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wideeyed and The Reflecting Pool


wideeyed

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MTB - 30 minutes of jumping on trampolines at Sky Zone

This sounds like a lot of fun!  Rawr Rawr!  I wanna play!  YAY for kicking smoking in da butt!  Rawr!

 

Good luck and have fun with Week 2 ^_^

Challenge: #1  #2  #3  #4  #5  |  Recipes  |  Level 6.  Kiwi Bird:  Rawr!   |  Team

 

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Good work wideyed!

 

Absolutely awesome on the nicotine and cigs!

 

Keep Rockin this!!!  :triumphant:

Level 6 Pixie Assassin Rangerish Adventurer
Current Challenge: Guess What??
Previous Challenges:

Spoiler

 

1st 2nd 3rd 4th 5th 6th 7th 8th 9th 10th 12th 13th 14th  Battle Log
-We can't always change the things we've done, but we can change what we do next.

-I don't have a choice. I deserve a better life and this is what I have to do to get there.
-Whatever doesn't kill me....Had better start running.

 

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Day 8

ETF 1882. Forgot to add the T of peanut butter to my night time snack, and wound up under, but only by 58. Sould average out for the week, and it wasn't intentionally restricting, more passing out earlier.

MTB didn't happen today

Tracking. Yep.

Day 9

ETF not going to make it today. I need to eat snacks during the day. It seems just as nuts to be cramming my face at the end of the day just to hit the goal. Have to plan better.

MTB. Also not happening

Tracking, yes

Made mammogram appt. made bloodwork appt. Had first medical appt.

Very freaking annoyed with my GP's new PA.

She actually told me that my joint and muscle pain is "probably a result of my not having used my muscles in too long, and it's going to take a long time for it to get better, and just keep walking."

So I explained that last night, the pain was so bad that when I squatted down to get at something on a low shelf, I got locked in place. Hubby wasn't home, boys weren't strong enough to help me up, so I toppled forward, crawled to the couch (which felt like crawling on glass), and dragged myself upright. Folks, that is NOT FUCKING NORMAL FOR A 48 year old woman. Granted, I am 200 pounds, but I have NEVER been weak. I have never had my hip or knee threaten to buckle just from walking.

Today's visit was mostly to get the paperwork for blood work up, and I asked for, and got, full work up including ANA panels RA panels and thyroid.

I will let my regular doctor know what she told me when I see him in a couple of weeks to discuss results. She had a few interesting dietary tips as well, insisting that I add legumes to my diet even AFTER I told her that I was managing my migraines with low carb/high fat. "No, legumes will make my carb level too high for ketosis." "But you SHOULDN'T eat so much meat!" "I don't eat that much meat. I eat a lot of vegetable sourced fat from flax, chia, hemp, etc. I am not a bacon and butter Atkins low carber."

Pissed off. I want to walk, but realistically, I can't. My plan for doing chair exercises isn't even going to work tonight (for the record, Spark People has some very good videos if you are ever injured and want to work out in a chair).

I hate being talked down to.

Level 2 Halfling Adventurer

Strength 1 Dexterity 1 Stamina 3 Constitution 4 Wisdom 3 Charisma 2

Current Challenge Thread

First Challenge Thread

Fit to Eat: my posts on the Sweatpants & Coffee Site

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Day 8

ETF 1882. Forgot to add the T of peanut butter to my night time snack, and wound up under, but only by 58. Sould average out for the week, and it wasn't intentionally restricting, more passing out earlier.

MTB didn't happen today

Tracking. Yep.

Day 9

ETF not going to make it today. I need to eat snacks during the day. It seems just as nuts to be cramming my face at the end of the day just to hit the goal. Have to plan better.

MTB. Also not happening

Tracking, yes

Made mammogram appt. made bloodwork appt. Had first medical appt.

Very freaking annoyed with my GP's new PA.

She actually told me that my joint and muscle pain is "probably a result of my not having used my muscles in too long, and it's going to take a long time for it to get better, and just keep walking."

So I explained that last night, the pain was so bad that when I squatted down to get at something on a low shelf, I got locked in place. Hubby wasn't home, boys weren't strong enough to help me up, so I toppled forward, crawled to the couch (which felt like crawling on glass), and dragged myself upright. Folks, that is NOT FUCKING NORMAL FOR A 48 year old woman. Granted, I am 200 pounds, but I have NEVER been weak. I have never had my hip or knee threaten to buckle just from walking.

