Rooks - Tracking the Daily Grind...

[Rooks]

On 12/18/2017 at 4:04 PM, Sylvaa said:

I find that I continue to isolate myself and I can tell you it's not the right solution. I've tried to find common ground OR looked to more non-traditional sources. My closest friend on my current project is old enough to be my father. He's no one that I would probably choose to hang out with, but we both love sports (and the same conference / division depending on the sport) and we talk about our family. 

 

That's good advice as much as I want to just isolated because damn if that's not easier. 

 

On 12/18/2017 at 4:11 PM, The Most Loathed said:

But at the end of the day, any one of us who posts on this forum is weird and those of us who have been doing so for years are probably doubly so. I wouldn't trade it for "normal" any day.

 

I guess that's probably true. I feel like I own being abnormal pretty well, it just gets old when no one that is supposedly friends with me wants to talk about stuff I care about.

 

19 hours ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

Smash!?! You make me laugh puny mortal.

 

 

19 hours ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

Of course, why do you think I'm on here so much. Re-assess all you want. The real problem is how do you find people to hang with, that have the same interests and goals, and that have time, and aren't already socially full up.

 

That's really great insight, specifically the socially full up part. I've met some really great people in the last few years that I really wanted to get to know more, but they were feel like the type of people who have 150 friends. It just feels like you are barging in, to try and get to know them, which feels so fake. Ugh... adulting is hard. 

 

On 12/18/2017 at 4:45 PM, scalyfreak said:

Everyone except me is weird and crazy, and has strange priorities and dumb hobbies. I'm the only one I know who is even remotely close to being normal.

 

I'm close to just putting that in my signature.  

 

On 12/18/2017 at 10:28 PM, WhiteGhost said:

Huh, and here I thought this was stereotypical Chinese...  Maybe this is just typical human behaviour and any of us who feel otherwise are the weird ones?  I sure feel like most of the people I know have only one hobby in life and that is getting money    I really struggle finding people who have the same interests as me, which is why I spend so much time here at NF.  I feel like here I have finally found a group of people I feel comfortable hanging around with

 

Whenever I talk with the "normal" people, I always feel like most of their problems are just so stupid and self-imposed. I'm mostly surrounded by upper middle class people since that's what I am, and just the amount of stupid I see. Talking about not having enough money while making more than enough, but not even doing simple stuff like making a monthly deposits into savings or making a budget. Or being the opposite where they are so focused on money and spending hours looking at the stock market and day trading at their current job. Or just complaining about their jobs like they are so horrible, but they don't take any personal responsibility for things. 

[Machete]

On 12/18/2017 at 4:46 PM, Rooks said:

 

I unloaded most of my "game tokens" (even though it's all on credit card like things now) on Big Buck Hunter and Time Crisis 5. Although, I'm no where near as good as that guy. I did step foot on Pump It Up (DDR clone with diagonal arrows) and got up to a 5-foot difficulty song without too much trouble. Then, a young lady came in with yoga pants on and started dominating some songs that were using both pads. It was unreal. Wasn't quite as good as this fella, but pretty similar.

 

Yeah, haha, Time Crisis. It's like driving stick; you have to multi-task. Someone was trying to talk to me mid-level and I yelled, "GODDAMN IT AARON, CAN'T YOU SEE I'M SAVING THE WORLD FROM TERRORISM?" Pretty fun stuff.

 

On 12/18/2017 at 4:46 PM, Rooks said:

First, I finally came up with another question. Do other people feel like almost everyone they interact with on a daily basis is basically in a completely different universe in terms of things they enjoy?

 

We're nerds. We get to enjoy things. Intensely.

 

On 12/21/2017 at 9:34 AM, Rooks said:

Whenever I talk with the "normal" people, I always feel like most of their problems are just so stupid and self-imposed. I'm mostly surrounded by upper middle class people since that's what I am, and just the amount of stupid I see. Talking about not having enough money while making more than enough, but not even doing simple stuff like making a monthly deposits into savings or making a budget. Or being the opposite where they are so focused on money and spending hours looking at the stock market and day trading at their current job. Or just complaining about their jobs like they are so horrible, but they don't take any personal responsibility for things. 

