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"The Party Don't Start Until... Oh." Ensi's Challenge #3!


Ensi

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Hi everyone! I'm joining the challenge two weeks in, because I just can't stand staying away from here :D I'm doing mentally very fine, my anxiety has alleviated a lot and I'm loving every second of my studies. I'm still stuggling with my diet, though. So, here I am, hoping to find a better eating plan for myself.

 

My main goal is still ~:Finding Inner Peace:~ through healthy diet and exercise. I'm actually physically just as active as I'd hope to be, so this time around I'm going to target my diet and some financial stuff. :)

 

Goal #1: Dark Delight

I'm slipping back to buying too much dark chocolate, which has got to stop. I'm only allowing myself to buy one dark chocolate bar per week, because having too much is bad for you and living without is bad for you, you know? : ) This means that I can buy a 100 g bar on Monday and eat a little every day, just as long as I don't buy another one until next Monday.

 

- 1 chocolate bar per week: A

- 2-3 chocolate bars per week: B

- 4-5 chocolate bars per week: C (slow down, girl!)

- 6 or more?? You crazy! : D

 

Since I won't be stuffing chocolate in my face all the time around people, I will assign 3 points to Charisma.

 

Goal #2: Dairy Fairy

Though I've succeeded in dropping milk completely (hura!), dairy is still a tough one, especially yoghurt. I've seen that going cold turkey just makes me sad :( , so instead of bying a large carton of yoghurt and eating it almost instantly, I'm going to start buying smaller pots and having only a couple of them in the fridge at all times. This should make it easier for me to control portion size and eventually leave yoghurt out. I will have a list on my fridge and I will draw a mark on it every time I buy a small pot of yoghurt.

 

- 7 or less pots per week: A

- 8-12 pots per week: B

- 13-15?? : C

- 16 or more? really? : D

 

Since leaving dairy out will do good for my PCOS symptoms, I will assign 5 points to Constitution.

 

Goal #3: My Emptyness Is Killing Me No More

To replace the lost chocolate and dairy, I'm going to learn to cook one new meal every week. I would prefer to cook something with a lot of vegetables.

 

- Learn to cook a meal every week: A

- Or do not: D

 

For this goal, I will assign 2 points to Wisdom.

 

Goal #4: The Bare Necessities...

Since I'm a student, my monthly income isn't all that great, and combined with my unplanned grocery shopping... well, let's just say that it isn't working out. :D My parents do help me if I'm in trouble, but I just find it embarrasing to ask for more money. So, to tackle this issue, I've made myself a monthly budget that I'm going to follow. I'm going to keep this very simple:

 

- Ask for financial help once or not at all: A

- Ask for help 2-4 times: B

- Ask for help 5-9000 times: D

 

Important stuff. Grade A gets 3 points to Wisdom.

 

MOTIVATION?

This was a tough one. My diet isn't optimal for me at the moment, but I am pretty pleased with my life after such a long time of depression and anxiety and I've let myself go a little easier. BUT, a couple of nights ago I watched The Dark Knight Rises, and it was a line by Bane that made me think about my situation again:

 

Peace has cost you your strength! Victory has defeated you!

 

So, instead of just being pleased with being so-and-so OK with my diet, I'm going to tackle the issue, make small but important changes and make it work. Let's do this.

 

So, that's it! It's good to be back :) My signature seems to have lost its senses, though, so I'm going to repair that now... Rebel on!

-:*~ Journal ~*:-

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So far so good! Haven't bought another chocolate bar and I actually have only some sour cream in my fridge, which doesn't make me binge at all since it's, well, more sour than natural yoghurt... :D I've bought four yoghurt pots this week, so that's three to go. I'll probably get them this weekend, should I feel like it.

 

I made some vegetable soup today, and prepared a big portion of chicken that I can eat for a few days now. I thought I might learn to make fish soup this weekend for my new meal :)

 

Now I should by studying, but instead I'm reading Pacific Rim fanfiction. Send help. (Not!)

