Rooks - Tracking the Daily Grind...

[The Most Loathed]

600 kg is no joke. What do you think those lifts will look like?

 

Any idea what meet you want to lift at?

[Rooks]

On 3/10/2018 at 3:35 AM, WhiteGhost said:

man, that sounds rough.  Hope you get some sleep tonight

 

Thanks. Friday wasn't much better, but luckily Saturday and Sunday improved a bit. Kiddo's attitude was still poop-tastic, but more on that down in the main post.

 

14 hours ago, The Most Loathed said:

600 kg is no joke. What do you think those lifts will look like?

 

Any idea what meet you want to lift at?

 

I'd really love to say say 225 Squat, 150 Bench, 225 Deadlift, but thinking about it somewhat pragmatically, I think it would have to be closer to 220 Squat, 130 Bench, and require a huge pull of 250. Given where I was (172/112/200), it's going to take huge amount of progress on everything. If I really start to get back into training and can maintain a consistent program I figure I can be back to where I was in 3 months. Then with the right coach and progress I figure 9 months to get the rest of it. It'll be aggressive as hell, but I'm a bit of tired of just trying to maintain. I need something to get my up off my butt and doing something.

 

Ideally, I'd love to lift at Relentless 2019. Getting up there for a cause would just be a great icing on the cake for getting back up on the platform. Right now, Relentless 2018 is July 13-14th. So assuming same schedule, that'd wouldn't really fit into "early" 2019, but it's a meet I found really cool the last time I went to it. Probably will try and attend this year again as spectator. Might even bring the kiddo.
 

http://www.relentlesspowerlifting.com/2018-2/

 

=====

So, very quick recap of the weekend, Friday night was not any better. Kiddo was cranky and very combative. She just completely loses her ability to communicate when she gets angry. Everything is a fight and you are wrong about everything. Simple things like "How can we help you kiddo?" are met with angry and screams. Trying to outline what she did and why it's wrong is met with "I didn't do that!" and more screams. The lying drives me insane. I can handle screams and rage and even physical abuse from her. But when you say "Why did you just throw your toy across the room?" and your met with "I didn't do that!", yet the toy is sitting on the floor next to me, I takes all I have to not start yelling. I don't know why that sets me off so, but it does. 

 

Anyway, like I said, sleep wasn't much better Friday night into Saturday. Luckily, my wife had planned a outing to go see a friend's new little baby girl. I was still sniffling, so I stayed home and had 5 hours to myself to recover. An hour was just watching random YT videos that popped up. Completely mindless clicking. Then, I started listening to a podcast and cleaning the house. Felt good to get some stuff done and just do what I want without being bothered. It was good for everyone as kiddo was a little angel with the new baby as well. So my wife had a good time (original plan was to be gone for ~2 hours, but it was going so well, she stayed way way longer). I didn't mind as I really needed a break. 

 

Saturday night went better, but we did resort to giving kiddo some melatonin right before bed. We've been trying to ween off that, but we all needed some good rest. 

 

Sunday was again pretty good, until we reached bedtime. We were having a Skype conversation with my parents, and like a light switch, nightmare kiddo came out to play. Told her it was time to say goodbye to my folks as it was late, and she wasn't talking to them anyway (she was snuggled up in my wife's arms). And the rage beast was out. Screaming and fighting ensued through bath time, through getting her pajamas on, through trying to get her to sleep. She passed out pretty quick from exhaustion, but it was a tough 90 minutes. At least she slept well, so I'm feeling alright at work today.

 

And she was happy as could be again this morning. Wished me the sweetest little "Happy Birthday Daddy!" followed by "Man, I was really upset last night." Ugh... anyway, it is indeed my birthday. No plans. Just hope to get in either a run, or a KB workout. Not sure what yet.

 

I'll leave you with my favorite song ever which I cranked on my way to work to improve my mood. Angus's solos are so top notch in this thing (especially the on starting at 14:50). There is one of his typical strip-teases where he gets down to his boxers (and 1/2 second of ass), so might not be super work appropriate, but I wouldn't label it NSFW. Just let it play in the background.

