alphamisery will finish this race

[alphamisery]

Okay! So I did not anticipate the move to college would be as difficult and time-consuming as it actually was, and I got off track, and my last challenge failed. I've technically participated in a challenge before, but since I failed utterly and completely, I'm back on the beginner's circuit looking for redemption.

 

Main Goal: Get into a healthier daily routine.

 

I'm not asking much, just a little more health in my life.

 

Goal 1: Run a mile, every day.

 

Simple and succinct. I got off track with my 5k running practice last challenge, and now I feel horrible (haven't run in like two weeks and I can feel it). To fix it, I'll run at least a mile Monday-Friday. Weekends off for slight rest.

 

A - 5 runs a week

B - 4 runs a week

C - 3 runs a week

D - 2 runs a week

F - 1 or less runs a week

 

Goal 2: C25k

 

I really liked 5ks when I was up to them. I am certainly not now, but I'd like to get there again. This is a pass/fail goal, I think, but I'll do a grading scale anyway.

 

A - 3 practices a week

C - 2 practices

D - 1 practice

F - No practices 

 

Edit: Since week 1 started on a Tuesday and I'm going to be gone Friday (tomorrow as I'm writing this), I've decided to go easy on myself and say this challenge starts Monday of Week 2.

 

Goal 3: Cut out sweets

 

Sweets are hard to resist in college, especially with a meal plan. From here on out, no more. Or, at least, I'll try.

 

A - no sweets

B - 1 sweet day/week

C - 2 sweet days/week

D - 3 sweet days/week

F - more than 4 sweet days a week

 

Goal 4: Reading

 

Simple: try and read something other than textbooks. The following do not include the last forty pages of Game of Thrones.

 

A - finish two novels by the end of the challenge

B - finsh one and a half novels

C - finish one novel

D - finish half a novel

F - don't even start a new book (or don't finish Game of Thrones)

 

Motivation: You can do this, kiddo. You want to be proud every time you look in the mirror, not upset about how you've messed up. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get those sneakers back on. We're going running.

 

Tiny Mini Goal: Update this every day.

 

Just one or two sentences. I know if I do it, I'll stay motivated. It was because I stopped looking at it that I got sidetracked. No more. Update every day, no grade, just know it's good for me.

[the 13th letter]

Oh hey, now here's a face I recognize! Welcome back!

Okay! So I did not anticipate the move to college would be as difficult and time-consuming as it actually was, and I got off track, and my last challenge failed.

Similar IRL messes happened to me (writing my Master's thesis) and Courier6 (taking 10+ exams within 2-3 weeks). If I remember correctly, you had half of the first challenge done already. Had you shown life signs earlier, I would have told you to move on to level 2 along with us anyway. (Even if you did absolutely nothing during these last 3 weeks, you had half a challenge done. And this is the tutorial level; who said it has to look pretty?) But it seems that you already made up your mind to return to the 1st-timers section. Don't let that stop you from hanging out with the veterans; I feel no less nooby than you do.

What are your future guild allegiance plans? Having looked through your challenge description, I take it that for now, you'd probably want to hang with the scouts. Or, depending on whether or not you're still up to the Essential Movements from your last challenge, maybe the rangers.

Goal 1:Run a mile, every day.

Goal 2:C25k

Two goals I can relate to, somewhat. (I suck at running, disproportionately more than at other fitness things. However, my vision of a fit person involves not falling over when trying to catch a train at the other side of a large train station. So yeah.) I think stacking both of these goals on top of each other might be a bit much though. I used to have a dormmate who ran, and he had to take off-days lest his body wouldn't cope. He was in the 10-15 miles range, though; I don't know if this is already an issue in the 1-5 miles range.

Goal 3: Cut out sweets

Goal 4:Reading

Two worthy goals. I'm usually good on #3 (if there are substitutes in the house, such as nuts and berries), so I don't know how much of a struggle it'll be for you. And for #4, personally I'd stick to non-fiction instead of fiction (my favorite: pop psychology books, such as Daniel Goleman's "Emotional Intelligence"). Reading fiction "for fun" is fine and dandy, but if you're reading "for sports" I feel that you should be getting as much knowledge out of those pages as you can. IMO, at least. (And if you're a creative arts-type major, maybe you will get more out of reading fiction. I wouldn't know.)