-:*~ Journal ~*:-

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Thanks, it's good to be back! :)

 

Yeah, fanfics! Also, everything you can find on PR tag on Tumblr is very important. :D That movie has ruined me. I actually did a kettlebell workout today while listening to the soundtrack... But the movie won't be released on blu-ray in Finland until December. That's sad, but on the other hand I've figured it'll be a prize for an autumn well studied... Haha!

 

Yep, Leeroy, I think I got my goals nice and simple here. Simple is indeed the word... I have a lot going on right now, so I don't want anything too complicated in my schedule  :)

 

I've kept to my dairy goal, but I've slipped with the chocolate. I went to a book fair yesterday, which was super fun (I bought some books and comics, met awesome people and had a great time), aaaaand bought some super cheap chocolate! Here's the thing, though: I bought about 100 grams, ate it within three hours or so - and ended up feeling extremely nauseated! I had thought about buying some more chocolate to bring back home because it was delicious and cheap (ehehe), but that nauseous feeling made me realise that it wasn't worth it. I don't regret buying or eating the chocolate at the fair, though: it was delicious and gave me energy to go through a billion piles of books. So, I'm taking this as a reminder of how chocolate affects the way I feel. I'm also proud of myself for not buying any more chocolate. I actually stopped for a moment, thought about it, and decided that I shouldn't buy more. Hurah!

 

I also met my aunt and her husband today. She would have bought me a big slice of chocolate cake to go with my coffee, but I said no. We ended up buying two slices of two different cakes for the three of us. I tasted both of the cakes (delicious!) and didn't feel nauseated afterwards. I think I'm getting the hang of this...

 

Right now it's raining outside and I feel like reading a good book in my warm bed. :) See you all on Monday, maybe! (These goals are also good, because I don't necessarily need to check in here every day. It leaves more time for studies...)

-:*~ Journal ~*:-

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ENSI!!!! Your challenge link in your signature is NOT your current challenge, btw: I had to hunt you down via your profile. :P Great looking goals, as always, and it sounds like you're doing awesome. Keep it up! Just a few more weeks to go! :D

Evicious, Khajjit Ranger STR 7 | DEX 13 | STA 3 | CON 6 | WIS 16 | CHA 4

Current 4WC: Evicious: The Unburdening II + Blitz Week!

Fitocracy! I Play To Win!

Keep up the momentum!

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ENSI!!!! Your challenge link in your signature is NOT your current challenge, btw: I had to hunt you down via your profile. :tongue: Great looking goals, as always, and it sounds like you're doing awesome. Keep it up! Just a few more weeks to go! :D

 

You precious person, thanks for pointing that out! I had to fix my signature when I came back here because it was a big coded mess and I totally forgot to update the link after all the decoding! ... I mean, this was a well planned plot to make you prove that you're a strong, independent nerd who can find her way around the forum like a boss. Yes. That's it.

 

 

Good job on the portion control.  I like getting a couple of smaller desserts and sampling them with people.  Works out pretty well.

 

That's what I'm thinking, too! And that slice of the chocolate cake was huge. I know I would have probably fainted after eating it... And the cashier, seeing that we were buying three cups of coffee and "only" two slices of cake, asked us if we had enough to eat! :D Well, OK, it's her job to sell stuff, but still...

 

I can't believe it's been a week already o__o Time passes by so fast. Anyhoo, this week's stats:

 

Goal #1: 7 pots of yoghurt bought. Grade: A

Goal #2: 3 bars of chocolate bought. Grade: B

Goal #3: Made some vegetable stew today with onions and common mushrooms, which I have never used in a stew before. Happy to say that I've found two delicious ingredients for my diet :) Grade: A

 

Goal #4 will be graded at the end of the challenge, since it's a long-term goal.

 

Overall grade: A

 

I had some unexpected social meetings this week and went in unprepared (yaiks!). I ate some extra chocolate during these meetings, but didn't buy any while doing my regular grocery shopping. I noticed something interesting when my aunt wanted to buy me that chocolate cake: I felt bad saying "no" because I didn't want to hurt her feelings, not because I would have really liked to have some of that cake. When I realised that, I went around the situation and suggested we'd take a couple of slices of different cakes and then the three of us we could share them. Win-win! I also made my aunt's husband eat most of them cakes :DD

 

Alrighty, I'm ready for week #2, which would actually be week #4... yes. Have a great start of the week, everyone! :)

 

ED; I feel like sharing this song here right now. I've been listening to it today a lot :)

 

-:*~ Journal ~*:-

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LOL Like da boss I AM! :P Am also a mushroom lover, btw (the food kind, not the drug kind!)

