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Goal: Don't have a Crappy Holiday 

crappy_holidays_png_post_card-rb27f51f9b

Motivation: 

Don't lose momentum over the holidays. Keep on track with paleo, continue working out. Do. Not. Binge. It just makes me feel awful. Eat like crap, feel like crap, look like crap. Don't have a crappy holiday! 

 

eat-like-crap.jpg

 

 

Plan: 

Eat mostly paleo, try a few days of Whole30. Leniency on Christmas and NYE. 

Run 3x/week, strength train 3x/week, do some extra cardio of walking or elliptical if I want to. 

Go to OA meetings if I feel it will be helpful. 

 

 

Points: 

Keep it simple. Follow the plan I lay out for myself. If I follow the plan, I get a point, if I don't, no point!

Since there's no leveling up or attributes for this challenge, I'm making my own incentives. If I get the first 7 points, then I can buy new black boots (which I really need anyway). If I complete the full challenge, then I can buy a sunrise alarm clock!!!  

eclat-black-riding-boot-with-silver-clasLUMIE_BODYCLOCK_STARTER_25_Dawn_Simulati

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Bam Sammy! Go on with your bad self. I'm right there with you with the eat crap/feel crap equation. Usually holiday and family time is gross for me. I'm gonna keep checkin in on ya for this mini challenge. Here's to changing this year's equation!

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Hooray for doing the Christmas challenge!  You can totally do this... good luck and don't forget to enjoy yourself over the holidays :D

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Bam Sammy! Go on with your bad self. I'm right there with you with the eat crap/feel crap equation. Usually holiday and family time is gross for me. I'm gonna keep checkin in on ya for this mini challenge. Here's to changing this year's equation!

 

Woooo! Need a change for this holiday season! Gonna eat great, feel great! ;)

 

Whoo - you got this! :-D

 

Thanks lady! 

 

Hooray for doing the Christmas challenge!  You can totally do this... good luck and don't forget to enjoy yourself over the holidays :D

 

Will do! Excited to eat a slice of pecan pie and watch my nephew open presents!!! 

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Good day today - ate Whole30 approved foods, but TOTALLY forgot I'm not supposed to be chewing gum on Whole30 type days. I'm not actually doing a Whole30 so I guess it doesn't matter that much. I'm mostly just trying out eating along the Whole30 lines to make sure that I can do it in the future. Ellipticalled for 30 minutes. Did a ton of grocery shopping so all set for the next few days. Woo! Oh wait, the next few days are Christmas Eve, Christmas and the day after Christmas. AAAHHH!!! 

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We got this Sammy. Today was my first day of serious christmas food exposure and I'm here to tell you this shit is doable. I'm feeling very cautious about the next three days. One. Day. At. A. Time. MMMMK? Kill it sharky. 

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This is what I imagine when I think about you doing a challenge.

 

sharknado.jpg

 

I can't see this picture, Lo. :( BUT I can tell it's something from Sharknado. Did you know they're going to make a sequel!? :)

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Merry Christmas! 

 

Got up early today and went for a run. It was the worst. run. ever. Eden, my dog, was pulling like crazy, trying to eat the squirrels. She was either about to lay me out flat from pulling, stopping me short from going after a squirrel to the sides, or tripping me up running all around my feet. Fucking ridiculous. The "run" ended up being an exercise in leash walking through the valley of squirrels. I was SO FRUSTRATED. I almost started crying. I am extra emotional today anyway. Last night, at midnight mass, I realized that was the first time I'd been in that church since my dad's funeral. And I just wanted to cry the whole time. Plus I think I'm getting my period, I feel/look fat, and I have nothing to wear today. 

 

I'm extra frustrated because this run was supposed to be something I felt good about today. A great way to get me up and get me going and feel invigorated about today and motivated to stay on track. Instead I feel like a big weepy mess. I'm sad, I'm ashamed of my dog, I'm upset with my lack of training her, I'm ashamed at how I treated her on our "run" and how much I yelled at her, and how much I swore. Is Christmas really the day to be taking God's name in vain? I miss my dad. Christmas is going to be so shitty without him. I want to try to enjoy today but I just don't really know how to suppress the missing him/sad feelings and focus on the happy to see other people feelings. I just want to lay in bed and cry all day. Which is basically what I'm doing right now. 

 

UGH! 

 

So while I was running, I actually had to stop and like try to say the serenity prayer, except I never remember exactly how it goes. I was just so frustrated with Eden, I needed to try anything. Here: 

 

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, 

The courage to change the things I can, 

And the wisdom to know the difference. 

