Marking the territory of this newly impassioned soul ~ Mumford and Sons

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Great goals.  That's a really interesting website too.  I might just have to use that on my challenge as well.  That would be awesome if you finished the Zombies 5K.  What a fun thing to do.  Will be checking on your progress!  Good luck!

 

Hi! thanks! Steve had mentioned it (calm.com) in his Hard Hat Challenge blog and i had to go see what it was. Took me a little bit to figure it out - there's not really any instructions i could find. but once you get the hang of it, it's really nice.  ps - love the mumford & sons quote in your sig. that is possibly my fav part of any of their songs - i love to sing that loud and strong.

 

Sounds great upirygirl :) look forward to following your progress.

I'll be posting mine later, btw I put my hard hat into my challenge too, lol.

 

yay kiara! i'm looking forward to reading your goals for this challenge!

 

and i'm not following you guild to guild, i swear! :)

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just finished ZR5K Week 2 Day 3, so what i wrote above about having 6 weeks left is officially true now. lol i forgot my ankle support, which i really regretted half way thru but i survived!

 

i also added my zombies run profile into my sig if anyone wants to stalk it.  didn't share the maps but shared the times and i think the songs i listen to come up if you search hard enough. ya know, if you care about that kind of stuff. will still post here tho when i finish a workout, so the stalking option is just extra for anyone who likes that kind of thing...

 

after a talk with mom last night, i decided my kennel job can count as my exercise on those days. i come home exhausted, sore and achy so "work that body" is definitely happening.  i'm up and down stairs doing laundry, doing "resistance training" trying to keep dogs under control when i walk them, lifting heavy things (iron grates) when i clean the runs (2 grates per kennel run) AND putting them back down again (under control because i can't stand when people just drop them. makes a racket and scares the dogs), fighting with the central vac hose, bending while i mop, etc. it's a LOT of work right after job #1 (very tiny break between where i can eat a little, but not a ton of time). i don't get to sit. it is basically a 4 hour workout 3 times a week (plus a mini morning workout of about 2 hours once a week, but on the same day as one of the longer ones.) and that's a lot of workout.

 

i know as i keep going, my body will get stronger so when that happens, i'll add in some dedicated exercise (or find a way to make the job more challenging. run the dogs instead of walk them maybe? some of them def want to run)  but right now, i will need to focus on my meditation and relaxation stuff when i get home or i wont meet those goals - in addition to showering, setting out clothes for the morning, packing a lunch for the next day, and getting to bed in time to get a fair amount of sleep before having to get up to go to job #1 where my evil boss suddenly wants ungodly amounts of overtime again. 

 

(i work about 13-15 hours at the PT job plus the 40 hours at the FT job and now FT job wench demanded 6.5 hours of OT from everyone every week -knowing damn well my coworker and i just picked up second jobs- for an indeterminate amount of time. even the week she's on vacation, she expects us to all practically live there. i said no. i actually i almost quit, but i can't afford that. so instead she's getting about 3.5 hours of OT from me... but i'm looking at almost-60-hour work weeks between the 2 jobs until my boss feels like she doesn't need to be an (insert your favorite word here) anymore.)

 

so that's that...

 

Rawr!  Yes, Work that Body!  Rawr!  Rawr!  Good Luck!

 

yay! hi kiwi!

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Subbed. I'll be with the adventurers, probably for a while until,I get my muscle issues figured out.

Goals look great!

 

yay there you are! now i know where to look for your thread. :)

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09-16-13 Calm.com Session – Morning break.  I choose a scene of waves rolling onto the shore and set the timer for 5 minutes. 

 

My mind wanders like a jerk. 

 

My mom and I do this thing – I call it frogging – where our brains leapfrog from topic to topic to topic, and sometimes the transitions are so rapid that we may just abruptly change the subject in conversation and a person who doesn’t frog will be all, “how did you get from that to this?†but there’s a very clear path in our brains.  I can even usually tell how mom leapfrogged to the new topic without needing her to explain the path she jumped because our minds just work similarly. 

 

Frogging… This is what my brain does during meditation… because EVERYTHING connects to SOMETHING else and it just frogs all over the f’n place.

 

Look at the waves… look how the water ripples… the word ripples reminds me of a quote from Xena. The scene starts playing in my head. Xena reminds me of middle and high school, and the friends I had then. I don’t talk to them much. Stop that. Focus. Waves. I’m trying. I’m going to have to write all of this down for later. I need to keep track of my progress. But my mind keeps wandering which isn't good. It’s wandering now. I know but everything reminds me of something else. Many leaves, one tree. Epic was a good movie. I’m glad I watched it last night. Dude, seriously, stop it. FO. CUS. I’m trying! Ok, ok, don’t get stressed out about the thing that’s supposed to reduce stress. Ok, I’m not stressed about this, I swear. Focus on the waves. Ugh, the graphic loop keeps skipping. That’s distracting. I wonder if it’s the site or accessing the site on the work computer. Gawd, I hate work. This day isn’t even close to over yet. STOP WANDERING, MIND. WATCH THE F’N WAVES.