Tiny Mini Goal:Update this every day.

I'm with you on this one. I take it that this means I have permission to step on your toes if you don't update your thread every day? You certainly have permission for stepping on my toes if I fall short on my own thread.

[jordansl]

Hi AlphaMisery -

 

I love your grading system! And I feel you on the going back to school - not that I had a routine over the summer, but it's that much harder starting one now!  Best of luck

[alphamisery]

Day 1

 

I went for my mile run this morning and it was great. I got like 12:30-ish, so no real decline in ability, although it did feel a ton more strenuous than it should have.

 

Also, there was a donut decorating contest that my boyfriend entered and I successfully avoided. I'm still eating carbs, and probably a little bit too much at that, but a step at a time, right? Sweets have been my biggest thing, and if I can avoid large, luscious donuts, I can do anything.

 

And as far as reading goes, I just started The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. It turns out that I only had like six pages left in Game of Thrones so I finished that last night and picked up a random book from my shelf.

 

So Day 1, so far, so good.

[alphamisery]

 

 

Similar IRL messes happened to me (writing my Master's thesis) and Courier6 (taking 10+ exams within 2-3 weeks). If I remember correctly, you had half of the first challenge done already. Had you shown life signs earlier, I would have told you to move on to level 2 along with us anyway. (Even if you did absolutely nothing during these last 3 weeks, you had half a challenge done. And this is the tutorial level; who said it has to look pretty?) But it seems that you already made up your mind to return to the 1st-timers section. Don't let that stop you from hanging out with the veterans; I feel no less nooby than you do.

What are your future guild allegiance plans? Having looked through your challenge description, I take it that for now, you'd probably want to hang with the scouts. Or, depending on whether or not you're still up to the Essential Movements from your last challenge, maybe the rangers.

 

I don't know. Moving on just didn't feel honest. I know I finished one thing completely, but my running and my writing fell by the wayside so much that I just can't count a small success against the big failures. I mean, if you mess up on the tutorial, you've got to redo it before moving on, right? I think I need a clean start as a nobody noobie.

 

I'm honestly not sure about my guild. I'm thinking of just doing adventurer once I finish this one. I want to get generally fit before I class (and hopefully multi class as my skills improve).

 

 

Two goals I can relate to, somewhat. (I suck at running, disproportionately more than at other fitness things. However, my vision of a fit person involves not falling over when trying to catch a train at the other side of a large train station. So yeah.) I think stacking both of these goals on top of each other might be a bit much though. I used to have a dormmate who ran, and he had to take off-days lest his body wouldn't cope. He was in the 10-15 miles range, though; I don't know if this is already an issue in the 1-5 miles range.

 

I don't think it'll be that much of a problem at the early stages. I'm starting C25k at the beginning, so that's hardly even running at all. Once I get to five weeks I'll probably reduce the mile to a fast walk so I don't mess myself up. As for now, though, I'll probably be fine.

 

 

 

Two worthy goals. I'm usually good on #3 (if there are substitutes in the house, such as nuts and berries), so I don't know how much of a struggle it'll be for you. And for #4, personally I'd stick to non-fiction instead of fiction (my favorite: pop psychology books, such as Daniel Goleman's "Emotional Intelligence"). Reading fiction "for fun" is fine and dandy, but if you're reading "for sports" I feel that you should be getting as much knowledge out of those pages as you can. IMO, at least. (And if you're a creative arts-type major, maybe you will get more out of reading fiction. I wouldn't know.)

 

It's hard to resist those sweets, especially when my skinny super metabolism boyfriend sneaks them. * sigh * But I'm doing my best to say no. Hopefully it sticks more than one day.

 

As for the fiction vs nonfiction, I've got a few books piled up of both sorts, including some hard science fiction. Right now I'm going nonfiction, but that's mostly just because I wanted to switch up textbook reading for self help reading.