 

That got me thinking about all the feels I feel today and where they come from and what I can do about it. So, here's the breakdown: 

 

  • Eden's pulling/general unruliness on the leash: I can change this. I have to accept what happened today, and changing this will require effort and diligence on my part, but it can be changed. 
  • Being fat: I can change this, too. Not today, not overnight, but with effort. 
  • Not having cute clothes: I can change this, too, although part of my feelings about my clothes are related to the fact that I am already so frustrated. 
  • My dad is dead: I can't change this. I guess I have to accept it. Maybe I haven't gotten to that part of the grief process yet. 
  • Period feelings: can't change it. Can try to change how I react, but my hormones are just all over and I get extra super emotional I think awareness alone helps me take a little control of my reactions. 

 

I feel a little better. But not really. 

 

I really do hope that everyone, including myself, has a very Merry Christmas today. <3 

 

[edit:] I think it's really important to focus on positive stuff, so here are GOOD things about today: 

 

  • It's CHRISTMAS!!!! Yay Jesus! 
  • I get to see lots of family today! 
  • My sister bumped back the time we have to come over by an hour, so I have time to get my hair all purdy! 
  • I get to watch my nephew open presents! 
  • The high today is 42! Fuck snow. I hope it all melts! 
  • No work today! 
  • I'm alive, I have all my limbs, I have lots of friends who love me and care about me, I have a great job. 

 

Lots to be happy about and be thankful for. <3 

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Oh Sammy... This was such a heartbreaker to read darlin. What I can most relate to is what it's like to be grieving. I'm studying psychotherapy and our teachers are constantly reminding us that grief cannot be "treated.' That it is s completely natural phenomenon and the best we can do is support ourselves/others to cope through the really hard times. There's nothing to fix though. I've been doing some grieving of my own throughout the last year and one thing that I keep catching myself doing is trying to fix myself. All this stuff about your dog and your body and your PMS...sounds like you're being hard on yourself sweetness. I'm just hearing that something really huge and emotional-flu inducing has come up for you. Now's not the time to construct a to-do list, ya know? I vote you take really excellent care of yourself. We both know this doesn't mean eating your face off, but it might not mean killing it at the gym either. This whole fitness and self-care thing: what's the point if it's not to give us more stability through times like the day you're having? If all you want to do is stay in bed, i think staying in bed might be a very kind thing to do. Whatever you decide to do to get through I fully support. Be as gentle with you as you can and cope well out there SS. Sending warmth.

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Oh Sammy... This was such a heartbreaker to read darlin. What I can most relate to is what it's like to be grieving. I'm studying psychotherapy and our teachers are constantly reminding us that grief cannot be "treated.' That it is s completely natural phenomenon and the best we can do is support ourselves/others to cope through the really hard times. There's nothing to fix though. I've been doing some grieving of my own throughout the last year and one thing that I keep catching myself doing is trying to fix myself. All this stuff about your dog and your body and your PMS...sounds like you're being hard on yourself sweetness. I'm just hearing that something really huge and emotional-flu inducing has come up for you. Now's not the time to construct a to-do list, ya know? I vote you take really excellent care of yourself. We both know this doesn't mean eating your face off, but it might not mean killing it at the gym either. This whole fitness and self-care thing: what's the point if it's not to give us more stability through times like the day you're having? If all you want to do is stay in bed, i think staying in bed might be a very kind thing to do. Whatever you decide to do to get through I fully support. Be as gentle with you as you can and cope well out there SS. Sending warmth.

 

Thank, Magma. I'm not really sure how to handle all this stuff, but I'm wading through it and trying to make the best of things. :)

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Christmas was not too bad. Ran in the morning, managed to eat relatively reasonably. I was absolutely ravenous though! Tried to eat lots of veggies and olives to deal with that. I was absolutely starving when I woke up this morning though, which leads me to believe I did not overeat yesterday. It's hard to tell sometimes. Anyway, Whole30 eating today, and a run and bbww later tonight. Yes.

 

Also, going to try not weighing myself throughout these two weeks. I might weigh myself once at the halfway point though... Old habits die hard.

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I like the rewards. what kind of boots are those?

 

Sorry to hear about the xmas blues.  I generally slip into a depression every single year, twice a year around new years and my b-day.  I've been pretty determined to not be bored mentally. This is the first year that I don't actually HATE myself.

