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Hiraedd: Determined and Confident


Hiraedd

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Hi Hira

Sorry to hear the stress your ex has been putting you through, and although it's a bit late in the day, have some extra *hugs*

You sound like a great asset to any class, and if you're enjoying your work with young people then that's almost all that matters.

Hope you have a fab weekend xx

Eirlys - Long Time Wood Fairy Druid

Current Challenge: S4 (Sleep, Sugar, Spending, Son)

 

Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.

-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

 

Done is better than perfect

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Hira :)

 

 

So I feel fantastic.

 

 

 

this is awesome... you whole train of thought...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

you are ROCTSTAR

531586623_o.jpg

 

you need these :D

Level 10.4 Wood-Elf, Ranger - specializing in demon fighting

"doing the impossible since 2012 :D" - Librarian of Doom

facebook battle log level 50 WOOT   Backstory CNF2014  current (not challenge - doing a battle log this time)

Spoiler

 

* This is the day the Lord has made, rejoice in it and be glad. God, The Bible. * Do or do not, there is no try. - Yoda
* There are three options in this life; be good, get good, or give up. -- House * Never take counsel of your fears. Stonewall Jackson. 

* level 50 isn't gonna just POOF happen - alienjenn, NF IRC chatroom

 

* I'm not about to give up - Because I heard you say - There's gonna be brighter days… I won't stop, I'll keep my head up - No, I'm not here to stay ...  - 

 I just might bend but I won't break - As long as I can see your face - When life won't play along - And right keeps going wrong - And I can't seem to find my way - I know where I am found - So I won't let it drag me down - Oh, I'll keep dancing anyway - Mercy Me - Move

 

 

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there was so much awesome in that post!!  Hira, you're such a loving and caring person that i am not even remotely surprised that your small group loved being in your home (which i have come to realise is the centre of your "love" base).  I'm just plain jelly of them now :)

 

This is the first time i've seen you stand up to your ex with the calm confidence i've always known has been lurking below the surface.  You've always had it and i'm sure you were more vocal about it earlier in your life (when you first met him), but i'm glad to see it surface now.  He's going to be quaking in his boots soon :) You're such a hero, Hira.  I admire you so much!! xxx

You're welcome to come crash anytime, Blaidd.  Just give me a little warning so I can make sure there's a spare bed, otherwise it'll just be a couch :)

 

I doubt the letter will make him quake; it'll probably just make him mad, and I'm sure that he'll find something to argue about in it, but for the first time I feel like I'm responding instead of arguing, and that makes me feel free.  Tune in next week for more ups and downs I'm sure!  

 

And it's definitely a mutual admiration society :)

 

Hi Hira Sorry to hear the stress your ex has been putting you through, and although it's a bit late in the day, have some extra *hugs* You sound like a great asset to any class, and if you're enjoying your work with young people then that's almost all that matters. Hope you have a fab weekend xx

Thanks, E!  I can always use the extra hugs, especially when munchkin is away.  I'm sorry I have to go through it too, but I'm trying to forgive myself for getting into it in the first place.  I absolutely LOVE helping people (of almost any age) figure things out, although I'll admit kindergarten stretches me a little thin, and preschool is pretty much right out.  But mostly teachers have expressed that having me in their class is like having a team teacher, so I'm obviously doing something right!  And so far my weekend looks great :)

 

Hira :)

this is awesome... you whole train of thought...

you are ROCTSTAR

 

you need these :D

It takes one to know one, Jenn!  And I DO need those -- how did you know?  They'll play off my spiderman toque quite nicely. :D  And while my ex may object to parts of my letter, and I'm sure he'll find ways to attack it or try to tear it apart, the truth is that it takes a grown up to rise above the pettiness and just lay things out without anger or blame.  I'm doing that, and I have every reason to feel great about it.  I'm finally growing up!

 

Reasons that today was great:

  1.  A co-worker brought me a surprise "just because" latte today.  How nice was that?
  2.  I got to reward an often missing student for 5 days in a row of attendance!  
  3. To wrap up the day I got to make a leaf painting -- the teacher let me do the craft with the kids; how fun is that?  
  4. Tonight was a food drive for our local men's shelter, and we brought in almost 10 carts full of food.  
  5. My 10 day average weight is below 300 pounds.  That's right: I've lost 64 FREAKING POUNDS SO FAR, and I have officially kissed the 300's goodbye.  Hello 200's and less, I'm here to stay.
  6. Oh, and I wore my new size 20 jeans to work today!  I wore a size 28 when I started losing weight 14 months ago, and a size 32 when I was at my heaviest.
  7. I have officially started planning my goals for next challenge already.