 

 

 

I'm with you on this one. I take it that this means I have permission to step on your toes if you don't update your thread every day? You certainly have permission for stepping on my toes if I fall short on my own thread.

 

Please get on my case. I need to update this like my life depends on it. Although be kind on the weekends. I may not have access to the internet 24/7.

 

And I'll definitely get on yours. Tomorrow. I am super pooped and I will read it while waiting for class to start.

[alphamisery]

Hi AlphaMisery -

 

I love your grading system! And I feel you on the going back to school - not that I had a routine over the summer, but it's that much harder starting one now!  Best of luck

 

Aw, thanks. I tried to make it a little more concrete this time around. Flexibility is not your friend in trying to keep goals. At least it's not for me.

 

Summer routines are just as hard to stick with as new routines are to make. Trust me. It's crazy hard to not get lazy.

[the 13th letter]

I don't know. Moving on just didn't feel honest. I know I finished one thing completely, but my running and my writing fell by the wayside so much that I just can't count a small success against the big failures. I mean, if you mess up on the tutorial, you've got to redo it before moving on, right? I think I need a clean start as a nobody noobie.

It always pains me to see NF rebels judge themselves so harshly, newbies even more so (who are more at danger of giving up after the first setback). This isn't a competition, so why grade yourself as if it were?

Yeah, I know, strictly speaking it's a competition against your past self. But it's more like a competition with fixed attendees all the way to the end, and that makes one of the main advantages of competitive grading, namely kicking out those who perform badly, a moot point.

That said, I understand your reasons for wanting to redo the tutorial level. I too have felt that my performance was not worth a passing grade. However, after as objective an evaluation as possible, and in light of my feelings on competitive grading, I decided to move on. I'm confident this was the right decision for me. If you feel that the right decision for you is to redo the tutorial level, then all the more power to you. You have my support.

I'm honestly not sure about my guild. I'm thinking of just doing adventurer once I finish this one. I want to get generally fit before I class (and hopefully multi class as my skills improve).

I'm not trying to coerce you into deciding right now which guild to choose. Sorry if it comes across like that. Rather, based on my reading of the class descriptions, and from what I know of your two challenges, to me it sounds like Scouts (considering this challenge only) and Rangers (considering both) would be a good fit. If it would be the Adventurers, then the Adventurers it would be.

I do want to coerce you into running (heh heh…) into the subforums of the respective classes you choose (or all, if you don't choose) instead of just hanging out only with the 1st-timers. My impression is that the veterans are much more tightly knit than the newbies are; after all, most of the newbies are, well, newbies, who don't know each other yet. I feel that it's important to get your face in front of those people with whom you might be spending the majority of your NF Rebellion "career".

Yeah yeah, I know, tough talk from someone whose avatar as of now isn't a face, but rather a giant letter. I'm just going to ignore that for now.

As for the fiction vs nonfiction, I've got a few books piled up of both sorts, including some hard science fiction. Right now I'm going nonfiction, but that's mostly just because I wanted to switch up textbook reading for self help reading.

That's…kind of what I was arguing for. Again, me worrying about things that needn't be worried about.

I've heard good things about "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People". Do tell me how nice the book was when you're done, please!

Please get on my case. I need to update this like my life depends on it. Although be kind on the weekends. I may not have access to the internet 24/7.

Roger that.

[alphamisery]

 

It always pains me to see NF rebels judge themselves so harshly, newbies even more so (who are more at danger of giving up after the first setback). This isn't a competition, so why grade yourself as if it were?

Yeah, I know, strictly speaking it's a competition against your past self. But it's more like a competition with fixed attendees all the way to the end, and that makes one of the main advantages of competitive grading, namely kicking out those who perform badly, a moot point.

That said, I understand your reasons for wanting to redo the tutorial level. I too have felt that my performance was not worth a passing grade. However, after as objective an evaluation as possible, and in light of my feelings on competitive grading, I decided to move on. I'm confident this was the right decision for me. If you feel that the right decision for you is to redo the tutorial level, then all the more power to you. You have my support.