Today's visit was mostly to get the paperwork for blood work up, and I asked for, and got, full work up including ANA panels RA panels and thyroid.

I will let my regular doctor know what she told me when I see him in a couple of weeks to discuss results. She had a few interesting dietary tips as well, insisting that I add legumes to my diet even AFTER I told her that I was managing my migraines with low carb/high fat. "No, legumes will make my carb level too high for ketosis." "But you SHOULDN'T eat so much meat!" "I don't eat that much meat. I eat a lot of vegetable sourced fat from flax, chia, hemp, etc. I am not a bacon and butter Atkins low carber."

Pissed off. I want to walk, but realistically, I can't. My plan for doing chair exercises isn't even going to work tonight (for the record, Spark People has some very good videos if you are ever injured and want to work out in a chair).

I hate being talked down to.

 

Ugh. Everyone hates being talked down to. Keep fighting the conventional wisdom. You've got the data to back it up (no migraines). 

 

Hope you feel better soon!

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eh... I have had pa's that I refuse to see... they think they know so much... sorry that she was a poopy head

Level 10.4 Wood-Elf, Ranger - specializing in demon fighting

"doing the impossible since 2012 :D" - Librarian of Doom

facebook battle log level 50 WOOT   Backstory CNF2014  current (not challenge - doing a battle log this time)

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* This is the day the Lord has made, rejoice in it and be glad. God, The Bible. * Do or do not, there is no try. - Yoda
* There are three options in this life; be good, get good, or give up. -- House * Never take counsel of your fears. Stonewall Jackson. 

* level 50 isn't gonna just POOF happen - alienjenn, NF IRC chatroom

 

* I'm not about to give up - Because I heard you say - There's gonna be brighter days… I won't stop, I'll keep my head up - No, I'm not here to stay ...  - 

 I just might bend but I won't break - As long as I can see your face - When life won't play along - And right keeps going wrong - And I can't seem to find my way - I know where I am found - So I won't let it drag me down - Oh, I'll keep dancing anyway - Mercy Me - Move

 

 

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Sorry to hear about that wideeyed. That really sucks. And I understand. When Jess was born I had a doc tell me that her projectile vomiting EVERYTHING she ate was normal and I was being an over worried mom. Turned out she was lactose intolerant, and had an ulcer. And another who called CPS on me over my oldest son because of the slow development in his motor skills as a baby. He has autism.

 

Hope things get better! Take care!

Level 6 Pixie Assassin Rangerish Adventurer
Current Challenge: Guess What??
Previous Challenges:

Spoiler

 

1st 2nd 3rd 4th 5th 6th 7th 8th 9th 10th 12th 13th 14th  Battle Log
-We can't always change the things we've done, but we can change what we do next.

-I don't have a choice. I deserve a better life and this is what I have to do to get there.
-Whatever doesn't kill me....Had better start running.

 

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That's freaking annoying!! Why do they feel the need to give advice for, is she even allowed to do that?

Hate being talked down to too. There's just no need!!

You said your back locked, how did you make it go back to normal? Or does it still hurt? I hope your feeling a little better today!

'The only Limits you have, are the ones You set for yourself'


1    2

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Sorry to hear about that wideeyed. That really sucks. And I understand. When Jess was born I had a doc tell me that her projectile vomiting EVERYTHING she ate was normal and I was being an over worried mom. Turned out she was lactose intolerant, and had an ulcer. And another who called CPS on me over my oldest son because of the slow development in his motor skills as a baby. He has autism.

 

Hope things get better! Take care!

Oldest has Asperfers, and he's not having such a great year/time  right now, and my parents think I'm doing it all wroing, so there's been some stress on that front too :)

Level 2 Halfling Adventurer

Strength 1 Dexterity 1 Stamina 3 Constitution 4 Wisdom 3 Charisma 2

Current Challenge Thread

First Challenge Thread

Fit to Eat: my posts on the Sweatpants & Coffee Site

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That's freaking annoying!! Why do they feel the need to give advice for, is she even allowed to do that?