Don't know if I'll get in a workout tomorrow with all the things I have to accomplish, but we'll see.  Fingers crossed!

Hiraedd the Twice Risen:

Hamadryad; Pilgrim

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It takes one to know one, Jenn!  And I DO need those -- how did you know?  They'll play off my spiderman toque quite nicely. :D  And while my ex may object to parts of my letter, and I'm sure he'll find ways to attack it or try to tear it apart, the truth is that it takes a grown up to rise above the pettiness and just lay things out without anger or blame.  I'm doing that, and I have every reason to feel great about it.  I'm finally growing up!

 

Reasons that today was great:

 

 

 

well... I knew you needed them because... you said it ... takes one to know one!!! although I did have to google "spiderman toque"

 

 

who gives a damn what he objects to...

 

 

I don't...

 

 

 

he is a poopoo face... and you are trying to do what's best for the two most important people in the multiverse... you and your daughter

Level 10.4 Wood-Elf, Ranger - specializing in demon fighting

"doing the impossible since 2012 :D" - Librarian of Doom

facebook battle log level 50 WOOT   Backstory CNF2014  current (not challenge - doing a battle log this time)

Spoiler

 

* This is the day the Lord has made, rejoice in it and be glad. God, The Bible. * Do or do not, there is no try. - Yoda
* There are three options in this life; be good, get good, or give up. -- House * Never take counsel of your fears. Stonewall Jackson. 

* level 50 isn't gonna just POOF happen - alienjenn, NF IRC chatroom

 

* I'm not about to give up - Because I heard you say - There's gonna be brighter days… I won't stop, I'll keep my head up - No, I'm not here to stay ...  - 

 I just might bend but I won't break - As long as I can see your face - When life won't play along - And right keeps going wrong - And I can't seem to find my way - I know where I am found - So I won't let it drag me down - Oh, I'll keep dancing anyway - Mercy Me - Move

 

 

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:D  Jenn, I'm working on not giving a damn, but I still apparently give a small one.  :)  I will be giving him the letter tomorrow and am a teeny bit anxious now, but I guess that will have to do.   I just have to keep reminding myself that I can handle this.  I've done my absolute best, and that's all I can do.

 

Instead of a workout today I did some physical labour -- preparing the yard for winter.  Taking down our temporary workroom from the summer (a kind of tent/shed so that we could do projects even when it is raining), organizing the shed that was left, carrying all the tools and paint and....sigh.  I am tired now, but just tired enough to not want to do anything, not tired enough to actually sleep.  Have to finish munchkin's bed tomorrow so she can sleep in it tomorrow night, and so that my niece and nephew can be in a room that's not a construction zone when they visit next week.

 

Hope things are all good in your worlds!

Hiraedd the Twice Risen:

Hamadryad; Pilgrim

battle log

 

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you got this

 

 

 

and we got you

Level 10.4 Wood-Elf, Ranger - specializing in demon fighting

"doing the impossible since 2012 :D" - Librarian of Doom

facebook battle log level 50 WOOT   Backstory CNF2014  current (not challenge - doing a battle log this time)

Spoiler

 

* This is the day the Lord has made, rejoice in it and be glad. God, The Bible. * Do or do not, there is no try. - Yoda
* There are three options in this life; be good, get good, or give up. -- House * Never take counsel of your fears. Stonewall Jackson. 

* level 50 isn't gonna just POOF happen - alienjenn, NF IRC chatroom

 

* I'm not about to give up - Because I heard you say - There's gonna be brighter days… I won't stop, I'll keep my head up - No, I'm not here to stay ...  - 

 I just might bend but I won't break - As long as I can see your face - When life won't play along - And right keeps going wrong - And I can't seem to find my way - I know where I am found - So I won't let it drag me down - Oh, I'll keep dancing anyway - Mercy Me - Move

 

 

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Thanks, Jenn!

 

Well, I did it.  I sent the letter off today (via someone else who dropped it off, since I was in a meeting during pickup munchkin time).  It's out there.  Officially, I have stood up, and we'll see what the fallout is from it.

 

Spent some extra time with a friend today who's having a rough go of things with her hubby lately.  It's interesting to see it from another side, and a bit strange to be the one offering support instead of asking for it, but it was good to just be able to love on her and let her know that there are better things ahead.

 

WEEK SUMMARY

 

walk - 4/4

workout - physical labour instead, again. :)

macros - fat - 5/7.  Tracked every day, hit my fat target 5 of the days, and things are going really well in the I'm-feeling-great-because-I'm-eating-well area.

confident - A+  Stood up for myself in this letter, in a grown up, respectful sort of way.  I am proud of me!