 

I think a lack of self-awareness is inherent in everyone. That's why coaches exist. (End of plug.) Even some of my co-workers who [kind of] share a common interest. They work in the fitness/martial arts industry and one would expect them to know better. They don't. One is still expecting to see her abs after 3 days on a diet, and another is still spazzing-out on his training partners and saying that he doesn't want to compete in Jiu-jitsu because "there are too many rules;" despite dealing with countless clowns walking in with the same exact concerns on a daily basis. It's like the people who "will do anything to lose weight" but for some reason can't be bothered to track their calories. They have all the tools to succeed; they just don't use any of them.

 

 

It's only funny because it's in the third person. I've probably been in a similar situation multiple times. (I believe even the exact same one at least once.)

[Scaly Freak]

On 12/21/2017 at 7:34 AM, Rooks said:

I'm close to just putting that in my signature.  

 

 

Go for it, I don't care.  

 

On 12/21/2017 at 7:34 AM, Rooks said:

Whenever I talk with the "normal" people, I always feel like most of their problems are just so stupid and self-imposed. I'm mostly surrounded by upper middle class people since that's what I am, and just the amount of stupid I see. Talking about not having enough money while making more than enough, but not even doing simple stuff like making a monthly deposits into savings or making a budget. Or being the opposite where they are so focused on money and spending hours looking at the stock market and day trading at their current job. Or just complaining about their jobs like they are so horrible, but they don't take any personal responsibility for things. 

 

That used to be me. I'm happier now... proactively doing things to take control over my life rather than just react to what happens around me is a lot less stressful.

 

I don't think it's stupidity, by the way (mainly because I am not a stupid person ). I think it's a combination of really not knowing any other way of doing things. As we grow up we look to the men and women around us and learn from their behavior what is acceptable, expected, desired of us... we copy what we see them do and grow up learning what to expect from life from what they got. Personally, I'm convinced that's why so many from that upper middle-class group you talked about suffer from anxiety as they start to approach their 30th and/or 40th birthdays. Because they believe they're way behind on what they were supposed to have accomplished at that point in their life. They look at the highlight reels of everyone around them and come to the conclusion that everyone else is doing better than they did... and so they go out and buy a new car or trade some more stock, and make sure they can feel accomplished and superior that they at least did that one thing a little bit better than everyone else.

 

No, I'm not bitter. Why do you ask?  

[Rooks]

Been quite awhile since I posted anything (almost a full month at this point) and honestly, it's been a pretty rough stretch. Boiled down, there was more sicknesss, mashed my toe with a 3/4" sheet of plywood (luckily didn't break it), a late night ER trip for kiddo which included an MRI, more sickness, and just all around lack of motivation for basically anything fitness related, mostly because my foot really flipping hurt up until about 3 days ago.

 

Overall, I've been really struggling to stay positive lately. Everything seems to turn my mind down a dark corner. Yesterday, it was the fact that kiddo didn't really want to eat dinner for the 2nd night in a row. Lunch and breakfast have been fine (for the most part), but after being sick last week, and now she's not eating dinner and not really pooping (which has been a thing for 12 months as the regimen of drugs she's on causes constipation), clearly, it can only be the worst of all worsts for me, that she's dying. Rationally, it just doesn't even make sense, and the second, I spend any time thinking through this scenarios, I get angry at myself for even thinking them, but yet these type of thoughts keep coming.

 

But, honestly, I feel like this negativity has branched across so much of my life lately. 

 

For example, I've been struggling with finding connection with people around me. So often, I feel like my family's story pushes people away. We get to know people, and then finally drop the bomb on them about kiddo. You can literally see the thoughts run across their faces and you quickly find them not really wanting to talk about it, first, because they have no idea what to say (I don't blame them for that), and second, because they don't want to think about it happening to them. And then suddenly, the conversations moving forward are never very deep or engaging. It's depressing to know that my life story is depressing to other people. 