Hate being talked down to too. There's just no need!!

You said your back locked, how did you make it go back to normal? Or does it still hurt? I hope your feeling a little better today!

It's my knees that locked up.  i'm limping, but mobile.  It just takes a few days to go away, but those are days I don't tend to get exercise in.

Level 2 Halfling Adventurer

Strength 1 Dexterity 1 Stamina 3 Constitution 4 Wisdom 3 Charisma 2

Current Challenge Thread

First Challenge Thread

Fit to Eat: my posts on the Sweatpants & Coffee Site

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Ugh on the pain and doctor not getting it. Can you do any mobility work? Maybe lie on your back and gently move your legs around so you're stretching out your hips and knees? That might let you go through the right range of motion without having to worry about your legs supporting your weight and not being able to get up again and you could see if you could move a bit at a time and see if that helps with having less pain.

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What a jerk face that lady was! You know you, wideeyed. And, you're right, that's clearly not normal. I hope you can figure it out soon and that you're feeling a little better today. Take care.

Level 2 Fire Elemental


Druid


 STR |1 DEX | 3 STA | 3 CON | 3 WIS | 1 CHA


 


First Challenge; Current Challenge


The hardcore, intense, bitchin', BEST team ever: The Dai-Gurren Brigade


 


WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK WE ARE!!?!!?

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Oldest has Asperfers, and he's not having such a great year/time  right now, and my parents think I'm doing it all wroing, so there's been some stress on that front too :)

 

Yeah, I understand that. Mine is 15 and he still is going through the rough spots. You wouldn't believe the amount of 'helpful' advice I get from family, lol.

Level 6 Pixie Assassin Rangerish Adventurer
Current Challenge: Guess What??
Previous Challenges:

Spoiler

 

1st 2nd 3rd 4th 5th 6th 7th 8th 9th 10th 12th 13th 14th  Battle Log
-We can't always change the things we've done, but we can change what we do next.

-I don't have a choice. I deserve a better life and this is what I have to do to get there.
-Whatever doesn't kill me....Had better start running.

 

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I'm glad you're hanging in there despite all the stupid crap you've had to deal with. I hate when doctors don't take me seriously.

 

Also I didn't know you were on SparkPeople? I'm RACINGSLUG.

Level 2 


Dwarf Ranger


 


STR 2     |     DEX 1     |     STA 4     |     CON 3     |     WIS 3     |     CHA 0


 


Current Challenge: Give Peas a Chance!


1st Challenge: Buggalo Begins!


 


''Life is hard. You are hard. I don't see the problem." - Coach


 


THE GURREN BRIGADE!


"Think about all the things you'd wish other people had done for, or with, you. Then do those things for other people.


                                                     Then, smash barriers and laugh a lot while shouting "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM!?!" - Hero                                                                                                                      

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Just catching up on your thread. Congrats on 8 weeks no smoking! That is so cool how you were able to play with your kids and not get out of breath.

 

On the Dr, no that is not normal. When I first started BW, my muscles were sore. Like about a level 6 or 7. It hurt to walk up stairs. I took an advil and felt better. That was normal- what you experienced was way beyond that. I hate it when Dr's don't listen

Wisdom 21   Dexterity 11   Charisma 14   Strength 18  Constitution-13

Elastigirl Endeavors, Experiments, , and Explains - Current Challenge: May 9 to June 12 - Nerd Fitness Rebellion

"If more of us valued food and cheer and song, above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world" J.R.R.Tolkien

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also catching up!  yay for no smoking and for 20 minutes of fun with the kids!

 

and seriously, that PA was a doo-doo-head.  definitely tell the Dr what the PA said and avoid that PA if you can.  see a smarter / less judgy one.  ( though unfortunately, even the smart ones wind up saying really stupid stuff every now and then. i really like my PA but once when i expressed concerned over withdrawal side effects because of the ridiculous number of reports i had read online that they were much worse than any doctor ever told them, and she told me i couldn't believe any of that because "those people were all drug addicts." um.. what?)

 

hope your body is feeling better. (knees especially!) keep rocking your challenge!

this person really wants to delete their account but can't because it's not allowed.

 

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Third time had better be the charm.  I've deleted this twice already!

