[Georges] Accountability supports my goals.

[Georges]

Friday, March 6 (yesterday)
 
I've been putting off this post.
I tweaked something in my back at the end of my workout.
 
Worked, another busybusy day.  (But I got almost caught up... with the time sensitive stuff, anyway.)

 

Worked out.  (will edit in numbers)

 

Squat

Warmups

bar 2x5

75lbs 1x5

105lbs 1x5

Workset - lowered my weight because I couldn't get my form good enough at 135lbs.

115lbs 4x6

 

Press

Warmup. bar 2x5

Workset. 55lbs 3x5

 

Deadlift

Warmup. 135lbs 1x5

Workset. 165lbs 1x3 successful

 

Fourth rep on deadlifts - sloppy and hurried - something went wrong.

Hoping it will sort itself out.  Using some heat and stretching and moving really slowly and skipping running (not that it's an option) and hoping really, really hard that it will be okay.

I'm angry and worried and embarrassed (haven't told anyone but Mr.Georges) and worried.

[Georges]

Weekend (March 7-8)

 

Unhappy rest days.  Still hurting.  Not sure, but I will probably try to work out Monday, see how warmup (bar only) goes for each exercise.

 

On a happier note, I picked out my haircut.  Haven't got money to pay anyone to do it, so I might just give it a go myself.  Might wait until I can buy a workout headband first, in case...

[Georges]

Monday, March 9

 

Worked, yet another busy day.  Met deadlines, though.

 

Workout.  Went in not knowing how much (if any) stuff was going to be okay with my back.

Squats & Bench were okay.  Deadlift wasn't bad... but couldn't get all my reps.

I had a few extra minutes before closing, so I got on a treadmill... not okay.  Even walking was too much impact. 

 

Came home, figured if I worked out, I should try some of the stuff I didn't do on the weekend because of my back...

15 minutes of dishes, lots of pain.

 

Feeling kind of defeated.  And pathetic, because I "should" just be happy that I could lift today.

 

And, for the record, only 2/5 today for fruit&veg.  I need to start tracking it, because I suspect I'm getting 5/5 less often than I think.

[Georges]

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

 

Unproductive day off.

Step class - learning more about what's okay & not okay with my back.

Yoga - mostly good.

then I got chilled down on my way home and everything tightened up.  bad.

 

/sigh.

Also, 1/5.

[Georges]

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

 

Woke up a little achey, but worse than that was the vivid (and violent) dreams.  Not restful.

 

Worked - busy is the new normal.

 

Worked out. 

Squats are back up to 120 lbs for workset.

Press is still at 55 lbs, but felt a lot better.

Deadlifts - I did the warmup set at 135 lbs, but no workset.  I loaded the bar (160 lbs), set up to pull, and my back said "no."

I decided to listen because I need to be healed up asap.

 

Guilted myself into getting 5/5 today, probably a sign that tracking it is changing my behavior (...she typed, while eating jelly beans...),

and noticed today that that last weight spike was a week ago, so it will fall off my "7 days" graph on mfp tomorrow.

[Georges]

Thursday, March 12, 2015 (Yesterday)

 

Work.

Rest Day.

Antsy rest day.  I'm ready for spring to be here and I'm ready for my back to be all better and I'm ready for good things to start happening.

 

5/5.

 

Friday the 13th again.

 

Work, which was steady, but not crazy like it has been.  Yay!

Worked out.  Did my warmup deadlifts and skipped my workset deadlifts again.

 

I'll be going to the treadmill tomorrow, and hopefully I'll be able to run.  I think a lot of this week's stress has been running withdrawls.

 

3/5, but I've got plans for a banana and maybe another helping of dinner veggies...

[Georges]

Saturday AM...

4/5 yesterday, and felt like I overate. 

Confirmed this morning by another spike in weight.   

Time to face the fact that I've been eating like a fat person, and I need to change that.

[Georges]

The rest of Saturday:

got to treadmill.  I could feel my back, but not painful enough to stop.  5 12:00 miles.

got my 5/5, too.

Running, even on the 'mill, did wonders for my mood.

 

 

Sunday, 15 March

 

rest day.  doing a tiny bit of housework - the one thing that still really bothers my back is standing. 

not thrilled with the snow coming down.

