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[Jittersthe.Clown]

This is going to be long, so bear with me.  I’m nerding out hard on this one.  Credit for the writing goes to The Protomen.  I changed some of their lyrics to fit my challenge.   The summery is at the end if you want to skip ahead, but I think this is pretty entertaining, and really, that is why I do things; because it entertains me.  For the music (and original lyrics) play this YouTube video while reading:

Hope Rides Alone

No one was left who could remember how it had happened; how his body fell into the darkness.  At least no one who would do anything.  No one who would oppose the laziness.  No one who would challenge its power.  Or so Dr. LazyJitters believed.

Twenty floors above the dark streets of his own mind, Dr. LightJitters lived in a rundown tenement.  An eccentric and brilliant man, Jitters was a loner, a thinker, a man of ideas.  Ideas forbidden in Lazy’s body.  The body for which he worked.  The body in which he lived. The body that he would set free.  And so Jitters worked, far into his nights, when the watchful eyes of Lazy’s doubts weren’t upon him.  He’d set his skillful hands to the task of creating a device to bring about a change; to create a machine to bring freedom; to create a man to save this body!  Ten years Jitters worked, but on a cold night, in the year 200X, ProtoJitters was born.  A soon to be perfect man; an unbeatable machine.  Hell-bent on destroying every vice standing between himself and healthy freedom.  Built for one purpose, to destroy Lazy’s army of self-doubts.  Ready, willing, prepared to fight.

And as the smoke cleared, Lazy rose above the countless doubts remaining.  ProtoJitters was wounded, low on energy, struggling to remain active as Lazy ordered the final attack.

The death of ProtoJitters.

I tried so hard to become great.  I failed.  I got frustrated.   I cried after working so hard for something.  I thought I was strong enough.  I was wrong.

Funeral for a Son

Between the gaps in the trembling and calloused fingers that cradle his heavy head, Jitters watches the mob of cowardly feelings carry ProtoJitters’ scarred helmet -- all that was left of the Man Machine who would have been their savior. As the crowd of feelings march somberly back to slavery –Dr.  Jitters notices a tear streaming down the dorsum of his hand and feels a breathtaking weight in his chest. What is this? Frustration? Humiliation? Hatred? Certainly, these are there too. But no, this is more than that. These emotions are his life. He has lived with them for so long that they no longer affect him. Over the years he has learned to fight them, then ignore them, and finally channel them into his work, his creation, his machine, his hope.

So that was it. The source of tears and the pain that caused them. This time he had built more than a machine. He had sent more than a fleeting attempt to battle. He had sent a man, a part of his own self, to do the impossible, to save he who could not be saved, to die.

There was the hatred again, the rage, welling inside of him. No more, he thought, as he tore down the tools and parts that framed his piece of mind that thought he could change. Never again. "This body deserves the hell that he has brought upon itself!" He smashed and cut his resolve, in an effort to destroy his own means of creation. He allowed the tears to pour from his cheeks and mingle with the blood seeping from the cuts in his torn and battered hands. He had set out to use these hands to destroy his resolve but he now watched as they seemed to be creating of their own accord. Pieces of himself were seized and fused. They began to take form - the form of Jitters’ anger, the form of his guilt, the form of his grief, the form of his love, the form of another.

Years passed. Nothing changed. The body he had seemed weary but content to suffer under Dr. Lazy and the doubt army. In whispers, his feelings still spoke of ProtoJitters. Eventually, MegaJitters would find out the truth. Dr. Jitters knew this.

When MegaJitters was old enough, Dr. Jitters called him into the workshop and began to explain...

Unrest in the House of Light

“You have heard me tell this story many times before you sleep.  This time listen carefully.  And I will tell you once again, but this time understand that what I’m telling you; every single word is true.  You need to know.  There was another, who came before you.  He was a hero and your brother and my son.  He fought the darkness and the darkness won.  He fought bravely, and he died bravely; but he was forsaken by the ones he wished to save.  And when he died, he died in vain.  You need to know, you are not him.  A time is coming, and I must warn you, though it’s something that you may not understand; we can’t be saved by just one man.  And I am sorry, ‘cause I was wrong.  I’d take away the weight his shoulders had to bear.  Because when he fell I was the only one who cared.  You need to know, you are not him.  His fight’s not yours.â€

MegaJitters broke away from his father's hold, ran to the window and looked out over the body. His eyes filled with tears. His heart hurt under the weight of what he'd just been told. How could his father do nothing? How could Dr. Jitters not avenge the death of ProtoJitters?