 

Ding. 5 minutes.

 

So my brain went into the past, went into the future, went just about everywhere it could go except hanging out in the present.  Well that feels less than successful. Sigh. I know. It takes practice. Just have to keep at it… and maybe stop yelling at myself.

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Hehe. Frogging. Good word!!

 

Atleast you did it, and you will be more relaxed over time :)

 

I do this thing where I have a thought in my head then continue the thought out loud and my husband will be like 'what??' haha.

'The only Limits you have, are the ones You set for yourself'


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Rawr!  :D

 

RAWR! :D

 

I love the phrase frogging. I do it too. My husband calls it, "Ooh! Shiny!"

 

ha!  i say "shiny object" too sometimes, but that's more of a "im so distracted im not even listening to you anymore."  another phrase i use is "oh look a chicken!" based on a shirt i had once. my boss is fond of "squirrel!" which i believe is from Up.

 

Hehe. Frogging. Good word!!

 

Atleast you did it, and you will be more relaxed over time :)

 

I do this thing where I have a thought in my head then continue the thought out loud and my husband will be like 'what??' haha.

 

my mom does that every now and then. or sometimes she's practicing what she wants to say to someone in her head, but moves her head and her hands as though she's talking out loud. that's hysterical. "mom, you're talking to yourself in your head again."

 

for meditation - i know it's going to take practice and i just need to train my brain to be quiet. i think that's actually part of the problem. my brain is NEVER quiet. i have a radio station in there (i call it WBRN) that's always playing some kind of music, 4 or 5 conversations, 2 scenes from movies or tv shows playing, 3 to-do lists, etc. it reminds me of... have you ever been in a shopping mall and just listened?  there's so many people and music and stuff - there's a sort of hum almost... you can't really make out any one thing for too long - here and there you hear bits of a conversation or a piece of music, but it's mostly just this churning of sound and none of it makes much sense... that's what it's like in my head... constant noise with bits bubbling to the surface then ducking back under and each bubble leads to the next bubble. i've only ever had it be silent a few in my life... i don't know why it will suddenly go quiet, and it actually makes me a bit uncomfortable because it's SO different than normal. it's like suddenly everyone in the mall vanishes and i'm left with just the echo of me going "where'd everybody go? hello? i'm all alone."

 

so i think there's a tiny bit of reluctance for my brain to let go and shush because it's such an odd and slightly lonely feeling.

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Your mum sounds like a cool person to hang out with :)

I totally get what you mean about the supermarket. Sounds and voices but not clear enough to pick out everything. It sounds like that at our family gatherings! Lol. I just sit back and listen.

I wonder how it would feel to hear that all the time.. I'm pretty sure I have an inner voice that's basically my thoughts and I'm pretty sure i 'frog' too, doesn't seem particularly loud though. I'm actually trying to listen though so maybe that's it.

I guess the more you meditate the calmer your mind will be and it won't feel lonely to have the quiet but may feel as though you've let go of some stress? I think you're gonna be a master at this by the end of the challenge!

'The only Limits you have, are the ones You set for yourself'


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I guess the more you meditate the calmer your mind will be and it won't feel lonely to have the quiet but may feel as though you've let go of some stress? I think you're gonna be a master at this by the end of the challenge!

 

i hope so because i really need calm and less stress.

 

last night's "outside of work" meditation didn't go great because of external distractions. cat and dog being jerks to each other...every 10 seconds. i have no way of separating them except for locking the cat in the bathroom, which then she cries, or trying to send the dog to my parent's part of the house, where she won't go if i'm obviously upset (and considering the yelling, she was pretty sure i was.) i don't have any other doors in my part of the house except the bathroom... literally. i dont even have a bedroom door.

 

i finally just told them to go ahead and kill each other, i didn't care, and i went outside... but i was so agitated. tried my best to stay focused on the music/waves for 5 minutes, then went inside and climbed into bed and cried myself to sleep. sigh.  going to have to figure out something to do with them while i'm trying to practice. it seems like they like each other just fine except for when i need it to be quiet.

 

anyway, a new day starts today. trying to keep positive thoughts on the surface of my brain and stop myself when negative thoughts/memories pop up.

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i hope so because i really need calm and less stress.

 

anyway, a new day starts today. trying to keep positive thoughts on the surface of my brain and stop myself when negative thoughts/memories pop up.

 

Exactly :) I try to do this too. Positive thoughts create a positive atmosphere. Thats what I tell myself anyway :)

'The only Limits you have, are the ones You set for yourself'


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09-16-13 Calm.com Session – Morning break.  I choose a scene of waves rolling onto the shore and set the timer for 5 minutes. 

 

My mind wanders like a jerk. 

 

My mom and I do this thing – I call it frogging – where our brains leapfrog from topic to topic to topic, and sometimes the transitions are so rapid that we may just abruptly change the subject in conversation and a person who doesn’t frog will be all, “how did you get from that to this?†but there’s a very clear path in our brains.  I can even usually tell how mom leapfrogged to the new topic without needing her to explain the path she jumped because our minds just work similarly. 