 

edit to add:

5/5 today

also, I found out that even good yogurt won't stand up to mixing in whey isolate.  (It pretty much liquifies.)

[Georges]

Monday, 16 March - PWI!

 

Worked.  Busy, with extra-surprise-tasks added in the morning.  Mostly a good day, though.

 

Worked out.  Didn't really fuel well, because sometimes I'm lazy about that.  2-4 oz of cheddar and a banana are not really a meal.

Working set squats at 125, but with good form since I deloaded, so I'm happy with them.

Working set press at 60, (first time) did not get all my reps. 

Instead of skipping my work set of deadlifts, I did them at 145, and that went okay.

 

Home, still too lazy to cook, so I had snack mix, and raisins, and a beer and now I'm having some yogurt.

On the one hand, not really enough calories today.  On the other hand, probably balances out last weekend.

 

Edit to add: 5/5.

[Georges]

Tuesday, March 17th, 2015

 

Day off from work.

Got some bills paid.

Used my seam ripper, pinned my workout pants.  (Still need to check, sew, reinforce seams, and decide if the length needs to change.)

Step aerobic class, followed by yoga class.  My back felt a lot better than last week.

Tried canned salmon today.  Flavor is okay, and the skin didn't bother me, but I ate part of a spine, and that's creepy.  I think it's just mental baggage because eating the spines of most other meat is not okay.

Today was the 4th dose (of eight) of the prescription strength Vitamin D.  Between that and iron supplement, I've been feeling less drained.

Looked at all the housework I should do, and now I'm feeling a bit bad about how little I got done today.

At least I got 5/5 fruits&veggies.

 

I spent a lot of today not thinking about work, but tomorrow, I'm going to think a lot about it, because lately, it's not really okay.

[Georges]

Wednesday, 18 March

 

Worked.

 

Worked out.

 

got more than 5/5.

 

Still not a great day.

 

Some days we go to the gym because we're motivated.  Some days we go to the gym because we go to the gym.

Did get a mile run in on the 'mill.

[Georges]

Thursday, 19 March

Rest Day

Worked

Home, relaxing w/Mr.Georges

Did not get my five-a-day, but between yesterday and today, got 10/10, so I'm not going to worry about it.

Ready for the weekend, just need to make it through one more workday.

[Georges]

I'm so cross these days, and I've realized a lot of it is the feeling that I'm treading water, or worse.
 

So, I hadn't actually noticed that the last challenge ended (until I saw today that the next one starts Monday).  I thought I'd revisit the last 7 weeks.
 

(posted 05 Jan 2015)

Sunday, 4 January 2015

I'm not doing a Challenge thread, but I like to think about goals in about 6 week chunks, so I started thinking about what my goals would be if I were doing one.

- Weight. I need to start losing some body fat. I'm tired of 0.0% in my progress bar.

- Learning more lifting. I haven't even started looking at overhead press, or really, anything beyond bench, squat, and deadlift. Also, there's a whole new vocabulary set.

- Add in my cardio. Kettlebell is only 2 more classes, and it looks like it will be replaced with step aerobics. Not sure yet if it will be more than once a week, but there's also treadmill and stationary bike options.

- Budgeting. I have poverty fatigue. I have debts again. I have a crappy income (40% cut in hours from last year :/ ) But Mr.Georges may have a raise and/or increase in hours this month. I just wrote down the approx. amount of debt (excluding vehicle loan payment) and a Gold/Silver/Bronze set of goal amounts for Feb 15.



So, I'll probably check back with those at the end of the challenge, but I'm really more focused on battlelogging on. If actions are producing results I want, I'll see if the structure of a challenge helps or hurts.

 
Jan 5th weight was 172.5, current is about 169, maybe a smidge under. ~3.5lbs lost (about half a pound/week)  So, today, I'm at 12% on my progress bar.
 
Got a lot more comfortable with my form on bench (still working on it), and happy with my squat and deadlift form.  Learned the press (OHP), still working on my form with it.  Learned lots of vocabulary, so I can actually follow threads/conversations about powerlifting.
 
Started step aerobics class, then added a treadmill day.  Tried the recumbent bicycle machine, but my knee didn't like it.  So, currently at 3 days of lifting, 2 days of cardio, 2 rest days.
 