 

Day 10

ETF 2,028  Good!

MTB Nothing - Not so good

Tracking - Done

 

Life - went to family therapy session with boys.

 

Day 11

ETF - 2,057 Good!

MTB Nothing - Still in pain, hip is now bad as well as knees, starting to think I might need a cane.

 

Life - got bloodwork done in the am

 

Day 12

ETF - 2,520  Technically, this counts, as my goal is to eat MORE to work my way up to TDEE.  This was a binge day, however.  I am still really struggling with the low carb.  Being in pain all week didn't help.  I am frustrated and angry.

MTB - Nope, not today either. 

Tracking - I didn't want to, but I tracked the entire freaking binge. 

 

Life - had a good cry.  Went to bed really early. 

 

Day 13

ETF - 2,514  Good.  Saturday is my planned treat day, and that ice cream adds over 1,000 calories :)

MTB - I took an almost TOTAL rest day - minimal chores, minimal movement, lots of heating pad time and stretching in bed.  This was necessary.  At this point, exercise isn't what I'm worried about - functional mobility is.  I need to be able to walk to get through my day.

Tracking - Good.

 

Day 14

ETF - So far, so good.  I'm on track for a 2,000 calorie day.

MTB - Still on as much rest as possible. 

Tracking - Good

 

I don't really know how to grade myself for the week.   ETF is technically an A, even though I lost it one day (I am going to explain the whole ETF thing in a moment).  MTB is technically an F, because I didn't do it once.  I got the stuff to do the upper body work out in a chair, but even my back was giving me issues this week, so I didn't bother with that either.  The Dragon of Pain kicked my ASS this week.  So it's an F.  I have to figure out some way to incorporate a fitness goal in my challenge that doesn't punish me when I CAN'T move the body.  Tracking is an A.  Life goal is an A - went and got stuck this week, make appt. for mammogram, had first appt. with doctor.  So a B for the week. 

 

OK, here is the deal with ETF and why I only care about high calorie days when there is binging involved.  When I started here at Nerd Fitness, I was doing strict Paleo.  I was doing it low carb, because I was trying to get my migraines under control.  This was successful.  However, after the initial very quick loss of bloat, I stalled out.  So I tracked my food for a few days.  I was averaging UNDER 1,000 calories a day.  Not good.  So my first challenge goal was to work up to 1.500 calories a day, which I THOUGHT was a reasonable number of calories for me.  I was still doing Paleo.  Still in ketosis. 

 

Someone saw me struggling, and recommended that I go take a look at a blog.  I went.  I read.  I joined the group on FB.  The premise is pretty simple.  With the exception of diabetics, prediabetics, PCOS sufferers, metabolic X people, people with thyroid disorders, etc, it really IS simply calories in vs. calores out.  No food is demonized.  Not even sugar.  You eat what works for your body, and what makes you happy.  Because here is the rub:  most of us eat far too FEW calories, and have been either deliberately or mistakenly restricting our calories for a long time.  Not only that, we've been restricting certain KINDS of foods.  For some of us (me, to be certain), this leads to disordered thinking about food.  During the first challenge, I started realizing that tracking my calories and exercise and trying to be 90% on target for Paleo was making me a little nuts.  OK, it was making me a LOT nuts.  I was getting incredibly obsessive about my food. Obsession and I are not on good terms.

 

So I started to do some research.  Specifically, I was looking up Total Daily Energy Expenditure, of TDEE.  There are a bunch of calculators out there.  Here is one of them:  I'm looking at it now, and it is telling me that my basal metabolic rate AT MY GOAL WEIGHT of 160 is 1,782 calories a day.  If I were Sleeping Beauty, that's what it would take to maintain myself.  If I were simply to add a 40 minute walk and my daily routine at work (and that's being conservative according to my Fitbit, at least when I CAN walk), my maintenance calories AT MY GOAL WEIGHT of 160 would be 2,614 calories a day.  But I don't weigh that right now.  I weigh  200 lbs right now.  those numbers are 1,931 and 3,043 respectively for my current weight. 