 

 

 

[Sylvaa]

7 minutes ago, Rooks said:

The lying drives me insane. I can handle screams and rage and even physical abuse from her. But when you say "Why did you just throw your toy across the room?" and your met with "I didn't do that!", yet the toy is sitting on the floor next to me, I takes all I have to not start yelling. I don't know why that sets me off so, but it does

 

SOLIDARITY! Oh man, this is totally one of my pet peeves too. I've literally punished all of the kids because no one would tell me the truth. (The whole lying thing is second only to "I forgot" as an excuse in my list of pet peeves). We actually initiated a specific lying punishment because I was so tired of this happening. I've got no solutions, but man, you are not alone.

[The Most Loathed]

11 minutes ago, Rooks said:

I'd really love to say say 225 Squat, 150 Bench, 225 Deadlift, but thinking about it somewhat pragmatically, I think it would have to be closer to 220 Squat, 130 Bench, and require a huge pull of 250. Given where I was (172/112/200), it's going to take huge amount of progress on everything.

50 kilos on squat and deadlift and nearly 40 on bench. You could do it but you have to figure out how you're going to negotiate this with your wife because you won't be able to let life get in the way. That load will fall to her or if you have a larger support network you can recruit, them. Do you have a coach in mind? I only know one and I honestly don't trust his judgement enough to recommend him. He'd get you to your weights but at the potential cost of your body.

Do you have a good powerlifting gym near you? I know you like lifting at home and I totally understand why but for this commitment it might be worth getting around some meatheads.

 

17 minutes ago, Rooks said:

She just completely loses her ability to communicate when she gets angry. Everything is a fight and you are wrong about everything. Simple things like "How can we help you kiddo?" are met with angry and screams. Trying to outline what she did and why it's wrong is met with "I didn't do that!" and more screams. The lying drives me insane.

I would not know what to do with this. At least with mostadults there's some nugget of rationality down there that you can get to but kids can just disengage from that and I don't know what to do at that point. 

[WhiteGhost]

Happy Birthday!  Glad to hear things got better, and hopefully that will extend at least through your b-day

[Rooks]

4 hours ago, The Most Loathed said:

50 kilos on squat and deadlift and nearly 40 on bench. You could do it but you have to figure out how you're going to negotiate this with your wife because you won't be able to let life get in the way. That load will fall to her or if you have a larger support network you can recruit, them. Do you have a coach in mind? I only know one and I honestly don't trust his judgement enough to recommend him. He'd get you to your weights but at the potential cost of your body.

Do you have a good powerlifting gym near you? I know you like lifting at home and I totally understand why but for this commitment it might be worth getting around some meatheads.

 

I'm going to be e-mailing Mark Schneider (bio) shortly. I went in and did a tour of the Movement Gym in general, but it felt very generalized where everyone at the gym followed a weekly gym program, which did offer some flexibility, but the movement you did was based on this really strange system that felt like some janky psuedo science called Bio Feedback. Basically, you did all the movements that were proposed with a light weight, and after you did them, you performed a standing pike stretch (no matter what the movement involved, i.e. deadlifts and overhead press had you perform the same standing pike to decide). Whichever movement allowed you to get the deepest in the pike, was the movement you were supposed to choose. In my head, this meant you'd always do the final exercise as your muscles became more and more warmed up. Anyway, that really threw me off, plus it was a bit much for what I'm looking to spend. Overall though, the culture seemed great. The coaches seemed nice. Everyone was greeting one another and it seemed like a really welcoming environment. Sort of like a crossfit environment without the intensity. Anyway... this isn't meant to be a bashing of the Movement, just not what I'm looking for. 

 

All the above said, I'm going to reach out to Mark and give him a bit about myself and see if he'd be interested in doing some coaching on the side. He participating in the only PL meet I've been a part of, and I watched him perfectly bury a perfect 205kg squat and a 260kg deadlift without sleeves or a belt. The dude knows how to move. Obviously, this doesn't' necessarily translate to being a great coach, but he did a podcast awhile back and listening to him speak made me thing he's at least got the right mindset to be a good coach. I honestly feel like I'm looking for someone to just keep me honest, someone to bounce ideas off once or twice a month, and to not be afraid to call me out on my shit. I'm also hopeful that I can keep any arrangement I find to be fairly cheap. The gym idea would be nice, but I really don't think I could sell the idea to my wife. I'd get the "We have a gym downstairs, use it!" answer and she's right. But a once or twice a month coach might be more sellable. 