 

At work, things are just blah right now. It's a great company, but I'm really in a position where I'm given almost no direction. I'm tasked with validating a few things every day and I do, but there's no long projects or anything big that I'm being given. I keep getting told I'm doing very important work and it's helping greatly, but it feels minimalistic and like I could be doing more. Yet, I don't seek it out, because I don't want to. Long term, I don't want to be in the tech industry, which I dive into more later.

 

I've been finding myself more and more frustrated with kiddo. Feels like I'm explaining the same crap over and over again. Dinner is always "please eat your food" and "sit in your chair properly". Bedtime is always "Please, kiddo. It's time to get pajamas on, not run around the house". All of these either lead to being ignored, which just irritates me to no end, or to her throwing a tantrum. And of course, going to one of the earlier points, my head keeps wondering how much all the fucking drugs we are pumping into her are changing her. Are they doing this or is she just being 4? 

 

I've been struggling with my faith lately. I've been a Christian my whole life, and I still truly believe that something exists that created the universe, it's just too complicated to not be true in my opinion. But overall, I'm really struggling to see how it can be the "Christian" God. First, because there is so much shit in this word. If God truly is the definition of love, and God loves us, why is there this much shit? And I feel like I know the answers that are typically given, and I just don't like any of it. And if it's not that, then what if I'm wrong about the creator and life just ends when you die. The lights go out and no more. That's the fucking scariest fucking thing to me. You have this life, where it's all experiences and wonder and awe and pain and agony and then poof it's over and your dirt, and it doesn't fucking matter. Ugh...

 

Getting back to the idea of getting out of tech, I'm feeling more and more that tech really is driving seperation in our lives and I'm wondering if I really want to be part of the industry. For now, I'm basically stuck (in a way) because the health insurance is a requirement for ANY job, and the money is great for paying down the mortgage. But, tech just seems to drive wedges between us, or cause agony in our life in the name of convenience. On a semi-tangent, I think I'm going to fully shutdown my social media accounts soon. I've already deleted all the apps from my phone. Learning how these companies are designing these apps to be digital crack just makes me sick. The fucking likes and comments all just drawing you in, making you crave posting more and more. Scares me how easy I fall prey to that crap. Hence, I'm staying away as best I can for now. I'm torn between just leaving the accounts active and checking them on my computer periodically or just shutting them down for good. The feeling is fueled by FOMO definitely, but really, maybe that's just more of how they keep you there. 

 

The whole social media thing really came to me after Saturday, where I helped my neighbor. I hesitate to even write this out rather than simply say I helped him with something not many people would volunteer for, but I guess I view this more as a semi journal that people can read over a system for likes. So my neighbor's wife had her 2nd stroke back in November. She's gotta re-learn how to walk and talk. It's not a great situation. Anyway, it was -5F (-20C for you intelligent metric people) out on Saturday, but he had to build this ramp since she won't be able to use stairs. I suited up in the winter gear and helped him build it for 3.5 hours. We used power tools. Drank a few beers. And we talked. We talked sports, and cars, and we even briefly lamented on the shit in our lives. And, it was fantastic. It truly felt like a connection to just be with another human and talk and help them. To know their shit, and know that he knows my shit and just be there for him. And when it was done, I found myself wanting to take a picture and share it on Instagram. It made me want to vomit as the thought crossed my mind. I wanted to share that story so I could get a bunch of likes for my helping this man and a bunch of comments about how it's too cold to be doing that. Sickening. But, on the positive, it was a fleeting thought. And honestly, I woke up Sunday feeling happier than I've felt in a long while.

