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Hiraedd: Determined and Confident


Hiraedd

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Hi Hiraedd

Wow, where do I start?

First, congrats on seeing a weight number in the 200s... That must have been a real milstone moment for you!

Second, the makeup looks great on you (and kids don't lie either!) So keep on feeling faaaaabulous, honey!

Third, well done for telling that guy to keep his paws to himself. I'm not surprised you felt uncomfortable and big ups for asserting yourself. All the bad things in my life have come about due to not standing up for myself so I'm really glad that you let him know what's on your mind!

And drunken bird deadlifts... Whattttt?! :D

Eirlys - Long Time Wood Fairy Druid

Current Challenge: S4 (Sleep, Sugar, Spending, Son)

 

Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.

-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

 

Done is better than perfect

-- Facebook

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And I agree, AB.  Smoky eyes are tricky, and I'm not sure I really like them either, but it does feel a little less conspicuous with practice.  Not that they look conspicuous in the least -- they really suit your eyes! :)

Yeah it's not that i don't think they look great on you (and other people), i just prefer a more natural look on myself.  But cos i said i would try at least once a week with you, i will keep at it :)

 

 

Feeling moderately better today, although that could just be the painkillers talking...hopefully another night of good sleep will see me through to feeling all the way better!  I parked farther than yesterday, but not all the way out where I was in case I couldn't make it out there at the end of the day :)  Tracked my food and am once again easily in reach of the protein goal.  So nothing earth shattering either way, but solidity in the face of quasi-illness works for me!

glad you're feeling better and that you're on track with your macros and protein.  It doesn't have to be earth shattering to be good ;)

Half Faerie (Sidhe) Scout | Black Belt Kitchen Ninja
"A positive attitude will not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort" - Herm Albright
You're welcome to skype me (audriwolf) too but let me know who you are

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Subbed.

You didn't think I would stay away, did you?

love & peace,

Heidi

&Heidi

Gypsy Druid Paladin

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Hope you have a great weekend!  I see you've made the assassin's "most wanted"... (imagines posters pinned around the town!)

Eirlys - Long Time Wood Fairy Druid

Current Challenge: S4 (Sleep, Sugar, Spending, Son)

 

Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.

-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

 

Done is better than perfect

-- Facebook

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Hiraedd, I am SO proud of you for talking with your coworker! How he reacts is up to him, but standing up for yourself and being clear about what you want and expect--totally up to you, and you DID IT! It will never be as hard again, I guarantee it! Brava!

Human Ranger, Level 10
Long-term Goal: Hike WA section of Pacific Crest Trail, August 2014

Current Challenge | Facebook (personal & locavore) | Blog | Twitter

"You stand at the verge, and you could become anything." - Dan Chaon

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Hi Hiraedd, long time no see!  You are ROCKING your challenge, and your life from what I gather!  Congrats on everything - the epic workouts, the weight loss, the confrontation... everything!  I'm subscribed, and I'll be popping back in to watch the awesomeness.  You go!

Thanks, Draco!  I know I said it before, but I am super glad to have you back.  Yeah, my life has gone through lots of changes over the past year, and I couldn't be happier with my progress as a whole person.  Although those damn real pushups are still eluding me...:)

 

Hira!!

Wow you've done so many awesome things!!

Glad to hear about you and your co-worker, the workouts (really, you inspired so much on doing new moves) and your make-up totally lovely! You look so beautiful with that smile :)

And that NF shirt... I know that feeling! XD

My smile is one of my favourite things about myself :)  And I love how the new moves make me feel like I'm making progress, even though I'm still such a beginner.

 

Hi Hiraedd Wow, where do I start? First, congrats on seeing a weight number in the 200s... That must have been a real milstone moment for you! Second, the makeup looks great on you (and kids don't lie either!) So keep on feeling faaaaabulous, honey! Third, well done for telling that guy to keep his paws to himself. I'm not surprised you felt uncomfortable and big ups for asserting yourself. All the bad things in my life have come about due to not standing up for myself so I'm really glad that you let him know what's on your mind! And drunken bird deadlifts... Whattttt?! :D

Squee!  I know, right?  I was so excited, and continue to be everytime I see numbers like that on the scale.  And I AM super proud of myself for standing up for myself -- after coming out of an abusive marriage, I wasn't sure I'd ever stand up for myself again.  I have been so excited to prove myself wrong!  