Courageous (makeup) - only 2 practices left and the shirt is mine to wear!

 

So overall really good.  I'm loving the place I'm at in my life right now, bumps and all.  The bumps are good for reminding me that they don't tip me over anymore; I just notice them.  One of these days I'm going to have built up such great shocks that my life is going to ride smooth like a luxury car, despite the things that come in my path.

Hiraedd the Twice Risen:

Hamadryad; Pilgrim

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my mom always says "we weebles wobble but we don't fall down!!!"

 

 

:) bumps can be nice :D

Level 10.4 Wood-Elf, Ranger - specializing in demon fighting

"doing the impossible since 2012 :D" - Librarian of Doom

facebook battle log level 50 WOOT   Backstory CNF2014  current (not challenge - doing a battle log this time)

Spoiler

 

* This is the day the Lord has made, rejoice in it and be glad. God, The Bible. * Do or do not, there is no try. - Yoda
* There are three options in this life; be good, get good, or give up. -- House * Never take counsel of your fears. Stonewall Jackson. 

* level 50 isn't gonna just POOF happen - alienjenn, NF IRC chatroom

 

* I'm not about to give up - Because I heard you say - There's gonna be brighter days… I won't stop, I'll keep my head up - No, I'm not here to stay ...  - 

 I just might bend but I won't break - As long as I can see your face - When life won't play along - And right keeps going wrong - And I can't seem to find my way - I know where I am found - So I won't let it drag me down - Oh, I'll keep dancing anyway - Mercy Me - Move

 

 

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Hira, I don't even know how to emphasize to you enough how much I admire the way you are managing this latest situation with your ex. And I love your success stories with your classroom work! I hope the lockdown is over very soon for you.

 

Just in case you might be interested, I thought I'd share a technique I used to teach when I worked as a mental health counselor. When someone would come to me with a relationship problem where they had great difficulty communicating with the other person, I would suggest a visualization exercise for them. I would ask them to imagine a chasm of whatever size felt appropriate to them (sometimes it was the Grand Canyon) between themselves and the other person. Then, as they imagined looking at the person on the other side, I would ask them to start visualizing creating a bridge toward the other person, and to watch and see what happened. The goal was not to try to see themselves going to the other side, but to see if they could imagine meeting the other person in the middle of a bridge over the chasm.

 

Usually the exercise was a process. Sometimes they could complete it quickly, but more often it would take a few weeks or even months. However, every single time--even with no direct real life contact--by the time they saw themselves meeting in the middle the relationship had changed dramatically in terms of tension disappearing. It was literally like magic.

 

As an example, one client struggling with a child custody situation called me after working on this exercise for about 3 months. She had started from a place of not even wanting to think about creating a bridge. The chasm felt safe to her. But she persisted because she didn't know what else to do.

 

When she called me, she said she'd finally been able to see a complete the bridge and move to the middle the previous morning. As she visualized the bridge being completed, she also "saw" her ex-husband turning to look at her from the other side for the first time. (He had always appeared oblivious before that, looking everywhere but at her in her visualizations.)

 

Later that evening, out of the blue after after nearly 6 months of no contact except through lawyers, he called her and said, "What on earth are we doing?" They then had their first rational conversation since their divorce. Needless to say, she was ecstatic.

 

No guarantees, of course, but I have yet to see this exercise fail to produce dramatic results. I've used it myself, too, on more than one occasion.

Human Ranger, Level 10
Long-term Goal: Hike WA section of Pacific Crest Trail, August 2014

Current Challenge | Facebook (personal & locavore) | Blog | Twitter

"You stand at the verge, and you could become anything." - Dan Chaon

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LOL.  I think for the first time, Pallas, I actually feel like I'm not standing on the damn bridge begging him to meet me any distance at all.  I have spent so much time trying to make things work that I haven't held him accountable for his behaviour.  I am finally doing that; finally meeting him like an equal, and we'll see what the fallout is.

 

Goal wise, things are going well.

I have walked 3 days so far, and am getting lots of compliments from other staff on how far I'm walking now, even though it's not even 10 minutes each way yet.  Will not be walking to work tomorrow or Friday.

Will try to fit a workout in on the weekend, but since I'll be at a family reunion, I'm not sure how that's going to work out :)

Eating -- I've been tracking every day, and it is helping me a lot.  Having trouble meeting my fiber goals; may have to tackle that for another week before moving on to other macros.