 

Sorry for all the rambling. As you can tell, I'm not in the best of head spaces. But maybe writing this out will help. Who knows. There's a part of me that wants to do it, so I'm feeding the craving. I did finally get back in the gym last night, and developed a plan that I can stick to. For those following along, the workout was as follows:

• Bench - 45/10, 95/5, 135/5, 185/1
• Bench (w/ Slingshot) - 215/5 x 2
• Bench - 160/5 x 5
• GB Core Routine
• GB Lower Body Routine

Overall, was a pretty easy bench day. Will probably bump the weights a smidge next week. Meant to get some pull-ups or chin-ups at the beginning, but just forgot until near the end, and the pull-up bar makes the floor squeak like crazy just under kiddo's room and she was long asleep. Anywho, I'll leave you with a quote from Mr. Martin Luther King Jr., who's birthday was celebrated yesterday here in the States. I hope the best for anyone reading this.

 

[Laghail]

Thanks for sharing Rooks. Keep on man.

[Sloth the Enduring]

It's nice seeing you again Rooks. A lot of what you posted sounds like being 4. It's hard enough, I can't imagine how much the meds and everything compound it all.

I had a similar crisis of faith. Let's just say the I'm not in good standing with the Lord right. The question of why God created, or allows, a world with so much pain and suffering is one of the big ones. If you figure out an answer, let me know. That sounds more trite than I intended... I came away from it deciding that what was important was to make things better here and now as best we can, just in case this is all there is. You'll find your answer, but it may not be easy.

You always seem to enjoy when you've done/ built something concrete and tangible. You're not a man of this century.

You ever want to grab a beer, Sunday's are best for me. I've been meaning to check out Up-Down bar and see what @The Most Loathed dislikes about it. I'm not very talkative though.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Rooks, I got directed here by someone concerned. I'm sorry you've got so much going on in your life. I think anyone in your position would be questioning their faith. In fact, if it can't be questioned it isn't really Faith. I've never been where you are, but I have helped people in similar situations (I'm a Hospital and Police Chaplain). Feel free to PM if you ever need to talk. I can't necessarily give you any answers, but I'll for sure help you wrestle the questions.

[Elastigirl]

Hugs and prayers to you Rooks. You have gone through a lotfor an extended time. As far as not really feeling positive, sometimes I've found that I don't allow myself to hurt, or grieve, or get angry, because I'm afraid I will just get stuck there and not move on. But, giving myself permission to feel those feelings and process them actually helps me. Maybe you need to just give yourself to not be positive and let yourself grieve the fact that your daughter doesn't have a typical childhood, and feel angry that she is so ill.  Same thing with your faith, let God know you are angry and hurt. Reading through the Psalms, you will see that David often asked the same questions.

 

I wish I had a quick answer to your question , something concise and perfect, but I don't. I do know that after wrestling with those questions myself , I realized how many blessings God has given us, and so much to be thankful for, and that I believe God is working in our lives ,even through the tough stuff.  As I write that, I hope it doesn't come across as saying that you are wrong for doubting, because I understand, I just wanted to share what my  wrestling with the question has taught me. Praying for you.

[Elastigirl]

2 hours ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

ou always seem to enjoy when you've done/ built something concrete and tangible. You're not a man of this century.

I just wanted to add my second to this. I know for my husband  spending time building something is a great stress reliever. And double bonus if you can actually do it with someone and get friendship +  finished goal.

[Sylvaa]

I've been thinking about you - I was wondering if everything was okay.

 

I get it with the social media thing. I've stepped away a lot from being active on social media because I've realized that it doesn't matter. I enjoy being able to stay involved with my family, since they don't live close, but other than that - I don't need a ton of followers to make me me.

 

Your daughter's actions seem to me like the normal acts of a 4 year old. As soon as I figure out when it'll get better, I'll let you know! But it is super frustrating. I can say that she will grow out of the tantrum part of that phase though! No one ever tells you how frustrating being a parent is. Solidarity!

 

It always seems like things snowball. Like, once one thing stops giving you a break, then everything else just seems to get in line and fall apart. With me personally, a lot of it is the headspace I get myself into - I start almost looking for things to be wrong. No advice, but when you figure out what to do, I'll be waiting to hear what works for you!