 

Also, drunken bird deadlifts look like these....except imagine your knees are all wobbly from too many exercises that use them!

 

Yeah it's not that i don't think they look great on you (and other people), i just prefer a more natural look on myself.  But cos i said i would try at least once a week with you, i will keep at it :)

 

 

glad you're feeling better and that you're on track with your macros and protein.  It doesn't have to be earth shattering to be good ;)

I prefer myself with a more natural look, too, but it doesn't photograph well.  :)  I won't have another picture until this weekend, and this time it should be of some of the pin-up style makeup.  I even bought red lipstick for the occasion, and already lost it. *rolls eyes*  Once I practice that 4 times, the t-shirt is mine!  Mine, I tell you!  Muahahahaha!

 

Subbed. You didn't think I would stay away, did you? love & peace, Heidi

HEIDI!!!  Oh my goodness I am so excited to see you!  Must. find. thread. immediately.

 

 

Hope you have a great weekend!  I see you've made the assassin's "most wanted"... (imagines posters pinned around the town!)

I did have a great weekend, if not a terribly productive one :D  And l was super excited to see my poster!  Such a neat way of celebrating accomplishments.  I feel like i want it printed out for real and hung in my room.

 

BIG congratulations on the under 300 lb achievement, Hiraedd! That's fantastic!

Thank you!  Woot woot!

 

Hiraedd, I am SO proud of you for talking with your coworker! How he reacts is up to him, but standing up for yourself and being clear about what you want and expect--totally up to you, and you DID IT! It will never be as hard again, I guarantee it! Brava!

Thanks, Pallas!  And you're right; I think it will get easier.  For the first time I am hopeful about that!

Hiraedd the Twice Risen:

Hamadryad; Pilgrim

battle log

 

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The good things about my weekend:

  • awesome relationship building with the girls in my group
  • lots of fun
  • went kayaking for the first time ever!
  • managed to come out of it no sicker than I began it

The not so great things about my weekend:

  • I had no control over the food, and it was mostly stuff I couldn't eat (I did have some protein supplements with me, but it's just not the same as having meat and veggies at every meal)

Overall, I'd call that a win.  I went on a weekend retreat with our youth group, and it was an amazing fun time.  It was very physical, though, involving lots of walking, running, game playing (soccer, basketball, capture the flag), and as I said above kayaking!  I was careful not to overdo it and still managed to participate in most of the things, which is great....but also means no workout this weekend, as I can't afford to push it too far.  I'm a little disappointed about that, but hopefully next weekend I'll get another smash down drag 'em out workout in.

 

Now I need to tuck myself into bed (once I put my laundry for tomorrow into the dryer) and get some well deserved rest.

Hiraedd the Twice Risen:

Hamadryad; Pilgrim

battle log

 

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I prefer myself with a more natural look, too, but it doesn't photograph well.   :)  I won't have another picture until this weekend, and this time it should be of some of the pin-up style makeup.  I even bought red lipstick for the occasion, and already lost it. *rolls eyes*  Once I practice that 4 times, the t-shirt is mine!  Mine, I tell you!  Muahahahaha!

hahaha, yeah.  I'm lucky in that i have lovely long lashes (even if they're blonde at the tips), so usually just a lick of mascara helps :)  But as promised here is my week 2 offering:

wK79xocs.jpg

I used a slightly more natural combination of colours - pearl, coral and brown.  Looks ok i guess :)  I'm looking forward to the pinup look *goes in search of your red lipstick*

 

The good things about my weekend:

  • awesome relationship building with the girls in my group
  • lots of fun
  • went kayaking for the first time ever!
  • managed to come out of it no sicker than I began it

The not so great things about my weekend:

  • I had no control over the food, and it was mostly stuff I couldn't eat (I did have some protein supplements with me, but it's just not the same as having meat and veggies at every meal)

Overall, I'd call that a win.  I went on a weekend retreat with our youth group, and it was an amazing fun time.  It was very physical, though, involving lots of walking, running, game playing (soccer, basketball, capture the flag), and as I said above kayaking!  I was careful not to overdo it and still managed to participate in most of the things, which is great....but also means no workout this weekend, as I can't afford to push it too far.  I'm a little disappointed about that, but hopefully next weekend I'll get another smash down drag 'em out workout in.

