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The Long Road Ahead, and I'm Still Tripping...

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My name is Erica. I am a self-taught artist, 5'2", and growing up eating moderately well (My mom kept both fruit and cookies in the kitchen, but cookies were always hidden). I was fairly active as a kid; playing outside after school and coming home when it got dark. I wasn't fat as a kid, but there was a time where I was too thin. At the age of 12, I weighed 112 lbs and every year I would gain/lose a few lbs that was approved by the doctor. By the time I was 19, I weighed 119 lbs and that's when I started exercising every morning, just to get my mind off of some family issues. However, after getting accepted into college, meeting a friend who got me a good job, I stopped. 


I haven't started exercising again about 4 years later. I lost my job, I've dropped out of college, and I'm just home all day now. Alone inside of my head. 


I went on this "Look Better Naked" diet, for a few months, but I hated it. The ingredients for the meals were expensive and I always felt hungry after eating them, despite the fact that the diet promises that, "you wouldn't feel hungry". The workouts that came with this diet were nice, but they weren't rigorous and seemed like the typical "women's exercise" routine. And after I've stopped, I've gained the weight back. 


I weighed 130 lbs then. 


Last August, I made a promise to my live-in boyfriend that I would exercise, eat right, and lose weight. I told him that I would not get any new clothes until I've lost the weight. 


It's December and I currently weigh 134 lbs, most of which, is [safely] on my thighs.


Nothing has changed since I've been yo-yo exercising and I don't blame anyone but myself. I used to blame the birth control pills that I used to take, but I still could have fought it. I didn't have to feel moody. I didn't have to feel like I needed to eat more sweets. I didn't have to stay indoors and suffer in silence.


I just wanted to be thin again. Thin like I always was. But what's the point of being thin? When I think of the word "thin" I visualize a pencil, a sheet of glass, and a Pokemon trading card. All of these things can be snapped, broken or ripped (Just don't rip a Pokemon trading card in front of a collector if you value your life). I don't want to be thin. I want to be strong. I want to be healthy. I want to finally be happy with myself. This health problem is taking my focus away from my first love: my art.   


I really like to lift weights. I find it more enjoyable than running on the treadmill or using stupid, painful, and oversized weight machines (remember, I'm a little lady after all). I know my squat forms, deadlift forms, and push up forms, but I'm clueless when it comes to what foods I'm putting into my mouth. I'm hoping for a little guidance, which is why I decided to join this community. I'm a bit bashful both online and IRL, so please be patient with me. Communicating right away is something I'm still working on.


Thanks for reading and I hope to get to know all of you. Or maybe most. Or maybe some? I'm just going to back away from the keyboard now...   

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Hey, Erica! Your art is the thing to focus on when you put your plan in place. Check out the challenge section, one of the things you are encouraged to do is set a goal for something you want to achieve that is not necessarily fitness related, so you could make sure part of your daily plan is getting time in for your art. I need to draw or paint every day, even if only a little, to be successful on my plan.

A lot of people here are using Paleo, I use Thrive Forward for my nutritional advice. Both share a lot of dietary philosophy, especially when it comes to avoiding processed foods.

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