“That story’s finished.  That story’s ended.  Understand there’s nothing more that we can do.  And I will not risk losing you.  For if you leave now you will be fighting for a body that refuses to comprehend; it has chosen its own end.  So you will stay here.  You will obey me and I will keep grieving for the part of me I sent to death.  You are all that I have left.  You need to know, you are not him.  This fight’s not yours.

MegaJitters tore past Dr. Jitters. He threw the doors open at the end of the hallway and disappeared into the stairway. Dr. Jitters called after him: You cannot win!
 

18 months had passed, all the while trying to build myself up, and I would fail.  I would get psyched up to get in better shape.  Inevitably, after about 3 weeks I would always give up.  It was a cycle I couldn’t break.  I needed a change.  Nerd Fitness was that change.  Slowly, MegaJitters would come out, though.

The Will of One

“I have seen this body a thousand times.  Through the glass twenty stories high, I have watched this body burn.  If everything that you said is true, there is no hope someday it will learn.  But if I stay here with you, then I will never know the truth.  Do not say this is how it has to be.  As I walk through the body’s muscles, these frightened feelings watching me pass, there is an evil that holds them here, yet they won’t try breaking its grasp.  But if I stay here with you, then I will leave them to their doom.  Do not sa, this is how it has to be.  You do no better than the fools of this failing bodyâ€.

MegaJitters stopped. His path through the body had led him to the memory grave of his brother. Memories began to gather below the hilltop where he stood silently, reading the words of his father carved onto the crumbling marker.

“Even here it is not safe.  (Dr. Jitters in his head: You have heard me tell this story many times before you sleep) Even this grave has been defaced.  (No matter how dark this body gets) Someone has written on this stone (even now, there is hope for us) in some angry hand, ‘Hope rides aloneâ€.

 
The muscles fly past him now. MegaJitters rushes towards the top side of the body, towards the fortress, towards his fate. The constant voices mounted at intervals on the side of the brain are humming, chanting words to settle the stir created by a new hero. Words to quell a potential uprising. Words to inspire fear. Words to drive back the idea that fitness is within the grasp of one angry mob headed by one unstoppable leader. One perfect Machine.

“Do not say this is how it has to be.  You do no better than the fools of this burning body.  And as I live there is no evil that will stand.  I will finish what was started; the fight of ProtoJitters!â€

Thus began my first 6 week challenge. 

Vengeance

Voices in my Head: “We have control!  We keep you safe!  We are your hope!†Endlessly repeating. 

The words of the men and women met in the NF forums carry him forward. MegaJitters has no fear now that freedom is near.
Standing between the man he would be and MegaJitters is an army of Doubts, commanded by one leader. This is not Dr. Lazy. Lazy has no power on a field of battle. This is Lazy's second in command. His face is shrouded in the shadow of the fortress, his rough features and solid construction obscured by the void of light. The doubts advance.  One by one they will fall. No mercy will be shown. No hesitation. These are useless. They cannot feel pain. They cannot understand what drives MegaJitters onward. The rage is lost on them. MegaJitters has his target now. The Commander of this doubt army will fall. All the exercise and pain he must wade through to get there is insignificant.

“Send your armies.  There’s no man or machine who can stop me, and you’ll soon see.  I’ve come for vengeance for the first son of Jitters.  And I’m ready and I’m willing and I’m prepared to…

Send me the best you’ve got.  Send me your strongest doubt machine.  The fight my brother fought, here, now, will end with me. All you wounded, those of you who can, pick yourselves off the ground.  Hurry back, tell your leader you need more men.â€

Nearing the gate and the leader of the Doubt Army, MegaJitters’ fury yields to confusion. This Commander is not just another doubt machine.

“The shadow, it covers your face, but your eyes shine, just like mine.  Step forward, step into the light if you’re ready and willing and prepared to fight.†No movement. “So be it! Send your armies.  There’s no man or machine who can stop me, and you’ll soon see.  I’ve come for vengeance for the first son Jitters.  And I’m ready and willing and prepared to fight.  Is this the best you’ve got?  Is this your strongest doubt machine?  Now, with one power lift, you’ll see what vengeance means.â€

Just before the lift rang out, the blast that would end this battle, the commander stepped out of the shadows and into the light. This was a face our Hero had seen before, in visions and dreams. This was not the face of evil. 