 

And I think you handled the chocolate cake scenario with your aunt beautifully! I bet you made her husband plenty happy too. ^_^

 

I've never heard that song (or those artists) before, but SWEET! "My inner ninja... da na na na na... my inner ninja...." I have an earworm now. :P Super cute video, too.

Evicious, Khajjit Ranger STR 7 | DEX 13 | STA 3 | CON 6 | WIS 16 | CHA 4

Current 4WC: Evicious: The Unburdening II + Blitz Week!

Fitocracy! I Play To Win!

Keep up the momentum!

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I used mushrooms and onions in my crockpot roast the other day.  Also used coconut milk and beef broth.  Turned out really good.

 

Crockpots <3 Gotta love them, especially since I don't have an oven in my present appartment...

 

I bought four pots of yoghurt on Monday and had finished them by Tuesday morning :D Seeing that I have no control over eating yoghurt, I've decided not to buy yoghurt anymore. Same goes with chocolate: I'm not buying one 100g bar all at once. Instead, I'm allowed to have a small 18 g bar every day, should I feel like it. Having a big bar of chocolate at home just doesn't work for me!

 

Nevertheless, it seems that I've succeeded in learning new recipes to replace dairy with, which makes leaving it out easier. Let's see what happens :) I might also go buy some salmon and learn to make a new meal out of it... See you!

-:*~ Journal ~*:-

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Crockpots <3 Gotta love them, especially since I don't have an oven in my present appartment...

 

I bought four pots of yoghurt on Monday and had finished them by Tuesday morning :D Seeing that I have no control over eating yoghurt, I've decided not to buy yoghurt anymore. Same goes with chocolate: I'm not buying one 100g bar all at once. Instead, I'm allowed to have a small 18 g bar every day, should I feel like it. Having a big bar of chocolate at home just doesn't work for me!

 

Nevertheless, it seems that I've succeeded in learning new recipes to replace dairy with, which makes leaving it out easier. Let's see what happens :) I might also go buy some salmon and learn to make a new meal out of it... See you!

 

Pics! Pics! I demand food porn!!! :D

Evicious, Khajjit Ranger STR 7 | DEX 13 | STA 3 | CON 6 | WIS 16 | CHA 4

Current 4WC: Evicious: The Unburdening II + Blitz Week!

Fitocracy! I Play To Win!

Keep up the momentum!

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Hmm... I'll get you some high quality food porn a bit later, I already ate all the food for today :D

 

It's Friday and things are going smooth. Except for yesterday, when I almost had a mental breakdown when I heard that a former male teacher of mine, who really bothered me with messages on Facebook a couple of weeks ago, has stalked "girls like me" before. And by "girls like me" I mean "girls with blond hair and blue eyes". I'm pretty horrified that a former teacher and someone I've trusted suddenly turns out to be a bit of a creep. Nevertheless, I already told him a couple of weeks ago to stay away from me, since he liked my every comment and status update on Facebook and would comment things like "oh Ensi, you're a genious and the best person ever" and posting some very alerting, mildly sexual gifs on my FB wall. Gosh. I'm feeling better now, though, but... I just don't feel good about this at all. :/ Luckily I never need to see him again.

 

I did a workout with my kettlebells today and now I'm going to spend the evening with a friend. We're going to play The Sims 3: we made a family, where there are two guys. One wants to be a superhero and the other one the most evil evildoer in the galaxy :D We'll see how they'll live together...

 

Rebel on!

-:*~ Journal ~*:-

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hey Ensi, what % chocolate do you eat?

 

And do you really like the sims 3?  Because I loved 1 and 2, but after watching a few sim 3 videos and hearing from other people- it seems like they killed some of the magic somehow.