 

Now I need to tuck myself into bed (once I put my laundry for tomorrow into the dryer) and get some well deserved rest.

your weekend sounds like it was awesome.  Also when I did bootcamp we'd play soccer at least once in a 4 week cycle because of how taxing it was - i would not consider your weekend of gaming anything less than a heavy workout.  Bet your arms were sore from kayaking and your legs hating you from the soccer :)

 

Have a good week.

Half Faerie (Sidhe) Scout | Black Belt Kitchen Ninja
"A positive attitude will not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort" - Herm Albright
You're welcome to skype me (audriwolf) too but let me know who you are

My challenge

 

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It was very physical, though, involving lots of walking, running, game playing (soccer, basketball, capture the flag), and as I said above kayaking!  I was careful not to overdo it and still managed to participate in most of the things, which is great....but also means no workout this weekend, as I can't afford to push it too far.

 

No offense, but that IS a workout.  Sounds like a pretty good one, at that!

Current challenge: Draco Used to Be an Adventurer Like You....


Previous challenge: Draco Returns for a New Adventure


Level 3 Half-Elf Adventurer


6.25 STR | 4 DEX | 6 STA | 4.5 CON | 5.5 WIS | 4.5 CHA


 


“I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.â€


― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

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Chaos in my world again: How does my ex always manage to do that?  Really just struggling tonight -- angry at him, for basically telling me I have to right to say no to allowing him to take her to Mexico, the dominican, or the carribean, and trying to play dumb about why I don't trust him, and angry at me because I made a stupid mistake and said no to a vaccine he previously told me he didn't want her to take without actually asking him and apparently now I have "violated the court order".  @#$%#@#$$.  And a few other choice characters as well.  I'm sure I'll get a handle on it in a day or so, but right now I'm just upset.  Upset and I need to vent.  So here I am, venting. @#$$##@#$ I hate it when I mess up.  I try so damn hard to do everything right, and everytime I screw up I undermine any tiny thing I've built.  Now I'm going to look really stupid objecting to the travel, because one of the things I don't trust him for is one of the things I've just gone and done, albeit accidentally.  @#$%%$####@#$.  If I wasn't so @#$$# stupid I'd at least have a leg to stand on.  But the truth is I DON'T trust him, and I have the right to not trust him, and to not agree to the travel if I think it's unreasonable, and....and I don't know.  I'm just a mess at this moment.  If I hadn't JUST screwed up, I'd be in a much better position to stand up to him.  And I want to stand up for myself, for our daughter.  I want to keep her safe.  I want her to stay within the bounds of a country that respects paperwork and laws and stuff.  And....and....and...I don't know anymore.  Just bah humbug on it all.

 

A few extra hugs would be appreciated: I'll need them while I figure out what to do.

Hiraedd the Twice Risen:

Hamadryad; Pilgrim

battle log

 

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He's a poopoo head. ... you are awesome. ... I understand the stupid ex thing.... praying for you girl cuz you got this!

Sent with tapatalk... if this post seems brief or full of misspelled words it's because my phone and autocorrect are actively plotting against me

Level 10.4 Wood-Elf, Ranger - specializing in demon fighting

"doing the impossible since 2012 :D" - Librarian of Doom

facebook battle log level 50 WOOT   Backstory CNF2014  current (not challenge - doing a battle log this time)

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* This is the day the Lord has made, rejoice in it and be glad. God, The Bible. * Do or do not, there is no try. - Yoda
* There are three options in this life; be good, get good, or give up. -- House * Never take counsel of your fears. Stonewall Jackson. 

