Washed Up Warrior Getting Back into Battle

[Zarklin]

Day 23 - Holy Crap

 

So I actually made it in to work today.... pure luck. Work was crazy I spent maybe 2 hours sitting down... I was all over the place.. actually had to use a ladder and everything lol. My desk job is a far cry from when I used to install cable for a living.. no I don't miss working 30ft in the air on an extension ladder. Anyway gotta keep it short only 15 min till bed.. I copied allot of the below from my challenge thread...  So that "lunch and learn" is tomorrow wish me luck on staying strong I could sure use the motivation... (the pizza he bring is so damn good too we're not talking $5 hot and greasy this i s gonna be tough)  but so far I'm sore, tired, sweaty and actually happy about it yippee. Fat boy you are going bye bye.. I only have one pair of 40in jeans left that I can wear to work and I will not be buying another pair (stomps foot).. I looked at my bin full of 38's tonight.... can't wait... Sorry if this post is erratic I seem hyper yet exhausted at the same time. So they're saying more snow tonight ohh joy... and -9 woohoo. realized there's more freaking mice in my house... got more traps set (I flipping hate mice... well when they get inside....) O yea they plowed my road sometime today... well one lane of it... all good takes some stress off in the morning anyway.. ok yea I'm all over the place and must go pass out.. I did all the reps for 3x BBWW holy crap I'm out of shape.. but that's why we're here... o yea Got a beta weekend coming up =) we'll just call it muscle recovery time lol.. all for now food at the bottom. I got a picture tonight.... and and we might do this too http://thehotcocoaclassic.com/

 

 

BWWW - 3 circuits (Had to take a lot of short breaks during the sets but I did all the reps) Also did my squats past parallel

 

Started w/ 10min on eliptical

 

Circuit 1

Squats - 20

Pushups - 10 regular

Walking lunges - 20

dumbbell rows - 10 w/ 45lbs

plank -  25sec

Jumping jacks - 30

 

Circuit 2

Squats - 20

Pushups - 7 regular 3 on knees

Walking lunges - 20

dumbbell rows - 10 w/ 45lbs

plank -  22sec

Jumping jacks - 30

 

Circuit 3

Squats - 20

Pushups - 1 regular 9 on knees

Walking lunges - 20

dumbbell rows - 10 w/ 45lbs

plank -  20sec

Jumping jacks - 30

 

 

 

The food + lots of water and a 16oz of tea

 

Breakfast - Smoothie - walnuts, frozen banana, frozen mixed berries, and 2 kale leaves w/ 14oz of water

 

Lunch - leftover turkey breast w/ roasted sweet potato/onion/sausage "stuffing" and a salad

 

Dinner - 2 lettuce wrapped burgers with guacamole, salsa and a fried egg on each with a big salad, 1/4 cup of white rice and a 1/4 cup leftover roasted potatoes

 

 

 

[Zarklin]

Day - 24 vs the pizza meeting

 

So today was that "lunch and learn" the pizza smelled so freaking good but I managed to not eat any... small victory but it was really hard. I ate a big salad and a chicken thigh before the meeting to help. Not much else went on today. Feeling a bit down hope a good night sleep will help =/

 

Breakfast - Smoothie - walnuts, frozen banana, frozen mixed berries, and 2 kale leaves w/ 14oz of water

 

Lunch -big salad and a chicken thigh

 

Dinner - big salad w/ ground beef, salsa and guacamole with cashews

[Thom Stépan]

Well done on beating the pizza monster.

Woden uses ravens for messages, I use a Samsung S4.

[Zarklin]

2 days in this post...

 

Day - 25

 

Work was crazy.. it's been 2 plus weeks of what can break will break but such is life.. of course if nothing broke what would they need us techies for lol Not much else to report it warmed up a bit and rained, turned the back roads into skating rinks... o was it a fun drive home whee... kept Friday as lazy day ate dinner and played my beta.. though a week of going to bed at 11 I only made it till 11:10 before I was exhausted. Doing my third try at BBWW on Saturday. I did still feel sore from Wednesdays workout but in all the right places I forgot how good it feels to know you worked hard 2 days later.

 

Friday's food, turned down a lunch invite with co workers, almost gave in cause it was a damn good Mexican place they went to but I'd have no idea what to order to stay on my Paleo quest...