 

So far, that's my only lead on a coach though. I've also thought about maybe doing online coaching through Travis Jewett, or the Kabuki Strength Lab, but I'd wager both of those are more than my budget would allow right now. 

 

But you also make a great point about my wife. I really do need her to buy into the goal as well. I honestly don't feel that it'll be that big of a time sync as I know once I get rolling with my workouts and find some consistency, my schedule probably won't change that much (I'll probably just shift an hour away from work which I tend to work 8 1/2 to 9 hours a day anyway). So that'll be something I need to bring up with her ASAP. 

 

And, I for sure am not looking to break myself to hit this goal. In fact, quite the opposite, I'm thinking the only way I hit that goal is if I can train through the timeframe and not break. So I'll pass on your coach.

For now though, I need to focus on the Hammer Race and getting through that. 

 

5 hours ago, Sylvaa said:

SOLIDARITY! Oh man, this is totally one of my pet peeves too. I've literally punished all of the kids because no one would tell me the truth. (The whole lying thing is second only to "I forgot" as an excuse in my list of pet peeves). We actually initiated a specific lying punishment because I was so tired of this happening. I've got no solutions, but man, you are not alone.

 

Good to know, I'm not alone. Ugh... it's just so infuriating. 

 

4 hours ago, WhiteGhost said:

Happy Birthday!  Glad to hear things got better, and hopefully that will extend at least through your b-day

 

Thank you sir. I hope so as well.

[The Most Loathed]

3 minutes ago, Rooks said:

I went in and did a tour of the Movement Gym in general, but it felt very generalized where everyone at the gym followed a weekly gym program, which did offer some flexibility, but the movement you did was based on this really strange system that felt like some janky psuedo science called Bio Feedback. Basically, you did all the movements that were proposed with a light weight, and after you did them, you performed a standing pike stretch (no matter what the movement involved, i.e. deadlifts and overhead press had you perform the same standing pike to decide). Whichever movement allowed you to get the deepest in the pike, was the movement you were supposed to choose. In my head, this meant you'd always do the final exercise as your muscles became more and more warmed up. Anyway, that really threw me off, plus it was a bit much for what I'm looking to spend. Overall though, the culture seemed great. The coaches seemed nice. Everyone was greeting one another and it seemed like a really welcoming environment. Sort of like a crossfit environment without the intensity. Anyway... this isn't meant to be a bashing of the Movement, just not what I'm looking for. 

I will actually vouch for this. I used this technique for about 2 years while rehabbing from a back injury. I can say that I made good progress and stayed injury free. Was it because of the bio-feedback, I can't say for sure.

I totally understand your reservations but will say that it doesn't work that the last movement is always the best. Generally I found that I could determine if it was a better "pulling" or "pushing" day based on the technique and when I tried to go against it, I underperformed the days that I went with it. That said, it's terrible for doing competition programming because even though you really need to work on your deadlifts, you just may not for a week.

[Sloth the Enduring]

Happy Birthday Rooks! I hope it’s as chill as you want it to be.

 

Put in the that’s a huge pet peeve camp as well as the I have no idea what to do about it camp.

 

TML makes a real good point about support. Even at my low level of competition I wouldn’t be able to do it with out Mrs. Sloth’s buy in and support.

 

Gah. That song is so great. I first saw AC/DC in ‘81 the For Those About to Rock tour. I can’t believe Angus Young is still going strong. I wonder what the secret to his longevity is.

 

[Elastigirl]

Happy Birthday!

 

 

 

[Rooks]

18 hours ago, The Most Loathed said:

I will actually vouch for this. I used this technique for about 2 years while rehabbing from a back injury. I can say that I made good progress and stayed injury free. Was it because of the bio-feedback, I can't say for sure.

I totally understand your reservations but will say that it doesn't work that the last movement is always the best. Generally I found that I could determine if it was a better "pulling" or "pushing" day based on the technique and when I tried to go against it, I underperformed the days that I went with it. That said, it's terrible for doing competition programming because even though you really need to work on your deadlifts, you just may not for a week.

 

Interesting. It's good to hear from someone outside the gym that it's a system that people use. Perhaps I'll do some research today and see what I can find in relation to articles around it.

 

17 hours ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

Happy Birthday Rooks! I hope it’s as chill as you want it to be.

 

Put in the that’s a huge pet peeve camp as well as the I have no idea what to do about it camp.