Confident -- this week I've just been focusing on not panicking about standing up in my letter.  Worrying now won't change whether or not he decides to take me to court over it, and I don't need to let him run my life.  I have also practiced saying some of my lines a few times, but not much.

 -- and I still haven't practiced my makeup.  Hmm.  Definitely need to practice tonight so that I can pack that NF shirt for the weekend.

 

I will be gone until Sunday night.   My brother, his wife, and their twins are coming up from Texas tomorrow (I haven't seen them in a year!!), and we're driving 6 hours to meet them, and are then spending the weekend at a family reunion. Have a great weekend everyone!

Hiraedd the Twice Risen:

Hamadryad; Pilgrim

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Happy (Canadian) Thanksgiving everyone!

 

Everything went well this weekend.

 

Instead of a workout I threw 2 small children (30lbs-ish each) in the air and caught them over and over again. :)  Coming up from a squat position gives them lots of height, and you a full body workout.  It also makes them ask "more, more, more!".

 

The twins are fantastic, and it was so great to see them.  They'll be coming up to our house to stay for a week starting on Thursday and I'm looking forward to having them.  It was also amazing to reconnect with my sister-in-law and brother.  Somehow, once they're here, it's like they never left.

 

It was good to see the extended family as well -- about 120 of approximately 200 members of my dad's mom's family were able to get together this weekend.  It was quite draining, since I'm quite the introvert, but it was important to reconnect with them.  My munchkin also hit it off with some extended cousins, so that was great.  She is used to such a small family most of the time that it was neat for her to see a fraction of the relatives we have.

 

This weekend I also hit a new milestone -- I fit in a climbing harness!!!  I haven't fit in one in years, and even this spring it was juuuust too tight, but it fit!!  Then I got to use it on a swing that was 40' high!!  (They clip you in by your harness, pull you to the top, and then you release from the pulley and swing on the cables).  I couldn't quite figure out how to make my body let me swing right upside down, but it was lots of fun anyway.

 

I took along some of my own food, ate as best I could from the food provided, and although I couldn't track, I managed well.

 

Oh, lunch is ready.  Mmm....steak.

Hiraedd the Twice Risen:

Hamadryad; Pilgrim

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omgoodness 200 family members - holy smokes Batman!!  Your older ancestors certainly enjoyed procreating ;)

 

I find hanging out with my nephews to be a trrememdous workout too - they're so much fun (and one of the big reasons i wanna be fit).  I'm thrilled about your climbing harness fit - i personally would never do that swing thing (again - i 've done it before).  I am absolutely petrified of falling (i've bungee jumped twice, bridge jumped and cliff dived plenty of times, though - gotta love beast mode).  It's sooooo liberating (even more so than seeing numbers drop off the scale). 

 

You're such a hero.  Keep up the amazing work :)

Half Faerie (Sidhe) Scout | Black Belt Kitchen Ninja
"A positive attitude will not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort" - Herm Albright
You're welcome to skype me (audriwolf) too but let me know who you are

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Sounds like a great time! Congrats on the milestone! Keep it up!

Thanks!  It was a suprisingly good time, although it took more out of my little introverted soul than I thought...

 

Congrats, Hira!!

 

It is so cool to be away for awhile and see you still kicking butt! I am looking forward to more awesomeness and I will keep checking in!!

Cid!!!!  Where have you been?  Missed you!!

 

omgoodness 200 family members - holy smokes Batman!!  Your older ancestors certainly enjoyed procreating ;)

 

I find hanging out with my nephews to be a trrememdous workout too - they're so much fun (and one of the big reasons i wanna be fit).  I'm thrilled about your climbing harness fit - i personally would never do that swing thing (again - i 've done it before).  I am absolutely petrified of falling (i've bungee jumped twice, bridge jumped and cliff dived plenty of times, though - gotta love beast mode).  It's sooooo liberating (even more so than seeing numbers drop off the scale). 

 

You're such a hero.  Keep up the amazing work :)

LOL.  I know, right?  The thing is, though, that that's only about 1/3 of my actual extended family (reaching back to my great grandparents).  I probably have an extended family of close to 700 people.  (Dad's mom, 200, Dad's dad, 180, Mom's mom, 175, Mom's Dad, 160 approximately, with some overlap since two of my mom's mom's sisters married two of my mom's dad's brothers).  I wonder if it's not due more to having farms that could sustain large families.  Either that, or the really long winter nights up here :)

 

I would definitely do the swing again if offered the choice.  It feels amazingly like flying.  I have yet to bungee or anything else, but they're on my list.  Even skydiving is on there somewhere, should I ever have enough money (it's very expensive to go up here).  One of these days I'd actually like to use a climbing harness to go climbing!