 

Breakfast - Smoothie - walnuts, frozen banana, frozen mixed berries, and 2 kale leaves w/ 14oz of water

 

Lunch -salad w/ ground beef, salsa and guacamole

 

Dinner - Lemon Garlic shrimp with wilted spinach and cauliflower mash + a salad http://elizabethbryant.blogspot.com/2012/12/lemon-garlic-shrimp-wilted-spinach.html

 

 

 

Day - 26 This is war

 

So I'll start with the good news.. I got on the scale this morning and 283.2 lbs =) so it's still coming off yay... That was today's high point it wall went down hill from there... We are now in an all out war with the damn mice.. they seem to have vacated the garage for the most part and taken up residence in my attic.... little bastards are everywhere.. seriously one flipping week without power and... grrr I'll try not to vent here.. we have traps all over caught 2 so far and we're waiting for a call back from a professional company (cause I've got money to spend on that right now..... being broke sucks) Wife called me around noon she slid off the road and got stuck luckily one of the farmers pulled her out before I got there cause judging by the road there's no way I would have got her out... so enough on the craziness and down to business

 

BWWW - 3 circuits (still need breaks during sets and such but it's feeling better) oh and I'm doing all this barefoot, hope to build up strength in my feet and ankles

 

Started w/ 10min on elliptical

 

Circuit 1

Squats - 20

Pushups - 10 regular

Walking lunges - 20

dumbbell rows - 10 w/ 45lbs

plank -  30sec

Jumping jacks - 30

 

Circuit 2

Squats - 20

Pushups - 8 regular 2 on knees

Walking lunges - 20

dumbbell rows - 10 w/ 45lbs

plank -  22sec

Jumping jacks - 30

 

Circuit 3

Squats - 20

Pushups - 7 regular 3 on knees

Walking lunges - 20

dumbbell rows - 10 w/ 45lbs

plank -  20sec

Jumping jacks - 30

 

food - hardly ate at all today

 

meal 1 - egg stuffed red bell pepper w/ a bit of parmesan cheese (just a hollow pepper with 2 eggs cracked in it in the microwave till the egg was cooked)

 

snacks - had 4 leftover shrimp, 8 cashews, and a fork of leftover spinach

 

Dinner - Wife make chicken thighs and roasted sweet potatoes w/ red onions and a salad. The rub she put on the chicken is amazing but I can't find the link

 

[SevenofSeven]

The food you are posting looks delicious! OMG, I wasn't hungry before......

Mice, we just bait them, a slow painful death as their innards rot and they spasm and die. I can't stand the littler rotters, so how they die is of little consequence so long as they just die!

Glad to hear wife is ok. The only time I ever experienced black ice on a road I hung onto the f$&k me bar and wouldn't let go until we reached our destination! Scary as.

Your workouts look amazing, no wonder you feel like you've worked out. Great job!

[rocky555]

Some great food, now I am salivating, especially for your last dinner

And you seem to be on the proper way to success.

[Zarklin]

Thanks all more food to come , I managed to button my 40's right out of the dryer today without having to hold my breath =)

 

Seven we may go the bait route here soon after we talk to this pest removal company. We're still catching them slowly but surely, if this price for the pro's is too high out comes the bait... just concerned they'll track it around and w/ a 2 year old in the house it makes me nervous.

 

Rocky, I love your avatar lol and here's the recipe for the rub we used on the chicken. Note we put the onion on after the rub it worked much better this way http://ohsnapletseat.com/2013/02/11/spice-roasted-chicken-leg-quarters/

 

Day - 27 ahhh sleep in and make steak

 

So I stayed up pretty damn late last night on the beta. Wife and kid let me sleep till nearly noon today lol. Yes a bit lazy but it felt sooooo good. Today stayed pretty relaxed, made my kid some scrambled eggs when I got up, so glad he's eating something other than hotdogs now... 2 year old's are a trip. So awhile ago my folks came to visit and mom bought us a big eye of round and we thawed it yesterday.. cut 6 steaks (more on these later) and left the rest for a roast for tomorrow. We had a small oddball end we cut off so I chopped that up and cooked it with some onions and decided to try my hand at an omelet for the wife and I. My "life quest" part of my challenge is to cook an omelet in our stainless steel pan without it burning or sticking I failed today.. but was so close... granted this was an 8 egg omelet in a 10in pan for 2 people so I should probably try a smaller one. But food was the focus of today. We did our weekly grocery run too.