 

I've got a very ... nontraditional view of faith. If you're interested, I'd be happy to share. But I can absolutely say that I've had your crisis of faith before. I don't have any answers. But I know how hard it is when it shakes your foundation. 

[WhiteGhost]

I don't have much to add other than I have seen a number of 4 year olds with much worse behavior problems, and that is without all of the other issues she (and you) and facing.  With regard to your faith, the only advice I have is to listen to Tank (do I need to insert a trademark logo here for that?), I think his comment about if it can't be questioned it isn't really faith is spot on.

 

I can also see how working on tech may seem like it is progressing something negative, but there is also a lot of positive that comes from it.  Sure the companies focus on driving likes and stickiness to drive profit, but there are benefits that come from being able to stay in close contact with others.  Technology is a tool that can be used to waste away our lives but like any tool it can also be be used to improve lives.  Without the technology that goes into things like facebook, we wouldn't have places like NF that are supportive and provide a platform to support others as we all work to improve our lives.

[WhiteGhost]

Hey, everything going ok @Rooks?  Haven't seen you around for a while

[Rooks]

On 2/21/2018 at 9:23 AM, WhiteGhost said:

Hey, everything going ok @Rooks?  Haven't seen you around for a while

 

Yes and no. It's a never ending rollercoaster for me (as with most people). 

 

Let's see, since my last post on January 15th, it's been more of the same. Workouts... looking through my notes, I see a conditioning workout on the January 30th, a Squat Workout on Feb 19th, and a Squat and Bench workout on 2/23. That's it. Im too the point where I'm seriously beginning to wonder if I'm going to be in any shape to actually attempt the Hammer Race. I've been joking with @Sloth the Enduring and @The Most Loathed , but sadly, it'll almost assuredly be me dragging the pace down if they are running with me. I don't know. I've still got 47 days before the race which is a decent enough amount of time to build something of a cardio base. But given how inconsistent my workouts have been, how often I've been coming down with illness, it'll be interesting to see if I can put together something in that time.

 

Some of the things that have happened during this past month. Our household had a bout with the flu that started with my daughter (which meant an ER trip, luckily it was only a few hours). But she shared it with me. Both of us were down for about 6.5 days. My wife luckily avoided it, but more stress on her as she's caring for the rest of the house. We've had some decent snow falls here in the Cities over the past month so there's been a few days with a LOT of shoveling. It's times like this where I seriously consider getting a snowblower, but it's just another thing, and if I'm really just required to do some extra cardio 8 days a year, is that really the end of the world? This past weekend, I did that previously mentioned Squat and Bench workout. It was pretty high intensity to the point where I felt pretty sick afterwards. Ended up sleeping 12 hours and 11 hours Saturday and Sunday night respectively and had some intestinal distress, to put it nicely. Feeling better finally this morning, but never actually worked out to the point of making myself sick before. Probably not the only cause, but sort of seems that way right now. 

 

Otherwise, life has been pretty much the same crap day in, day out. Wake up, work, eat, put the kid to bed, and some combination of drinking beer, reading books, chatting with my wife, and TV. 

 

I have been thinking a lot about the future lately. Things that I don't want to be left undone. One thing that's really been sticking with me lately is my dad. It's really really hard to talk with him, especially lately, as he's just always in his phone or his laptop. His hearing isn't the best, so that just makes things that much worse. He can immerse himself in those and not feel left out. But anyway, I've realized I know so little about his life. He lost a leg when he was 19 in a construction accident, but I think was still in the Army (I think he was a shooting instructor, a fleeting knowledge nugget I have from my younger years). But anyway, I want to get to know him more. I've been thinking about writing up an e-mail asking him a few things and seeing if it'll open the doors a bit. I've tried a few times when I'm back home to discuss things with him or just sit down and "have a beer" type conversations, but he never seems to be interested. Anyway, if any of have any experience starting conversations with people who don't seem interested, I'd be curious to hear your takes.  