This was the face of a Hero. The face of a Son.  The face of his Brother. This was ProtoJitters.

I had come to grips with the fact that I wouldn't become who I wanted to be years ago, but I never thought I would let that vision change how I saw all my future progress.  It became obvious that I was fighting myself too much.  I have revised what I want over the past two weeks to hopefully come up with where I want to be in six weeks because I still hear ProtoJitters’ doubts. 

The Stand (Man or Machine)

MegaJitters dropped to his knees and lowered his weapon. Dr. Jitters stepped quietly out of the crowd.

Dr. Jitters: “You’re trying to understand.  I told you your brother had been killed.  Yet, here he stands in the very shadow of the emotional barriers you came here to destroy.  You came here to avenge his death, you came here to save this body.  Can you see now, you cannot do both.â€

 MegaJitters' eyes rose to meet his brother's. ProtoJitters met his stare, held it for only a second and turned his attention to the bloodthirsty crowd of emotions.

ProtoJitters: “Tell me now; is there an emotion among you here?  Is there no one who will stand up and try to fight?  Tell me Man, is there not one in all your ranks?  Is there not one who values health over sloth?â€

 Protoman turns his attention back to his brother.

“He looked to me once, now he turns to you.  Do you understand now?  Do you see that the truth is he doesn't want to change this?  He doesn’t want a hero.  He just want a martyr, a statue to raise.  I’ve given everything I can.  There are no heroes left in this man.  So it begins!  No matter which one of us lives, the body you’re standing in will crack and blow away.  And you will fight.  But when you fight, you’ll fight alone.  And in the end you’ll see there was no other way.  I’ve been here before; I’ve stood where you stand.  He called me his hero, the Hero of this Man.  But why should we save him when he stands for nothing.  If he deserve health, let him stand for himself!  We’ve given everything we can.  There are no heroes left in this man.  He’ll watch you die to save his way of life.  He will not stand here by your side.

Suddenly ProtoJitters stops. His eyes fall on his father. The man who created him and let him fail, only to be consumed by fear and doubt.  His face changes almost imperceptibly. Nothing changes but his eyes. Then, as quickly as he'd stopped, ProtoJitters leaps off of the shattered robots and lands in the midst of the remaining doubt army. Throwing his bare hand into the side of one doubt robot, ProtoJitters sends him flying into the ranks. Three, four doubt robots fall under ProtoJitters’ powerful blow. He destroys his own legions as he makes his way to the front of the line. He stands alone in front of MegaJitters.

“We’ve given everything we can.  There are no heroes left in this man.  So let him watch as we decide his very fate in kind.â€

The air is thick with smoke. ProtoJitters makes no move, but stands, at some distance, at the ready. MegaJitters, still fighting to fully grasp the truth of the situation, raises from his knees. His weapon raised hesitantly, MegaJItters locks eyes with his brother but breaks free seconds later. His eyes dart over the crowd searching for Dr. Jitters. His father's eyes are on the ground.  Dr. Jitters can watch no more. The crowd of emotions watches with fiery intensity.  MegaJitters’ eyes fix once again on ProtoJitters. His weapon drops to his side.

This internal fight between who I wanted to be 10 years ago and who I want to be now that I have a clearer understanding for a reasonable goal has led me to this final showdown.  This is where my next challenge begins and I become what I want to be; slimmer, stronger, faster and with the ability to do what I know to be right, even if it’s not easy to do.  All my old self-doubt and unrealistic expectations must be destroyed.  But they are still haunting me.  This is what I hear as I begin my challenge.

The Sons of Fate

MegaJitters: “I will not fight you (ProtoJitters: You have no choice). I’ll stand beside you (I stand alone).  You’re still his hero (Then he is a fool). This cannot be the only way (You will see)!  He doesn’t deserve this (When this is through).  Now more than ever (This man will fail), we are his hope (He would not stand)!  He now knows better (He would not fight).  He is now ready (He never will).  Even now there is hope for him (My father’s words)!  Your father loved you (He still believes?).  His heart was broken (His only weakness).  His greatest strength (Now we shall see)!  You are not evil (if he will stand).  You are not broken (beside his hero).  We both know he’ll stand to fight.