Got caught up on monthly bills, and even met my 'gold' goal for reducing debt: $275 less (over the 7 weeks).
 
For the next 6 weeks, it's pretty much more of the same.

• Weight loss, eating more veggies, getting enough protein.
• Learning to power clean, getting happier with my bench and OHP form.
• Keeping up the cardio, maybe even getting to run outside...
• Keeping up with our bills, and whittling down that debt.

I'm also looking at

• stepping up my housework game
• seeing if my job can expand into a career
• car hunting
• sewing more

So, it's obvious to me that I'm going to have to prioritize a bit.
 
Anyway, that's where my goals are at these days.

 

That's from just under a month ago.  What's been going on since then? (Smiley coded for ease of reading)

• weight is stalled again, at 13% progress, so I've lost 1 pound in 1 month.  
• still haven't worked on power clean, and I really should, so I can alternate it with deadlifts  
• I am happier with my form on bench and press.  
• Still at 2 days/week for cardio, and the only one I've skipped was running with my back messed up (once). 
• Keeping up with bills, barely 
• Not whittling down the debt at all 
• Doing much better on eating veggies, especially this last week. 
• Have not been pulling my share of the housework load 
• Very frustrated on the job front    x2
• Can't progress on the car hunt until end of summer (although I did find one lead to check then). 
• Sewing - have been trying, learning, failing.  Nothing useable yet except one at-home-only pair of jeans (repair).  ?? I guess that's progress ??
• 4 weeks into Iron supplements and prescription strength Vitamin D supplement to correct the levels I tested at. 

A lot of my frustration is grounded in feeling like I can't do anything about it all.  I'll probably keep rambling about it for a bit here as I brainstorm up some ideas/solutions/rationalizations until I feel better.  (I don't really have anyone in meatspace to talk it over with.) 

 

Anyway, that's all I've got tonight.

[Georges]

turnin' them frowns upside downs....

• weight is stalled again, at 13% progress, so I've lost 1 pound in 1 month.  
• still haven't worked on power clean, and I really should, so I can alternate it with deadlifts  

 
So, I know that the weight stall has a lot to do with me giving myself too much slack... Doing less (and using fewer calories) because low iron makes me tired and my back was all weird.  And eating badly because there are no healthy foods served at a pity party.  FACT.
Fix it:  My back is feeling mostly fine now.  Do more.  There's no reason for me to eat badly.  Eat well.  Boom.  Both totally in my control.
 
There was no way I was going to try to learn to power clean while my back was messed up.  Because even I don't have judgement that poor.  And I'd already put if off because I was taking it easy after my low-iron-woozy day. But now...
Fix it:  My Starting Strength book and I are going to the gym on Saturday, because there's no reason I can't work on power clean before I hit the treadmill, and there won't be anyone around, so I won't even have to feel self conscious.  Also totally in my control.

All in all, it's totally about the Wooden quote in my sig.

[Georges]

Friday, March 20, 2015

First Day of Spring

 

Worked, Worked out.

OHP is still going nowhere.

My arms are weeeeeeeeeeak.

Basically had to restart my deadlifts from 135 because of my back.

It's slow and a little frustrating, and I worry I'll hurt myself again, but I'm starting to make a little progress.

I had to drop weight on my squats, too, but that was more for form issues than because of my back.

I know I'll feel better about it all once I've gotten back to my previous numbers.

[Georges]

Saturday, March 21 (yesterday)

 

Day off from work.

Went to the gym to learn how to power clean, and got nowhere with that.  I'll have to check some videos, see if it's my freakishly short arms or if I just need it explained a different way.

Treadmilled.  At 3.3 miles, I had to stop, because I couldn't catch my breath.  When I went to start again, I could feel blisters, so I did some 15% incline walking instead for the rest.

Since I felt a little cheated out of my full run, I did a few minutes on the crazy step machine (which is much more work than actual staircases) and tried out the upright bicycle to see if it would be okay with my knee (it wasn't).

When I got home to wash up, I checked my blister situation and found my first blood blister, so I had to look up treatment and finally decided to drain it, and was relieved at how much less blood it was compared to what it looked like, since my blood is all weak and deficient.