 

[Shello]

9 minutes ago, Rooks said:

I've been thinking about writing up an e-mail asking him a few things and seeing if it'll open the doors a bit. I've tried a few times when I'm back home to discuss things with him or just sit down and "have a beer" type conversations, but he never seems to be interested. Anyway, if any of have any experience starting conversations with people who don't seem interested, I'd be curious to hear your takes.  

Sadly, I tried the same thing with my grandmother but started it too late.  She lived up north so I didn't see her in person often.  I finally got around to sending her an email with some questions about her life.  I figured I'd start there and ask more questions as she answered.  She passed away before she had a chance to respond to the first email.  If he's relunctant, maybe the best option is to use his preferred medium. Ultimately, it probably doesn't matter which you choose.  It's more important to just get the conversation started.  

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

I think Shello's right about using tech to communicate. Think how easily some of us communicate through NF. Emailing or texting might be best for you, it could also nicely circumvent the hearing issues.

[Elastigirl]

I'd say you can count shoveling snow as workouts.

 

[Sloth the Enduring]

Gotta agree with the folks above. If stepsloth wanted to start talking to me, something with a screen would help us break our bad communication habits.

This year’s flu was a killer, but you better start working out, I don’t want to feel bad when I kick your ass.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[The Most Loathed]

5 hours ago, Rooks said:

it'll almost assuredly be me dragging the pace down if they are running with me. I don't know. I

I hope I'm not too much of a jerk for saying this but I'm honestly not planning on running with you guys. I do intend to beat you both. I'll be happy to hand you a cold beer as you cross the line too but for the 90 minutes I'm on the course, you guys are nobody to me

 

5 hours ago, Rooks said:

I've been thinking about writing up an e-mail asking him a few things

I didn't know my father especially well but a few years before he died we bonded over some workout videos I sent him (longer story). I'm really glad it happened. I say give it a go. 

[Rooks]

21 hours ago, LadyShello said:

Sadly, I tried the same thing with my grandmother but started it too late.  She lived up north so I didn't see her in person often.  I finally got around to sending her an email with some questions about her life.  I figured I'd start there and ask more questions as she answered.  She passed away before she had a chance to respond to the first email.  If he's relunctant, maybe the best option is to use his preferred medium. Ultimately, it probably doesn't matter which you choose.  It's more important to just get the conversation started.  

 

17 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I think Shello's right about using tech to communicate. Think how easily some of us communicate through NF. Emailing or texting might be best for you, it could also nicely circumvent the hearing issues.

 

I sent an e-mail yesterday and the initial response was positive. He wrote a quick blurb about how I was doing something he never did with his dad, and that he had learned a ton after his dad died (last year). Said he'd sit down sometime soon and respond to my initial questions.

 

17 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

I'd say you can count shoveling snow as workouts.

 

I usually do. Especially after downfalls like we got on Saturday (like 6" overnight). 

 

16 hours ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

Gotta agree with the folks above. If stepsloth wanted to start talking to me, something with a screen would help us break our bad communication habits.

This year’s flu was a killer, but you better start working out, I don’t want to feel bad when I kick your ass.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

It was pretty brutal. I slept honestly 18 hours a day for the first two days of it. 3rd day I was up, but reading was tough and many naps were included. 4th and 5th day I did a bit of work, but not much from home (perks of a tech job). By 6th day I was up and around, but still low on energy. Even on the 8th day, when I was back to work, I was still tired. Took probably a full two weeks to get back to feeling normal again.

 

16 hours ago, The Most Loathed said:

I hope I'm not too much of a jerk for saying this but I'm honestly not planning on running with you guys. I do intend to beat you both. I'll be happy to hand you a cold beer as you cross the line too but for the 90 minutes I'm on the course, you guys are nobody to me

 

I didn't know my father especially well but a few years before he died we bonded over some workout videos I sent him (longer story). I'm really glad it happened. I say give it a go. 