 

I think it is. I've been battling with self-issues for a little while now (thankfully I have a boyfriend who is all about helping me get over that), and I just think starting fresh and clean, no judgement, is best for me.

 

 

I'm not trying to coerce you into deciding right now which guild to choose. Sorry if it comes across like that. Rather, based on my reading of the class descriptions, and from what I know of your two challenges, to me it sounds like Scouts (considering this challenge only) and Rangers (considering both) would be a good fit. If it would be the Adventurers, then the Adventurers it would be.

I do want to coerce you into running (heh heh…) into the subforums of the respective classes you choose (or all, if you don't choose) instead of just hanging out only with the 1st-timers. My impression is that the veterans are much more tightly knit than the newbies are; after all, most of the newbies are, well, newbies, who don't know each other yet. I feel that it's important to get your face in front of those people with whom you might be spending the majority of your NF Rebellion "career".

Yeah yeah, I know, tough talk from someone whose avatar as of now isn't a face, but rather a giant letter. I'm just going to ignore that for now.

 

Especially with running help. Stretching is the bane of my existence. I'll definitely build up the confidence to go talk to them. 

 

 

 

That's…kind of what I was arguing for. Again, me worrying about things that needn't be worried about.

I've heard good things about "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People". Do tell me how nice the book was when you're done, please!

 

My dad actually read it and recommended I read it during college to help with my transitioning. I've not really gotten into the core of it yet, but it's really good so far.

 

 

 

Roger that. 

 

* salutes *

[alphamisery]

Day 2

 

So yesterday was a big, great downward spiral. I didn't do my C25k practice (and I'm not going to tomorrow because I have to be up at 5:30 to go to a debate competition). I've decided to start it next Monday, fresh and what have you. It's easiest.

 

Then I had a doughnut during my biology class break. They had extra in the upstairs part of the honors building and we got invited and I was like "one doughnut" which is the exact bad thing to do because it just got worse from there.

 

I didn't resist temptation through the rest of the day, eating Chinese for lunch (which isn't a sweet but still not a good option), and then during my debate meeting I had candy followed by a lambda meeting where I got to put a condom on a dildo and ate like three cookies and a couple pieces of this absolutely delicious brownie concoction called an "Oh My Lord" bar.

 

And then my boyfriend got worried because it made me depressed, so he made me stay at his place and I looked at myself in the mirror and starting sobbing seeing all my hard work from over the summer slip away.

 

Which fortunately led to him taking a big supportive step in outlining how I could get healthier and fight the temptation I face at the food court and at the dining hall. Basically, I'm going to start getting my breakfast to go (only protein, no carbs unless a fruit once or twice a week), eating my lunch at the food court because they have the best salad place you could ever want, and then for dinner making a salad to go so I don't sit around looking at all the bad foods and potential pit falls. He even worked in subway once a week before debate (since otherwise I wouldn't get dinner), and I'm going to pile on the lettuce during those trips and pretend carbs are okay. I've had pretty bad problems with almost being anorexic (not physically, but mentally) and it still has a very dark cloud over my head, so I hope this and his support will get me to where I need to be.

 

Anyway, sorry for not updating yesterday. Wednesdays are always my busy days. It's good to get it off my chest.

[alphamisery]

Day 3, part 1

 

While I'm here, I'm going to go ahead and say I did my mile this morning. It was tough, I've definitely lost my stride, but I got through the whole thing in 12:35. It's not the fastest I've ever done, but considering my muscles ache like the dickens and my breathing is horrendous, I'm proud.

 

Now I'm on my way to the dining hall to get my breakfast to go and try and make yesterday a mistake that I'm learning from.

[alphamisery]

Day 3, part 2

 

Okay, so today went well. I did have some fried shrimp, but since that's not a desert-type food, I'm counting it okay (next challenge we'll tackle that obstacle). Two salads today. Very proud. Got a lot of research done for my classes, so yay, and debate tournament tomorrow. Oh, and I've read 43 pages of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. It's pretty great so far.