 

TML makes a real good point about support. Even at my low level of competition I wouldn’t be able to do it with out Mrs. Sloth’s buy in and support.

 

Gah. That song is so great. I first saw AC/DC in ‘81 the For Those About to Rock tour. I can’t believe Angus Young is still going strong. I wonder what the secret to his longevity is.

 

 

I've only been to handful of concerts in my life, but one was the ACDC Black Ice Tour back in 2008 or 2009 (can't remember which of the two shows I went to). I think it was the November one but whatever. Angus was just as wild that night as he was in that 1991 video. Just yesterday after listening to most of AC/DC Live, I went and started reading their Wiki. Crazy to see how Angus is the only remaining original member, and Axl Rose is the lead singer now. What sorta messed up world is this?

 

17 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

Happy Birthday!

 

Thanks Elastigirl!

 

=====

Birthday was solid. I didn't get much done at work, but whatever. Live has been pretty quiet in my job since our big release a few weeks back. I did manage to get down to the treadmill. Mashed out 3.1 miles in 39:00 minutes. Did 1 mile at 6 MPH, then took 0.3 at 3MPH walk, then did 0.7 miles at 6MPH, then 0.3 at 3MPH. It was at this point, my ego took over and told me I could do the last 0.8 miles at 7.5 - 8MPH. Yeah... that didn't work out so well. I made it about 2 minutes before completely gassing out and from there on, it was much walking.

 

Then I did some lat pulldowns just to get some upper back work. Just did a bunch at moderate weight and contracted the muscles as hard as I could. I was quite surprised to find my lats were quite sore when I awoke this morning.

 

Dinner was a top notch steak made my wife. Marvel at the marbling.

 

Then, I drank a bit much. Oh well... I'm probably going to take the next week or so off again in hopes of shedding some more pounds. 

 

Weight was 213 this morning. I'm thinking I'm going to try and get a stretch routine in today, but we shall see.

 

Rooks' question of the day. I've really been struggling to meld two worlds lately. I see Gymnastics Bodies and anecdotal stories of people like Joe Rogan and David Goggins, talking about the importance of yoga and/or stretching and how the act of adding this to their routines yields great benefits to mobility and longevity and injury prevention. Yet, I'm also hearing the camp of Dr. Stu McGill talking about how stretching can actually exacerbate back injuries and you should working on just strengthening the core in non-movement ways (i.e. have a really strong core that doesn't really want to move).

 

Obviously, you are talking two different camps of people. People who want a core that can hold up with 1k on their backs versus people are looking to move a lot (Rogan, Goggins, Gymnasts). So maybe it's as simple as that. That stretching might not be ideal for a powerlifter. But at the same time, I know I have super tight hamstrings and when I stretch them routinely, my lower back feels better. Anyway, something that I need to find more info on. 

 

I feel like the answer is there somewhere, and I really need to read McGill's books before I even further comment on what he's actually prescribing. Maybe I'm just misunderstanding his take. 

[WhiteGhost]

I have only just started really seeing the importance of stretching for me, as it is getting to he point that mobility is restricting my exercise activities. One of the things I recently discovered is that a lot of stretching is actually bulding strength and it not only strengthens the muscles in question but also builds stability.  Perhaps instead of being an either/or question, I think the better question is "what is the best way to stretch to meet my fitness objectives?"

[Elastigirl]

I heard Dr McGill on a podcast  describe it exactly the way you said, if you are doing a bunch of heavy lifting then stretching may harm you , if you are doing more gymnastic stuff, then you might want to bend more. For me, I don't do much heavy lifting, and I feel like the stretching and gymnastic stuff helps my back.

[Sloth the Enduring]

Focus on Loosening up your hips brother. You sit too much. Use yoga or GMB. Then add a stability focus through McGill’s big three. Then get strong af.


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[The Most Loathed]

My two bits on your two worlds delimma:

• Some people stretch, some people don't. Some people break, some people don't. They aren't neccessarily causal.
• A lot of yoga and a lot of what Gymnastic Bodies does is not what most people would call stretching. 
• Powerlifters, specifically, are famous getting themselve immoble INTO stability. You can probably only help yourself with mobiity until you start doing lifts that have 4 digits. 