 

So I am increasing my calories and experimenting with how many carbs I can add without getting migraines/headaches.  The good news on that front is that it MIGHT be gluten that is triggering the headaches, in which case I can add LOTS of foods BACK in, because the carbs don't matter, the gluten does.  I could have been brave, and jumped right to that calorie level, but I am not brave.  Not yet.  The brave people who do that gain weight.  Not a great deal, but they do gain, until their metabolisms realize, "Hey!  She's FEEDING ME!!!!"   Once you stabilize, THEN you can set up a small deficit with either food or exercise (and by small, we are talking 200-300 calories per day) in order to lose.  So for the next few challenges, my goal is to get my calories UP.  But the other thing these ETF people do is they LTW. The focus is more on recomp than pounds loss. In fact, I don't even  I am so far from being able to Lift the Weights that it isn't funny.  So I'm definitely on the lower end of the intake scale until I get my body issues figured out and can start MTB regularly again.

 

The emotional roller coaster, denial, and craziness this simple philosophy has been causing has me laughing one minute, crying the next.  Because when I look back at the parts of my 48 years that I remember, I have to acknowledge that my eating is seriously disordered.  I am a dieter par excellence - but I cannot sustain anything for longer than a year, and I have never maintained weight loss (the most recent one was a 70 lb loss 6 years ago, also on low carb, going to Curves 5 days a week until I blew a disk in my neck).

 

On top of this, I have been dealing with pain.  I know I am not alone. I know that there are others who are dealing with RA, fibro, MS, and other disorders that make exercising difficult, and that they suck it up and do it anyway.  Except that I am also 48 and menopausal.  I get really, really angry with myself and with my body because there are things that I simply CANNOT do.  These are things that I have taken for granted my whole life - even if I was fat.  To pick up and carry a 50 lb bag of dog food?  No big deal.  Now I need help getting the groceries into the house.  I am at the point where I am considering a cane to help make sure I don't fall if my hip gives out mid stride (as it has been doing for the last couple of days - so far, I've been lucky and there has been something to grab onto).  My head is not in a good place.  I am fiercely independent.  Being immobile makes me really, really unhappy.  The fact that it is happening at the same time that I am finally ready to pursue fitness because I WANT to, because I want to get strong and healthy, that just sucks.  Tomorrow, I join the Y.  I am going to either take a day off of work or ask if the arthritis pool exercise instructor will do some private coaching.  My kids will have to cope with child care at the Y. 

 

Finding a permanent and livable solution is NECESSARY.  The more I restrict, the more often I binge.  Those binges are deliberate.  They are sometimes even planned.  Binging is not something I do when I am not dieting.  So I am NOT going to diet.  I'm going to avoid the foods that make me sicker, but other than that?  I am going to eat the food.  All of it.  And when I don't comment on your food or diet goals, or when I tell you that you should be eating MORE, please don't think it's because I don't recognize your hard work.  I do.  All too well.  I just can't DO it any longer.  I can't look at macros/calorie counts/food restrictions based on bad science and say anything positive, so I will continue to say nothing at all.  I am still cheering  you on.  I am still wishing  you well.  I am still hoping that you meet your challenge goals.  But I am agreeing to disagree :)

 

There.  I feel better.  Now go kick some ass week 3!!!!

Level 2 Halfling Adventurer

Strength 1 Dexterity 1 Stamina 3 Constitution 4 Wisdom 3 Charisma 2

Current Challenge Thread

First Challenge Thread

Fit to Eat: my posts on the Sweatpants & Coffee Site

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And that my friend is what life and NF SHOULD be about. Agreeing to disagree. People have the right to make the choices they feel are best for them.

Sounds like you are doing awesome in finding that path and I wish you much success on the goals you set! You are awesome. :peaceful:

Level 6 Pixie Assassin Rangerish Adventurer
Current Challenge: Guess What??
Previous Challenges:

Spoiler

 

1st 2nd 3rd 4th 5th 6th 7th 8th 9th 10th 12th 13th 14th  Battle Log
-We can't always change the things we've done, but we can change what we do next.

-I don't have a choice. I deserve a better life and this is what I have to do to get there.
-Whatever doesn't kill me....Had better start running.

 

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agreed! we all get to choose our own path that leads us to the place we want to be.  you've got to do what's best for you - for your body AND your mind.  and we'll be here cheering you on!

this person really wants to delete their account but can't because it's not allowed.

 

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