* level 50 isn't gonna just POOF happen - alienjenn, NF IRC chatroom

 

* I'm not about to give up - Because I heard you say - There's gonna be brighter days… I won't stop, I'll keep my head up - No, I'm not here to stay ...  - 

 I just might bend but I won't break - As long as I can see your face - When life won't play along - And right keeps going wrong - And I can't seem to find my way - I know where I am found - So I won't let it drag me down - Oh, I'll keep dancing anyway - Mercy Me - Move

 

 

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Thanks, Jenn.  Extra prayers definitely helping. :)

 

With a couple of hour's perspective I have calmed down somewhat and realized that it's okay that I made a mistake.  I am, after all, human, and that's what people do.  They make mistakes, they apologize, they forgive themselves, and they move on.  There's no use in beating myself up over it.  Also, since people mess up all the time, it's not logical grounds for backing down on standing up for what I think is best for my daughter.  Yes, it may make the conversation less pleasant, but although my small omission by accident was wrong, it was by no means equal to the deliberate not-following of the agreement that he does.  It's still okay for me to stand up for me and munchkin, even if I made a mistake.  Whew!  That's one hurdle dealt with.  Now just the rest of this mess....but I'll get my head around that, too.  Once I can reframe things I generally am able to cope with them.  I just need to get my head space right.  Which I'll try...after [hopefully] some sleep.

Hiraedd the Twice Risen:

Hamadryad; Pilgrim

battle log

 

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Good for you, Hiraedd, for talking yourself down from beating up on yourself. It's an extremely complicated situation, you're not a lawyer and probably don't think like one, and of course there will be mistakes. You wisely and skillfully calmed yourself to the point where you could realize that. Brava, Hiraedd! Those are skills a whole lot of people never learn.

Human Ranger, Level 10
Long-term Goal: Hike WA section of Pacific Crest Trail, August 2014

Current Challenge | Facebook (personal & locavore) | Blog | Twitter

"You stand at the verge, and you could become anything." - Dan Chaon

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I'm praying for you Hiraedd.

Years ago, someone used the treat of calling child protective services against my family for no valid reason (my wife being physically disabled does not make "leaving the kids with her" neglect - needing occasional support is not the same as needing 24 hour care - and the woman who threatened it was subsequently fired) - but I know how the mind races when anything threatens the kids.

Several hours perspective, and you can type calmly? You're stronger than you think you are.

And my heart and prayers are with you today.

Current challenge: Draco Used to Be an Adventurer Like You....


Previous challenge: Draco Returns for a New Adventure


Level 3 Half-Elf Adventurer


6.25 STR | 4 DEX | 6 STA | 4.5 CON | 5.5 WIS | 4.5 CHA


 


“I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.â€


― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

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Good for you, Hiraedd, for talking yourself down from beating up on yourself. It's an extremely complicated situation, you're not a lawyer and probably don't think like one, and of course there will be mistakes. You wisely and skillfully calmed yourself to the point where you could realize that. Brava, Hiraedd! Those are skills a whole lot of people never learn.

Thanks, Pallas!  You're right; I'm not a lawyer.  I will have to put that on my list of things to remember about myself. 

 

As for the skills, they're actually the ones that I have for my health and fitness.  I learned to be gentle with myself, to forgive, and not beat myself up over what could have been.  Last night in the middle of my "rage-quit" mood I realized that it didn't have to be like that, and I was able to apply the knowledge that I've gained here at NF to level up my attitude towards me.

 

I'm praying for you Hiraedd.

Years ago, someone used the treat of calling child protective services against my family for no valid reason (my wife being physically disabled does not make "leaving the kids with her" neglect - needing occasional support is not the same as needing 24 hour care - and the woman who threatened it was subsequently fired) - but I know how the mind races when anything threatens the kids.

Several hours perspective, and you can type calmly? You're stronger than you think you are.

And my heart and prayers are with you today.

Thanks, Draco.  It IS tough when someone threatens your kid; it brings out the mama bear in me.  And I'm learning, very very slowly, but I'm learning.  I'm determined not to let him run me, and one of these days that will actually be true.  I'm not as strong as I'd like to be, but I'm getting stronger all the time.