[Rooks]

Yeah. Probably a case where I'm over thinking it. For now, I'm going to try and get my stretch routines in on my off days. 

 

Tuesday, I was pretty slow the whole day (as a result of too much imbibing Monday). Yesterday, I got to work a bit late due to a car maintenance appointment, but I did manage to get in another 5k on the treadmill. 34:49 so I shaved 4 minutes off Monday's time. I went into the run with the goal of 35 minutes, and about 2 miles in I thought I was going to hit 32 minutes. But alas I hit a pretty big wall at 2.4 mile mark and needed to walk for quite a bit. But I did pump at the last 0.5 mile at 7MPH and the last 0.1 at 8MPH. I was firmly gassed at the end of that run so I did what I could. I'm happy with that.

 

I did shoot out an e-mail to the perspective coach listed above yesterday. Now we wait and see what his response is.

 

I might try to get outside for an outdoor run on Saturday this weekend. Supposed to be 45 here, so should be a lovely day for a run. I always do better on outdoor runs anyway as opposed to treadmills as I can work on spotting something to run to, then another thing, and another, etc. I think I'll aim for a 33 minute 5k, but I'm really going to have to hold myself back in the beginning. I fully know with the warm weather, I'll probably want to come out at way too quick of a pace.

 

 

[Sloth the Enduring]

Oh Jeez, you’ve been running. I’m going to have to start now.


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[Rooks]

What up NF? For the few folks who might still stumble upon this, I'm still not dead. And I've actually been working out again.

 

Been going on a lot of walks and getting in 2-4 sessions with the weights per week. Most sessions include a set of 2 handed KB swings EMOM as well just to get some cardio work in as well.

 

Actually hit a bench PR of 255 not too long ago. Was sort of dumbfounded on where that came from give how little I've benched in the last year or so. That said, I think my back is stronger for some reason, probably tied to all the hanging I do now-a-days to try and improve grip and my pull-ups. Here's a quick video.

 

 

That said, I know I'm not doing anywhere near enough prehab work, whether it being stretching, mobility, or just simple movement stuff, but I figure I'll keep working in stuff as habits get built up again more and more. 

 

I'm realizing that it might be time to really cut back on the alcohol consumption. I'm definitely not an alcoholic or anything like that, but there's definitely a urge to have a beer with dinner and that usually leads to at least 1-2 after the kiddo goes to bed. And when that happens, my odds of getting up at my desired 5:30am go from about 85% success to about 30% success. My sleep quality just plummets if I'm drinking the night before. It's astonishing how much it changes. And not only that, but if I don't get a workout in, then my mood at work is worse, I'm more likely to just eat crap. It all just snowballs from that one morning workout. So yeah, if I do desire to get this sack of meat working more efficiently, it might be time to cut way back. Not sure what that means yet, but it might finally be time to have that discussion.

 

@The Most Loathed and @Sloth the Enduring, I might not be able to do the Fall Hammer Race. There's a church vacation that we've gone to 3 years in a row now happening that weekend. I think the kiddo would be pretty bummed if didn't go, but at the same time, Danika seemed to indicate she wasn't sure if we should go and would be fine if I choose the Hammer Race instead. So yeah... I don't know. Figured I'd give you a guys a heads up though.

 

And I leave you with a new jam that I've been rocking to lately. 

 

 

[WhiteGhost]

Good to see you back, was wondering how things have been going for you lately

[The Most Loathed]

I appreciate the heads up. glad to see that you're keeping at it. Are you still on track for your powerlifting meet?

[Rooks]

On 6/9/2018 at 12:38 AM, WhiteGhost said:

Good to see you back, was wondering how things have been going for you lately

 

Things are going. I won't say well, but I'm at least doing something which is better than the past few months.

 

On 6/9/2018 at 5:43 AM, The Most Loathed said:

I appreciate the heads up. glad to see that you're keeping at it. Are you still on track for your powerlifting meet?

 

Unsure. Right now, I've really just been feeling out how my body handles training on regular interval again and seeing what I'm capable of. I've hit a 355 Sumo DL and a 355 Conventional DL. Conventional still felt more powerful, but I feel safer doing Sumo. Not sure if that's just mental or actually a thing. Also, hit a few 315 squats. Those felt heavy. Also, all my training has been beltless. Haven't started throwing that back on yet. So yeah. The 255 bench gives me hope assuming I can keep working my squats and deadlifts. But I think for now, I'm going to enjoy the concept of training on the regular again and not push anything too hard. Definitely only training a movement once a week and I'm trying to get 3 days between squat and deadlift. Plus still getting some rucks in, and I'm doing some KB strict press days. Honestly think that'll help my bench as well as I feel way more sore after those days than I do after just a strict bench day.