ProtoJitters: “You still don’t get it.  He is no hero.  This man is doomed.†ProtoJitters turns to face the man who made him, “You will never have another hero.  You will never have another chance.  You will fall because you never tried to stand for yourself!â€

The Better Parts of Me: “Destroy him, you can save us! Destroy him, you’re our only hope!  KILL PROTOJITTERS!â€

 No one saw the blow, but the change was obvious. The two brothers stood feet apart. Both in pain. Only ProtoJitters fell. His knees hit the ground. His arms followed. Before he could fall any further MegaJitters was at his side. The brothers, the Sons of Jitters, embraced. ProtoJitters was dying. Nothing could stop that now. ProtoJitters looked up through strained eyes and tried to speak. At first nothing came. Summoning all his remaining strength, ProtoJitters whispered these words into his brother's ear: “If this man…  tells this story… to his children…  as the sleep… maybe someday…  they’ll see a hero… is just a Man…  who knows he is free.â€

ProtoJitters was dead. The crowd seemed pleased. MegaJitters finally understood.  This Man needed a hero that was willing to do not only what was needed, but what was the right path.

Doubts in my Head: “He could not save himself.  How could he save us?  For all the fear he spread, (MegaJitters: As I live,) your brother failed us. (There is no laziness that will stand.)  There’s nothing he could do. (And I will finish) You had no choice. (what was started) Why do you cry for him? (The fight of ProtoJitters!) You are our hero.

The fallen body of his brother at his feet, MegaJitters removed his helmet and said his prayer. The remaining doubt robots looked at their broken leader, then at MegaJitters. Without orders, they would neither advance nor retreat. With eyes full of peace, MegaJitters looked over the whole of this Mans feelings, turned his eyes back to the doubt robot army and put his helmet back on his head. The doubt robots immediately turned from MegaJitters and cast their eyes towards the fortress. Dr. Lazy stood high above the doubt robots, high above the crowd of emotions, high above their heroes. With a wave of his hand, the doubt army had their orders. They advanced on the crowd to punish them for their thoughts of rebellion. MegaJitters was ready.  No more would this man be afraid of the work required to obtain his goals.  He will not fail.  He will stand by MegaJitters to save himself.

I will no longer be afraid to improve myself because I may fail.  So long as I try, I can never truly fail.  I will become MegaJitters.  To do this thing, I must be strong, swift and right. 

 

Quest: Fit comfortably into my size 38 pants that I held onto for years.  Right now, I am at 39 (technically in 40's cause they don't make 39s)

 

Goal 1 - STRONG: Lift heavy things 3 times a week with a 5-10lb progression each week starting at 45 lbs.  It’s a small start, but my arms are not well developed yet.  I will change this.  I will have to see what I have available in my house to lift other than books and my kids. Body weight training also going to happen twice weekly. - STR

 

Goal 2 - SWIFT: Cardio three times a week, 20 minutes at a time.  I am working my jump rope skills up to this, so I will run for the minutes I don’t make it on the rope.  – STA & CON

 

Goal 3 - RIGHT: Track everyday on My Fitness Pal.  I have become lax in this.  I know I need to eat better and this will help me out. – CON & WIS

 

Life Goal: Well, this one is hard.  I was going to try to get a Disney Trip together for my family, but I have a basement that needs to have mold professionally removed.  I think I have to go with my family’s overall health first.  So, I will raise $1,000 per week (I know!) to that end.  Now, I know what you may be thinking; ‘Unobtainable goal’.  I would normally agree with you, but, for 6 weeks, this will be accomplished by working a second job nights and weekends and my stained glass projects.  I won’t be able to keep that pace up for more than 6 weeks, but as I figure it, it will be enough to make this a reality. 

[Mdowning]

Subscribed! Good luck Jitters! I'm an Assassin for this challenge but I'll drop by to shout encouraging things from time to time. And I'm always watching. > _ O

[I am Eve]

Great challenge Jitters, in an awesome setting that you created.

I believe in routines and starting small.

I think a lot if us have doubts ....It will be a learning experience to see you conquer yours!

[Teros]

Hey Jitters, you can MAKE a weight set for dirt cheap.  All you need is some quickrete, a jug that could be used to make weight plates, and a piece of galvanized steel from your local hardware store.  Stick a piece of pvc pipe in the middle of your jug- pour in quickrete, let dry, you now have plates and a barbell set. (line the inside hold of the weight plate with ducttape- sticky-side touching the cement and you can slide it on the bar easier.

 

You can also fill water jugs with sand. a regular jug with sand makes a 12-13 pound weight. You can switch sand for more quickrete for a heavier jug.  There's tons of options. Just check my thread- I'm making 2 kettelbells and a tornado ball hopefully this week.

