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laurabzz: Tiny Beautiful Things


laurabzz

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Monday, Week 2.

 

Finally, got over myself and my suddenly-developed gym fears and did some lifting. Everyone's nice to me there and I have no idea why I'm suddenly afraid to workout in the gym. So it goes (I'm reading Vonnegut now and he's repeating this phrase A LOT).

 

Took it easy after a 2 week break so no big numbers here. (kg)

 

Squats: 

5x5x15

5x35

3x5x55

 

Overhead Press:

5x15

3x5x25

 

Deadlift:

2x45

3x85

2x90 

 

if I remember correctly.

 

I know I could lift so much more if I pushed myself harder and if I also had someone to lift with me. Not sure how people find lifting buddies? I think having a friend would help me a lot.

 

Anyway.

 

So I'm back to lifting, to all-Paleo food and to everything. Yay good start!

 

ALSO I GOT MY NEW BIKE OMG I LOVE IT SO MUCH ALREADY

 

cvnfmhD.jpg?1?8283

 

there are many like it but this one is mine.

 

And if someone steals it, I'll skin them.

 

The saddle is actually my grandpas, it's from the Soviet Union :D

 

Overall, happy days. (temperature is below zero though)

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Glad to hear you're literally back in the saddle! Things sound like they're officially back on track :)

 

Okay, and I know we're past this, but I just have to mention:

 

When I first read your story about the cake and its tragic demise, my initial mental image was of you becoming enraged that you'd made cake and throwing it at the ground in a sudden fit of will power.

Race: Wood Elf

Level 20

Class: Ranger

Strength: 45 | Dexterity: 15 | Stamina: 44 | Constitution: 29 | Wisdom: 35 | Charisma: 28

BATTLE LOG   EPIC QUEST  CHALLENGE

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Glad to hear you're literally back in the saddle! Things sound like they're officially back on track :)

 

Okay, and I know we're past this, but I just have to mention:

 

When I first read your story about the cake and its tragic demise, my initial mental image was of you becoming enraged that you'd made cake and throwing it at the ground in a sudden fit of will power.

 

Haha thanks for reminding me Fallen Cake Day :D 

 

those look like big numbers to me!! good work on getting back to lifting, and to everything :)

 

Thanks :) yeah I don't really know how to work with smaller weights I guess - I don't want to look weak to others at the gym lol :D 

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Tuesday, Week 2.

 

Nothing fitness-related happened, as far as I can remember. I did eat Paleo yay. 

Also we had a pub quiz that night so I had two beers and loads of fun. 

 

Wednesday, Week 2.

 

GUYS I MADE A FRIEND AT THE GYM. I mentioned I wanted to know someone at the gym and boom! it happens. Do I have two more wishes or something? I'm almost afraid of all the good luck I've been having lately. Maybe I could wish for my essays to get written....

Anyway, we did deadlifts together and chatted for a while and I'll see her again sometime at the gym, I'm sure. She also does cleans and I'm hoping to learn that from her. Even if we don't meet - it was great to have someone to chat with. 

 

Yeah so I did sets of squats up till 60kg, some overhead presses (guys were benching crazy weights, didn't want to interrupt) of 30kg and then loads of deadlifts starting from 45kg up to 90kg. 90kg killed me after the second time. I guess I'll have to work from here. I really want to reach 100kg!!

 

Had some essay stuff done, yay me.

 

Thursday, Week 2.

 

I went to see Hunger Games: Catching Fire at the cinema with a friend this morning (!). Munched on some cashews that filled me for a day. 

I then had a staff-student meeting at the university which was a good new experience. 

And finally, I went to listen to the talk on climate change and the media. 

I did workout with kettlebells in between stuff.

And lastly, I'm at home and I need to study for tomorrow. Busy day.

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Friday - Sunday, Week 2.

 

Not much happened - Friday and Sunday. Although I went to Edinburgh on Saturday! I've visited the castle and the Christmas Market. I had so much fun (and mulled wine.. *cough* *cough*) that I forgot to take any photos of the market. Anyway, I had an awesome day. My food choices however still come from my old habits (it's so hard to change your habits...whyyy) so I totally failed with Paleo challenge this week again.

 

Week 2 recap.

 

1. Strength training - 2,5. I know that not having time is not an excuse but I didn't have time.

2. Paleo. Went fine for the first few days and then slipped a little.

3. Move around. Definitely moved around and had short breaks while working with the computer.

 

4. Socialize/essaysize. Again, essays suffered from my social life as usual. Ugh. Oh well :)

 

Hope everyone's doing fine! I'm sorry that I'm not as active this challenge as I was in the previous ones - underestimated how busy the life can get.

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Monday, Week 3.

 

A very busy but awesome day. Went to work, then to the gym, to the library, to my classes, home and then to some music event in the evening.

 

Gym is getting better ever since I realized that I shouldn't wait for someone to start talking to me - I should be able to start conversations myself. So I made another gym-friend today (not really a friend but someone who's regularly at the gym). Yay! I'm slowly getting over my gym anxiety :)

 

I was feeling very well today and the stats speak themselves (kg):

Squats:

5x15

5x40

5x50

5x55

2x5x60

5x62,5

 

Squats with 60kg felt very easy so decided to put some more weight for the last set. Still felt alright. Maybe I'll reach 65kg next week!

Again, bench was being used so did some overhead presses with 30kg weight. Not impressive but I really don't like presses :D Deadlift felt stronger today as well, added some weight.

 

Deadlift:

2x50

2x60

2x80

2x85

4x90

2x92,5

 

I'm still in 'I don't know what I'm doing' phase at the gym but I'm getting stronger woo!