 

Frogging… This is what my brain does during meditation… because EVERYTHING connects to SOMETHING else and it just frogs all over the f’n place.

 

Look at the waves… look how the water ripples… the word ripples reminds me of a quote from Xena. The scene starts playing in my head. Xena reminds me of middle and high school, and the friends I had then. I don’t talk to them much. Stop that. Focus. Waves. I’m trying. I’m going to have to write all of this down for later. I need to keep track of my progress. But my mind keeps wandering which isn't good. It’s wandering now. I know but everything reminds me of something else. Many leaves, one tree. Epic was a good movie. I’m glad I watched it last night. Dude, seriously, stop it. FO. CUS. I’m trying! Ok, ok, don’t get stressed out about the thing that’s supposed to reduce stress. Ok, I’m not stressed about this, I swear. Focus on the waves. Ugh, the graphic loop keeps skipping. That’s distracting. I wonder if it’s the site or accessing the site on the work computer. Gawd, I hate work. This day isn’t even close to over yet. STOP WANDERING, MIND. WATCH THE F’N WAVES.

 

Ding. 5 minutes.

 

So my brain went into the past, went into the future, went just about everywhere it could go except hanging out in the present.  Well that feels less than successful. Sigh. I know. It takes practice. Just have to keep at it… and maybe stop yelling at myself.

It is reassuring to hear that someone else does this too. I thought it was just me. 

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I hope things get better between the dog and the cat!  Food is always a good source to calm our tortoise down whenever he acts up.

 

Good Luck!  Find the Inner Peace!  Rawr!

 

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It is reassuring to hear that someone else does this too. I thought it was just me. 

 

i bet it's a lot more common than either of us thinks. sometimes i wish i could physically put a leash on my brain and yank it back where it's supposed to be.

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Exactly :) I try to do this too. Positive thoughts create a positive atmosphere. Thats what I tell myself anyway :)

 

i agree. like begets like. if i put out negative, i'll get negative back.

 

I hope things get better between the dog and the cat!  Food is always a good source to calm our tortoise down whenever he acts up.

 

Good Luck!  Find the Inner Peace!  Rawr!

 

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thanks!  it's really only in the bedroom that we have a problem. daisy (dog) is only territorial about that one room really... so if daisy is laying on her bed at the foot of mine and maddie (cat) tries to come in, daisy goes after her... and maddie is very "psh, i do what i want!" so she will just keep trying to come in no matter how many times the dog tries to kill her.  however, if daisy is on the bed with me, maddie will walk in with no issues from daisy, climb up on the bed, and start biting daisy's face (like i have to pry her mouth off) and daisy just lays there and takes it - doesn't even growl.

 

they have a love-hate relationship apparently. or they are secretly conspiring to drive me mad. (i'm seriously thinking it's the latter. they take turns waking me up in the middle of the night too.)

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We use squirrel too.  I can't meditate for beans.  The best I can do is count in my head when I am doing a rhythmic activity - at least it keeps the obsessive thinking stuff away :)  Also, my poor cat is living outside at the moment, because she wouldn't train the puppies when they are little, and now they are horrible to her and chase her unmercifully.  Poor Chaos.  I need to find a really mean cat to teach the dogs that cats have claws :)

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today was a "relaxing activity" day. i chose to work on a quilt block... i got about half of it finished... and i'm not relaxed. because of the f'n dog and cat again. first they did the "let's try to kill each other" thing... then when maddie decided she was bored with that, she ran around the room like she is on crack breaking anything she could get her paws on.

 

i've never realized before just how much my "kids" are harshin' my mellow... or how often i call my cat an asshole. she IS an asshole, but i don't need to be callin her names. it's not nice. i may have used the phrase "i fucking hate you two right now" also, which im not real happy with myself about. these types of situations are precisely why i've chosen to not have children... because they would remember this and tell their therapists on me...

 

so i REALLY need to brainstorm tomorrow on what to do with them for "me time" because, although i like having them around cuz i love them, this whole me-yelling-at-them thing isn't nice for any of us.  just because they don't know exactly what im saying doesn't mean THEY aren't getting stressed out because I'M stressed out and yelling. (my dog in particular, who looks completely miserable right now and needs snuggles and sorrys.)

 

status of other goals: calm.com at work - check, physical activity - check (zombies run 5k w3d1), no credit card use - check (and check for yesterday because i didn't mention it yesterday)

 

lastly - i don't seem to be receiving notifications from NF... not sure why as i'm subscribed to several threads, but i'm not getting the emails... :/

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used my credit card. justified it to myself at the time that 1. it was a race registration which is fitness-y! and 2. the proceeds went to charity.

 

but I wasn't really thinking. there was no reason I couldn't wait until Friday and use my debit card.  so that's dropped to B grade.

 

seriously, self, we're only 3 days in to challenge and you're already using it. you stop that.

 

I need to go through all my accounts and delete all the places where the card is saved for convenience.

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