 

I'm feeling good today. Now I've just got to keep it up for six more weeks.

[the 13th letter]

Day 2

So yesterday was a big, great downward spiral. … (details of downward spiral) … (plans for recovery/improvement) …

Day 3, part 2

(diet worked, college work done, book read) … I'm feeling good today. Now I've just got to keep it up for six more weeks.

Congrats on a successful day 3, alpha! But I'm sorry to hear you had a rough day 2. It's been a day since then, and by the looks of day 3 you seem to be feeling better, so please don't beat yourself up over it. Short-term bumps only lead to long-term downward trends if you let them get to you; focus instead on the long-term trend ("how has my progress in the last three weeks been?" and "what can I do today to continue this trend?"). I know, this ain't rocket science, and you already know this… But you might not remember it while you're in the middle of the heat of those short-term bumps.

Also, a reminder: You choose your goals, and thus their difficulty. You can make it easier by choosing something more narrow in scope, or something easier for you to tie into your existing habits, or both. For example:

• No sweets in the weekdays.
  • First two weeks: no sweets on Mon/Thu
  • Next two weeks: no sweets on Mon/Tue/Thu/Fri
  • Final two weeks: no sweets Mon-Fri
• Limits on how many "items" (candy bars, single doughnuts, servings of pudding, etc.) per day.
  • First week: 10 items
  • Second week: 8 items
  • Third week: 6 items
  • Fourth week: 4 items
  • Fifth week: 2 items
  • Sixth week: 1 item

I certainly think these would be easier to accomplish than your 100% abstinence goal, yet still reap most of the benefits. Hope this helps.

[the 13th letter]

Please get on my case. I need to update this like my life depends on it.

Poke.

Poke.

Pokity poke poke.

So, wazzup?

[alphamisery]

Weekend Update

 

Sorry I wasn't on this weekend. I had a debate tournament and spent all my time debating. Fortunately, I managed to stay on track with the sweets thing. Really proud there. Since I didn't do much of anything, there's not much to say.

[alphamisery]

 

 

I certainly think these would be easier to accomplish than your 100% abstinence goal, yet still reap most of the benefits. Hope this helps. 

 

I do take your advice in mind, but I find it harder to not binge when I'm allowing myself a little. It's a slippery slope. One yummy thing here, another thing there, and soon I'm crashing and sobbing and hating myself. It's easier to go cold turkey, at least for me. Less temptation to cheat with a little extra.

[alphamisery]

Week 1 Grades

 

Goal 1: D

Goal 2: n/a

Goal 3: B

Goal 4: n/a

 

So not too bad. Of course goal 2 will have a grade this week, but goal 4 must wait until the end to have a proper grade. Nothing to be too proud of, but at least I'm sticking to it, and that's what matters.

[alphamisery]

Day 8

 

Today was good. I did week 2, day 1 of C25K, so on track. I did have half a pumpkin thing at McCallie that my boyfriend gave me, but since it was a very tiny amount and wasn't on my own initiative, I'm not going to count today as a sweet day. I'm slowly chomping away at The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, and I've been feeling pretty good.

 

Tomorrow should be just as nice.

[the 13th letter]

Woohoo! Alpha is alive! Yeah, you answered me yesterday already, but I was wondering if you were re-moving to college again all over.

I do take your advice in mind, but I find it harder to not binge when I'm allowing myself a little. It's a slippery slope. One yummy thing here, another thing there, and soon I'm crashing and sobbing and hating myself. It's easier to go cold turkey, at least for me. Less temptation to cheat with a little extra.

A different angle of attacking the problem might be having two progressively smaller limits: a "soft" and a "hard" one. As in you aiming for the soft limit, but nothing bad happening if you don't exceed the hard limit. How about that?

I'm suggesting yet another angle to approach your goal because I really, really don't like the side effects of your current one: sobbing and hating yourself if you mess up. I know it's entirely possible to achieve a goal such as not eating sweets without addressing the feeling of unworthiness when you mess up. But that feeling of unworthiness will then backfire in the worst possible way if you mess up long after you thought you weren't messing up anymore. I think part of this challenge should involve developing a much more it's-not-that-bad attitude towards failure. My two cents.