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hey Ensi, what % chocolate do you eat?

 

And do you really like the sims 3?  Because I loved 1 and 2, but after watching a few sim 3 videos and hearing from other people- it seems like they killed some of the magic somehow.

 

I usually eat 70-86 % chocolate. I know it's good for me, but too much is too much! :D

 

I like the Sims 3, it's a lot of fun! The Sims 2 is maybe my favourite, but I'm loving the Sims 3 Pets expansion since you can have horses there (and the animals are a lot more detailed than in previous versions, as well). On the whole, I can't say whether the Sims 3 is better or worse than 1 or 2. I like them all. Go and try it yourself! :)

 

 

I'm giving the weekly stats here and now...

 

Week 2

 

Goal #1: 3 bars of chocolate bought this week (300 g). I'll make a shopping list for next week and stick to it, that should keep me from buying any extra food. Grade: B

Goal #2: 7 pots of yoghurt bought. I'm not missing eating yoghurt a lot, to be honest! Grade: A

Goal #3: Made a salmon soup, which I'm definitely going to do again! Grade: A

 

Overall grade: A-

 

Still some struggles with goal #1. Goals #2 and #3 are going smoothly, so next week I'm paying some extra attention to goal #1. I'll try some of these tips.

Third week of the challenge starts tomorrow. It's funny how fast the time seems to go by! :D

-:*~ Journal ~*:-

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OK, I think I've realised something today, and it ain't pretty. Or well, it's just very simple: I'm still an emotional eater, no matter how I look at it. I still eat even when I'm not hungry and I also snack between meals. I feel like the recent events in my life have made me realise this very profoundly.

 

The thing that happened last week with that former teacher of mine shocked me and I ate chocolate to make me feel better -  in the end it just always makes me feel worse, though. But I realised that I eat a lot when I'm not okay. I need a new way to deal with my emotions, and I just might have found it: writing.

 

This article by Steve and the creative writing classes I'm participating are starting to change my view on things. At the beginning of each writing class we are told to write 10 minutes of whatever we like, as long as we don't stop and pay no attention to grammar or such. I've noticed that I usually write about things that bother me and I'm starting to have a deeper connection with my writing. So, today when I was about to eat more chocolate, I instead started writing a diary. I thought about how I feel while I eat chocolate and let the words flow. Here's a rough translation from Finnish (this is stream of conciousness, so don't expect to find any fine grammar here):

 

"I want to be able to curb eating chocolate it's not easy since it makes me feel safe and comforts me when there's some chocolate in the cabin it makes me feel confident and eating it is only a part of it

 

I can't control it at all but I'd like to because I wan't to lose weight and be fit and healthy and not always be ill or weak or only partly OK so I need to change"

 

I kept writing a little longer, and... It helped. For now, at least. Writing made me feel the same as eating chocolate does, so from now on I'll keep a personal note book with me at all times: if I get a craving for chocolate, I'll write. I'm curious to see if this could be the way for me to deal with my emotions. I'll keep you all posted :D

 

On the not-so-bright-side, I got the flu again. Blergh. Also, Pacific Rim was released on blu-ray today in US. I'm jealous. I want it on blu-ray. Maybe I'll go write about these feelings now :D See you!

-:*~ Journal ~*:-

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 I'm still an emotional eater,

 

The thing that happened last week with that former teacher of mine shocked me and I ate chocolate to make me feel better -  in the end it just always makes me feel worse, though. But I realised that I eat a lot when I'm not okay. I need a new way to deal with my emotions, and I just might have found it: writing.

 

So, today when I was about to eat more chocolate, I instead started writing a diary. I thought about how I feel while I eat chocolate and let the words flow.

 

Me too.  A person that I was really good friends with, who stabbed me in the back came into work during the last challenge.  When I got home, I grabbed 2 chocolate bars and was prepared to eat them.  I had 1 bite and just sat there, thinking.  I was fuming mad.  A realization came to me.  If I EAT those bars, I'll just be worse off.  I'm going to make myself better than her, not worse. I did a really intense workout; complete with swearing as I finished the last reps.  I was really proud of myself that day.