 

And I am 100% positive that all the extra prayers were helping with the calm.  Thank you!

Hiraedd the Twice Risen:

Hamadryad; Pilgrim

battle log

 

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So extremely tired and not much of an appetite today, but I have been somewhat forcing myself to eat, since I'm not about to let this situation make me not take care of myself; I definitely love myself and my munchkin more than that.  It was a long day at work, especially since there was a lock-down because a child predator known for taking children off playgrounds escaped and his last known whereabouts were in our city, just a few blocks from our school.  All the kids had to stay in, nobody could walk home, everyone had to be signed in and out, etc.  Stressful.  Thankfully, everyone left safely in appropriate care at the end of the day, so at least that's that.  And yeah...life goes on.  I'm not sure what tonight holds, but hopefully some peace and rest.

Hiraedd the Twice Risen:

Hamadryad; Pilgrim

battle log

 

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I believe that tonight offers peace and rest

 

I agree with you

 

 

there's power in agreement

Level 10.4 Wood-Elf, Ranger - specializing in demon fighting

"doing the impossible since 2012 :D" - Librarian of Doom

facebook battle log level 50 WOOT   Backstory CNF2014  current (not challenge - doing a battle log this time)

Spoiler

 

* This is the day the Lord has made, rejoice in it and be glad. God, The Bible. * Do or do not, there is no try. - Yoda
* There are three options in this life; be good, get good, or give up. -- House * Never take counsel of your fears. Stonewall Jackson. 

* level 50 isn't gonna just POOF happen - alienjenn, NF IRC chatroom

 

* I'm not about to give up - Because I heard you say - There's gonna be brighter days… I won't stop, I'll keep my head up - No, I'm not here to stay ...  - 

 I just might bend but I won't break - As long as I can see your face - When life won't play along - And right keeps going wrong - And I can't seem to find my way - I know where I am found - So I won't let it drag me down - Oh, I'll keep dancing anyway - Mercy Me - Move

 

 

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Thanks, Jenn.  Extra prayers definitely helping. :)

 

With a couple of hour's perspective I have calmed down somewhat and realized that it's okay that I made a mistake.  I am, after all, human, and that's what people do.  They make mistakes, they apologize, they forgive themselves, and they move on.  There's no use in beating myself up over it.  Also, since people mess up all the time, it's not logical grounds for backing down on standing up for what I think is best for my daughter.  Yes, it may make the conversation less pleasant, but although my small omission by accident was wrong, it was by no means equal to the deliberate not-following of the agreement that he does.  It's still okay for me to stand up for me and munchkin, even if I made a mistake.  Whew!  That's one hurdle dealt with.  Now just the rest of this mess....but I'll get my head around that, too.  Once I can reframe things I generally am able to cope with them.  I just need to get my head space right.  Which I'll try...after [hopefully] some sleep.

No...I'm sure that if you are not walk-on-water perfect he has a get-out-of-jail-free card on all of his behavior. 

 

I alway do the same thing - obsess about any mistake I made and I'm sure if anything goes wrong in a situation its me.  I'm so proud of you for snapping out of it after only 1 hour.  Protect you.  Protect your daughter.  BIG HUG.

The hardest part of the workout is lacing up your shoes'"


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Wow Hira.  I'm sorry to hear about the stress you've been under because of your ex - he really does have a knack of trying to bring you down when you're feeling good about yourself.  As for law, chat to your family lawyer (or a social worker) and find out if there's a way you can apply for an injunction to stop him from being able to travel with munchkin to non-extradition countries. I have mentioned this before but you should investigate whether as her mother you can put a block on her passport for travel to those countries.

 

You're a mother and your natural instinct is to automatically fight when you feel your child's safety is at risk - it's basic instinct, and most creatures have it - so don't worry that you almost rage quit on things.  The fact that you didn't is most certainly a testament to how far you've come though and i'm super thrilled to see that :)  I remember how packing up your things a few months back and getting things ready for munchkin's last travel, had you in cold sweats!  YOU ARE @!#&*^@#) AWESOME!!!!

 

Keep being kind to yourself, because you ARE worth it!