So, not the best Saturday, but not as much of a disaster as I felt like it was last night.

 

edit to add: only 3 or 4 out of 5 Saturday... didn't measure red sauce so I'm not entirely sure.

 

Sunday AM

"real" rest day (no work, no workout)

I have a ton of housework to do.

Maybe working on it will feel proactive and help with my stress levels?

 

edit to add more:  3? out of 5, unless I'm forgetting any, and no less stressed at the end of the day.

[Georges]

Monday, March 23, 2015

 

Worked.  Mostly caught up there.

 

Worked out.

squats are stalled out, and they shouldn't be.

bench went okay, got all my reps, but I couldn't add any.

almost skipped deadlift, but got talked out of it.  and felt better for doing them.

 

I'm still frustrated and stressed and cranky.

But 4&5 out of 5 are in the microwave right now, and I worked out today, and I know I'll see some progress if I eat better and keep at it.

[Georges]

Tuesday, 24 March (yesterday)

 

day off from work.

not productive

 

tracked calories today... still not sure it's a good strategy for me.

Step class - went well, felt strong

Yoga - went well.  I can feel my balance starting to improve.

 

got 5/5.

good day overall.

 

 

Wednesday, March 25

 

worked - moderately busy, but not crazy.  Well, not too crazy.

 

worked out

-did not get all my squat reps (with 5lb increase)

-swapped out my 3x5 OHP for 6x5 at 45 lbs.  I should get some fractional plates.  But I haven't.

-deadlift is still at 150 lbs.

 

Started the day tracking w/ mfp.  Already frustrated with it and homemade food.

got 5/5.

 

 

Edit to Add:  I set mfp for a deficit of 250 kcal per day = ~ 1/2 per week.  It's a stupid-low target because I'm tired of missing targets.  Also, I'm still lifting, and I have 3 weeks of Rx level Vitamin D and then a follow up test for that and iron. 

 

mfp numbers: 

Tuesday - 622 below target

Wednesday - 439 above target

2-Day Average - 91.5 below target

 

I know my appetite is not consistent from day to day.

I know my appetite fluctuations do not correlate with my daily exercise level.

I should not be feeling frustrated and disappointed about today's eating.

But I am.

I think it's ridiculous that I can weigh myself every day and not feel bad about the numbers,

but I can't seem to use mfp without getting upset about it.

I'll keep at it for a bit and see if it's something I can work out in my head,

because mfp is such a useful tool and I could really benefit from more data.

[Georges]

Thursday, March 26 (yesterday)

 

Worked.  Got some stuff I haven't had time to do done.

Rest day.

Short walk w/Mr.Georges after work.

got 5/5.

 

mfp: Waaaaay over goal on calories.  Friday will have to either be low calorie, or if I'm hungry, higher activity.

 

mfp numbers: 

Tuesday - 622 below target

Wednesday - 439 above target

Thursday - 697 above target

3-Day Average - 171.33 above target

[Georges]

Friday, March 27

 

Worked, which went as well as it can go.

Worked out, which went well also.

-got my squat reps (3x5), should be ready for big kid plates next week (135 is where I was before I had to deload for overtraining/fatigue/form issues).

-got my bench reps (6, 5, 6), wishing for microloading plates, but haven't got any.  Will probably hang out here (85 lbs) for a bit and increase reps/improve form.

-got my deadlifts (5 @ 155).  Wasn't sure I'd get the last one, but I did.

 

finishing my green beans while I update, to get my 5/5

mfp at 576 below target.

4 day average = 15.5 below target.  This is good.

 

Plenty of protein (because I hit the whey isolate a second time today, and a can of salmon), only 21g of fiber (despite all that veg), waaaaay low on iron (but I supplement).

I guess I should eat even more veg for more fiber?  I probably won't, though.  Once I'm running enough to offset calories, I might pick up some cereal.

 

edit to add:  weight still hovering at 168.5lbs

[Georges]

Saturday, March 28

day off from work

treadmilled, that's about it.

got my 5/5, and plenty of protein, and fiber, and even iron.

will edit in mfp later(tomorrow), but was under target (thanks to running)

 

mfp numbers: 

Tuesday - 622 below target

Wednesday - 439 above target

Thursday - 697 above target

Friday - 576 below target

Saturday - 211 below target

5 day average - 54.6 below target

 

 

sadly, did not beer.  I was too tired.

weight finally starting to move?  scale read 167 this morning. 