Week 1 Grades

Goal 1: D

Goal 2: n/a

Goal 3: B

Goal 4: n/a

So not too bad. Of course goal 2 will have a grade this week, but goal 4 must wait until the end to have a proper grade. Nothing to be too proud of, but at least I'm sticking to it, and that's what matters.

P-P-P-P-P-Progress! Yay!

[alphamisery]

I was a bad challenger yesterday and didn't run, and today I also skipped out on the running in favor of catching up on sleep.

I also allowed today to be a sweet day because I needed it.

That's all my update. Super tired so it's off to bed I go.

[the 13th letter]

Pooooooooooooooooooooooooke?

Debate tournament again? <.<

[alphamisery]

Well, it turns out college is much more of a time suck that you'd ever believe.

 

 

 

Pooooooooooooooooooooooooke?

Debate tournament again? <.<

 

No, I am merely very bad at keeping up with the internet.

 

You see, my computer won't log me in, so that limits me to my boyfriend's computer and the ones in the library. And this week was a hassle. All sorts of tests and assignments and crazy amounts of work. I should have updated, and this isn't an excuse, but forgive me my sins.

 

Ugh.

 

Anyway, grades up next.

[alphamisery]

Week 2 Grades

 

 

Goal 1: F

Goal 2: D

Goal 3: B

Goal 4: n/a

 

I didn't run a mile but my practice on Monday, and so I am doomed to my F for bad behavior.

 

I did do my C25K practice Monday, but I needed sleep desperately. Now I'm back to being up at an early hour without being wiped out and forcing myself out of bed. So now I'll get out of bed and force myself to run. One week of fucking up does not equal a challenge of fucking up until I give up!

 

Sweets were good. I had candy at debate practice Wednesday, so a sweet day, but otherwise I stayed far from temptation. I didn't even feel the need to get sweets this week, so I think I'm kicking the habit (again, and this time I'll make it last). However, I have been eating takeout, which isn't good, but I'll cut back this challenge and eliminate it next one.

 

And reading is going fine. I couldn't read as much as I would have liked last week (and this upcoming week looks dim with all the school-related projects I have going on), but I'm about halfway through after two weeks. My second book will probably be shorter (I've been meaning to read The Fault in Our Stars so that will be a great opportunity for a quick read). I'm positive I can at least get a B on this challenge, and that's all I can really ask.

 

So the challenge is going. Not strong by any means, but it's going. I fell into some temptation by sleeping in (and staying over at my boyfriends for a nice warm body), but seeing that mistake clearly, I think I'll stick to my room and just visit on the weekends. I'll kick running back up and if I make As the next four weeks, I'll be averaging a high C or low B. And for the C25K, I can make a medium B.

 

Now it's just a matter of sticking with it and no more slacking off.

[the 13th letter]

No, I am merely very bad at keeping up with the internet. You see, my computer won't log me in, so that limits me to my boyfriend's computer and the ones in the library.

In times like these, I advocate getting a younger sibling, convincing Mom/Dad/whoever to sponsor new computer equipment for your sibling, and taking over your sibling's equipment using the "I'm the elder sibling! I need to take care of you, and keep you away from things that can harm you. Such as this computer! *snatches computer*" approach.

Not that I've done that before. *whistles*

[the 13th letter]

*pokes alpha with a stick*

You alive, there? Don't you be goin' all beta on me, ya hear?

You said you had comp troubles and all, but I do hope you're still keeping track on paper. Right? Right?

[alphamisery]

Well I am a bucket of irresponsibility. I've not been running at all (once last week, again) and I had two sweets days last week.

Overall miserably failing at my goals. I could make excuses like I had a massive pile of work piled on me, but running at six shouldn't be affected like that.

I'm going to try harder this week. If I run twice I'll be happy. I don't know why I'm not motivated. I feel like I want the change but I'm not going for it. It astounds me that I've let myself slip so far.

And what's worse is that even this hasn't helped get me off my ass.