 

bajillion cyber hugs and tons of prayers.

Half Faerie (Sidhe) Scout | Black Belt Kitchen Ninja
"A positive attitude will not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort" - Herm Albright
You're welcome to skype me (audriwolf) too but let me know who you are

My challenge

 

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I believe that tonight offers peace and rest

 

I agree with you

 

 

there's power in agreement

Thanks, Jenn.  Your support means a lot :)

 

No...I'm sure that if you are not walk-on-water perfect he has a get-out-of-jail-free card on all of his behavior. 

 

I alway do the same thing - obsess about any mistake I made and I'm sure if anything goes wrong in a situation its me.  I'm so proud of you for snapping out of it after only 1 hour.  Protect you.  Protect your daughter.  BIG HUG.

LOL -- that phrase is perfect!  Thank you for helping me put that into even better perspective!  And I AM going to look after both of us.

 

Thanks for the hugs -- I'm definitely running short this week!

 

Wow Hira.  I'm sorry to hear about the stress you've been under because of your ex - he really does have a knack of trying to bring you down when you're feeling good about yourself.  As for law, chat to your family lawyer (or a social worker) and find out if there's a way you can apply for an injunction to stop him from being able to travel with munchkin to non-extradition countries. I have mentioned this before but you should investigate whether as her mother you can put a block on her passport for travel to those countries.

 

You're a mother and your natural instinct is to automatically fight when you feel your child's safety is at risk - it's basic instinct, and most creatures have it - so don't worry that you almost rage quit on things.  The fact that you didn't is most certainly a testament to how far you've come though and i'm super thrilled to see that :)  I remember how packing up your things a few months back and getting things ready for munchkin's last travel, had you in cold sweats!  YOU ARE @!#&*^@#) AWESOME!!!!

 

Keep being kind to yourself, because you ARE worth it!

 

bajillion cyber hugs and tons of prayers.

The phrase "any country not party to the Hague Convention" (or something like that) is in our agreement; unfortunately I don't believe that Mexico, the Caribbean, or Dominican Republic fall into the category of "non-extradition".  They are simply (as far as I know) not overly concerned with enforcing their own laws. EDIT: apparently the Carribbean isn't on the Hague list, so that ones so far out it's more than completely out.  Thanks for the roundabout reminder to check that out.

 

I *have* come a very long way in the past year; even the fact that I can function this week with the situation hanging over me is huge.  All of you have been instrumental in that growth process, and I cannot even begin to tell you all what your support means to me.  Having all these great things to read about myself over and over again fills tiny cracks deep down in my personal foundation and helps my world stop shaking so much.  I really, truly, love and appreciate you all.

 

I slept very well last night, and am headed to sleep shortly.  I haven't typed up my response, but I'm pretty sure I know what I want to say now, which is to basically explain that I don't trust the countries, and to state that he knows why I don't trust him, but that if he's willing to work on that lack of trust (as the last judge suggested he do) then I would welcome the opportunity to discuss it with him.  I am also considering reminding him that if he actually respected my opinion (as he stated) then he would show it by not pursuing this any further, but I think that statement might just be inflammatory.  Lots more thought required, but at least I can think!  Usually these things paralyze me for weeks!  And maybe one day, they won't paralyze me at all.  Here's working towards that freedom to just be.

 

Goal wise, I've practiced my makeup twice this week.  Still not happy with the liquid eyeliner -- that stuff is difficult to work with and terribly unforgiving.  Also, I don't care for me in the red lipstick I bought.  (It's called Fatal Apple, which I thought was great for an assassin, but apparently not).  I look better in a more wine toned red, so I may have to go looking for another colour.  I'm also not convinced the "pin-up" look is for me.  It feels very....someone else.  Or maybe SUPER dressed up-ish.  But not something I think I'll have use for.  But the practice is fun, so....whatever.  It's also a fun time to practice some of my phrases :).

 

I've also walked all three days so far this week.  Today was interesting because I stopped for coffee....and then tried to carry my purse (which is more of a handbag, no true shoulder strap), my lunch kit (which is an old suitcase, so no shoulder strap), my coffee, and an umbrella.  I got it done, though.