 

 

Ended up spending almost all of yesterday asleep and was still too exhausted to go into work today, so I'm using a sick day.  Crazy, that.  Being around so many people definitely affected my CON!

 

Hit my macro "percentages" if not the gross numbers, since I didn't eat much (too tired).

 

A couple more threads to catch up on, and then I think it's time for another nap.

Hiraedd the Twice Risen:

Hamadryad; Pilgrim

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Cid!!!! Where have you been? Missed you!!

Missed you too! I've been around, just crazy busy. I'll be in on the next challenge, though! Even getting one of my friends in Alabama to join us!

Level 8 Scottish Highland Assassin

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Way to go, Hira - you are doing so well with everything.

Huge congrat for the fitting into a harness. That swing sounds like so much fun!!!

Warrior Princess
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Adventure's Guild Challenge winner: Challenge #24

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Yay you and the letter! I am so very proud of you for this. You are recognizing yourself as wonderful and so much better than begging anyone for anything. Ever. I love you.

And all your other stuff rocks too. :) But I had to cheer about the letter.

love & peace,

Heidi

&Heidi

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*big long contented sigh*

 

I am finally feeling more like myself again!  I can't believe how long it took for me to recover; I wonder if I wasn't fighting off something as well, because it shouldn't take three and a half days to get over a family reunion.  Anyway, I'm feeling great.

 

I haven't walked "to work" at all this week, due to sickness, but I'm okay with that.  Will walk tomorrow, life permitting, and keep the same distance for the next week.

 

Am on track for food for the first time all week -- I have actually eaten 2 meals so far!!

 

Practiced my makeup last night and realized I like it better when my hair is up.  Weird?  I guess that's just me.  (Only one more practice and I get my NF shirt!!!!)

 

And....I stood up for myself today!  My ex wasn't willing to try changing his schedule to accommodate a parent-teacher interview and told me that instead his wife would attend by me calling her and putting her on speakerphone.  (That's right, told, not asked.)  So I told him I wasn't crazy about the idea, since phone calls make me nervous at the best of times, but that I understood his schedule constraints and would give it a try anyway.  This morning he texted me to say they "didn't want me to be uncomfortable" (yeah right) so they would make other arrangements.  I told him I appreciated that, but I was still willing to do it.  No response.  So I cleared it with the teacher (because they hadn't) and called when the meeting started.  Twice.  Couldn't get a hold of her.  So at the end I texted him about what they had missed.  I'm excited, because in the past I wouldn't have told them I was uncomfortable, and I would have felt very "pushed" by his language to just agree.  Instead I was honest and gave myself some wiggle room.  I also made the call!  (Phones give me serious anxiety, though not as bad as they used to, but especially when there is someone I don't want to talk to on the other end.)  Yay me!

 

Real life has to intrude: I have cleaning and laundry to do and supper to make before the rest of my family arrives.  I guess I better get to it!  Hugs to you all :)

Hiraedd the Twice Risen:

Hamadryad; Pilgrim

battle log

 

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Way to go, Hira - you are doing so well with everything.

Huge congrat for the fitting into a harness. That swing sounds like so much fun!!!

Thanks, Sam!  I structure my goals for success, but it's still exciting to get there :)  The swing was definitely a highlight of this challenge!

 

Yay you and the letter! I am so very proud of you for this. You are recognizing yourself as wonderful and so much better than begging anyone for anything. Ever. I love you. And all your other stuff rocks too. :) But I had to cheer about the letter. love & peace, Heidi

It's a huge thing, isn't it?  I am so excited that I am starting to be the person I've always wanted to be.  Thanks for walking through the chaos with me!

Hiraedd the Twice Risen:

Hamadryad; Pilgrim

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Hira! Such great work! Well done!

Sent with awesomeness from my iPad using Tapatalk

Half Faerie (Sidhe) Scout | Black Belt Kitchen Ninja
"A positive attitude will not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort" - Herm Albright
You're welcome to skype me (audriwolf) too but let me know who you are

My challenge

 

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Heh, if you don't call standing up for yourself with your ex "real life", I don't know what is! Fantastic, Hira, well done! Every day, such momentous changes! Very excited for you!

Human Ranger, Level 10
Long-term Goal: Hike WA section of Pacific Crest Trail, August 2014

Current Challenge | Facebook (personal & locavore) | Blog | Twitter

"You stand at the verge, and you could become anything." - Dan Chaon

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