 

I realized that using food as a crutch in that situation is like poisoning yourself, and hoping the other person dies.  It just doesn't make sense.  You're better than that.  I'm glad you found writing as an outlet. For me, it's these forums.

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Me too.  A person that I was really good friends with, who stabbed me in the back came into work during the last challenge.  When I got home, I grabbed 2 chocolate bars and was prepared to eat them.  I had 1 bite and just sat there, thinking.  I was fuming mad.  A realization came to me.  If I EAT those bars, I'll just be worse off.  I'm going to make myself better than her, not worse. I did a really intense workout; complete with swearing as I finished the last reps.  I was really proud of myself that day.

 

I realized that using food as a crutch in that situation is like poisoning yourself, and hoping the other person dies.  It just doesn't make sense.  You're better than that.  I'm glad you found writing as an outlet. For me, it's these forums.

 

Thank you for sharing this, terosx! That's the exact same pattern I recognized yesterday: I was going to have some chocolate and throw the rest of the bar away in order to "not completely fail"... And then it hit me: that's what I always do. I will always keep doing this unless I do something else. I want to be able to have that bar of chocolate in the cabin without thinking about it all the time or snacking on it just for the sake of it. So, that's when I grabbed my pen and notebook and wrote about it. And it worked!

 

I have never really understood the term "emotional eating" until now. I thought emotional eating is caused by some extreme and difficult feelings that an emotional eater can easily recognize, but it really isn't the case with me... I can now see that I have some unclear feelings that I need to figure out. I feel like I've now taken the first step towards handling my feelings better. Working out is a great outlet, too! :)

-:*~ Journal ~*:-

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Thanks for sharing, Leeroy! It's good to know that we're not alone with our problems :) Maybe emotional eating is the illness and I've been trying to cure merely some symptoms such as snacking. I'm starting to see that I especially feel like going to the fridge when I'm bored. This has decreased snacking drastically. I'm very satisfied with this!

 

Quick stats for week #3:

 

Goal #1: B

Goal #2: B

Goal #3: A

 

General result: B+

 

Hold on... This is the final week?? Eep!

-:*~ Journal ~*:-

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Alright, the challenge is over! I'm just gonna wrap it up nicely...

 

Week #4:

Goal #1: C

Goal #2: B

Goal #3: A

 

I spent the week at my parents' house, and it was very difficult to eat healthy stuff x__x I also noticed that I get easily provoked by my dad... During my childhood he kept telling me to lose weight, so these days I sometimes notice I eat only to defy him. (I threaten people by eating. That's how I roll.) It was a good thing to realise, and it's probably another symptom of emotional eating. Gonna tackle it from now on.

Couldn't keep up with how much chocolate or dairy I ate exactly, but I actually learned 2 new ingredients I can use while cooking: beetroot and European cisco. They're cheap and delicious, and as a poor-ish art student I'm definitely gonna make them a part of my diet :)

 

Now I'm back in my own apartment, and couldn't be happier. I had received a letter from the social insurance institution, and they are going to keep paying me student financial aid! Last winter I was sick and fell behind with my studies. I've been worried that I would have to pay some money back or that I'd be paid nothing, but now that's all right. I've also made huge steps with my anxiety of eating almonds and nuts (it's a looong story, but eating them has almost triggered a panic attack in me). During the past few days I've eaten a few almonds and other nuts, and despite some anxiety I've been able to eat them just fine. I'm happy to have nuts back in my diet :)

 

So, points then!

 

Goal #1: Overall grade B, 2,25 points to Charisma.

Goal #2: Overall grade: B½, 4,25 points to Constitution

Goal #3: Overall grade: A, 2 points to Wisdom

Goal #4: Overall grade: A, 3 points to Wisdom

 

I got in late, but I'm happy with how this challenge went. I know now that I can keep eating yoghurt in check, and I control eating chocolate a bit better. I've learned to cook some new meals and manage my finances better. Not sure what I'll do during the next challenge, but we'll see :) Thank you for your support, everyone!

-:*~ Journal ~*:-

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