 

So today's food

 

Breakfast - 1/2 beef, onion and spinach omelet (picture is of the whole thing)

 

 

Snack - 8 raw cashews

 

Dinner - here's the good one - tried making steak in the oven for the first time.. cooked it a bit longer than I should have but still pretty good, used the low broil setting and a broiler pan

 

Took a meat hammer to the steak and marinated for 24hrs in this http://paleogrubs.com/steak-marinade-recipe

Sauteed mushrooms and onions (this came out way better than I expected). We used 2 onions instead of one http://www.yumyumgetsome.com/2013/02/paleo-steak-topper-mushrooms-onions.html

Roasted asparagus though we didn't add the vinegar  http://www.ourpaleolife.com/2013/03/roasted-asparagus/

and the usual salad w/ maple mustard dressing, now I'll admit we both had 2 of the steaks and it was a bit too much but steak just isn't the same reheated and there's worse choices than a good steak right lol

 

[rocky555]

You are killing me with this food... ummmm must eat something NOW

[QengpuBenal]

Mmmmm, that looks so good!

Sent from my phone. All typos are the fault of the small keyboard and unintuitive autocorrect!

[Zarklin]

Day - 28

 

This guy sure had a case of the Monday's..... Was running late to start and just felt off all day. We moved offices this afternoon it was just down the hall but I swear I made 15 trips cause I kept forgetting stuff.. and when the hell did I get all this crap in my cube... on a good note they did give me a monitor arm and I raised my 2nd one so I can now stand at my desk without looking down at them. Next step is to find something to put my keyboard and mouse on other than the 2 wire spools I have. Second good note my work jeans felt fine right out of the dryer and were so loose after the 30 min before I left I had to put a belt on =) and I wore it all day without pain or having to loosen it. I haven't been able to do this for probably 7-8 months; still a long way to go but it feels good. You would think with all that I'd feel good today.. well I got a call back form the pest control company.. there coming Saturday for a walk thru and estimate but they want 540 something per quarter plus whatever it costs to seal up and holes they find. It will be more if my attic is thrashed and needs to be re insulated. So we're going to keep trapping and see what they say.. caught 3 or 4 today. I just feel blah... got pretty depressed during my workout tonight cause my pushups sucked... I've never really done body weight workouts before only weights and this workout is kicking my ass but I know I have to push through it before I should even consider power lifting again... oh well there's good days and bad hopefully mine will turn around soon. We did buy a boat load of kale yesterday so hopefully I have time to try and make kale chips

 

BBWW - 3 circuits breaks are getting less frequent in the first 2 circuits but still need them... by the 3rd circuit I'm beat. I felt really weak today, don't know why and my pushups suffered. Lunges and pushups are still the hardest to do. I want to conquer this sooo badly, feeling kinda down

 

Started w/ 10min on elliptical - this did feel easier

 

Circuit 1 - like a boss

Squats - 20

Pushups - 10 regular - (2 breaks)

Walking lunges - 20

dumbbell rows - 10 w/ 45lbs

plank -  30sec

Jumping jacks - 30

 

Circuit 2 - you went to hard first round...( not that you can go too hard but this is what my mind says to me...)

Squats - 20

Pushups - 6 regular 4 on knees

Walking lunges - 20

dumbbell rows - 10 w/ 45lbs

plank -  25sec

Jumping jacks - 30

 

Circuit 3 - your going to die... =P

Squats - 20

Pushups - 4 regular 6 on knees

Walking lunges - 20

dumbbell rows - 10 w/ 45lbs

plank -  22sec

Jumping jacks - 30

 

Food -

 

Breakfast - smoothie - walnuts, frozen banana, frozen mixed berries, 4 kale leaves and half an avocado w/ 14oz of water

 

Lunch - leftover steak w/ mushrooms and onions and a big salad

 

Dinner - wife made roast with onions and steamed carrots w/ a salad (can't seem to get this to show up right)

 

[Zarklin]

Day 29

 

Today seemed like it took forever... I did stand the majority of the day at work.. I feel like I worked out lol my feet and back hurt.. I'm just beat today and the temp dropped pretty quickly so all my aches and pains are flaring up. Not much to report making it short ans sweet tonight. Going to relax with a cup of tea and play some video games that I've been neglecting.