[Batwoman]

I will have to look through all of that during a lunch break.

 

I might join in with you on the jump roping. You can keep the running for yourself.

[Jittersthe.Clown]

If I get up to 20 minutes of jumping, I may not be running this challenge.

 

Where does the steel come into play?  I work in metal fabrication, so I could probably get that part for free.  I have boxes of books that I am going to be lifting and a lot of heavy things around the garage that I found yesterday.  I am looking forward to Monday.

[Mad Hatter]

I will have to look through all of that during a lunch break.

 

I might join in with you on the jump roping. You can keep the running for yourself.

 

You can keep ALL the cardio to yourself

[JessFit]

you have great goals! To help you reach them you can google "diy gym equipment" and similar things to get great ideas for making home stuff, like this!

http://greatist.com/fitness/21-diy-gym-equipment-projects-make-home

[Batgirl]

Lifting heavy things FTW!

[Jittersthe.Clown]

I'm hopeful.  I never really bothered lifting with most of my workouts, so it's going to challenge me, to be sure.  I'm also hoping it helps get my chin up over the bar.  Oh, and I got a pull up bar!  Turns out, no one in my family can do one.  My son got closest... 

[Batgirl]

I've never done a pullup in my entire life.  Someday

[Batgirl]

Also lifting heavy is awesome.  It makes you feel totally badass

[JessFit]

Also lifting heavy is awesome.  It makes you feel totally badass

Yes, yes it does! And then when you see someone who has their hair all gelled and their workout shirt artfully ripped and their protein shaker of water next to them and their muscles slightly oiled to look extra buff and they're curling less on the machine than you do with a free weight you want to giggle uncontrollably

[Jittersthe.Clown]

See, that's going to be great for me because I usually feel like a badass.  Looking forward to the multiplier.  

[Ahyar Dreamspark]

/highfive for not being able to do a pull-up. I was never able to either. It'll be a future challenge X)

[Jittersthe.Clown]

Right now it's just a friendly competition between myself and JessFit on who can get the first one.  I'm pretty sure it's going to be her, but don't let her know that.  

[JessFit]

Right now it's just a friendly competition between myself and JessFit on who can get the first one.  I'm pretty sure it's going to be her, but don't let her know that.  

She has told you that you have the edge with the extra testosterone that you have! She's pretty sure it is going to be you

[Jittersthe.Clown]

And you have the weight advantage.  As in you're not trying to lift 229 lbs with arms that aren't able to lift both my kids at once.  We'll see what happens.  

 

I want to find out where I can commission one of these when I finish.  

[Batwoman]

I saw this PVP and thought of you: http://rebellion.nerdfitness.com/index.php?/topic/39383-november-11-december-22-juggling-pvp/

 

I don't know if you juggle... I am just assuming.

[Jittersthe.Clown]

I saw this PVP and thought of you: http://rebellion.nerdfitness.com/index.php?/topic/39383-november-11-december-22-juggling-pvp/

 

I don't know if you juggle... I am just assuming.

 

Thank you for finding that.  I will be participating in it.  I am getting a second job in the next week.  

 

With a store that sells juggling equipment.  

 

That I have worked for before

 

Because I've been juggling since I was 5.

[Batwoman]

No problem. That is what partners are for.

 

My Dad got me a "how to juggle" book one Christmas. Since I was a softball player he thought it would be amusing if I could juggle. So one day I got bored, read the book, and learned how to juggle. I was probably about 14. It's been years since I've used that skill. I can only do 3 evenly weighted (light) objects.

 

That is a super cool PVP. If I had more time, I would do it too.

 

 

 

[Jittersthe.Clown]

I got a book after watching a program on PBS that told me to get a book from the library and find 3 similarly weighted objects.  My mom had just bought some reindeer beanbags, so I used those.  Moved up to bowling balls in 7 grade and won $20 on a bet that I couldn't juggle them.  Worked for a juggling store on and off since I was 16.  Learned the props and yo-yo.  Juggling is useful to improve your math skills and memory.  I'm solid and entertaining with 3, good with 4, crap with 5.  I focused mainly on props.  I got good with those.  I have to get a video done up this weekend.  

[Batgirl]

I'm now jealous of Jitters' juggling skills

[Jittersthe.Clown]

I'm very good with my hands.  

[l4dyh4wk]

Jitters, fabulous progression from the last challenge.. it sounds like you have some great focus for this challenge

I'll be following