 

Also, started 30day Paleo Thing again yesterday, so today's the second day and so far so good. 

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Good to hear you're still letting yourself live a little. And congrats one getting over gym anxiety, I pretty much keep to myself unless I see someone I work with then we awkwardly smile and wave at each other. So impressed that the weights you're able to do! Someday I'll get there, someday... Good luck with this week!

"I don't want you to save me. I want you to stand by my side as I save myself."-unknown

 

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Good to hear you're still letting yourself live a little. And congrats one getting over gym anxiety, I pretty much keep to myself unless I see someone I work with then we awkwardly smile and wave at each other. So impressed that the weights you're able to do! Someday I'll get there, someday... Good luck with this week!

 

Haha well I think I'm actually letting myself live WAY MORE than a little :D You know you have too much to do when you start thinking that your studies interfere with your life. It should be the other way around! 

The problem with weights is that as soon as you reach some goal you immediately see someone who's doing even better :D where do I stahp.

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Tuesday, Week 3.

 

Unexpected rest day - was supposed to go to the gym but my tyre got punctured so had to go to the bike repair shop instead.

 

I was called unlucky by three different people in three different situations. The thing was, I myself wasn't feeling that frustrated at all. People call me unlucky and I'm like 'yeah I guess so' :D

 

Baked first pie in ages (I told myself I could have 3-4 throughout the challenge), it was some banana-almond pie and it was delicious. My local food store stopped supplying ground almonds though, whyyyy. 

 

I did maybe 50 squats while standing in the kitchen and waiting for my pie. I like squats.

 

Supposed to write essays, watched The Big Bang Theory all day... oops.

 

 

Wednesday, Week 3. 

 

Ain't today my lucky day. So far, it's been the opposite of yesterday.

 

First of all, I went to lift. And boy I lifted. 

 

Squats: I did LOTS so I'm not going to write down all the numbers BUT in the end I was squatting 60kg, then I though I could add some, I squatted 5 reps of 62,5, then I thought I could add more (wut) so I did a set of 65kg and then I was still feeling strong enough and I did 2 sets of 2x70kg!!! I promise I'm not lying because I triple-checked the plates :D I thought maybe I miscalculated as usual. Nope. It's official - 70kg reached. Now onto the 80kg...

 

OHP and BP: I started doing a few sets of OHP and then noticed an empty bench so I also benched few sets. Went up to 35kg. Could have done more but I haven't done it in a very long time so didn't want to injure myself. 

 

Deadlift: I was feeling quite tired after squats and press so I just did 5 solid reps of 90kg today. 

 

Everything is sore now. Beautifully, amazingly sore.

 

 

Roasted 2kg (something like 4lbs I think?) pork joint today. Mamamia how delicious it is.

 

Anyhow, what an awesome day and it's only afternoon now.

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I think I'm having some sort of anxiety attack or something. Can they last whole day? The worst is that there's no reason for that. I just feel very anxious all day. My hands are shaky, I want to cry and I'm unable to do things. What is happening :D it's very unusual for me. Any tips how to calm down?

 

This is how it's going.

 

Week's been fine, more or less. Didn't have much sleep since wednesday night though. 

 

Also, terrible tragedy happened in Glasgow. I've been in town myself when it happened but haven't heard the news till the morning. Thank goodness I was a bit further from there. 

 

Yeah, so week's been good, mood - not so. Weird stuff.

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I've gone through the same thing before, kind of off and on for a few months. I was under a great deal of academic and emotional stress at the time, and it didn't really go away until I dealt with that stuff (or moreso, until the sources of stress went away, there really wasn't much I could do about it, which was probably why it was so stressful.) I know you like to be busy, but are you giving yourself a chance to recover and repair, physically and mentally?

Race: Wood Elf

Level 20

Class: Ranger

Strength: 45 | Dexterity: 15 | Stamina: 44 | Constitution: 29 | Wisdom: 35 | Charisma: 28

BATTLE LOG   EPIC QUEST  CHALLENGE

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Short update.

Yesterday morning, at the gym: A guy I was talking to earlier comes up to me while I'm doing deadlifts, adds more plates to my bar and tells me: "Do a 100kg." And this is the story of how I've reached all my powerlifting goals two weeks in advance. Gotta love bossy people.

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Ha, that's pretty awesome! and Fonzico is right, you do need to give your WHOLE self time to recover. Glad things are going well fitness-wise. Mentality-wise? have you tried some deep breathing exercises? At least they don't take as long and help your body relax a bit.

"I don't want you to save me. I want you to stand by my side as I save myself."-unknown

 

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Wow, you are doing fantastic with your weights! You go, girl!

 

How is the anxiety doing? You are doing A LOT, so it could just be that. I've found that sometimes, though, that any change - even good changes like your weight training and branching out socially - can cause anxiety. Just because it's different than what we're used to experiencing. That old reptilian brain buried in our heads wants to keep us safe and figures that the usual state of affairs is how to do that. Anything out of the ordinary makes it nervous.

 

Also, don't underestimate the emotional impact of nearby disasters and tragedies. They can have a powerful effect. When something like the crash in Glasgow happens, besides being sad in and of itself, it also tends to break through our media saturated defenses and remind us of how fragile life can be. That is always unsettling, but it is also a great reminder to seize each day and live your life to the fullest. Every moment we draw breath is a gift.

All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity:

but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible.

~T. E. Lawrence

 

When we contemplate the whole globe as one great dewdrop, striped and dotted with continents and islands,

flying through space with other stars all singing and shining together as one, the whole universe appears as an infinite storm of beauty. 
~John Muir

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