 

 

[Rooks]

Not a full update, but had to post this somewhere. This morning's workout was deadlifts where I was doing triples at 300. Got my first 4 sets done, then decided to AMRAP the 5th set. Finished at 10. That felt flat out amazing. It's all coming back. 

[Sloth the Enduring]

Nice job. It’s good to see the old Rooks coming back.

[Rooks]

Life. It's a trip, ain't it?

 

The last couple weeks have been very introspective. We found out about a month ago, that my Step-Father-in-Law was diagnosed with untreatable pancreatic cancer (it had already spread quite far, gave him a few weeks). It was a big shocker since we had him ear-marked as one of the grandparents that was going to live the longest. Yesterday, he passed away. I didn't know him well, nor did my wife for that matter, but at the same time, it's been brutal on my Mother-In-Law so my wife has done what she can to be there for her mom. Also, he was really good with Sloan, and explaining to your 4.5yo that papa died isn't fun. She seemed to take it quite well (her exact response was "Oh. So that means it'll just be Nana at their house now? That's sad." Pauses for 3 seconds. "Can one of you read me a book?"), but who really knows how much she's grasping. So yeah... this sort of stuff makes you reflect. Realize how trivial and fleeting it all is. I really hope I'm right about their being an afterlife cause fuck... if there's not and its just lights out at the end... how scary is that.
 

So yeah, life just keeps rolling and doing what it's going, no matter how much we think we control it. Workouts haven't happened since my wife has spent quite a bit of time over at her mom's place helping out over the last week. But really, that doesn't matter. It's more important to be there for family when they need it.

 

Anyway, figured I'd come write something. Oh... speaking of writing something. Anyone of guys ever done anything with blogs? I've been thinking about starting one. I started trying to make Instagram posts my outlet for my thoughts writing up >1000 characters with each post, but quickly realized that most of the time, I blow by their 2200 character limit with ease, so I end up scrapping the post. So yeah... if you've ever blogged, let me know your thoughts. Otherwise, maybe I'll just try and make my thoughts more concise and stick with the 'Gram. 

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Sorry for your family's loss. I tried a blog once back when blogs were getting big. I found trying to come up with something new on a regular basis got to be a grind.

[The Most Loathed]

On 6/21/2018 at 1:59 PM, Rooks said:

Anyway, figured I'd come write something. Oh... speaking of writing something. Anyone of guys ever done anything with blogs? I've been thinking about starting one. I started trying to make Instagram posts my outlet for my thoughts writing up >1000 characters with each post, but quickly realized that most of the time, I blow by their 2200 character limit with ease, so I end up scrapping the post. So yeah... if you've ever blogged, let me know your thoughts. Otherwise, maybe I'll just try and make my thoughts more concise and stick with the 'Gram. 

I have done a lot with blogs. I've been toying with the idea of going back to one actually. Even though they are pretty outdated.

My weapon of choice is Wordpress. It's an interesting mix of being totally prefab when you walk in but giving a lot of opportunity for customization. If you head to wordpress.com you can set up a blog pretty quickly. You end up making some choices very blind but know that you can change literally everything. If you ever decide you want to move your blog to your own domain and service provider, it's pretty easy to stand up your own Wordpress instance. I had one that I hosted for a while that several people worked off of. 

If you want something that requires next to no set up but gives you fewer customization options down the line, Blogger works really well. I used it back in 2012 for 3 posts apparently. My memory is that it the simplest I've ever used.

As far as I know, there is no bad platform to blog from. I think that this point they can all transfer from one to another without too much pain. 

If you want to have more of a conversation on it, feel free to contact me through any tool of your choices (I think you have my number and email and everything) and we can talk that way or meet up and I'm happy to help you get rolling if you'd like. 

 

 

Bummer about step father-in-law but it sounds like you guys are all dealing with it, even the little one. We also try to do the math of who out of that generation will be hanging around the longest but at the end of the day, sometimes you just roll a 1.