 

looked at some videos on power clean...

maybe I'm missing some vital point

or

maybe I need to hold off until I have some deltiod muscle meat to rest the bar on

or

maybe my tiny little t-rex arms just aren't going to let me do power cleans.

[Georges]

SundaySundaySunday

March 29

 

AM:

morning weigh in : 166.0   <--probably a bit dehydrated.

 

Real rest day (no work, no workout)

 

still a little bummed out about power cleans, but I'm telling myself that since I'm not yet deadlifting bodyweight, I didn't really need to add them in to my program yet anyway.

 

 

PM:

walked today, because I need to get used to the one-vehicle household thing.  Need to remember to use a backpack for groceries, instead of a tote bag, for ergonomics.

 

made my first try at cooking with whey isolate today.  It did not go well.  I ate it anyway.

 

mfp numbers (assuming I eat the planned dinner, will edit if changes) :

 

Tuesday - 622 below target

Wednesday - 439 above target

Thursday - 697 above target

Friday - 576 below target

Saturday - 211 below target

Sunday- 9 above target

6 day average - 44 below target

 

That'll include 5/5, not quite enough protein, nowhere near enough iron, and 31g fiber.

Although I just looked it over, and I'm having trouble believing that fish has no protein, so I think I used a crappy input (number one thing I hate about mfp... people who only put in the nutritional values that they personally are tracking and then add their food to the user-wide database).  So I should add protein & iron....

looks more like plentylots of protein (more than 1g/lb of goal weight), 61% recommended iron.

 

mfp would work better if I ate more foods with labels on them and less homemade food and fresh produce.  Which doesn't say anything nice about mfp.

 

[Georges]

Monday, March 30, 2015
 
167.5lbs
 
Worked.  First day of new schedule, which for Mondays, means going in an hour earlier than I used to.
Didn't have time to pack food, but got to work on time.  I'm calling it a win.
 
Work out.  New schedule means I had more time before the gym closed.  Hooray!
Squats: work set is 130lbs.  Almost, but not quite, ready to bump it up to 135.
OHP: work set is 55lbs.  But, I got all my reps.  I might go 3 sets of 6 before bumping up weight.
Deadlifts: work set is still at 155lbs, and I was done after 5, but unlike Friday, I had no question about getting all 5.
 
Then, since I had time, I got on the treadmill.  Then, since I still had time, I got on the step machine that no one likes.
 
mfp: (will edit in today at end of day)
Tuesday - 622 below target
Wednesday - 439 above target
Thursday - 697 above target
Friday - 576 below target
Saturday - 211 below target
Sunday - 9 above target
Monday - 19 above target
7 day average - 35 below target
 
also, 5/5

 

yet another edit: I'm asking here if anyone has a better calorie estimate for the step machine.

[Georges]

epiphany of the week:

 

The less georges I am, the less happy I am.

When I moved up here to the middle of nowhere, I didn't introduce myself as georges to anyone.

I wasn't sure how people would react, and there weren't a ton of people with the same first name as mine (which is a part of how I came to be named georges in the first place).

Also, I was afraid people would think I was weird.

Also, Mr.Georges doesn't actually call me georges.

But he's pretty much the only really, really close person who doesn't, and I haven't made any close friends since I moved here.

 

So, maybe I need to do a little thinking about who I was, who I am, who I want to be.  It's long overdue.

[Georges]

Tuesday, 31 March

 

166.5lbs

 

Day off from work.  Mr.Georges had the day off, too. 

 

Step Aerobics & Yoga.  Both went well.  I can feel my back, though.

 

5/5, and despite pizza, stayed under calorie target.

 

mfp:
Wednesday - 439 above target
Thursday - 697 above target
Friday - 576 below target
Saturday - 211 below target
Sunday - 9 above target
Monday - 19 above target

Today - 409 below target

7 day average - 4.57 below target, so pretty much right on.

 

Tomorrow is my first morning workout (due to work schedule change).  We'll see how that goes.