 

Work is still in lockdown because the predator is still at large...the kids are starting to go squirrelly, though, so I'm not sure how much more of it they (or we) can take.  Hopefully they catch him soon, and life can return to normal.

 

And that's it for me tonight.  Off to sleep the sleep of the just.  Catcha all on the flip side!

Hiraedd the Twice Risen:

Hamadryad; Pilgrim

battle log

 

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Hira? No... Hero.

It's not being perfect that makes us heroic - mistakes are inevitable. It's what we do once those mistakes are behind us. And it looks like you've got that part down! :)

I don't know all that's happened this past year, but you've managed through everything to find the center amidst the storm, to anchor yourself and your munchkin in times of trouble, and to basically just bite into the chewy center of life. Straight. Up. Heroic.

Current challenge: Draco Used to Be an Adventurer Like You....


Previous challenge: Draco Returns for a New Adventure


Level 3 Half-Elf Adventurer


6.25 STR | 4 DEX | 6 STA | 4.5 CON | 5.5 WIS | 4.5 CHA


 


“I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.â€


― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

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Hira? No... Hero.

It's not being perfect that makes us heroic - mistakes are inevitable. It's what we do once those mistakes are behind us. And it looks like you've got that part down! :)

I don't know all that's happened this past year, but you've managed through everything to find the center amidst the storm, to anchor yourself and your munchkin in times of trouble, and to basically just bite into the chewy center of life. Straight. Up. Heroic.

Thanks, Draco.  I like that a lot!   :)  I need all these "remembers" of how others see me to help me learn who I am now until I believe it all the way deep down inside.  

 

 

I'm having a great night!  Why?  Why not?

 

Oh right, because I panicked about having my small group over tonight because I'm insecure about cooking for others and my ability to present a nice looking home [neither of which I actually NEED to be concerned about, but apparently old wounds die hard].  Or because my supervisor today thought that the 5 minutes I spent out of the class with another student at the teacher's request somehow constituted not looking after my own students, who the teacher was working with.  Or because it was rainy and I forgot my umbrella.

 

But you know what? None of that stuff matters.  I splashed in the puddles and had great fun in the rain on my walk.  I am a great EA who pours her heart and soul into kids, and if my supervisor can't see that then that's too bad for her.  I had a GREAT time with my small group girls; alternately silly and deep, which is just perfect, especially when you consider that they're in grade 8.  I felt comfortable having them in my home.  They enjoyed my food (Balsamic Soy Chicken, Roasted Butternut Squash....mmmm), and when they left I was in the perfect frame of mind to tackle my first draft of the letter to my ex about the latest chaos. (Also, Blaidd, I owe you more than you know.  Your comment about non-extradition countries lead me to research that helped coalesce the entire letter.)  I will let it rest a day or two now, maybe get another opinion on it, and then do a quick revision before I hand it over on Sunday....but the worst of it is done -- or should I say the best?  I think I've managed to put a calm, collected, factual, reasonable rebuttal together, and it feels just like standing up to my co-worker did (once it was done); calm and satisfying.  Like I can breathe again.

 

So I feel fantastic.   :D  Am looking forward to an amazing sleep....and just maybe being well enough to do a workout this weekend.

 

Hugs.

Hiraedd the Twice Risen:

Hamadryad; Pilgrim

battle log

 

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there was so much awesome in that post!!  Hira, you're such a loving and caring person that i am not even remotely surprised that your small group loved being in your home (which i have come to realise is the centre of your "love" base).  I'm just plain jelly of them now :)

 

This is the first time i've seen you stand up to your ex with the calm confidence i've always known has been lurking below the surface.  You've always had it and i'm sure you were more vocal about it earlier in your life (when you first met him), but i'm glad to see it surface now.  He's going to be quaking in his boots soon :) You're such a hero, Hira.  I admire you so much!! xxx

Half Faerie (Sidhe) Scout | Black Belt Kitchen Ninja
"A positive attitude will not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort" - Herm Albright
You're welcome to skype me (audriwolf) too but let me know who you are

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