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Great job with your goals so far! 

 

I'm sorry to hear about your bad day though.  I just had a big loss in my family last month and this Christmas was incredibly difficult because if it, so I understand completely.  But all we can do is focus on the good, stay postiive and persevere.  Glad to see you're feeling a bit better since Christmas.  Good luck in these upcoming days and I hope you stay positive!

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I like the rewards. what kind of boots are those?

 

Sorry to hear about the xmas blues.  I generally slip into a depression every single year, twice a year around new years and my b-day.  I've been pretty determined to not be bored mentally. This is the first year that I don't actually HATE myself.

 

I'm not sure what kind of boots they are - I just picked a random picture. I'm super picky and having a really hard time finding any boots that I like.

 

Glad to hear you are having a better holiday this year. It's so easy to get down on ourselves at times. You'd think with all the happiness around holidays that it wouldn't be so bad, but something about it just makes it crappy sometimes. <3

 

Great job with your goals so far! 

 

I'm sorry to hear about your bad day though.  I just had a big loss in my family last month and this Christmas was incredibly difficult because if it, so I understand completely.  But all we can do is focus on the good, stay postiive and persevere.  Glad to see you're feeling a bit better since Christmas.  Good luck in these upcoming days and I hope you stay positive!

 

Thanks, Raxie! Losses are so hard around the holidays. I'm sorry to hear you've had one too. *Hugs*

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I had kind of a revelation last night while I was taking a bath and thinking about how much I like to sleep and watch Netflix... I realized that I use both of those activities to cope with my - I don't want to call it depression - sadness/malcontent.

 

I like to sleep a lot because I don't want to face the day. In truth, I think I do best on 7.5hrs of sleep, but I'll sleep for 9 every night if I can (which is easy if you aren't doing anything else with your life).

 

I marathon watch shows on Netflix because I want to escape reality. I'm not sure if that's because my life is so mundane or what, but I think the most likely explanation is that I'm trying to avoid feeling stress from things I have to do that I constantly procrastinate.

 

I also realized that I spend a LOT of money on CRAP every month. Like, holy cow, crap everywhere. I want to change everything all at once. I want to be more focused and dedicated and more on track with everything. I know that's not going to happen overnight, but they are things I can start working on. I need to limit my Netflix time to AFTER I complete other necessary tasks. I need stop hiding in my sleep, and commit to only sleeping 7.5 hrs per week night (but more on weekends is fine). I need to utilize all the financial management tools I have at my fingertips to limit spending so I can pay off my loans.

 

This doesn't really have much to do with this current mini-challenge, except that I see these as things I need to work on in order to achieve bigger goals. Like, I've got to sleep less if I want to be working out more. I need to workout BEFORE I watch Netflix. Otherwise I am just miserable and hiding. And I hide in my food, too. But if there is less to hide from, maybe I won't want to hide as much.

 

Things to think about for the next full challenge.

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It's good to have some goals set up for the next challenge.  However, if I may be so meta- any type of addiction is used as a replacement for regular suffering/humanity.  Whether its drinking, smoking, drugs, food (most of us here), gambling, shopping spree, games, and tv for zoning out of reality... Because it's easier to have a vice instead of a plan.

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It's good to have some goals set up for the next challenge.  However, if I may be so meta- any type of addiction is used as a replacement for regular suffering/humanity.  Whether its drinking, smoking, drugs, food (most of us here), gambling, shopping spree, games, and tv for zoning out of reality... Because it's easier to have a vice instead of a plan.

 

Sorta begs the question - is planning just another addiction? If you saw how much time I spent planning things today, you might think so... Not the least healthy habit though! ;)

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Sorta begs the question - is planning just another addiction? If you saw how much time I spent planning things today, you might think so... Not the least healthy habit though! ;)

It's good to have some goals set up for the next challenge.  However, if I may be so meta- any type of addiction is used as a replacement for regular suffering/humanity.  Whether its drinking, smoking, drugs, food (most of us here), gambling, shopping spree, games, and tv for zoning out of reality... Because it's easier to have a vice instead of a plan.

Hmmm. What if I'm planning to have a vice? BAH! Sorry I'm a total smart ass and can't help it.

Sammy, keep it up!

I love hearing your positives. They remind me to be positive, too.

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Sorta begs the question - is planning just another addiction? If you saw how much time I spent planning things today, you might think so... Not the least healthy habit though! ;)

If it takes over other responsiblities to live a balanced life, then yes. 

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