 

Food -

 

Breakfast - smoothie - walnuts, frozen banana, frozen mixed berries, and 4 kale leaves and half an avocado w/ 14oz of water

 

Lunch - leftover chicken thigh and a big salad

 

snack - chicken thigh left from lunch

 

Dinner - leftover shrimp spinach and cauliflower mash

[QengpuBenal]

Doing good! Keep up the awesome work!

Sent from my phone. All typos are the fault of the small keyboard and unintuitive autocorrect!

[Zarklin]

Been pressed for time.. most updates just going in my challenge thread.. good night my fellow nerds =)

[Zarklin]

First 6 week challenge complete! 12.8 lbs lost =) and back in my 38's

 

Pictures and stats in my challenge thread =)

[Thom Stépan]

Way to go Zarklin.

Woden uses ravens for messages, I use a Samsung S4.

[Zarklin]

The battle still rages on! The food has become habit, now it's time to branch out. I need to find alternatives for my veggies other than just 2 salads a day. I still like my salads but I'm getting burned out and I'm noticing a difference with my inards when I don't eat them for a day or two. (in a good way) So time to bust out the steamer and find new ways to cook =) I'm open to any and all Paleo suggestions. On Sunday we went thru all of our clothes and have a big pile heading out for donation. All of my 3x shirts and any jeans I could pull down without unbuttoning.. no excuse to go back to that size again.. I figured even keeping one pair would be too easy to slip if mine started getting tight again.

[Thom Stépan]

Yay for getting rid of the 3xls. I am getting rid of my 4xl's currently. It feels damn good hey?

Woden uses ravens for messages, I use a Samsung S4.

[Zarklin]

Yay for getting rid of the 3xls. I am getting rid of my 4xl's currently. It feels damn good hey?

 

Awesome Thom! Yes it feels damn good I'm trying to ride this high as long as I can.

 

On that note I'm feeling uncharacteristically confident tonight =) A major victory over myself.

 

I don't know why.. I mean honestly I've felt pretty damn depressed the last few days.. for no good reason, hell I'm making progress everyday but still.. I've never been able to say good job to myself.. all I ever think is how I could/should have worked harder or done bettter. My auto response to anyone who says they're proud of me is always "for what?!" and if it's weight loss related it's followed by "what for getting off my lazy a** and doing what I should have been doing all along don't keep your hopes up" I'm working on that I guess.. trying to defeat my inner angry self loathing prick: seriously most days I look in the mirror and vocally call myself a fat worthless POS, even during this last challenge if I had to catch my breath working out it was never "come on man you can do this"  instead it was "get up you fat a** PoS and quit being a baby you did this to yourself you lazy #%&$"  Even up until I started my workout tonight, I kept trying to tell myself I was motivated but I wasn't. Well once circuit 2 hit I guess my endorphins kicked in and boom! I actually did my 3rd circuit better than my first. When I got done I took my shirt off and had a look in the mirror and was happy about what I saw wtf!? blew my mind. When I met my wife I was still in halfway decent shape well less fat anyway. She used to get a kick out of me flexing for her and making jokes about my traps swallowing my neck lol so I decided hell with it I can upstairs and she got the camera I feel like I'm starting to look human again =) To the point I decided to post the picture... before this high runs out lol (if you don't like the tattoos I'm sorry we've all been 19 and crazy once) I know I still have a long freaking way to go but it's one small victory that hopefully I keep winning so I don't quit on myself again.

 

Oh and the daily recap

 

I ate good nothing new or exciting and here's the workout : 26min 34 sec

 

Body weight squats 3 X 20

Push ups 3 x 10 (I ditched the pushup bars this time my shoulder was grinding pretty bad going to give it a week or 2)

Walking lunges 3 x 20

Body weight rows hanging from rings 3 x 10

Planks 3 x 35 sec with 5 leg raises each leg

Jumping jacks 3 x 30

 

[Thom Stépan]

Looking good mate. Glad to hear you felt positive about yourself.

Got to break that PoS habit. Orherwise you might end up on happy pills like me.

Woden uses ravens for messages, I use a Samsung S4.