 

Not at all. In fact, it makes me happy. Doing what I can and not dragging you two down feels doable. And if I pass either of you, lord help you, because the razzing will never end. 

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

I'm glad you got a good response from your Dad when you emailed.

[Rooks]

We are now down to the 39 days until Hammer Race and still not really any workouts. 

 

Again, maybe you can count my 80 minutes of shoveling this morning as cardio, but I'm not going to. I'm going to get a run in before this day is over and damn it, that is going to start some momentum!

 

Ok. So I've talked a lot about how glum shit feels lately, but let's focus on the stuff that has gone well so far in 2018. I've been crushing the books. Really, I've only read 2 3/4, but the first was 700 pages, the 2nd was a very quick read (an hour), and the 3rd has been a 970 page novel which I'm 825 pages through.

 

I've put down more than 1500 pages already. For anyone who is curious on my thoughts on the books I read, I'm keeping a Book Journal here. Just writing down my thoughts on the book after I finish. 

 

 

Another positive, which I didn't post about here for some reason, I conventional deadlifted 315 for a triple on January 1st. That's a crazy milestone as my back hasn't been in any shape to handle that in a long while. So things have gotten better over time, I just need to dedicate to the process of getting better. If I did, I could be back at training hard again. I think I just need to final admit to myself, that I want to get back on the platform. Competing in powerlifting is fun and gives me a reason to keep training. I may never win, but you don't do this shit to win (or at least most don't). You do it to compete with yourself. To give you a date to drive towards. I need deadlines and goals to drive towards, otherwise, I procrastinate. It's just who I am. Yes, I can work at improving it, but it's save to say that the body of evidence shows I don't do well with arbitrary goals like "Get better" or even more specific things like "do this 3 times per week to improve flexibility".

 

So let's say it.

 

In early 2019, I will compete either in the 198 class or the 205 class (depending on Federation) and will total 600kg.

 

 

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

6 hours ago, Rooks said:

In early 2019, I will compete either in the 198 class or the 205 class (depending on Federation) and will total 600kg.

That's an awesome goal. I look forward to watching you crush it.

[Elastigirl]

I think  competing will be great for you. Besides the fitness, it might also meet some of your social needs.

[Rooks]

Got my run in on Tuesday. 2.62 miles in 38:18 minutes. First mile or so was pretty solid. Running was all done at 7MPH or higher. Anytime I had to walk (which was a lot), I cranked up the angle setting to something above 5% and something below 10%. 

 

In typical momentum killing fashion however, on Wednesday, right around noon, my throat starting feeling very scratchy. By the time I got home from work, I was all but certain I was coming down with yet another cold-type situation. This has to be my 4th or 5th time being sick this winter. It's been brutal. I honestly can't say this is true, but the last few times I've quit drinking for 3-4 days, I feel like I've gotten sick. I know it can't be true that I stop consuming alcohol and my body gets sick, but it just feels that way. It's very frustrating.  Try and do something healthy and feel like your getting punished for it.

 

I stayed home on Thursday and binged watch Big Mouth, a pretty raunchy comedy from a bunch of the guys in The League. I also finished the book I've been reading, Musashi. Then of course to further kill my motivation, kiddo was brutal Thursday night / Friday morning. Up at 12:30am, yelling and screaming from both us and her, which continued until 1:30am. Back up at 2:00am with just wiggles and insistence that it was time to get up. By 2:30am, there was more yelling and screaming until 3:00am. I finally got her to sleep at 3:00am by sleeping on her floor with her. Woke up at 5:00am and went back to my bed and slept until 7:00 where we had to get up for some early morning parent teacher conferences. I'm running on fumes today, chugging down coffee and a Rockstar and probably some highly caffeinated tea before noon. Also, I took some DayQuil and some Emergen-C, so I'm running on all sorts of chemicals today. 

 

With any luck, I'll feel normal again tomorrow if I can get a decent nights sleep. 

[WhiteGhost]

man, that sounds rough.  Hope you get some sleep tonight