[Zarklin]

Thanks Thom. Yea the PoS habit is going to be very hard to break not sure how to approach it either. right now its a constant battle that honestly last night was the first time I've won in probably 12 years or more.

[Thom Stépan]

It is a hard one mate. I have found being here on NF helps. Tracking what you are doing also helps. The I done more than last time mentality.

For me it isn't the PoS statement. I do the fat, ugly, lazy and useless. No good for anything, even breathing. Each day I say I have done a, b, c so I am not useless or lazy. Habit RPG is good for it as well. Ticking off boxes everyday shows I have done something. It is the only effective means I have found so far.

Oh and when that "voice" says 'why didn't you do more?' Tell it that if it doesn't like your efforts it should get stuck in and do better.

It sounds like your crazy, but the reality is you are challenging your negative self talk to put its money where its mouth is. Figuratively speaking of course.

Woden uses ravens for messages, I use a Samsung S4.

[Zarklin]

Thanks for the advice Thom. This site has been a great help to me as well, nice to be part of a community especially fitness related that is always here to help and not tear you down. I've been on other forums in the past and it's been no help at all in fact it usually ends up working against me. I should start keeping a tally list with me to keep track of what I do right sometimes it's hard to remind ourselves.

 

I totally understand the feeling of being useless it was a major struggle for me when I was unemployed a few years ago. I know even when (not if) I reach my fitness goals there's still a lot me left to fight in my head. I'll probably been on here a good majority of the weekend planning my next challenge and looking for distraction. Saturday is the 12 year anniversary of the passing of my Grandfather (papa) who was the reason I got into sports years ago. After he passed I started my slow descent into a self-hating and destructive life. I burdened myself with guilt from not being there the day he died, I was out with friends doing what a 16 year old kid should do, but I felt like I was being selfish so I shut down any social part of me and any investment in myself or putting my wellbeing at the forefront. I walked away from countless opportunities I had wanted for years and took whatever was at the bottom. I just gave up or made excuses to quit.. Ended up dropping out of college as things got worse and spent a good long while in a bottle. I took way more abuse than I should have crappy jobs, relationships (where I invested everything I could so my focus was on someone else and not me) and always running (9 moves in 6 years) turns out I've been running from myself. I've always known that was the catalyst but refused to face it till now. I can't rely on the world to define my worth I have to do it for myself. It's going to take a lot of mental rehab but one step at a time.

 

After all this is a daily battle log no one said what the battle had to be against but I think most of us are in fact fighting ourselves. Thanks for listening now it's time I keep my eyes forward and not at everything that I've used to hold me back No More Excuses we can't fix the past (we're not Dr. Who after all) we're all in this together and remeber we have your back man... for the rebellion! against ourselves

[Thom Stépan]

For the Rebellion! 

We have your back as well mate. We will defeat our greatest enemy and live worthy lives that will make our ancestors proud. 

[Zarklin]

Ok so I got my new challenge posted yesterday =) was actually staying in a pretty good mood then my boot hard drive decided to give up the ghosts... currently waiting for warranty claim to go thru blah hope this gets resolved quickly not looking forward to reinstalling all my drivers, OS etc.. always something hope they cover it. I managed to fast for 21 hours as well, I'm shooting for one 24 hour fast a week this challenge should be interesting considering I forgot I'll be working the next 4-5 Saturdays (when I'm trying to fast). Such is life the best laid plans right....

 

Ate some raw cashews, raisins, and blackberries

Wife did make an awesome dinner Saturday as well.

Roasted apples, sweet potato and onions, asparagus and pork chop on a bed of spinach

 

 

Only ate once today seemed weird I didn't intend to do this but I didn't get hungry

That would be - sweet potato, bacon, onion, garlic, red bell pepper, spinach and some very ugly fried eggs and lets not forget the hot sauce lol. Had a damn good strawberry, apple, banana smoothie for desert =P

 

here's the workout : 24min 9 sec

 

Body weight squats 3 X 20

Push ups 3 x 10

Walking lunges 3 x 20

Body weight rows hanging from rings 3 x 10

Planks 3 x 35 sec with 5 leg raises each leg

Jumping jacks 3 x 30

 

Last day for this workout, tomorrow starts interval training on the bike and the other days will be a devil of a BWW, /gulp I know it's gonna hurt but be worth it.

[SevenofSeven]

Love that you are posting pictures of your foods again! Awesome.